The League of Super Evil
by Danfics
Summary: A spin-off of the Hot Topic Krew: Shrek wasn't exactly evil, but he's somehow ended up in some crazy madhouse, along with his lover, Elsa. While battling his own internal conflicts and emotions, will Shrek be able to lead his group to glory, or will it all fall apart before his very eyes? Also, Chad Kroeger and Deadpool are in it. And Magolor, but nobody likes him. Poor guy.
1. Chapter 1: the gang goes to washington

**Okay, so I'm joining the Hot Topic Krew spin-off bandwagon and I am happy to be here. I hope my mother is proud as well as the original HTK author.**

* * *

Shrek was minding his good ol' ogre business in the bathroom and someone knocked on the door. "Shrek, can you hurry up in there?" a voice kindly asked.

"Yeah, just a shrekcond! I need to hurry up and let everything out at the start of the series so we can go a few chapters without ogreused and frequent bathroom jokes or gas humor. Because what are we, 12?" Shrek kidded. He finished up his business and flushed. He stood on the scale next to the toilet. "Nice! An entire five pounds less than before I got on here!"

"Shrek! Please, you can weigh yourself later!" the voice pleaded. The person was about to go from pleading to peeing.

"Okay, okay! I'm on my way out!" the ogre responded. He opened the bathroom door and passed by Elsa. She gave him a loving look. Elsa was Shrek's girlfriend and I can't believe I'm writing this.

"Thanks Shrek," Elsa said as she gave him a kiss and what the HELL am I writing.

Anyway, Shrek walked by the living room. Pichu and Magolor were playing a game of chess like nerds in the corner. They were nerds. Dr. Mario was glued to the TV, watching his favorite show of all time, Sakurai's Nintendo Fanfiction. Dr. Mario had an unhealthy obsession with the show, an seemed to never react to it. He just sat there and stared at it when it was on. Then there was Chad Kroger, who played guitar in his room all day. Metal Face just sat deactivated in the corner all day because he was basically a robot that Yoshi had enhanced for the League of Super Evil. Metal Face had everything related to Terminator saved in his system files, included every movie in the franchise pirated onto him. Hell, he even had various Terminator arcade games pirated onto him. Meanwhile, Tingle was coloring in coloring books, Nui was being... Nui, I guess, and Phosphora was just listening to her pop CDs with her volume up way too loud.

Shrek plopped down at the Table of Evil, a table where everyone gathered up to plan their evil deeds. He pressed a button and everyone migrated over to the table. "What shall we do today?" Shrek wondered.

"Something evil!" Pichu suggested.

"Well duh, you stupid little rat," Phosphora groaned.

"What else would we do?" Chad retorted.

"God why are you so worthless?" Nui asked.

"Guys, guys! Calm down, he was just trying to give input!" Magolor said.

"Shut up Magolor!" yelled everybody else, including Pichu.

"We need to do something big to show how truly evil we are," Dr. Mario begun. Shrek was glad to hear Dr. Mario striking up the conversation, because he always had the best plans. "How about we do something so diabolical and unthinkable everyone will fear us when they hear our names?"

"Ooh, do go on," Elsa said excitedly.

"Let's go destroy President Lincoln," Dr. Mario said. Everyone was flabbergasted. It was so evil, so perfect. They had to do it!

Everyone geared up. Shrek got his trusty Onionblade, made of the strongest onions, almost thicker than a diamond! Elsa was charging up her ice powers, Nui was wielding her stolen scissor sword she stole from some girl named Ryuko, Phosphora was charging her electricity, Dr. Mario had his evil pills ready, Pichu was copying Phosphora, Chad was getting ready to use his weaponized guitar, Metal Face had his robot weapons and shit, Magaolor ran off away from the group when nobody was looking and went to the park crying, and Tingle was geting tingly.

So the gang departed and they arriveda at the statue of President Lincoln. Mega Man and Pit were there, making out relentlessly.

"Shit, that freeaboo Pit is here," Shrek observed. "Let's wait until they leave."

And then they were there for hours. It turned out Pit and Mega Man were going to camp out there in sleeping bags. The League decided to camp out somewhere nearby but out of site in their own sleeping bags. Shrek plopped a Nickelback CD into his CD player. He loved Nickelback. Elsa, however, did not.

"Turn that shit down!" Elsa whisper-yelled at Shrek as he listened to Something in Your Mouth. "Pretty little lady with a pretty pink thong every sugar daddy hitting on her all night long," the lead singer sang. Chad Kroger was keeping his distance. He always seemed weirded out when Shrek listened to Nickelback... like he was keeping a big secret from them, but that'll be discussed in another chapter.

* * *

Meanwhile Magolor was at the park crying. "Why do they hate me?" he wailed. "Is it because I'm fat?"

There was a rumble from a bush nearby, followed by munching sounds. Magolor was startled, but his stupidly friendly side made him walk forth. Yes, he may have tried to destory the world, but after being hated so much he became shy and felt so worthless he became very kindhearted somehow. He tapped on the bush and a fat face covered with chocolate lifted up.

"You can't have my candy!" the voice shouted. Magolor was startled.

"I don't want your candy, I promise!" Magolor said. The person then looked less angry.

"Oh, okay. Well nice to meet you," the person said. "I'm Gaius and I got fat from eating candy."

"I'm Magolor and I got fat from stress-eating after everyone hated me for almost destroying the world," Magolor greeted.

Gaius smiled at him. "Well, in that case if you're a fellow candy-fanatic I can share with you," he said as he gave him a Twix.

Magolor loved Twix. They were his favorite. "Wow, these are my favorite," he said because they were his favorite.

"They're mine too! Guess that makes us best friends," Gaius said. "You should join me and my friend."

"Your friend?" Magolor said confused. Then he realized another fat person was there. It was Kellam from Fire Emblem: Awakening. Wait, who?

"Yeah, he's another fat person who likes Twix too. People don't make fun of him, because they don't even know him," Gaius explained.

"Wow, you guys seem cool! We should be a group, you know? We're all kind of similar and I hate my old group..." Magolor spoke up.

"We should be the Beautiful Underappreciated Tubby Trio. BUTT for short," Gaius suggested.

"Yeah, I think I like that name," Magolor said.

* * *

So The League was camping out. They had all fallen asleep while waiting for Pit and Mega Man to go to bed. Sadly, Pit and Mega Man stayed up all night playing a game of Monopoly: White House edition. Pit played as Lincoln as his kind boyfriend Mega Man let him, and Mega Man played as Obama who he got with the Obama DLC pack.

The League woke up early in the morning, with Mega Man and Pit staring them down. "Sup guys?" Mega Man said.

"Oh... we were just uh, sitting out here and trying to uh, have a good presidential time!" Phosphora said.

"Yeah, we were trying to get educated on our founding fathers and all that. We're really big fans," Pichu said.

"Oh my God! You should totally join us on our week long campout date!" Pit said.

GOD. NO. "Not all week, hell no, no way," Shrek thought to himself.

"Well actually," Elsa mumbled. "We have to get home right now. Dr. Mario is going to miss his show and he hasn't missed an episode ever since it aired."

"Oh really? What show?" Pit asked.

"Sakurai's Nintendo Fanfiction. That one show that one time passed The Walking Dead in ratings," Shrek explained.

"Ooh! I love that show!" Pit said. "I can't believe so many characters on that show are blatant rip-offs of us though. Heck, some even share the same names."

"Yeah well haha, we'd better get home now or else Dr. Mario will be upset. Come on, gang," Shrek said. Pit and Mega Man waved as they left and returned home.

"So what's the new plan?" Phosphora asked in a bored voice.

"We're not going back. It's not worth it," Shrek said. "Instead, we're going back in time. We're going to erase Lincoln from existence."

That night, as Shrek and Elsa went to bed, Shrek couldn't fall asleep. Over the past few days his past started to bother him. "Oh Shadow, as happy as I may be now, I still miss thou..."

* * *

**NEXT EPISODE: Will Shrek and co be able to take down the heroic President Lincoln? THE REAL ONE? Or will they instead find some weird ancient civilizations that worship Shrek and Elsa as opposing religions? Probably the latter. Also, will the BUTT do anything relevant? Probably not.**


	2. Chapter 2: the gang time travels part I

**And in this exciting new chapter of The League of Super Evil, Shrek and his broges go back in time.**

* * *

"Hey! That thing better be ready! We've been waiting a whole week!" Shrek bellowed. His voice carried across the lab. You see, the League had a lab under its very own HQ.

"Yeah, it should be functioning now. Just worked out the the last kink and it's rarin' to go," Dr. Mario said as he tightened something with a wrench on a very complex machine.

"Alright now, before we begin I just think we should set a few ground rules on time traveling," Elsa spoke up. Lord knows we need time paradoxes in the HTK canon if this is even canon who knows. "We can't go changing things willy-nilly or else we could do something with horrible repercussions. We can't do anything specifically biased or geared toward us, either."

"Then Magolor should stay the hell back," Phosphora said in a mocking voice.

"Bitch what was that?!" Magolor shrieked in his best "tough-sounding" voice. "I mean, Gosh... please don't hurt me I didn't know what I just said please forgive me..."

Phosphora and her BFF Nui just looked at him with smirks. What a card.

"Guess that's what happens when you have no true friends," Nui whispered to Phosphora as they both giggled.

"Magolor, we actually need you to stay back. We need to rely on someone to make sure this machien doesn't do anything funny and stays powered on. Or, you know, to make sure somebody doesn't come through it. That would be bad," Shrek said. Shrek was actually a nice person so he didn't like seeing Magolor frown.

"Alright, I'll do my best. Thanks for being supportive, Shrek," Magolor said.

"Yeah, whatever," Shrek replied. "Let's just power that thing up and be on our way then."

And with that note, Dr. Mario powered up his time machine and it ripped open a portal.

"Alright gang, we have two objectives. We must prevent Lincoln ever rising to fame and we need to prevent 50 Shades of Grey from happening. I could explain the latter in more detail, but let's save that for the future, alright?" Shrek elaborated. Everyone nodded and worked their way into the portal. Magolor watched for like one minute before slipping off and leaving the HQ to go see his fellow BUTT members.

* * *

So Shrek and Elsa and the gang emerged from the other side of the portal and they were in ancient...ish times.

"Alright, how the hell do we take down Lincoln-kun?" Shrek spoke up, immediately wanting to get to business. "I'm gonna Shrek him up!"

And then suddenly, a tribe of people nearby gasped. These people were all wearing onion-skin helmets and onion-knitted undergarents. They all seemed to have Shrek-esque ear earrings too.

"It's the second coming!" they all started chanting in unison. Then they noticed Elsa. "Ahh! The anti-shrist! Take her down before she harms the Ogrelord!"

"What?" Elsa gasped. They all started to swarm toward her but Shrek got in the way and released a mighty ogre yell.

"You stay away from my love if ye know what's good for you!" Shrek shouted. Everyone backed up in fear and wonderment.

"The almighty one has a more elegant voice than imagined," spoke one of the tribe members with an affectionate tone.

"What the Shrek is going on here?" Shrek asked in confusion.

"We," a tribe member with a special onion-bra said as he approached Shrek. "Are the Shitpostians. You are our lord and savior with just the right flavor, Shrek."

"Flavor?"

"Yes, your holy onion scent. It beckons us forward and blesses us. It draws us closer to the truth!" the tribe-leader dude guy said. "However... SHE stands against everything you represent! How can you side with her?" the tribe guy asked, pointing at Elsa.

"Elsa? I've known her for all my life. My good ol' friend Donkeh introduced me. We've been good friends ever since. Hell, we're even lovers," Shrek casually replied, still keeping himself between Elsa and the tribe.

"Wait? So if Shrek is like your God... and I'm against him... am I some sort of opposing religion's figure?" Elsa inquired.

One of the tribe guys laughed and scoffed. "Oh please, your Tumblurian ways aren't so sly. Drop the act and admit this is nothing more than a cheap ploy, snowcone."

"Snowcone?!" Elsa barked with intense scorn.

"Back off with your bad omens and frozen, demonic heart! You and your Tumblurian CULT will never take away our Shrek!" one of the tribe people said as he held up his spear. Others took notice and lifted up their weapons as well.

"Don't any of you move or I will show you no mercy!" Shrek hissed. Everyone dropped their weapons.

"No Shrek," Elsa whispered. "Maybe I should slip away for now. You can find out what's going on with them and maybe get some details on the mission. Me? I'll just look around."

"But, Elsa..."

"Shrek."

"Fine. Do what you have to, just be careful out there. How about a kiss for good luck though?"

"Not with them watching, they'll get mad."

"Okay, fine. Just go then"

And with that, Elsa departed in peace as Shrek gave facial expressions and warnings to the tribe not to pull anything.

* * *

So Magolor was at the park with Gaius (who started going by Phat Gaius) and Kellam (who started going by Big Kellam). Magolor didn't have a name himself, as he felt he didn't need one to mock and ridicule his crippling problems and shame, as his name was associated with his physique. Yes, that is exactly what he said, verbatim. He was trying too hard to sound deep, meaningful, and poetic and Gaius thought it was deeper than an asshole and went with it. Kellam, being a poetry savant, found it offensive that Magolor would even dare call it such, but oh well.

So the BUTT was discussing things. They were laughing, eating candy, and goddammit I need to finish this chapter so I can exercise and stop myself from eating. But basically yeah, they were having a grand time sitting around hidden within a few bushes at the park. They tried to suppress their giggles so nobody would find them, but they would soon find out they weren't quiet enough. The bush suddenly shook and light broke in from above.

"Oh look, a bunch of fatasses," said an asshole Pokemon. It was known other than Mewtwo, the edgy asshole Pokemon who studied (or taught, I forget) physics at Harvard.

"Oh look, a giant asshole," Gaius retorted as he snorted Fun Dip sugar.

"Giant, huh? Look who's talking. Oh wait, you're too big for a mirror," Mewtwo said as he chuckled.

"Yeah? Well at least we're not too ugly for a mirror," Magolor said as he high fived with his friends.

"You can burn me all you want, but why don't you burn some of those calories instead?" The asshole Pokemon replied. Shots. Fired.

"Yeah? Well why don't you stop suppressing the fact you secretly miss that fat bit- I mean witch Cia and taking out your fatphobia on us?" Magolor shouted back.

Mewtwo's expression tightened. "You know what? Screw you all!" Mewtwo said very edgily. The edge was sharper than Lara Croft's boobers in the Nintendo 64 Tomb Raider games. He started to walk away. "If I ever have to fight you, I'm not going to hold back!" he yelled as he pulled a Capri-Sun out of hammerspace and started drinking it.

* * *

Okay so Chad Kroger was wandering around in the past. He slipped away when nobody was looking and man he was gonna cause some shit with his ulterior motives.

He hung up Nickelback posters all over along with cheap CD players with Nickelback CDs. "Man, they'll eat this shit up," he thought to himself as he stapled a Nickelback poster to a tree. "This was a golden opportunity," he said as he dropped a wrapped present with a CD of All the Right Reasons. He then dropped a biased negative review of rival bands from his timeline, including ones that goths loved. Chad thought of the mall goths his boss Yoshi warned him about and smiled. He would please himself and his boss. Suddenly, a portal opened up. It was Magolor from the future.

"Magolor? Piss off! Nothing suspicious here, I mean. Not hanging up Nickelback posters because it's not like I'm their lead singer and trying to exploit time travel for fame haha nope," Chad said.

Then Magolor (or was it someone else?) said, "Shut your mouth you mediocre vocalist. I already know what you are and I'm here to stop you from jacking up the timeline."

"Magolor? You for real here?"

"In my future, I'm Magolmore. After your band sabotage and fame exploit in the past went horribly wrong, there was a freak change in the destined events of the timeline and I became a famous singer. And every single retail store became a thrift shop that plays the song Thrift Shop. It's awful!" Magolmore explained.

"Holy shit. You really got here just in time then. I could have caused an apocalypse," Chad said, relieved.

"Yeah. Now that I've prevented it though I shall cease to exist," Magolmore explained. He started to vanish slowly.

"Alright, well thanks for the warning. I'll exploit band fame some other way. Without revealing my secret, too!"

* * *

So meanwhile Shrek and co were still at the Shitpostians camp. Shrek tried asking about Lincoln so he and his squad could go assassinate him, but they had no luck in getting any info. Apparently their portal took them to another part of the world secluded and isolated from America and every other country or something. Or maybe they went too far back into the past. Either way, it looked like danger was incoming.

"Let me go! How did you even manage to tie us all up in the first place?" Shrek screamed.

A tribe member spoke as he tied Shrek together with chains. "'No' isn't an answer we shall accept, Ogrelord. Not even from you. We shall execute Elsa and destory the Tumblrians for trying to steal you, our superior Shitpostian lord, and claim you as their own. Those greedy ones already have their own God, much inferior to you! This is for your own good!"

* * *

**NEXT EPISODE: Oh no! However will Shrek and his gang manage to stop the upcoming conflict between Shitpostians and Tumblrians? What the hell happened to Elsa? And wow BUTT did nothing but have comic relief and Chad almost screwed over the timeline but oh boy wait until you see what he might cause later on. Anyway, tune in next time for another exciting chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3: the gang time travels part II

**Welcome to an all new exciting chapter of The League of Super Evil! This chapter is being typed up RIGHT NOW by ME at 1:00 A frickin' M. I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep after I'm done.**

* * *

Elsa wandered through the forest. She was confused but trying desperately not to get lost. She had no idea where or when she was.

Then suddenly, a bunch of people in dark-blue TFW NO GF masks appeared. They wore blue and black bodysuits as well and wielded large phallic spears. Elsa shot a blast of ice as one of the few shadowy foes launched a spear at her, freezing the spear dead in its tracks. She immediately started running, wishing she hadn't wore her dress. She kept going back in the direction of the Shitpostian camp, and as it seemed as she was in vocal range of the camp to call for help, she suddenly felt a pinch on her neck. She yawned and dropped to the ground. Then I went to bed and decided I'd finish this story when I got up.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Shitpostian camp, Shrek was demanding he be untied as he was crucified. All of his friends were tied to sticks that were turning above fires.

"Calm down, Shrek. They're not gonna let us go," Dr. Mario said in his usual calm yet creepy voice.

"But Elsa is out there and they have us all tied up like human sacrifices!" Shrek yelled.

The Shitpostian chief approached Shrek at his cross. "They're the sacrifices, my Ogrelord. You are our source of power and hope. We have you tied up for display."

"Then I demand you untie me this instant!" Shrek demanded.

"This is for your own good," the chief flatly stated. He turned his back to Shrek and stared at the bonfire at the center of camp. If Shrek were untied, he would push him into it. The chief yawned as he grabbed a horn and blew into it. He lifted his onion-crafted spear as every Shitpostian gathered around the camp in silence, wearing their white and gold onion gear. The chief cleared his throat.

"Today we shall rise,  
Tonight the Tumblrian dies!  
After all their cries,  
their badland dries!"

All of the Shitpostians started chanting this in unison as they lifted their spears. Shrek had seen some shit in his life, but this was flat out unsettling. He roared but everyone raised the volume on their chanting to zone him out.

"ANCIENT SINS, ANCIENT SINS. ANCIENT BLOOD AND BLACKENED SKIES, THE DARK FOREST SHALL ONCE MORE RISE!" The chief cried. His voice echoed through the sky. "Tonight's the night we launch our onslaught! We shall avenge our glorious leader Shrek and demonlish the Tumblrians for tarnishing him!"

"We don't want to be involved in this!" Shrek shouted. "Let us go now!"

The Shitpostian chief glanced back at Shrek. "Sorry, Shrek. We need you tied up so we can draw your power from you. We're going to kill Elsa. As I said before, it is for your own good."

Shrek roared in anger again as all of his companions yelled as well. The Shitpostian chanting grew louder and the chief made his way to the back of the crowd as everyone turned and followed him into the forest. Elsa was in danger.

* * *

Magolor was sitting down with his friends Gaius and Kellam. They all just woke up from a sleepover at their hiding spot in the bush at the park.

Kellam's stomach rumbled loudly which made Gaius and Magolor notice him for the first time that day. They both smiled at him, but Kellam gave them both an angry expression.

"Kellam? What's wrong?" Magolor and Gaius asked. Kellam looked at them with an evil stare. He licked his lips and leaped at Gaius.

"AHHHH!" Gaius screamed. Kellam violently bit into his leg oh my GODS. Blood squirted out a bit and Magolor started to freak out.

"What do I do, WHAT DO I DO?" Magolor shouted.

"Toss me a Snickers bar. NOW!" Gaius commanded.

Magolor looked over at the pile of candy bars and picked out a Snickers. He tossed it at Gaius who unwrapped it and jammed it into Kellam's mouth. Upon the sweet taste of the chocolatey goodness, Kellam calmed down.

"What the hell was that all about?" Magolor asked in horror.

Gaius rubbed his leg and started to patch it up with discarded candy wrappers. "Oh man, you didn't know, did you? Kellam isn't himself when he's hungry. He needs a Snickers."

* * *

Elsa woke up, tied up to a cross. Her captors surrounded her. She tried blasting some of her ice powers, however her hands were tied down and the atmosphere was hot.

"What do you want from me?" Elsa demanded to know. She was afraid that she may have just waltzed her way into a kink cult.

"Do not be alarmed. We will not harm you. We just want to speak to you and use your power, is all," a person in a black and blue dress spoke calmly.

"Then why do you have me tied up? And use my power? What does that even mean?" Elsa asked. She tried to speak back in way that seemed friendly yet intimidating.

"We, the Tumblrians, need you to defeat the Shitpostians. They have wronged us in the past by trying to take away what was rightfully ours. Elsa, you may not realize this but you are the second coming of our leader. Their true reincarnation," the dress-wearer explained.

Elsa was still confused. "How did these... Shitpostians, as you called them, wrong you?"

The Tumblrian sighed. "They tried to shreck us. Not only that, but they claimed the Holy Dress warn by the Legendary Bae is white and gold, when it is truly black and blue. They are wrong."

"...All this over a dress? And did you just say Shrek?" Elsa inquired.

The Tumblrian shrugged. "It's hard to understand, and we said shrecked. They almost shrecked us up and destroyed us. You see, Shrek is their leader, and we can feel his essence nearby too. His reincarnation must be nearby, which is why we shall strike tonight. Sorry Elsa, but we must use your power to defeat Shrek and the Shitpostians once and for all!"

"No!" Elsa cried. The horde of Tumblrians started to walk off. One of them looked at Elsa like as if he felt kind of guilty for not helping her, but continued to walk along. "Help!"

Then suddenly, noodle monsters emerged from the forest. They cut the ropes keeping Elsa up to her cross and let her free. Chad Kroeger ran into the scene with his glorious, shining, golden, and loose ramen hair. "Elsa" he called. He ran over to her as he panted for breath.

"Chad! Did you come to rescue me?"

"Yeah, I decided to check up on you in case something bad happened. I didn't tell Shrek though, or anything. Uhh... wait what exactly was going on here?"

"I'll explain on the way, but for now we have to regroup with the others before something horrible happens. Shrek is in danger!"

* * *

Shrek gazed toward the trees as the entire forest caught on fire. A wall of fire surrounded the camp as Shrek grew warm. He felt himself sweat up, and that's when he realized he could now slip his body out of all the ropes. He dropped down. He ran over to his friends, untying each and every one.

"God, I'm baking out here," Phosphora complained.

"What are we supposed to do now? Where the hell did Elsa go?" Nui wondered.

Pichu bit into his arm. "I cooked well," he said.

"It is approximately 120F out here. We should leave before we succumb to heat," Metalface stated in a generic robot voice, sounding as if he were frying to death near the end.

"At this rate, he will melt within an hour. We need to get out of here," Dr. Mario observed.

Without saying anything, Shrek broke into a run and everyone followed. They ran down an open trail through the fire like a bunch of badasses and kept going. Within the forest of flames they saw Shitpostians and Tumblrians battle, violently killing one another and some even offing themselves due to the intense heat.

"Elsa!" Shrek cried. "Where are you?"

Fear begun to dwell within Shrek, but he kept running. He dripped sweat and tears. The image of Elsa engulfed in flames and screaming was in the back of his mind. He ran faster every time the thought came to him.

"Elsa!" Shrek cried out again as he tripped on small log on the ground.

"Shrek?" A familiar voice questioned.

Shrek looked up. It was his beloved Elsa, with Chad Kroeger who had mysteriously vanished earlier.

"Elsa! Chad!" Shrek rejoiced.

"There's no time. We have to escape and get back into the portal, or else we-" Elsa begun, but then the entire world shook.

A portal opened up in the sky and a large godly angelic head emerged.

"I am the Legendary Bae," it spoke. "I have traveled through many timelines and dimensions to put an eternal end to the begins known as Shrek and Elsa. Today is the day you two shall be sent to rest in Hell."

It looked directly at Shrek and Elsa.

"You two have caused this mayhem and have harmed the world in more ways than you could imagine," it said.

"We never intended any of this!" Shrek yelled.

"Oh, really?" it asked in a mocking tone. "Then explain all of it."

"We don't want them to fight! We tried to stop them! Shrek and I don't oppose each other! We've always loved each other!" Elsa said as I can't believe I'm writing this.

The Legendary Bae hummed in curiosity. "If that is so. Prove your love to me with two trials."

"We'll do anything," Shrek and Elsa said in unison.

The Legendry Bae froze time and everyone except for Shrek and Elsa.

"First," it said. "Tell me what color this dress is."

The Legendary Bae summoned a large dress in the sky.

"White and Gold!" Shrek said.

"Blue and Black!" Elsa said.

The two exchanged a glance.

"What? Are you colorblind?" Shrek asked.

"No, it's blue and black, dear," Elsa said with a sure yet kind tone.

"Elsa."

"Shrek."

The Legendary Bae grinned. It knew it had pretty must just won.

"Who cares what color it is?" Shrek said casually. "It could be rainbow colored for all I know. It'd still be an ugly dress."

"I can agree on that one. That thing is hideous," Elsa laughed.

The Legendary Bae flinched. "What?" it cried. "How can this be... you didn't succumb to the trick and fight each other? But how?"

"Because we love each other," Shrek said like a cocky anime protagonist.

"Then prove it one more time! Share a loving embrace full of your true love. Show me how much you two actually care about each other!" The Legendary Bae screeched.

Shrek turned and looked deeply into Elsa's eyes. He tried to channel and the love and joy he felt for her, but he didn't feel enough love. He knew he loved Elsa, but he didn't know the extent. Elsa loved him back deeply too, and he could feel all the love she was directing toward him. Shrek thought about love and what it meant to him during his life, but he could only picture Shadow when he tried to imagine true love. Regretfully, he continued to picture Shadow as he leaned in toward Elsa and gave her a kiss.

"So. You two really do show as much love as you claim," The Legendary Bae said. "Very well, but listen here; you two aren't off the hook. When you two are together it only brings danger and harm to everything around you. The first sign of anything bad happening due to you two, I will be back to put an end to both of you," The Legendary Bae warned. It then vanished into thin air as time resumed. The Shitpostians and Tumblrians kept fighting as the forest burned. Shrek, Elsa, and the rest of the league ran for their lives.

They ran as Pichu suddenly tripped and a tree fell over and landed on him.

"Pichu! NO!" Dr. Mario cried. "Anyone but Pichu!"

"Keep running!" Shrek commanded. "If you don't pay attention you'll be next to go!"

Dr. Mario cried as he secretly loved Pichu. They had met during a Melee but they had never been to a Brawl together. Dr. Mario hoped 4 Pichu to return to the next big smashing fighting event but now that would never happen.

"I can't believe my love is gone!" Dr. Mario cried, showing the most emotion he had ever shown to anyone in the league.

Everyone hopped through the portal as it closed. Dr. Mario collapsed to the ground and started to cry loudly. Shrek patted him on the back.

"It'll be okay," Shrek consoled his friend.

"I can't believe he had a thing for him," Phosphora whispered awkwardly to Nui. Nui kind of just shrugged it off because she felt like gossiping about something like this would be rude.

Everyone gathered around Dr. Mario and tried to give him solace as someone coughed for attention. It was someone dressed up like a weaboo but had dark edgy clothing.

"Greetings," she spoke up. "I am Anal, the shadow of Lana. I want to join your league."

* * *

**NEXT EPISODE: *one piece "next episode" song plays* HOLY SHIT IT'S ANAL! What is she doing at the evil base of the League of Super Evil? Well she probably wants to join because that's what she said she wanted to do. Anyway, will the league gets its first replacem- I mean NEW member? Find out in the next exciting chapter of THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL!**


	4. Chapter 4: Shrek Flashback I

**THIS TIME ON THE LEEEEEEAGUE OF SOOPER EVIL, SHREK WILL HAVE SOME FLASHBACKS! Also the rest of the gang tries to help Anal, Lana's shadow, with her group initiation.**

* * *

Shrek sat alone in his room.

"Shrek!" Elsa called through the door.

Shrek sighed loudly enough so that Elsa could hear him from across the door.

"Shrek, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself since we got back from the past! You've been acting worse than Dr. Mario and he had to watch his love die in front of his very own eyes!" Elsa said. She noticed from the side of her eye that Dr. Mario was just passing by in another wing of the hallway and felt bad.

"I'm sorry Elsa. I just need some time alone," Shrek said softly.

"No, Shrek. You need to talk about your problems instead of shutting people off for once," Elsa retorted. "I learned that the hard way," she added a few seconds afterward.

"Yeah, you already told me about all that. But not everybody can change like that. Just leave me be before I start to get mad at you for no reason," Shrek whined.

Elsa felt saddened herself now. She knew better than to try to break sense into Shrek. She decided to just give up for now and to goad him to talk later. But for now, she had to get him to at least help with Anal's initiation.

"Shrek! How about Anal's initiation test? Surely you'll at least help with that, right?" Elsa inquired.

"No. How about you all go do some tp-ing? Go throw some toilet paper around at those dumb goth's HQ when they aren't looking. Yoshi will probably just love that and those stupid goths deserve it," Shrek mumbled.

Elsa frowned as she walked off. She left and made her way down to the Table of Evil. She sat down and pressed the evil button and all her evil friends gathered around the table.

"Where's Shrek? You aren't our leader!" Phosphora complained.

"Sorry, Shrek isn't feeling too well," Elsa explained. She felt kind of annoyed with Shrek because she knew nobody would take her seriously. She sighed, continuing. "We need to launch Anal's initiation, and to do so we shall launch a toilet-paper onslaught on our rivals, the Hot Topic Krew."

"Ooh, that sounds fun!" Phosphora said excitedly.

"Yes, I can affirm that sounds enjoyable," Metalface said as he dispensed toilet paper from his mouth. The toilet paper dispensing was a part of a recent upgrade Yoshi gave him.

"Is it used toilet paper?" Tingle asked. Holy shit I forgot he was in this series.

"That's disgusting as hell! Gross," Chad said disgusted. Tingle giggled at his response.

"Wait, we have to TP the goths? This is perfect" Anal said. "My original self will be livid. She's always had a soft spot for the goths."

"Doesn't that just mean you have a soft spot for the goths too?" Nui questioned.

"Well... not really. No! You see when Lana denied me I became my own being. So I'm totally not a unkawai- I mean uncool weeb like her," Anal said while stuttering.

"Hmm..." Nui skeptically hmmed.

"Guys, calm down. Weeb or not she could be a highly valuable member," Elsa said.

"T-thanks. Not that I'm a weeb!" Anal said, relieved. She gave Elsa a "thank-you, you just saved me" face.

So the gang of evil doers left. Even Magolor came along this time as he felt it was important. Luckily for the league, literally everyone knew of their HQ location but nobody bothered to mess with them unless they had to. Everyone begun to toss toilet paper wildly, having the time of their lives. Even Magolor felt happy around them all for once, even if Phosphora and Nui kept tossing toilet paper at him.

Shrek sighed as he remembered his tragic past. Images and thoughts of his beloved Shadow the Hedgehog came to him. Ever since he indulged in thoughts of him, Shrek simply could not get Shadow and the sadness that came with him off his mind.

It was a typical night at the Shrekadow household as Hate to See Your Heart Break by Paramore played. Shrek was up at 2:00 AM, waiting for his love to come home. He had begun to worry. What if he was cheating? Shrek grabbed a beer and chugged it, then another and another. He was drunk off his ogre ass worrying over his love never coming home. He wouldn't just leave him, would he?

The door flung open. Shadow came home, Shrek rejoiced. He walked over with a drunk limp and embraced him. Then anger took him over and he slapped him.

"And where were you all night?" Shrek stammered in drunken tears.

Shadow gulped. "Work got off late tonight. I'm sorry," he said as calmly as he could as he took off his fancy trench coat.

"Really? Were you really working the late night through early morning shift at a store that closes at 10:00 PM? Were you Shadow? Were you seeing that MILF Ragyo Kiryuin again?" Shrek shouted in drunken rage.

"I'm not seeing her. We worked with each other once but that's it. I promise. So get over it," Shadow said edgily.

"You know what it feels like to lose someone you know," Shrek said in monotone voice.

Shadow clenched his fist. Images of Maria came flooding back to him. Oh, how he just couldn't handle reliving the entire process of losing her in his mind. Her being shot to death by the ruthless Mall Cops led by Paul Blaurt. He hated Paul Blaurt and his cronies Pall Blat, Baul Plaurt, Ball Park, Plaurb Darb, and Frank. Those bastards shot her to death as she sacrificed her life to close the elevator door so Shadow could escape.

"Maybe one day, Shadow, you can save Hot Topic..." Maria said in a flashback within a flashback. Shadow rembered crying in the mall elevator as he felt into his pockets. He noticed something that wasn't there before... Korn CDs. Maria gave him all her Korn CDs. Shadow held one of the CDs and he could swear that he saw Maria's face in the CD's reflection but it disappeared when the CD started to fall victim to Shadow's tears.

Yes, all these memories that horrified Shadow. He suddenly felt angry with not just himself for not being able to save Maria, but angry at Shrek for invoking her name.

"Don't ever bring her up!" Shadow screamed.

"Yeah? Well why can't I? Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria!" Shrek shouted as he tossed an empty beer bottle at Shadow. Shadow just barely dodged to the side as he used his Chaos powers or whatever to summon a shield around him.

"DAMN IT SHREK! You drunk bastard! Look at what you're doing to me!" cried Shadow. "I can't take the emotional and physical abuse from you anymore!"

Shrek fell to his knees and rested his head into the palms of his hands. "Then stop making me feel insignificant! Do you have any idea how it feels to be in a relationship full of lies? Just tell me if you're sleeping with her or not!"

Shadow grunted.

"I know I can't satisfy you because of my quickly-ogre ejaculation problems!" Shrek cried. "If you looked for satisfication elsewhere I understand. Just tell me!"

Someone knocked on the door.

"Shadow? You home?" a voice spoke.

Shrek looked up at Shadow in tears and roared at him. Shadow backed up in fear.

"It is her! It's Ragyo!" Shrek shrieked. He got up and walked over to the door.

"Shrek, no! Don't do anything reckless, I can explain!" Shadow pleaded in tears now.

Shrek slammed the door open and screamed at Ragyo so intensely her hair blew black.

"GET OUT OF OUR SWAMP! TELL HER OFF SHADOW. Tell her off right now!" Shrek demanded.

Ragyo grinned with a cocky smile and looked at Shadow with eyes of high expectations.

Shadow exchanged glances with both Shrek and Ragyo as he cried harder.

"Our love is never ogre, Shadow. You know that. You always have..." Shrek said as he was starting to grow sober.

"I'm so sorry Shrek. It's not that you can't satisfy me, it's that you've become a monster on the inside," Shadow said softly as he walked toward the door, pushing Shadow out of the way. It's ogre, Shrek," he said as he grabbed Ragyo's hand and they walked off to Ragyo's car.

"Shadow..." Shrek cried.

"By the way, dear," Ragyo spoke up to Shadow. "I'm pregnant. Looks like you're going to be having another wonderful daughter."

Shrek ran to the fridge to grab more beer.

And that was Shrek's tragic past. After the break up he went through rehab and stayed away from Shadow, eventually meeting Elsa at treatment who shared the story of how she pushed off her sister and family and almost caused a snowy apocalypse or something. Both agreed to help each other make one another stronger...

"Wow, we managed to ruin their surrounding area," Elsa said. "Yet we still have so much more toilet paper."

"Let's go inside," Tingle said. "Kooloo-limpah!"

"Great idea. We could totally fuck with them inside and they would have noticed us by now if they were home. Let's go in!" Nui said.

So they all went inside and the first thing they noticed as a note on a coffee table. There was a drawing of a middle finger on it and some words.

"If you came to mess with us, good job shit-stains. We've likely relocated by the time you've read this. Peace," the note read. It also had some lyrics to some songs by Three Day Grace written on the back in crayon. Red crayon, to be exact. The same color of blood.

"Goddamn it!" Elsa stammered. "Well, looks like we did all that for nothing. However, the fact you did a good, worthy job still remains, Anal. Let's hear it for Anal!"

"Anal! Anal!" everyone cheered continuously.

A jogger was running along on the sidewalk nearby as the sounds of the voices caught his attention.

"Anal! Anal!"

"Jesus Christ," the jogger mumbled before running off.

* * *

**NEXT EPISODE: the league decides to go to the park! and have a picnic. an evil picnic that is! however will this go? probably badly. doesn't BUTT meet up in the park? ooooooooh boy!**


	5. Chapter 5: the gang gets rekt

**THIS TIME ON THE LEAGUE OF SOPER EVIL, THE GANG GETS RECKED. AT THE PARK.**

* * *

"Well gang, it's been a tough week," Elsa sighed. She was sitting at the helm of the Table of Evil. Shrek was in Elsa's usual seat, too emotionally conflicted to be in charge. Elsa was more or less the second leader of the league, as every group these days seemed to have a second leader.

Elsa looked around and examined everyone. Tingle was messing with his thumbs, Phosphora and Nui were gossiping as usual, Metalface was charging in the corner, Dr. Mario was solemnly sitting alone, still saddened by the death of Pichu, Chad was strumming his un-tuned guitar, Shrek looked like a wreck, Anal was just sitting there wondering what to do, and Magolor was actually there, surprisingly.

"Screw it," Elsa groaned. "Let's just go to the park and having a freakin' picnic."

So Elsa made a bunch of PB&amp;Js and packed a bunch of sodas. She piled everything into a large basket and the gang packed up into the Van of Evil. Elsa let Phoshphora drive, as she just recently got her licenses and wanted to put it to use.

Magolor was a little stressed out, though. His entire league was going to the park where the other BUTT members lived. Yes, not only was that bush in the park the meet up spot the gang had, but also where Gaius and Kellam lived. That didn't sound too bad thought as the Big Organization of Brethren had all of its member live in a crowded shrub. Unfortunately for the group, Big the Cat took up over half the space in the shrub, but enough about them. Magolor was worried his league would run into Gaius and Kellam and mock him, and he did not want his peaceful paradise at the park to get taken away from him.

"We're here!" Phosphora cheered from the front seat. Magolor gulped as everyone got out of the crowded van. Magolor quickly ran off to the bush as everyone unloaded the supplies.

"Guys, guys!" Magolor said. Gaius poked his head out of the bush with his face covered in chocolate.

"Wassup?" he asked.

"You gotta hide man, my other gang is here and they'll make fun of us. Just don't come out of the bush," Magolor said.

"Aw, who'll make fun of you?" a voice said from the other side of the bush. Magolor gasped and looked up. It was none other than... the asshole Pokemon, Mewtwo.

"It's you again!" Magolor shouted silently.

"What are you doing here?" Gaius asked.

"Well," the asshole Pokemon begun, "I'm here to take and ruin lives."

"But why?!" everyone in BUTT screamed.

"Because you're all fat scum and must die!" Mewtwo said as he charged up some shadowy ball in his hand and launched it at Magolor.

Magolor screamed and shut his eyes, embacing death. But death never came, only an ogre did. When Magolor opened his eyes Shrek was standing in front of him, shielding him heroicly with his mightly Onionblade.

"Shrek!" Magolor cried.

"Are you okay?" Shrek yelled.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Then run. Now!"

Magolor ran off as Shrek engaged Mewtwo and they begun fist-fighting. Magolor ran back to the other league members in the distance. As he regrouped with them, they asked him what was happening.

"What did you jack up now?" Nui teased.

"This isn't the time! My friends are in danger!" Magolor shouted.

"What friends?" Phosphora laughed.

Magolor growled at them, something he had never done before. They were both taken back, looking at each other in bewilderment.

"Meh, whatever. If Shrek needs us over there, me might as well go," Nui said calmly.

Some of the members broke into a run toward Shrek and the asshole Pokemon while others just walked casually. Magolor trailed behind Chad Kroeger and Elsa, two of the most truly powerful members of the league.

Chad jumped forward and launched some of is ramen-hair tentacles to try and grasp Mewtwo, but Mewtwo jumped back. The asshole Pokemon grabbed Gaius and held him tightly.

"One move, and the fatty gets it," he warned.

"Don't you dare!" Shrek roared.

"Oh, I will. I'll kill this little shit," Mewtwo said very edgily.

"What did he ever do?" Shrek asked.

"He's friends with Magolor who's friends with you assholes. If this harms your league then what other reason do I need? Besides, he's just some fat kid," Mewtwo explained.

Shrek felt a little enraged. He suddenly remembered his childhood and being ridiculed for being overweight. "You fatophobic shit!" Shrek screeched as he launched forward.

"Remember, I have a hostage," Mewtwo warned as he used psychic on Shrek.

"I just want some candy," Gaius cried as he licked some chocolate around his mouth.

"Don't speak out of turn!" Mewtwo yelled as he slammed Gaius against the ground. He charged up a shadowball and held it near Gaius's face.

"RRRRAHHHH!" a voice shouted. It was Kellam's, and he was running up to Mewtwo from behind.

"Kellam! NO!" Magolor cried.

Kellam leaped toward Mewtwo in his heavy armor and landed on him. There was a squish sound and Mewtwo screamed in pain.

"Get this fatass off me RIGHT NOW!" Mewtwo bellowed. He used his psychic to mentally throw Kellam upward. From there, he leaped into the sky and used his special up recovery move to go higher and throw Kellam upward as far as he could, which was pretty damn high. Kellam was incredibly high up, and he was now plummeting at an alarming rate. Kellam begun to scream but was cut off as he hit the ground. His armor shattered and some pieces jammed into his skin, cutting him fatally.

"Kellam!" Gaius and Magolor shouted.

"Okay, I don't know what the hell is going on," Phosphora said as she approached, "but that goth jackass has gone too far, even for bullying someone like Magolor."

"Phosphora? D-do you really mean that?" Magolor stuttered through tears.

"Don't get affectionate, it's just that only members of the crew can get away with humilating you," Phosphora said in an annoyed voice, though some emotion broke through.

Mewtwo grunted for attention and the entire league stared at him.

"Now, I don't want to fight any of you alone," Mewtwo stated.

"Then you'd better leave right now if you know what's good for you," Shrek.

Mewtwo wasn't ready to fight the ogre, not any other member of the almighty league. The asshole Pokemon grabbed Gaius by the neck and ran off with him. Shrek immediately took a run for it and ran forward, chasing him with his great ogre speed.

"Unhand the innocent citizen!" the ogre yelled.

"I thought you were the League of Super EVIL, not justice," Mewtwo retorted as he continued to run and drag Gaius by his throat.

"We may be evil but we're NOT assholes!" Shrek replied. He tossed his Onionblade forward and it ricoheted off the ground and hit Mewtwo. Mewtwo tripped and feel as Shrek ran forward, somehow still keeping his hand around Gaius.

"You make one move and he's gone," Mewtwo said.

Shrek flinched as he heard Magolor call his name from behind, running up to him.

"Please! Save my friend!" Magolor pleaded.

Shrek sighed, dropping his weapon.

"Good," Mewtwo said.

"On what terms are we making our deal?" Shrek asked.

"His life."

Mewtwo then hit Gaius in the face with a large shadowy ball and Gaius's face started burning as he screamed and Mewtwo ran off.

"Gaius!" Magolor screamed. He kept running and passed up Shrek, kneeling over at his friend in pain. "Gaius, please don't die on me!"

Gaius's face was starting to vanish into thin air.

"I'm sorry, Magolor..." he said in great pain. "Please, forgive me..."

"Gaius, you can't just die on me. No, not like this!" Magolor cried. He grabbed Gaius by the shoulders and held him close.

"Magolor, don't cry. Live. Live for me... eat as much candy as you can, and..."

"And what? Tell me Gaius!"

"And... fulfill my dream."

"Your dream?"

"My dream... is to bathe in an entire bathtub of skittles so I can... truly... taste... the rainbow..." Gaius said with his dying breath. His body gave out and Magolor dropped him.

Shrek just started in shock, unsure of what to say. In fact, he felt like he couldn't say anything. He just stood there and felt bad for Magolor. There was far too much death happening lately, and the team felt screwed. Shrek sat down on the ground and sighed. How much more could his group take?

* * *

**Next time on the Lag of Soup Villainy, Shrek and the gang will have to fight a BRAND NEW heroic group, the Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee.**


	6. Chapter 6: the gang fights the FNIJC

**In this endearing new entry of the Lel of Sloppy Injustice, the League of Super Evil shall fight the one and ONLY Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee.**

* * *

"Greetings, Shrek," Yoshi said through the video chat and webcam on Metalface's belly.

"Greetings, uh, master," Shrek greeted awkwardly. He felt weird around Yoshi, even if he worked for him. He felt that Yoshi was too evil, even if Shrek himself was evil.

"I'll cut right to the chase since I know I give you discomfort, Shrek," Yoshi said in a charming yet evil voice.

"...What is it?" Shrek asked.

Yoshi cleared his throat. "I need you to take down the Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee."

"Another group?" Shrek asked.

"Yes," Yoshi affirmed. "Those good doers need to be stopped. They're a righteous hero group who have vowed to put an end to every club bringing any sort of harm upon the world. Which is all of them pretty much."

"So why does my gang have to fight them? Aren't they just gonna go after the goths or something first?" Shrek questioned, being highly skeptical of Yoshi. "Or are you just trying to trick us into fighting someone?"

Then suddenly, a wall in the room blasted open and a bunch of figures emerged.

"That's why," Yoshi stated. "I was just trying to give you a warning, but you had to be all suspicious. Jeez."

Yoshi cut off the video chat and the screen on Metalface went blank. Shrek summoned his mighty onionblade and roared. All of the other league members came running downstairs with their weapons and powers ready.

A man in a red and blue superhero suit walked up from the back of the group of heroes. "Hello, Shrek. My friends and I have been aware of you and your villainous little cronies' actions, but we're here to stop you as we are... the Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee."

"I'm Spider-Parker I mean Peter-Man I mean wait I messed up. I'm Spider-Man, the leader!" Spider-Man said as he did his pose.

"Baymax, your personal marshmellow DEATHCARE servant," a marshmellow robot said.

"Captain America! Better than the actual America!" a man in a blue suit said.

"Oh god, it's a freeaboo," Shrek thought to himself.

"I'm Sora, and my friends are MY power," said someone with spiky hair. Chad Kroeger hissed at him.

"I'm Deadpool, the one whose only in this because he has a conscience and also because he's getting paid!" a man who looked like Spider-Man said as he put one of his hands on his hips and the other behind his head and stuck out his butt. "Feel the love!"

"I'm a literal pile of feces! Because the committee ran out of members to include that aren't already in other groups!" a pile of crap greeted.

Immediately, Spider-Man shot a web at Shrek as the mighty ogre dodged. Elsa shot a blast of ice at Spidey, freezing his hands. Shrek leaped at Sora, seeing him as the most easy target. As he flung himself through the air, Shrek summoned his onionblade. He slashed down at Sora, but Sora shielded himself with his keyblade.

Shrek roared loudly at Sora, who flinched. Doing so, Shrek ripped the keyblade out of the boy's hands and slashed at Sora with his own weapon.

"You can take my weapon, but you can't take my friendship!" Sora screamed. The keyblade magically showed up back in Sora's hand.

Shrek was confused and annoyed at the same time. He shrugged, then continued to whack at Sora with his onionblade as Sora did the same back with his keyblade.

Meanwhile, Metalface was fighting Baymax over on the other side of the room. Metalface poked a sharp robot part thingy into Baymax as he started to release air. I'm sorry I own Xenoblade but never got far in it so I wouldn't know how Metalblade fights. I'd just imagine him having knives or something attached to the ends of his arms. Google shows him with claws so okay let's just imagine him slashing at Baymax. It's very late in my gaming backlog right now sooo.

As Baymax released air, he suddenly posed in a generic T stance like most models do when they're buggy or glitchy, and armor came flying toward him in all directions. He was now upgraded with his armor from the movie which I_ have_ seen before you ask.

_Immortals_ by Fall Out Boy started playing as Deadpool finished chipping off the ice from Spidey's hands.

Magolor latched onto the back of Spider-Man's head and started punching him.

"Only throw punches where you can reach, small-fry," Spider-Man quipped. He grabbed Magolor and threw him off to Deadpool, who whacked him with a bat and sent him flying out of the room.

"Home-run! We make a great team, don't we, love?" Deadpool said as he blushed through his mask.

"No," Spidey said coldly. He web swinged across the room, now targeting Elsa.

"I'm gonna have to... _let you go_," Spidey said. Everyone in the room stopped battling for a second just to cringe at how awful that was.

"Freeze," Elsa said. She blasted ice at Spidey, but he dodged and swung away on a web, only for the web to be cut by Nui with her scissor blade.

This is literally Shitpost: The Fanfiction.

Spidey landed harshly on the ground and as he got up, Nui walked up to him and pointed her blade at him. She lifted it up and was about to slash down on him when Deadpool suddenly got in the way and shielded Spidey with his sword.

"Don't hurt my boo!" Deadpool screamed.

"Goddammit Wade don't call me that!" Spidey yelled as he started to back away from Deadpool and Nui. He bumped into Tingle, who gave him a creepy smile and stared into his soul.

Spidey ran away, until he ran into Dr. Mario and fell backward.

"Mario?" Spidey asked, bewildered.

"No, I'm the doctor," Dr. Mario said as he shoved a pill into Spidey's mouth. He instantly fell asleep. Chad Kroeger walked over and begun to use his ramen hair to suffocate Spidey.

"Spidey!" Deadpool screeched. He pushed Nui back and ran over, pulling Spidey away from the ramen hair.

"Would you rather we kill YOU instead?" Chad mocked.

"Yes," Deadpool said as he tossed Spidey out of the building through the hole in the wall.

Chad Kroeger, though surprised by the answer, did not hesitate to grab Deadpool with his tentacle-hair and snap his head off his neck.

"Well, that was... easy," Chad said with a frown. He felt kind of awkward actually killing someone.

"You'll get over it," Nui said blankly.

Spidey and Deadpool down.

As Shrek and Sora continued to battle, Sora kept lashing away at Shrek, sending him back until he accidentally slipped. He had slipped on Crap.

Crap screamed in pain as Shrek landed on top of him.

"Oh no, Crap!" Captain America shouted as he battled Phosphora and Anal in the corner of the room. "You killed him!"

"Good!" Shrek said with a grin. The he looked up and realized Sora had his keyblade held to his neck and was about to slice at him.

"Yo," Chad said from behind Sora. Sora turned around and looked at him.

"You! You're the guy with the ramen hair!" Sora said.

"That I am, spikey. That I am," Chad said coolly.

They stared at each other, and then suddenly leaped at each other as Sora's hair spiked out and solidified and Chad Kroeger let loose his ramen hair tentacles.

"So that's how you play!" Sora said. He loosened his hair a bit and then spiky tentacles formed and battled fiercly with Chad's tentacles.

Suddenly, Baymax, who had just powered down Metalface, launched a huge blast of energy from his arm cannon at Chad who flinched as Sora took the advantage point of the battle. Then suddenly, a light on Baymax's chest lit up and a mysterious person in a robe was talking.

"The committee must retreat! Advantage or not, retreat right now! Immediate threat at base and Spider-Man is in critical condition. Find his body and leave!" the hooded person said. Everyone looked over and the committee members started running toward Baymax who was preparing to launch into the air.

"Get back here! Fight us!" Shrek hollored as he flung his onionblade. It missed and flew past every member and hit Magolor just as he lifted up above the hole in the wall, falling back down to the ground.

"Goodbye, League of Super Evil. We WILL be back," Captain America said. Then Baymax lifted off and blasted through the roof. "Adios!"

"I thought he was American," Tingle said as he shrugged.

Shrek sighed. "Whelp, even more damages to take care of. Wonderful."

"We'll think of something, Shrek," Elsa said as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Will we, though? It's more than just getting done with our missions. We haven't had a single victory yet and people we don't want dead have died because of us, and... well..."

"Well what? Is there something you're not telling me?" Elsa inquired.

Shrek frowned and walked away.

* * *

**OH NO! WHat will the league do next? What about the superheroes?! This is saddening. Find out next time on THE LEGEA FAEfODf SUPER EVEIVL!**


	7. Chapter 7: the gang meets deadpool

**in this amazing chapter of the lel of sag errands i want to die because i haven't slept in over 24 hours**

* * *

It was a calm night in the League HQ. All was silent and all was holy, not a sound to be heard. Except in the vents.

You see, during the last battle the league had had, someone had their head chopped off. Poor unfortunate Deadpool.

Was he unfortunate?

After all, Deadpool can just regrow body parts. He can heal and regenerate. I'm not makin' this shit up.

So Deadpool managed to roll his decapitated head into the vents of the building when everybody was out of the room. Luckily nobody had bothered to toss his head out the giant hole in their HQ's wall. So Deadpool waited hours in the vent until his body regrew. At the crack of dawn, he broke through an opening and landed in a room. He looked over at the figure lying in the bed.

"Ah yes, Fairyboy. This should be FAIRY easy. Hee-hee," Deadpool giggled.

As Tingle let out a cute, sleepy yawn as he stretched in bed, Deadpool lifted up his sword, preparing to slash down on his sleepy foe.

"Classic, classic execution," Deadpool said with a grin.

Then Tingle's alarm clock went off. It was the sound the fairies in those fairy fountains make in Zelda games. The screechy, horrifying yells. Yeah, that's the one.

Tingle immediately shot up with his eyes wide open. He screamed at Deadpool.

"KOOLOO-LIMPAH!" Tingle shrieked.

"Oh shit," Deadpool harshly whispered. Before he could even jump over Tingle's bed and out the window, the bedroom door flung open and the entire league was there, including Magolor, who was standing in the doorway.

"Move over, tubby," Phosphora said with a laugh, pushing Magolor over as he rolled away and she walked in along with Anal and Nui.

"Before anybody asks, that is a GUN in my pants. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see any of you again," Deadpool greeted.

Shrek entered the room holding a coffee mug. "What the hell are ye doing here?"

"I was here for that tingly feeling, you know?" Deadpool chuckled.

"So basically you were trying to kill Tingle?" Shrek retorted in a deadpan voice.

Tingle was shaking, hiding behind his lamp on his nightstand.

"Yeah, emphasis on the were part. I don't feel like it anymore, because you know who would be more fun to kill? The Friendly Individual Neighborhood Justice Committee. I've planned over at least five ways to off each member, so if you're willing to send a little money my way, I'd gladly join your ranks," Deadpool said. "Plus, I'd be useful. I can't even die!"

Shrek was a bit Shrekptic.

"Well, he did regrow a body overnight. If that didn't kill him, what would?" Elsa shrugged.

"We can't just let some random heathen into our league. What do you think this is, some little goth club? No. We're almighty and powerful. We have standards and we aren't going to fall victim to a measly, idiotic little spy," Dr. Mario vented.

"Chill," Phosphora stated as she put her hand toward Dr. Mario's face.

"So, Deadpool was it? Nice bod you got there," Phosphor said in a flirty voice.

Deadpool lifted off his mask to reveal a scarred face with yellow, pupil-less eyes that almost seemed to glow. There were rashes and craters all over his mug. "Yeah, life is beautiful!"

Phosphora, Nui, Anal, Magolor, and Tingle all screamed. Shrek and Elsa were taken aback, but they weren't ableist assholes so they didn't react openly.

Deadpool put his mask back on. "Believe me, I keep the mask on for you, not me."

"Alright, so if we let you join then what do you want from us in return?" Elsa asked.

"To not kill my boy Spidey. Actually, don't kill Captain America either. He's my hero, and I'm Canadian!" Deadpool replied.

"Well, I could just freeze them and we could imprison them," Elsa suggested.

Shrek shrugged. "That sounds passable. But if you're gonna join us, you need initiati-"

The phone installed to Metalface rang. Shrek clicked the video chat button and Yoshi appeared.

"Greetings, my fellow green friend," Yoshi greeted. "I have a new mission for you."

"What is it this time?" Shrek asked. He gulped a little. Just talking to Yoshi made him uneasy.

"I need you to spy on some girl. She looks like that Shadow guy," Yoshi started to explain. "But she has a scissor sword similar to that other girl in your gang."

The mere mention of Shadow made Shrek want to cry.

"Alright, Yoshi. Understood. Where was she last seen?" Shrek asked.

"Downtown, she was sticking around the dark areas where nobody goes. If you spy on her you may get some useful intel that we could use," Yoshi explained. Then Yoshi just hung up right on the spot. What a vague jerk.

"Alright, Deadpoolio, you heard him. If you wanna prove yourself go spy on that girl. Elsa, keep an eye on him," Shrek said.

Dr. Mario gave him a skeptic look. "Are you serious about this?"

"Things can't get any worse, can they?" Shrek mumbled. He walked off as Nui approached Elsa and Deadpool.

"You know, this mission... interests me. I want to tag along, if that's alright," Nui said.

Elsa was a little suspicious, but she figured it couldn't be too bad to allow Nui to come along.

"Sure, I guess that's alright," Elsa said casually.

So Elsa, Deadpool, and Nui tracked down the scissor girl and she was wandering around the abandoned neighborhood. She was minding her own business, as the three tippy-toed behind her. She was humming a song and stuff. Anyway it got kind of boring as hours passed and the girl did essentially nothing but hum and wander around. It was as if she knew she was being watched so she did nothing. While it confused Elsa, it bored Deadpool, but it bored Nui even more. Eventually, Nui leaped out and attacked the girl, using her own scissor sword.

The mysterious girl suddenly flipped around and guarded herself with her own sword.

"I was wondering when you should come out and play," the girl said in an edgy mocking voice. Edgy.

"You were trying to act all sly but you were really convincing no one," Nui mocked.

"Wasn't trying to," the girl retorted. She sliced away at Nui.

"Nui! This wasn't a part of the mission! Get back here right now!" Elsa shouted.

"Hell yeah! NOW it's getting fun!" Deadpool cheered. Elsa shot him a mean glare and he whimpered a little. "Okay fine, not good."

"Why don't you two just retreat for now?" Nui said as she glanced back.

"I don't care if you personally know that girl but now's not the time to mess around!" Elsa yelled. "Get back here now!"

"Can it," said the mysterious Shadow Anime Girl. She hacked at Nui who started bleeding.

"Hey as someone with a healing factor I can confirm that much blood is bad. Even if you look like some anime girl it's probably not a good idea to just bleed like that," Deadpool said.

"Shut up!" Nui yelled back, slashing back at her opponent.

The two scissor girls started doing some typical anime fight as blood was flying everywhere and destruction was being made as they leaped around the environment.

"UGH," Elsa grumbled. "Of course, nobody listens to me."

Deadpool frowned. "Ehh, guess I could try something."

Deadpool then pulled out a smoke bomb from somewhere I shall not say and tossed it against the ground. He grabbed Nui and Elsa, dragging them against the ground as they retreated to safety.

* * *

"Okay, so Nui went against orders. Nothing new here, but you did get her out safely. I'm a little wary on just letting you in, but ehh, whatever. We kept Anal didn't we?" Shrek said.

Deadpool shook his hand.

"I now declare you an official member of the league," Shrek announced. Everyone cheered and chanted Deadpool's real name, Wade Wilson. But he then hushed the crowd.

"I have some news to share. Now that you've let me into the squad I'm going to let you in on a secret. The Friendly Neighborhood Justice Committee is on its way back. They're all getting upgrades. They'll be on their way in no less than a day and I'm going to help you stop them."

* * *

Meanwhile at the secret base of the Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee, there was a tall handsome figure with an eye patch. It was Nick Fury.

"Alright, you guys. As a group funded by SHIELD, due to your recent setbacks you shall be given suitable upgrades."

Captain America was injected with a serum that enhanced his already amazing abilities, Spider-Man was given an iron costume made by Iron Man himself, and Baymax was being upgraded to Baymax 3.0, titled "Baemax". Two figures were standing in the doorway. One large and rotting, the other muscular and tall. One was a large pile of crap and the other was Deadpool, but with half his costume black and orange.

"Say hello to the Great Mighty Poo and Evil Deadpool. Our two new recruits."


	8. Chapter 8: the gang does that thing

**hi sorry this chapter is bad i kinda rushed it **

**i literally introduced myself to some college counselor dude while touring a local college as "Sleep Deprived Dan" i think that tells you about how im doing lately**

* * *

"Alright, so let's go over this again. Tell me all of your plans on how to slay each member of the Friendly Neighborhood Justice Committee," Shrek begun.

"Well, you see-" Deadpool started but Shrek spoke up above him.

"You know what? If it involves waiting for them to come here, then just forget it. I think we should take the fight to them for once. We always tend to sit around and wait for our enemies to strike us, I'd say it's our turn now."

Then suddenly a bunch of people flew in through the hole in the wall the Friendy Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee had made a chapter or two ago.

"We're back," announced Captain America.

Captain America, Spider-Man, Baemax, the Great Mighty Poo, and Evil Deadpool.

"What the HELL?" Deadpool thought when he saw his clone. "Are you supposed to be m- wait, that's right. Yeah, old body, grew a new head, new mind. Gotcha."

Evil Deadpool grinned. "Yes, I am merely a clone. I'm equally sexy, but twice as evil!"

The rest of the league came running to the room, ready to fight.

Before anyone could make a move, Baemax shot out missiles that tracked everyone down.

"Watch out!" Chad Kroeger said. He shot out his ramen hair and latched onto all the missiles, tossing them back toward the villains.

"Not so fast," a familiar voice said.

It was Sora, Chad's greatest rival.

"Sora!" Chad said.

"Let's finish what he started lst time," said the Disney-anime boy.

Both Chad and Sora unleashed their deadly tentacle hair, with the members of their respective groups taking cover.

The hair tentacles battled one another in the forms of snakes, harshly hitting against each other and swallowing each other whole.

As this happened, Spider-Man crawled across the wall and jumped down on Shrek, using his spider-strength to try and snap Shrek's neck.

"Shrek!" Elsa cried. She shot ice toward Shrek and Spidey, freezing them.

"What the hell, Elsa?" Anal asked.

"Yeah, it wasn't the best idea to freeze Shrek as well, but it's still an idea," she replied.

Sora then screamed. Everyone looked over as his hair was being pulled off his head.

"How the hell are you doing this?" Sora screamed.

"Haha," Chad giggled. "I made some ties mid-battle. Time for a haircut!"

Then, rather than Sora's hair coming off, his entire head came off.

"Now you've done it! You've killed a true soldier!" Captain America said. He leaped toward Chad and pushed him dow, relentlessly beating him up.

Metalface and Dr. Mario ran forward to attack, but Baemax got in the way, engaging battle with them.

Deadpool leaped toward Capt, but Evil Deadpool knocked him down and starting occupying him.

"Magolor, do something!" Phosphora commanded.

Magolor just sat in the corner and cried.

"Ugh. Guess we gotta do something then," Nui said. As she and Phosphora started to run toward Chad and Captain, the Great Mighty Poo suddenly shielded them.

"Nope. I can't let you do that," he sung.

"Holy shit!" Phosphora and Nui said in unison.

The Great Mighty Poo then absorbed the two girls and trapped them within.

Elsa stared in disgust and disbelief.

"Come on Anal, let's do something," she said as she began charging an ice shot.

"Wait!" Tingle said. He got between Elsa and Anal and the poo. "Let me try something!"

Tingle stared the Mighty Poo in the eyes. "Kooloo..." he said timidly, staring into the eyes of the shit. "Lim-limpah!"

The poo just laughed and grabbed Tingle, eating him.

"Have any plans?" Elsa asked Anal.

"I can use my weeb spell book. I don't think anybody will notice me being a weeb with how busy they are fighting," she suggested.

"Or I could freeze the GMP, which might harm everyone inside, too," Elsa said. "Let' ask Sh- oh, yeah."

"You unthaw him while I keep this piece of shit at bay!" Anal said. She ran toward the poop and started battling it fiercly.

Elsa ran toward Shrek and began chopping the ice with a piece of debris from the busted wall nearby that had a giant hole in it. She made sure to be careful and to only free Shrek and not Spider-Man. She got his head free.

"Are you okay?" Elsa asked in panic.

"Never. Freeze. Me. Again," Shrek said, gasping for air.

"Elsa, hurry up," Anal shouted from the other side of the room.

The Great Mighty Poo begun to sing his song.

"I AM THE GREAT MIGHTY POO AND I THROW MY SHIT AT YOU~"

Elsa started chopping ice faster and faster.

"Be careful! I don't want to bleed!" Shrek said.

"It's just a little blood. You'll be fine," Elsa said in an annoyed yet calming tone. She chopped down harder and a bunch of the ice broke all at once.

"Oh thank God," Shrek said. He emerged from the rest of the remaining ice and pushed aside the frozen Spider-Man.

Shrek looked around the room and saw all his allies being beat up.

"Dammit, not again," he mumbled.

"What's the plan?" Elsa asked.

"Free up everyone and escape," Shrek said. He ran toward an unexpecting Captain America and grabbed him, throwing him off into the distance.

"Thanks Shrek," Chad said as Shrek helped him up.

"No problem," Shrek said. "Help out Deadpool."

Chad unleashed his ramen hair and wrapped it around Evil Deadpool, freeing the actual Deadpool.

"Save Phosphora, Nui, and Tingle! They're inside the shit!" Shrek said.

"Ewwwwww," Deadpool whined. He drawed swords in his hands and leaped toward the Great Mighty Poo, slashing his way inside and coming out of the other side with his friends.

"Everybody run! Get to the underground shelter now!"

And with that, everyone disengaged from their battles and ran.

All the present members of the Friendly Neighborhood Justice Commitee chased after the gang, tailing them to the basement.

"Go! Keep going!" Shrek ordered. Everyone sped ahead of him and ran into the elevator that led down to the shelter. Everyone piled in one by one, all but Shrek and Deadpool.

Shrek charged ahead with his eyes closed and released an ogre yell. When he looked forward he didn't see Deadpool though. He stopped running and looked behind. In the center of the gap between him and his foes, Deadpool was lying on the ground on his stomach.

"Shrek! Help I tripped!"

Shrek ran forward as everyone shouted at him, telling him to leave Deadpool behind.

"Grab on!" Shrek yelled. He grabbed Deadpool's hands and started pulling him forward, but then somemthing tugged at him from behind. It was Baemax.

"Let go or face death," Baemax commanded.

Shrek and Baemax both pulled harder as Deadpool screamed.

"Just let me go! I may not be able to die but I can still feel pain!" Deadpool yelled.

"We're not giving up yet!" Shrek yelled.

He pulled forward, Baemax pulled back. Suddenly, Deadpool ripped in half.

Shrek screeched and let go of Deadpool, running back to the elevator.

"I'll never forget you!" Deadpool cried as Baemax grabbed both of his ends and put him back together.

"You're coming home, Deadpool."

After exiting the elevator, Shrek and his comrades entered a super guarded shelter and lamented the loss of another ally.

* * *

Later, in a prison back at the Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee base, Deadpool was laughing to himself.

"Haha, did those suckers really fall for it? Like I'd REALLY trip! They just let me back into their base. A prison ain't gonna hold me down! Hell no, not with THESE tools! I have so many weapons; guns, grenades, knives-all kinds of things best kept out of the reach of children. I have such a variety tucked into so many dark and moist places I don't even know what to do with them all! I'm not gonna be in here for long, nor are these chumps gonna be alive for long."

* * *

Back at the small shelter the league was cramped inside, Magolor noticed something on Shrek's back.

"Hey Shrek," he said.

"What is it?" Shrek replied.

"You have something on your back. It looks like a note," Magolor said.

Shrek reached behind his back and removed a piece of paper. He read what it said on it and grinned.

"Perfect."

* * *

**wow that was wacky**


	9. Chapter 9: the gang FIGHTS BACK

**hi**

* * *

"Okay everyone, gather up. I have an announcement!" Shrek said with gusto. He plopped down onto a small tiny chair, then he motioned everyone over to a small coffee table. Despite being a small emergency shelter room, the bunker downstairs had backup planning supplies. And many expired canned goods.

Everyone crowded around the small coffee table. Magolor got pushed to the back as Elsa stood right next to Shrek with her hand on his shoulder, Dr. Mario to Shrek's left hovering over him. The other tall and important ones surrounded the table as well, looking down at a paper Shrek had.

"That sneaky bitch," Dr. Mario said. "He left us a note on how to break into their base? I can't believe it."

"I guess he's a lot smarter than we give him credit for," Phosphora chimed in.

Shrek started examining and studying the map of the Friendly Neighborhood Justice Committee's HQ. He saw a red crayon trail lead into and detail a secret underground path that went into the bowels of the headquarters, then showing how to get into the vents via green crayon. There was more mapping on the other side of the paper and it detailed every branching vent path in glorious pink crayon.

"Justice Committee," Shrek begun. "Prepare to get Shrekt!"

The gang snuck through the night and arrived at the outskirts of the Friendly Neighborhood Justice Committee base. Shrek searched around for a specific bush that Deadpool's note pointed out. He lifted it up, a tunnel revealing itself.

"Alright, in, one by one," Shrek said. Magolor hopped in first, followed by everyone else except for Elsa and Shrek.

"If anything happens, escape. Don't wait on me," Shrek said.

Elsa looked at him seriously. "I'm not leaving you behind. I'm strong enough to protect myself and strong enough to protect you."

"It's not about you being weak; you're strong. But if I go down in combat you're the only one I can trust to keep the group apart. Please Elsa, just get out while you still can if anything bad happens," Shrek pleaded.

Elsa thought for a moment, gazing away from Shrek and staring at the ground. "Okay, I promise."

And with that Shrek and Elsa crawled into the hole. Shrek grabbed the bush and pulled it back over the hole.

The league emerged into a series of tunnels. Shrek recognized the outline from Deadpool's surprisingly well-made notes from before.

"We just gotta take a left," Shrek said.

And then there was clapping.

"Nice job, I knew you'd all be here," a voice said.

Deadpool was standing there with his arms crossed, leaning against the dirt walls of the tunnels.

Shrek and Dr. Mario watched as everyone approached Deadpool. Shrek pulled out the note from before that showed the maps of the vents. One of the trails led to a room with a Deadpool head drawing that said "meeting point."

Dr. Mario observed the meet up directions and the Deadpool before his very eyes.

"Wait! That's not Deadpool, it's that half-baked clone!" Dr. Mario warned.

Everyone jumped back and ran away, screaming.

"No, don't run away! Pin him down before it's too late!" Dr. Mario snapped. He hit the palm of his hand against his face.

Anal, Phosphora, and Nui quickly attacked Evil Deadpool.

"Don't slice him in half! He'll just regenerate more parts again!" Magolor yelled.

"Don't tell me what to d- wait that's actually good advie," Nui replied.

Shrek hmmed. "Well, if we can't kill him and we can't leave him unattended, what do we do?"

"I could just freeze him," Elsa suggested. "But it wouldn't last."

"I'll stay back and watch him," Magolor offered. He just really didn't want to go on with the gang to fight everyone.

"No way, he'd escape in no time if you stayed back. Nui and I shall stay back," Phosphora said. She then sat down on Evil Deadpool to hold him down.

"Get off of me, you teen blonde white girl stereotype!" Evil Deadpool commanded.

Nui sat down next to Phosphora as they pulled out their phones and started showing each other stuff on Vine and Twitter.

"Alright, so now what?" Chad asked. He flipped his beautiful ramen hair.

"Well next we should probably meet up with Deadpool. He's probably been waiting for us forever, so we shouldn't keep him waiting," Elsa said.

The gang then continued to move on, traversing the caves until they came across the path that led into the vents. They crawled through and followed the path Deadpool had drawn leading to his cell. Everyone dropped into Deadpool's cell.

"Wow! It's about time you all showed up! I got so bored I almost died. Speaking of me dying, did you guys know that the final issue of my series just came out?" the merc with a mouth greeted.

"Your what? I'm so lost. But anyway, we're glad to see you're safe," Elsa replied.

Deadpool shrugged. "Ehh, it doesn't matter. That canon doesn't affect me here!"

Shrek didn't think much of what Deadpool was saying, but he was ready to get down to business.

"So just to make sure; the plan is to crawl through the vents and take them all down one by one?" Shrek asked.

Deadpool wrapped his arm around Shrek. "Yup!" he said cheerfully. "Staring with Spidey and Capt. We're gonna turn the latter into a Capsicle!" he said as he glanced at Elsa.

Elsa returned the look and gave him a confident look while charging up some ice in her hand.

"Alright well let's just get out of here now. This place is cramped and I hate it!"

* * *

Meanwhile, a big giant piece of feces was humming to himself.

"Ah yes, they think nobody is aware of their presence," the Great Mighty Poo said. "Little do they know that eye patched fellow warned me they might try the vents. Guess I'd better be on my way..."

The Great Mighty Poo then silenced himself as he embarked out the doorway and kept his ears open for noise above...

* * *

Deadpool led the way into the vents and helped pull everyone in one by one. They crawled through, maneuvering carefully so not to make noise. Lest they alert their foes not just of the fact they're in the vents, but where they are in the vents. Eventually, they reached an open hole that was just above a room where Spider-Man and Captain America were training.

"We'd usually show up here every night," Deadpool whispered. "The three of us were workout buddies!"

"Well don't you see nostalgic," Chad mumbled. He manipulated his ramen hair to open the vent, then haphazardly tossed the vent guard aside and jumped down.

Spidey and Captain America looked directly over at him. Spidey acted quickly, turning around to shoot a web at a button on the wall labeled "Emergency", but Chad whipped his hair forward, tied it around Spidey, and pulled him back.

"Who wants to die first?" Chad said. He started to tie another ramen noodle around Captain America's nice muscular neck and slowly close in on it.

"Waaaaaaait!" Deadpool shouted as he dropped down. He drawed forward swords in both hands. "Don't kill them! They're supposed to be captives!"

The rest of the League members jumped down swiftly, landing like a bunch of badasses in various poses.

"I don't get the point. Why not just kill them?" Anal asked.

"Because Spidey and I have something special, and because the other is CAPTAIN AMERICA! Nobody can just kill Captain America, everybody loves him! Even I do, and I'm Canadian!" Deadpool yelled.

"Yeah? Well he's not even that cool. What's so cool about some random American soldier?" Anal retorted.

"Some random American soldier? Look who's talking, weeabo! You look like you're cosplaying a scene phase Hatsune Miku! ...Not that I know who Hatsune Miku is, that is," Deadpool snapped back.

Shrek tensed up a bit inside. The last thing he wanted was allies fighting on a mission. Though in their defense, Shrek never told Deadpool that Anal is a secret closet weeb and is highly offended when people point it out. He should have probably told him.

"WRRRRRRRRY" Anal shouted in an anime way. She leaped at Deadpool at an amazing speed, but Dr. Mario got in between them and held out pills in both hands.

Deadpool's sword hit one of the pills and came to an abrupt stop as Anal's face slammed against the other.

"There's no time for this bull. Stop fighting. Doctors orders," Dr. Mario stated in a monotone voice.

Deadpool and Anal backed away from the doctor and each other, crossing their arms and turning their backs to one another.

"Thanks doc," Shrek said.

"You're welcome. While I'd agree with Anal though, hostages may not be so bad. We could use them resourcefully..." Dr. Mario said cryptically.

Shrek gulped as he felt a small shiver. Dr. Mario seriously creed him the heck out.

"Okay, hostages they are. Now can Chad let them go before they suffocate so I can freeze them?" Elsa said.

Chad looked back over at his hostages and realized they were both dying. He blushed, then let go of them immediately as his hair shortened to its usual size.

Elsa shot some ice toward the duo, freezing them effectively.

"I'll stay here and make sure they stay this way," she said.

Shrek walked over to her and held her hands. They stared each other in the eyes before kissing.

"Be safe," Shrek said.

"I will."

And with that, the rest of the gang left Elsa behind.

They wandered around the base for about an hour looking for the GMP, whom wasn't where Deadpool expected him to be. They were now on the second story

"Who else do we have now, ogre?" Tingle asked.

"Well," Deadpool spoke up as he talked over Shrek. "We still have the giant crap. And the baebot."

"Speaking of which, I wonder where the giant crap is..."

* * *

Back on the first story, Elsa was watching her captive foes in a bored manor. She made sure to refreeze the two heroes whenever the ice seemed to start melting. It got very repetitive and tedious to manage. She longed to be back in the action with the rest of the team. Hell, even gossiping with Phosphora and Nui would be better than this.

And then she got hit from behind. She tumbled forward and did a few rolls forward before she caught herself and turned around. The Great Mighty Poo was there.

"You!" Elsa shouted.

"Me," the GMP said matter-of-factly as he pointed at himself.

The GMP shot forward a stream of, well, uh.. yeah and Elsa dodged.

"That's fine, stay away," he said. He started bubbling as he shot blasts toward Captain America and Spidey, who's ice started to melt.

"Dude, you freed us!" Spidey said.

"Thanks solider," Captain America thanked.

"Yes, now we can kill her," the GMP said.

Elsa gulped.

"Kill her? Are you crazy? We can't just kill someone!" Spidey shouted. "Remember the code? Remember what Fury said? No death unless completely warranted!"

"Seems justified to me," the GMP said.

"She may be our enemy," Captain America begun, pulling out his shield, "but we shall not kill her for being such. Not after she willingly agreed to spare us rather than kill us when she and her group had the chance! We'll gladly fight for her if she's the one in danger!"

The GMP laughed. "Yeah, sure, you all do that. Prepare for some big shit."

Elsa, Captain America, and Spidey prepared to fight.

Elsewhere, Shrek and the rest of his comrades began to fight Baemax...

* * *

**Be ready, viewers. The next episode will be intense.**


	10. Chapter 10: the gang FIGHTS BACK pt2

**welcome to this new chapter of the leg of sore egg**

* * *

"Ah, glad we've settled that already. It wasn't as intense as we thought," Shrek said as he swiped some sweat off his forhead.

Chad kick aside a piece of Baemax. "That was very anticlimatic indeed. Now what are we to do?"

And then a scream erupted from down stairs. It was Elsa's voice.

Shrek instantly perked up. He looked around in panic. He couldn't seem to find the path they had taken to get where they were.

"Come on, I know a shortcut! It's the elevator!" Deadpool said. He ran off, everyone following behind shortly.

"Hold on Elsa, we're coming," Shrek said under his breath.

* * *

Magolor was sitting down and waiting for his friends to come back. And then he started to hear giggles from behind. He immediately turned around and saw Phosphora and Nui laughing about something on one of their phones.

"Oh my God, please send that image to me!" Phosphora said.

Magolor's suspicioun was evoked. He stood up then walked over to the two gossiping gals. "What is that?" he asked.

Magolor noticed both of the girls flinching as soon as he had asked. Something was up...

"Oh, well, you... you wouldn't want to see..." Phosphora said awkwardly.

Magolor felt upset on the inside, but he kept his cold, serious glaze on the two girls. "I'm not joking around. What is it? Let me see."

"We're not mocking you," Nui assured. "But you really wouldn't want to see this."

"Let me see, dang it!" Magolor shouted.

Phosphora and Nui looked at each other for a brief moment, then Nui handed the phone to Magolor.

"Just don't scroll through my photos. You really wouldn't wanna see anything else, even compared to this," Nui warned.

Magolor tensed up on the inside. He saw an image of Gaius's face badly edited onto crude, insulting art at his expense. Magolor swiped to the next photo despite the previous warning. It was a picture of Skittles photoshopped into an image of Gaius's grave.

"I said not to scroll!" Nui shouted. She leaped at Maglor who narrowly dodged. He started running while holding the phone out into his hands. He swiped to the next image which appeared slightly blurry due to his tears. It was an image of Kellam standing on a scale and tipping it.

"She told you that you wouldn't want to see it!" Phosphora yelled. She was still sitting on Evil Deadpool to keep him down.

"How could you laugh at stuff like this?!" Magolor cried. He swiped to the next photo, and the next. He kept swiping through Nui's phone gallery and saw an image of him, Kellam, and Gaius photoshopped into rude pictures. And then he came across a naughty image of a shirtless guy.

Nui grabbed Magolor and ripped her phone out of his hands.

"Oh man, now THAT was entertaining!" Evil Deadpool chuckled.

Phosphora punched Evil Deadpool, and gave him a mean glare.

"What? You were laughing too!" he bickered.

Nui went back over to Evil Deadpool and took her seat back.

Magolor turned his back to the three of them and started to cry.

"I'll get their respect sometime soon," he whispered. "I will get there respect..."

* * *

Shrek, Chad, Deadpool, Tingle, Dr. Mario, Metalface, Tingle, and Anal all came rushing into the room to find Elsa, Captain America, and Spider-Man all tied up aroud the neck with... well, resources from the Great Mighty Poo. Oh Lord.

"Chad! Free Elsa!" Shrek ordered.

"Wait!" Deadpool yelled. "Free Captain America and Spidey too! Or they'll die!

Shrek sighed, then reluctantly said, "And Captain America and Spider-Man as well!"

Chad nodded and unleashed his ramen hair and used it to break everyone free.

Shrek looked the Great Mighty Poo in the eyes. "So you're going rogue?" he asked.

The GMP laughed. "No, not exactly. I was just given special orders."

Captain American ran over to Shrek and greeted him with a salute. "Where's the rest of my team?"

"Captured or dismantled," Shrek boldly replied.

"I see. I can avenge them later, but for now we must work together. Deal?" Captain America said as he held out his hand.

"Deal," Shrek said as he took the hand and shook it.

The two buff bara hunks engaged the GMP in battle, alongside their allies.

Shrek summoned his Onionblade and slashed at the GMP with it. The gash formed by the blade just healed itself.

"Holy shit! He has a healing factor!" Deadpool said.

The GMP chuckled. "I guess you can call it that."

"Wow, rip-off much? Die!" Deadpool replied. He slashed away relentlessly at the giant poo, but his efforts did not do much.

"Meh," the GMP stated. He swiftly grabbed Deadpool and tossed him against the wall so hard he went flying through it, leaving a path in his shape.

"Damn, this looks bad!" Spider-Man said. "He may always be annoying, but he's also usually competent. Somewhat."

Spidey shot a web at the GMP. "Maybe we can capture it."

The GMP absorbed the webbing and then shot his own type of webs at Spidey, but they just barely missed.

"Ew! Oh my God that's disgusting!" Spidey yelled as he jumped out of the way. "I REALLY need to rethink this mask thing because I think I'm about to puke."

"Ugh, I think I've had enough of this," Elsa said. She started shooting a ray of ice toward the GMP.

He started to chill off a bit and stiffen.

"No! Stop!" he yelled.

"Attack him as he solidifies!" Shrek ordered.

Then the screen was filled with stylishly placed images of the entire party as they ran toward the GMP and a bunch of wacky sound effects played. A cloud of dust surrounded the GMP as everyone ran away.

"He's in pieces," Dr. Mario observed as the dust cleared.

"Yes! Evil giant poop man is dead!" Tingle cheered.

And then the pieces started to reform.

"Are you kidding me?" Elsa shouted. "How are we supposed to kill him?"

Then the building started to warm up.

"Does anyone else feel that? Or am I just getting too worked up?" Chad asked.

"I can confirm an increase in temperature," Metalface said. He printed out a recipt showing the temperature and a forecast for the next seven days.

Shrek took a look at the slip. "It's nearing 100 degrees fahrenheit!"

"Oh my God!" Chad shouted. "Wait, who uses fahrenheit? How much is 100 degrees fahrenheit in celsius?"

Shrek gulped as he started to sweat. Fire started to erupt all over the building. "It's nearing 200 now!"

The GMP started to melt into a goop.

"Just because I'm a goopy mess now it doesn't mean I can't still kill you!" he yelled.

"Or does it?" a voice said. Deadpool entered with a small remote control in his hand.

"What is that?" the GMP asked. "I can't even see you from where I'm melting."

"Oh, nothing," Deadpool begun casually. "Just a button that activates the sprinkleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!"

Before the GMP could even verbally react, Deadpool pressed the button. Water blasted all over the room from above. The GMP screamed as he began to dissolve and sink into the drain in the middle of the room.

"No... NO!" the GMP yelled. His voice cut off as he sunk.

"I hope he tells Nemo I said hi. Now let's get out of here!" Deadpool shrieked.

"Right. You lead the way, I sure as hell don't know my way around this place," Shrek said.

Deadpool then ran with his colleagues and enemies following. They followed him through the fiery, hazardous rooms and into a vent where they crawled back to the original entrance point of the League.

"Guys! It's burning down here! Thank God you're finally back," Phosphora said.

Shrek just wiped sweat off his forehead as he gasped for air. "You don't know the half of it. Knock out the captive and start carrying him out of here."

"Hey!" Evil Deadpool chimed in. "You can't just kidnap m-"

Phosphora then smacked him in the face as hard as she could. He fell asleep like a baby.

"And I suppose this is where we turn against one another?" Captain America said.

"Yeah, I suppose it ice," Shrek said.

"Ice?" Captain America asked, confused.

"Ice," Elsa stated. She blasted Captain America and Spidey, freezing them.

"Ooh! Can we keep them? Please let us keep them!" Deadpool begged.

"Once we find out where the hell to go next, we'll think of something," Shrek replied. "We'll think of something."

* * *

that was cray cray! what's going to happen next? find out next time when the league returns soon! next chapter shall be posted very early compared to the usual schedule!


	11. Chapter 11: Shrek Flashback II

**Hey y'all! This is another flashback chapter detailing more of Shrek's past with his former love, Shadow the Hedgehog. It sets up the basis of the next few chapters as well**

* * *

Shrek and his lovely, well, not so lovely because they were all evil, selfish, and rude (minus Magolor and Elsa probably. Also Deadpool seems pretty nice so far) league were sitting around at a beach.

"Shrek dear, you've taken us to the beach. Now what?" Elsa asked. She was the only one near him as everyone else was off minding their own business. Magolor and Tingle were burying Deadpool under sand while Phosphora, Anal, and Nui made sand castles. Chad was off strumming a guitar and sitting on a log while staring down at the sand. Elsewhere, Dr. Mario was tinkering with Metalface.

Off in the distance sat a frozen Captain America, Spider-Man, and Evil Deadpool. They were in ice blocks that covered their entire body, except for Captain America. His head was free and he could talk.

"Odd how we're all at peace right now after everything that recently happened to those other groups. I don't even know why we're doing this, it doesn't feel right," Shrek said solemnly. He sighed, sinking back and plopping down onto the sand. His lover sat down next to him.

"Our goals are important to reflect on, but you didn't answer my question. Why'd you take us here?" Elsa asked again.

Shrek looked at her and wanted to give her an answer, but he couldn't give her a real one. "To relax and take a break," he half-lied. While he led everyone to the beach because he had no idea where to go, it's true the group had been through a lot lately, but Shrek felt as if they didn't warrant a break. The only two who deserved breaks were Magolor and Dr. Mario, but the latter wouldn't even let himself take a break even if Shrek ordered him too. Poor doctor and space egg, losing their friendships and partners.

Shrek thought back. After all the changes he could sense that were soon to come, he decided now would be a good time to have a flashback...

* * *

_Shrek stood in line with Shadow, holding hands as they awaited the line to die down so they could talk to the person at the desk. They were on Tortimer Island for vacation. They were going to stay at a lovely resort for a few days and have a romantic time._

_"You packed all my KoRn CDs? Right?" asked the edgy hedgy. "I need my KoRn CDs or we'll have to go back."_

_"Aye lad, I packed them," Shrek assured his hedgehog boyfriend._

_"Good," Shadow stated._

_Shrek adored how Shadow had an emo, mysterious side to him. While he sometimes found it hard to take such a small adorable thing seriously, the tough vibes Shadow gave off also enticed Shrek in a serious manner._

_The line kept dying down until Shrek and Shadow got to the desk._

_"Hello, I'd like to rent a room for my boyfriend and I," Shrek said._

_An old wrinkly turtle looked at both of them and made a weird face. Shrek felt bothered by it, but did his best to ignore it._

_"What type of room?" asked the turtle. "We have Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Resort Experience rooms."_

_"Well we've saved up for an Resort Experience room," Shrek said. He pulled out his Visa Credit Card. It had an adorable picture of Donkey-Dragon babies on it, reminding him of his good old friend back home, Donkey._

_"Sorry, we're out of Resort Experience rooms," said the turtle. He said it coldly in a rude way._

_Shrek frowned, but Shadow patted his back. "It's okay," said the emo hedgehog. "Resort Experience is over priced and too mainstream prep anyway. We'll just take a Gold room."_

_"Gold is out too," the turtle said._

_Shrek felt himself tick inside._

_"Give us a Silver then," Shadow said._

_"Sorry, I'm afraid that's no use," the turtle replied._

_Shrek slammed his fist down on the desk._

_"Then give us a damn Bronze!" he yelled._

_The turtle stepped back, then grinned widely._

_"Sorry, no rooms left. We're all booked!" he said with his crackling, dry voice._

_Shrek hated him. Just hearing him talk now made him steam with rage. Shadow tried pulling Shrek back, but Shrek pushed him aside. That was one thing Shrek did not like about himself; he knew he had anger issues and that they hurt people around him, but he could almost never control it. It always made people calling him a monster make him feel even worse._

_"Listen here, turdle. You are going to give us a room even if you have to kick someone out! I saw the face you made when you first saw us, and I know you're just messing with us because you want to! Do you think it's okay to do this because I'm just some big ol' Ogre who doesn't having feelings? Are you repulsed by us for some bigoted reason? Give us the highest quality open room you have right this instant or I will take you to court!" Shrek yelled._

_The turtle backed away futher, showing cowardice with his shaking body._

_"Threaten me like that again and I'll be the one taking someone to court," the turtle snapped._

_"I only threatened to take you to court. I never implied I'd physically bring harm to you," Shrek spoke calmly. "Now give us a room or you'll be sued."_

_The turtle grumbled, then walked back to the desk and flung open his book. He had Shrek and Shadow both sign it._

* * *

Back in present time, everyone except for Shrek, Elsa, and Chad began to gather around Captain America.

"Come on Capsicle, tell us a story!" Deadpool pleaded.

"Yeah! Story time!" Tingle and Magolor copied.

Even Anal, Phosphora, and Nui began chanting. Dr. Mario just stood there with Metalface, not saying anything but looking interested.

"Fine! I'll tell a story, and don't call me Capsicle!" Captain America yelled.

"Okay, CAPTIVE America," Deadpool said.

"Don't call me that either!" Captive America yelled in reply.

Magolor, Tingle, Phosphora, Nui, and Anal then started chanting the nickname in unison.

"Gah! Stop chanting that and I'll tell you all a story!" he shouted.

Everyone quieted down as Captive America glanced around. He looked out into the ocean and gazed at the beautiful sunset. He saw an island in the distance and it brought back a flurry of memories.

"Ah yes, it happened a long time ago," Captive America begun. "I was back at an island resort. I was sent by Nick Fury to investigate it. Apparently there was an evil group of employees there, including the person in charge there. He was some homophobic asshat and denied people service for their sexual orientations."

"Wow, what an ass. I mean we're all evil people but at least we're not bigoted," Anal said.

"Yes. Truly the evilest scum are those who shun others for who they are," Captive America said.

"Yeah! That's just messed up, ruining people's happiness because of who they are! You're only supposed to ruin their happiness because you're evil!" Magolor said.

Phosphora was about to say something to mock him, but she stopped herself because the context would make her seem like a jerk.

"As I was saying, I had to go undercover in order to find out what was really going on. I went there with my ally Tony Stark and we posed as a couple to see if the rumors were true, and sure enough they were. We had to abort the mission because it turned out the island was supported by the government, who didn't want us taking it down even though the people who worked there are doing things that are literally illegal," Captive America contined.

"You should have obliterated them. Feckless scum like that doesn't belong in this world. They just keep us from progressing by being dicks to everyone. And this is coming from a mad scientist who wants to enslave the entire world and destory it," Dr. Mario said.

"I never thought I'd agree with a genocidal monster," Captive America begun, "but I agree."

"So is that all there is to the island?" Phosphora asked.

"Well," Captive America said awkwardly. "There was also many secret underground experiments done there. Including a bunch of top secret things I shouldn't be telling you. They do have an entire underground base and defense system there, though. My group always planned to attack there someday to prevent them from carrying out evil deeds. The government truly ruins everything," Captive America continued his story. He seemed angry just thinking about the people on the island.

_Wow. Remind me not to ever go to that island with Spidey_, Deadpool thought to himself. _Not that he'd willingly come there with me in the first place. Damn._

"They have defenses and scientific labs? Hmm..." Dr. Mario thought aloud.

Captive America gave him an upset glare. "I knew I shouldn't have spoken about all their secrets. You're all going to be heading that way now, aren't you?"

"Most likely once Shrek hears about this, yes," Dr. Mario replied with a small smirk. "Besides, what is that ogre doing anyway?"

Everyone glanced toward Shrek who was sitting near the shore with Elsa. He looked deep in thought as Elsa was patting his back.

"Ah, well. I guess I can now tell of the time I fought Nazis in World War II. How does that sound?" Captive America said.

Everyone perked up in excitement. Captive America smiled, then started to recite his origin story.

"It all happened back during World War II, the sequel to World War I," Captive America begun. "I used to be a wimp like you," he said, pointing to Magolor, "and then I got these anchor arms."

"How did you get them?" Magolor asked, so intrigued he didn't even care if he was just insulted.

"Ah yes, how did you get them?" Dr. Mario asked as well.

"Well, I was injected with an experimental serum. Many bad things have happened from people trying to replicate it. It was very one-of-a-kind, and I was lucky to be injected with it. It completely turned my life around and made me who I am today," Captive America continued.

"So are you going to get replaced like you did in the comics or what?" Deadpool asked.

"Wait, what?" Captive America asked.

"Uh, nothing," Deadpool replied.

* * *

_Shrek remembered how he and Shadow were placed in a small storage room. They were given dusty sleeping bags. The closest bathroom was nearly a mile away, in addition to the dining hall at the resort._

_"It's okay. I like this place," Shadow spoke up. "It's dark and quiet in here. It's isolated too, I love it."_

_"Yeah? Well we should be in the most grand room of them all!" Shrek shouted. "You know what's not goth? Letting them restrict us to this cramped storage closet!"_

_"You're acting like a prep with how you're trying to motivate me," Shadow teased, hiding a sense of true annoyance._

_"I'm sorry, but I'm just angry. I want to do something," Shrek pouted. "Let's try some of the food delivery here."_

_Shrek picked up the phone and a menu._

_"Yes, I'd like an Ogre-sized Quarter Pounder Special," Shrek said. "And add a Mocha too. Shadow, what do you want?"_

_"I want Maria back. O-oh, uh, I mean, uh, I guess a Goth Burger," Shadow muttered._

_"Goth Burger too," Shrek said._

_The two then waited for about an hour. Shrek angry, Shadow displeased but mostly bored._

_The door finally flung open with knocking. The turtle was there._

_"Here's your food, but it's cold. You'll have to walk to the dining hall to warm it up. Sorry for the inconvenience," the turtle guy said._

_Shrek was furious. He wanted to devestate the turtle at this point, but he kept himself restrained for now._

_"By the way, we'll throw in a small pay and some free food if you deliver this pizza to the Bronze room along the shore about half a mile up," the turtle said._

_"Sure," Shadow chimed in before Shrek could say anything._

_"Alright," the turtle said to Shadow as he handed him the box. The turtle then walked off and left without another word._

_Shrek and Shadow walked along the shore._

_"See, this is nice. A romantic walk on the beach," Shadow said._

_"Yeah, I guess. At least we're finally at the house," Shrek said. He grabbed the pizza from Shadow and knocked on the door. He knocked and someone flung the door open._

_"Oh, there's my pizza," the guy said._

_"Yeah. That'll be about $5, according to the menu here," Shrek said._

_"Ah, well does that include the drink I ordered?" the guy asked._

_Shrek froze. What drink?_

_"What drink?" Shrek asked._

_"My drink. The one I ordered," the guy said._

_Shrek had seen SpongeBob before and he knew how this was going to go down._

_"I can't enjoy this without my drink!" the man yelled. He slammed the pizza down. Shrek had had enough now, he just broke inside and fell to his knees and cried. The guy slammed the door shut._

_Shadow heared the lock latch shut. He had his eyes on Shrek, whom was crying uncontrollably._

_"That's it. I've tried to make this a positive experience, but I'm utterly disgusted by the shit we've had to face so far," he said under his breath. Shrek turned around and looked at him._

_"I don't usually do this because I'm not some psycho killer," Shadow begun. "But..."_

_Shadow pulled out his gun and walked up to the door. He knocked and the man opened up._

_"What is it you want?" the man asked._

_Shadow held the gun up to the man._

_"You're going to take this DAMN pizza before I blow your DAMN head off. Then you're going to apologize to Shrek, and give us our money for that pizza you wasted!" Shadow said very edgily._

_The man ripped out his wallet and handed it over to Shadow._

_"Just take it! Don't kill me, okay?" he said as he backed away._

_"I've had it with you, you fucking garbage cock! Say sorry to Shrek!" Shadow yelled._

_The fish ran off screaming into his house. Shadow ran after him with his gun loaded and ready._

_"No! I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!" the guy yelled._

_"That's more like it," Shadow said. "He said he's sorry, Shrek!"_

_And after that, Shadow and Shrek completely terrorized the island. They gave into their inner goth and inner ogre-demon respectively, then did as much wreckage as they could to the island. Without actually killing anyone, of course. Shadow may have been a goth and edgy, but he didn't kill innocent people. Also, Shrek wasn't a murderer either. He didn't like killing unless the situation called for such._

_After that, Shadow and Shrek were outlawed from the island for life as they escaped on a small raft. They laughed and enjoyed themselves as the raft floated away, eating their stolen delicious resort food._

* * *

The flurry of both sad and fond memories tore away at Shrek.

"Shrek," Elsa said. The sound of her voice made Shrek snap back to his current reality. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm just tired," Shrek lied. "Very tired."

"Well stop being tired," Dr. Mario said from behind.

"What is it now?" Shrek asked, kind of annoyed.

"You see that island?" Dr. Mario asked.

Shrek looked up, gazing out into the ocean. He saw the island. That was it, Tortimer Resort. Shrek's flashback came back to him again. He shivered a bit.

"What about the island?" asked the sexy ogre.

"They have an underground base and labratory. Pretty nifty defense system too. Our group could really use a new base, too. You do the math," Dr. Mario said.

Shrek thought back to the blatant homophobia of the old crotchety turtle, the horrible service, and the general horrible atmosphere of the resort. Hearing that it apparently had the perfect set up for a new base and the idea of terrorizing the island once more sounded promising to him.

_This was it_, he thought. _Things really are looking up!_

* * *

**Wow, I believe that was the longest chapter yet! And also the best one yet! Tune in next time to see the League launch on onslaught on Tortimer Resort and to claim their new base!**


	12. Chapter 12: Island Attack

**Hey guys, this chapter gets pretty violent and intense! Viewer discretion is advised. Also, buckle up. This is the longest chapter yet.**

* * *

Shrek sat back in and relaxed against his seat. Elsa was lying down next to him, using his lap as a pillow. Shrek yawned, shutting his eyes. The ocean breeze was only made cooler thanks to the intense speed of the speedboat he was in.

Dr. Mario, or as Deadpool was now temporarily calling him, "Captain Mario" was captain of the speedboat. He was the front of the ship with Metal Face, who was dispalying a navigation system to the doctor. He was hurrying toward the Tortimer Resort Island.

Chad was strumming his guitar as usual while sitting on the inside of the ship. Next to him, Deadpool sat eating a microwaved burrito. Nearby Magolor was talking to Tingle.

"So, I was just saying we are kinda like friends," Magolor said. He was holding his hands together nicely.

Tingle thought to himself. He looked at Magolor and observed him. "No, even I have standards too. Sorry."

Magolor's shoulders sunk low and walked off as Tingle began to dance around and chant about fairies. Deadpool tossed aside his burrito wrapper and walked over to the little guy.

"What do you say about being a mercenary, Gagglolor?" he asked.

Magolor turned around and looked at him in confusion. "You mean me?"

"Yeah, of course I mean you, Magolpal. That's your name right? I got it correct?" Deadpool asked.

Magolor sighed. "No... that's not my name. But you can call me that."

"Ah, so Magolpal it is," Deadpool said. "So the merc thing?"

Magolor slightly flinched. He couldn't believe a real mercenary was offering to train him. "I-I-I'm not sure. Thanks for the offer, but..."

Phosphora, Nui, and Anal laughed over from a distance.

"Tripping over words as usual," Phosphora giggled.

"What's with the stu-stu-stuttering?" Nui chimed in.

Anal just chuckled a bit, but didn't say anything.

Deadpool clenched his fist and was about to turn around and threaten them, but Magolor ran up to him and stopped him.

"No! Let me defend myself!" Magolor said.

Deadpool looked at Magolor and nodded.

"Knock 'em out," Deadpool said.

Magolor coughed to clear his throat and stood before the three girls.

"Iggy Azaela is trash," Magolor said.

Phosphora, Nui, and Anal all screamed at once.

"Yeah? Well what about all that stupid game music you listen to? That's not even real music!" Phosphora yelled.

Magolor backed up, cowering in fear.

"Y-yeah? Well my music at least doesn't have lyrics like 'woo zimva pffggahha aggr obvaca' or whatever she says!" Magolor said.

"What the hell did you just say about Iggy? Her lyrics are so much more than that!" Nui screamed, pulling out her purple scissor sword.

Magolor then ran off crying and screaming.

Phosphora, Nui, and Anal directed their looks toward Deadpool. He just looked back and shrugged, acting as if he had nothing to do with the situation.

"I'm gonna go remind Elsa to add another layer to our prisoners now. Their ice is probably starting to melt," Deadpool said as he ran out.

* * *

Elsa entered the "prison" part of the boat on the bottom story of the boat. She begun to refreeze the thawing captives, but before she could get to Captive America, Dr. Mario stopped her.

"I need to do something," Dr. Mario said.

Elsa just stood and watched as Dr. Mario poked a needle into Captive America and drew some blood.

"Blast him now," Dr. Mario said as he took the needle out.

"Wait, stop! You can't take my blood! If you try to use that on anyone, things will go horrible wro-" Captive America begged, but got cut off.

Elsa sighed as she froze the soldier. She almost felt bad not for listening. She had a gut feeling she'd regret it.

* * *

The boat started to near the island. As it did, Dr. Mario pressed a button and the entire ship suddenly started to transform. It became a submarine, then sunk below the water. It loomed a few yards down and kept lowering as it got closer to the island. They went like this for about a mile, until the circled around the island.

Dr. Mario called everyone to a conference room in the middle of the submarine.

"We have to sneak in via their secret entrance. Luckily I have a giant murderous weapon, It's basically a large drill. We're going to use it to drill our way into the base they have downstairs that Captive America told us about. Once inside we have to take down absolutely everyone. Leave no survivors," Dr. Mario said.

Shrek felt a cold breeze grace his body. Murder seemed a bit too much. Yes, Shrek and his allies fought to the death in battle, but Shrek himself did not endorse murder. He was never vocal about it, always keeping it to himself. He had wondered if and had hoped that Elsa felt the same way. Other than that, he knew that Magolor and Tingle did not personally kill. Chad wasn't a fan of it either, despite having blood on his hands. Shrek didn't know how Deadpool and Anal felt about it because they had only recently joined, while he knew the rest of his group seemed to enjoy it. Which scared him.

"Shrek, are you listening?" Dr. Mario snapped.

Shrek looked up and at Dr. Mario.

"Oh, sorry. I spaced out," said the distraught ogre.

The creepy doctor then went back to explaining as he grabbed a backpack and started putting supplies into it. "After we work our way through the scientist down stairs we shall work our way up and terrorize the people above. Drive out the people staying on the beach. No mercy."

Shrek's stomach felt sick. Man, did he want to speak up. He was getting ready to drawn the line here. All he had to do was speak and take control, give orders. He was the leader of the group after all, not Dr. Mario. But Dr. Mario was so loyal to Yoshi, it was as if he were acting as a spy for him. Yoshi was expecting killers, he was expecting evil. Shrek knew he wasn't the right person for the job. He forced himself to remain quiet.

"Did everybody get that?" Dr. Mario asked.

Everyone else nodded or gave small verbal indications. Shrek did the same. The ogre could not tell if the atmosphere in the room were truly tense or if he was the only one worried, and that terrified him.

Dr. Mario then went back to the control room and the plan sprung into action. The submarine shook, and then it pressed against the walls of the underground base.

The dril pressed into and penetrated the walls of the secret underground base. Shrek summoned his Onionblade, Elsa began to charge her ice, Chad unleashed his ramen hair, Magolor and Tingle were holding guns, Anal had her spell book, Nui had her sword, Phosphora was charging her electricity, Deadpool was holding way too many weapons in multiple hands, and Metal Face had his claws brandished. Wow I really need to play Xenoblade soon so I can write Metal Face better.

The submarine eventually cut through a hole and the water came seeping in. The doors flung open and everyone came running out. Water flooded the giant underground garage. The water was almost immediately at the feet of Magolor, who was swiftly picked up by Deadpool and placed onto one of his shoulders alongside Tingle. Everyone ran as fast as the could to the stairs that led up to the next room. They busted into an office.

There were five figures sitting around a table, looking as it they were having a meeting.

"Hey!" said a figure in a hazmat suit.

Bang!

Dr. Mario shot the man dead.

Shrek felt a chill.

"Bill, no!" shouted one of the others.

"Do you want to go next?" Dr. Mario yelled.

The figures backed up into the corner as Dr. Mario held them at gunpoint.

"Give up your hazmats right now!" Dr. Mario commanded.

The hostages did so, taking off their clothing, being only in their underwear. Dr. Mario took the hazmats and stuffed them into his backpack.

"We'll be needing these later. Now follow me," Dr. Mario ordered.

The villains piled through the door and ran up another series of stairs. At the top of one flight, Dr. Mario stopped for a moment. He pushed over a bookshelf, and it then slid down the stairs and hit against the door.

"They won't be able to chase us now," Dr. Mario yelled. He started to run and catch back up with his friends. "Now we need to stop at the 1st floor, way at the top."

Shrek was running alongside the chaotic doc. He started to catch his breath while he ran so he could talk. "Why did you have to kill them?"

The doctor laughed. "To show them we mean business, of course! Don't ogrereact now, as you would probably say."

Shrek felt horrified. How could someone show such a lack of concern for the wellbeing of others? Shrek remembered his isolated days. Even at his worst, the harshest thing he would do is push someone off. He would not kill someone.

"Besides," Dr. Mario said, bringing Shrek back to attention, "the other ones are dying too. They're going to drown, hehe."

Shrek felt disgusted, but he just kept charging along with his friends. They eventually reached the door to the first floor. Dr. Mario stopped everyone.

"Why are you holding us up?" Deadpool asked.

"I have to put on my suit," Dr. Mario replied.

Dr. Mario pulled one of the hazmats out and put it on.

"I'm going to create a diversion with Metal Face. Nui, Anal, Phosphora, I want you three to go out and unleash as much bloodshed as you can. Do not spare anything that moves," Dr. Mario begun to elaborate.

Shrek looked over at Phosphora, Anal, and Nui. They all seemed very pleased with their assigned job, which worried him.

"Deadpool, Magolor, and Tingle. Mostly Deadpool. You three slay anyone you can in here," Dr. Mario said.

Shrek could notice a faint frown under Deadpool's mask. Shrek didn't know why, but something about Deadpool's mask always seemed expressive, but this wasn't the time to think about it. Shrek was just glad that his suspicion about Deadpool was false. Deadpool was good at killing, he gloated about his skills. That didn't mean he liked doing it. Magolor and Tingle were both visibly distressed too.

"What do I do?" Elsa asked.

"I need you to freeze the water when it starts to flood. Just about before it reaches the second level," the doctor explained.

Shrek was glad she did not have to kill.

"What do I have to do?" Chad asked.

Dr. Mario looked at him carefully. "We could use your power for the offense, but we really need defense too. I want you to accompany Shrek. He needs to go find and activate the defense mechanism on the second floor. That way he can assure we keep it safe and activated."

Dr. Mario was about to run off impatiently as he usually does, but then Shrek stopped him.

"What is it now? Are you having second thoughts?" Dr. Mario hissed.

"No," Shrek said. "I just think we should declare who we are real quick before we do this."

Dr. Mario looked at Shrek, his annoyance being evident in his looks.

"Shrek, the Ogrely Leader! Wielder of the Onionblade!"

"Elsa, the Snow Queen!"

"Chad Kroeger, Top Ramen!"

"Magolor, the Guy Nobody Likes!"

"Tingle, the Fairy Man!"

"Dr. Mario, Your Worst Fucking Nightmare..."

"Deadpool, the Merc With a Mouth!"

"Anal, a Shadow, the True Self!"

"Phosphora, the Lightning Flash!"

"Nui, the Yangire!"

"Metal Face, the Metal Face."

_In loving memory of Pichu, the Face of Death._

A guitar version of Delfino Plaza began to play as Dr. Mario and Metal Face ran into the 1st floor room and began to relentlessly kill in the office. In the confusion, Phosphora, Nui, and Anal ran past them and climbed out of the entry hole in the ceiling, emerging on the beach. Screams of terror tore through the air. Shrek cringed, only being able to imagine what horrors were happening above. He quickly noticed Dr. Mario slip off in the corner of his eye. He disregarded it for now, picking up Elsa and running down to the second floor.

"Start freezing that water. It's getting awfully high," Shrek commented.

"Will do," Elsa replied. She leaned in and gave Shrek a kiss for good luck.

"Come on, you two can get a room later. We have work to do," Chad said. He unleashed his ramen hair, it glowing beautifully. He used it to grab a door and rip it off.

Shrek and Chad ran through, tackling guards. In the room they saw a series of confusing hallways, a maze of some sort.

"You know..." Chad said as he flung people away with his hair while running through the halls with Shrek. "Dr. Mario told us to kill. No mercy."

"Yeah, and I know you don't like to kill except for when you have to, Chad," Shrek said. "Except for that Sora kid. He was awful. Glad he's gone."

"Ehh, he wasn't too bad. I was just worried his hair might rival mine," Chad admitted.

"So we tell nobody about this then? We pick the tossed bodies up and toss them away from the island? Let them live?" Shrek asked.

Chad nodded. Shrek was relieved.

The two kept running.

* * *

Elsa was trying her best to freeze all the rising water, which was hard because it was pouring in from the ocean. She was literally freezing the entire ocean. She kept pushing on because she did notice the water slowing down. Ice was just barely starting to come in eye sight, submerged under the dark coloration of the water.

Then Elsa heard a foot step behind her. She turned around to find a man with a gun.

"Stop right now. Come with me. Either we both live or I live. Come on now," the man said.

"Well this is awkward," Elsa said. "I don't do too well around strangers. Why don't I break the ice?"

A blast of ice struck the man as he quickly pulled the trigger. Elsa froze the bullet in mid air and it dropped to the ground. She then resumed freezing the rising water in the crowded square stair way. The ice started to build up and get much more noticable. Elsa was starting to get tired, though...

* * *

Shrek and Chad eventually came cross a control room.

"Stop."

The two sexy beings turned around to find a turtle standing there.

"What do you two think you're doing?" the turtle asked. He looked at Shrek with a mean glare. "Aren't you that Ogre? The one that got all anal about our services and tried sueing us or something?"

Bad memories came flashing back to Shrek. The horrible memories of the homophobic turtle who denied him services due to his relationship with Shadow.

"For starters, you discriminated me. And get it right! I'm not even homoshrekxual, I'm bishrekxual! Second of all, we have a friend name Anal, but she's not here," Shrek retorted. He summoned his Onionblade and stood in his battle pose.

"Hah! What a sight. Even now an old lonely turtle like me still laughs at your pathetic image. Please, I could have you both down in no time," the turtle boasted.

Shrek started shaking with anger.

"Calm down, Shrek. We don't have to fight him. He's just trying to get the best of you," Chad said.

"What? Why would I intimidate him. I don't want to catch whatever it is he has," the turtle said with his raspy voice.

Chad gave the turtle an angry look.

"Okay dude, not cool. You need to quit while you're ahead," Chad said.

"And now the ramen boy is going to speak up. Why doesn't your ugly ogre boyfriend do so instead? Too busy sucking on those noodles you have?" the turtle jeered.

Shrek and Chad had had enough.

Chad unleashed his magnificent ramen hair and used it to lift the turtle up. Shrek charged at the turtle and sliced him with his Onionblade multiple times.

The turtle yelped in pain.

"Son of a bitch!" the turtle yelled.

"Let go of him," Shrek said.

Chad dropped the turtle and retracted his ramen hair. Shrek then grabbed the turtle, backed up, then ran toward the wall. He bashed the turtle's head in as far as he could. The turtle's head went far into the steel wall, creating a hole for his entire head.

"Watch out man, we shouldn't damage the control panel nearby," Chad warned.

Shrek looked at him with an apologetic face. "Yeah, sorry."

Shrek walked over to the control panel. He clicked on a bunch of options on a digital screen, which caused the sealing to open up. On one side of the opening roof, Deadpool, Magolor, and Tingle peaked over. The mercenary grabbed the two little ones and jumped down.

"The, uh, 'situation' up there was dealt with. Where did doc go?" Deadpool asked.

Shrek and Chad just shrugged. Then the floor started to lift up. An entire large, square-shaped panel just went straight up. The turtle's body didn't take kinda to this as half of it was stuck firmly in the wall. Anyway, it kept going up until the panel situated itself evenly with the sandy beach. Everywhere around were signs of war and blood. Shrek felt sick to his stomach.

"Chad, go free those other people before I activate the shield. Just make sure they get out before Dr. Mario finds out," Shrek whispered. Chad walked over to a hatch on the panel and climbed down to do as Shrek requested.

And that's how the League conquered Tortimer Island, their brand new base. Chad quickly helped all the spared people escape, Deadpool cleaned off all the dead bodies the girls had made, and Dr. Mario activated the defense system. An entire bubble covered the Tortimer Island Base, stopping every missile and weapon in its tracks if they were to dare attack.

However, two things were yet to happen that day.

* * *

Elsa.

Elsa kept freezing the water. She never stopped and kept it up for hours despite her fatigue. Before anyone could remember to check on her again, Magolor walked to the edge of the island to see the sunset through the pretty barrier covering the island and realized the ocean was ice. All of it was ice. The entire ocean was frozen as far as Magolor could see. He panicked and told everyone, though they didn't believe him at first until they saw it themselves. The League ran to check on Elsa and found her passed out on the ground.

They took her to the sauna at the resort, placing her in warm water. She eventually woke up, though in great harm. She quickly passed out again after muttering Shrek's name.

"I'll take her in my care," Dr. Mario promised Shrek. Shrek didn't want to rely on the man he secretly distrusted. He was worried he would try something on her.

* * *

The other thing that happened that night...

Shrek decided he would do it when he was having trouble falling asleep in his bed. He felt isolated without Elsa by his side. Yes, he'd take Shadow over Elsa, but he'd take Elsa over nobody. He didn't like admitting that, though. He appreciated Elsa and he felt awful for always thinking of Shadow around her. But the worries made Shrek think of his other problems, such as his weaknesses. His mortality, how his brute strength had so many human, or rather, ogre restrictins. He wished he was stronger. Not just physically stronger, but mentally as well. Had he remebered Elsa earlier, she likely would have been by his side now. Shrek longed for a way of becoming stronger.

"If only I were like Deadpool. I couldn't even die if I were like him. Hell, even being like Captive America would be great..."

One problem bigger than the others still scared him though. Yoshi. He knew if he crossed Yoshi, the green Barney would come for him. He decided then he'd cut off contact from Yoshi. Yoshi had no idea they were on this island and Shrek intended for it to stay that way.

Shrek slipped off. He looked around the rooms at the Inn. He peaked into Dr. Mario's assigned room, where Metal Face was charging. Dr. Mario was off trying to heal Elsa. Shrek slipped in, nearing Metal Face. He took out his scissors and began cutting cords. Every cord related to Yoshi upgrades and Dr. Mario upgrades, Shrek made sure to cut. Every upgrade was now unfunctional, though Metal Face himself still worked. He shut the robot's opening and started nonchalantly twirling the scissors as he exited the room. He walked across the hall, then took a right turn and almost bumped into Dr. Mario. They were face to face. Shrek swiftly placed the scissors in his pocket.

"Oh, hello," Shrek said.

"Hello Shrek," Dr. Mario greeted. He looked at him coldly.

Shrek was starting to sweat a little.

"Tired, Shrek? I was gonna ask you a favor, but you weren't in your room. Figured you couldn't sleep and went to go do something," Dr. Mario said in a monotone voice.

"Bathroom," Shrek stated.

"Ah, yes. Well I was gonna ask if you could go get me something out of my room quick. It's on the night stand next to the bed," Dr. Mario said. "I need it to help Elsa."

"Alright. What is it?" the ogre asked.

"A small little needled container. It has something red in it, it should help Elsa," the doctor explained.

Shrek turned back to go into the doc's room. He grabbed the container on the night stand and gazed at it.

_Is he trying to do something with her... to her?_ he thought.

Shrek returned to the doctor waiting outside the door to his room and handed him the medicine.

"Thanks, Shrek. I'll be sure to help her. I know how much she means to you," Dr. Mario said in a surprisingly calming voice.

"Okay," Shrek said.

Dr. Mario started to walk away.

"Wait," Shrek said. The doctor faced him. "You better promise me you won't do anything to tamper with her. Just heal her and get her back up to good health. She's only exhausted from over usage of her powers, right?"

"Shrek. I know how much she means to you," Dr. Mario said. He then continued to walk away without a word.

* * *

**Thank God that turtle is dead! Seriously, what a douchebag. Now that we're through that wide load of events, we'll be going into a new arc soon. Also I'm going to pull a HTK and announce some future chapter names!**

**Chapter 13: Solider Serum**

**Chapter 14: Broken Bonds**

**Chapter 15: Never Ogre**

**Chapter 16: Shrek Flashback III**


	13. Chapter 13: Soldier Serum

Shrek awoke in his bed, alone. He always slept in the nude because it was most comfortable to him. However, he didn't like to weird Elsa out, so he had always worn clothes when they slept in the same bed. Of course when he was alone he was going to use his chance to sleep in his preferred state. Shrek got up after lying down half-asleep for moments. Sleep kept trying to hold him down, but he eventally woke up completely. He hopped off his bed and wandered over to his closet. He looked inside. The only clothing he had bothered to take to the new base were a fancy suit and his usual uniform. His usual uniform had recently been torn up in his recent battle.

"Fits my current emotional state pretty well," Shrek said. He put on the torn-up clothing, it revealing some of his ogre muscles through gashes and holes. Shrek didn't care about his degraded clothing. All he could think about was how unhappy he felt. He was surrounded by morons and sadistic villains, and someone he loved but didn't love as much as his past love. He felt guilty for admitting it, but he was so emotionally null now he didn't care. He felt it was better to admit it than hold it back, otherwise it might manifest itself as a shadowy evil version of himself.

Shadow came to Shrek's mind again. Shrek's thoughts just got more and more frequently Shadow-centric.

"Even if he did still love me, he's immortal. I'm not. I'd die with my short ogre lifespan and he'd just have to live with that for his entire immortal life until the apocalypse in the distant future happens. If only there were something that could keep me alive forever or at least for a very long time. If only there was a way I could never die..." Shrek spoke aloud.

"Hey! I think I could help you with that," a voice said.

Shrek looked at the doorway. Deadpool was standing there eating microwaved Mexican food. His mask was slightly up above his mouth a little to get the food in.

"Oh Gods, how much did you hear?" Shrek asked.

"I walked in at 'there were something that could keep me alive forever,' and realized I could probably maybe possibly have a slim chance of helping you out," Deadpool replied.

"What is it? You better not be joking," Shrek said. He wasn't in the mood for jokes right now. As much as Deadpool annoyed him, he also found Deadpool to be quite funny.

"Hey, humor is one of my shticks but I don't joke about serious matters. Especially not when they can affect me. Oh, or my friends, too," Deadpool said.

"Ah, you didn't seem like that big of a douche to me anyway," Shrek commented. "So what is your idea?"

"My blood. You could probably be given my healing factor. That should make you invincibile and unkillable! Hell, throw in some of Roger's blood too and you got strength as well," Deadpool explained.

Shrek was intrigued. "If you'd be willing to share such a power I couldn't thank you enough, but what about Captive America? Didn't he get stuck under the ocean while it froze? We kinda just left them in the submarine before we abandoned it and attacked the island."

"I'm sure Doc can think of something," Deadpool said. He motioned for Shrek to follow, which Shrek did.

The merc and the ogre walked through the hallway. On their way to Dr. Mario's lab they ran into Anal.

"What are you two doing?" she asked.

Shrek really didn't want to tell her. "Not much. Just go enjoy yourself to some of the island attractions."

"I don't wanna waste time. Give me a job. Let me in on what you're doing or something," Anal said. She was talking in a subtly intimidating way that Shrek knew she used to make him feel uncomfortable.

"We're going to Dr. Mario's lab to try out an experiment. That's all," Shrek said. He started to walk away with Deadpool but Anal stopped them.

"Let me come along," she said. She delivered it as a plead, but Shrek knew it was a threat.

"Or else what?" Shrek said. He was being frank now, he didn't have time to deal with this.

"Or else maybe I'll tell Dr. Mario why his Metal Face doesn't seem to be working properly. I'm surprised he hasn't found out the answer himself yet," Anal said. She gave Shrek a jeering grin.

"Okay whatever. Come on you spawn of Anime Satan, let's go," Shrek said. Deadpool took lead and resumed walking as Shrek and Anal tagged along.

* * *

Elsewhere, in one of the island lounges Chad decided to seclude himself from the group. He took out his guitar and began to strum it.

_You've put up with more things _

_More things than you've had to do _

_You wish life wasn't as so _

_It's because you let all of them know _

_How much harm they bring to you_

"Hmm, that kinda works. It's a bit of a stretch especially since I just improvised the entire thing. I have to work on it. The little guy has been through so much he really deserves a good song."

* * *

Shrek, Deadpool, and Anal walked into Dr. Mario's lab. The first thing Shrek noticed was that Elsa wasn't at her spot.

"Where is she?" Shrek asked, barely hiding his anger.

"Elsa? Oh, she's fine. Got done healing way earlier than I expected. She's seeing to something Phosphora and Nui were bickering about with that egg guy," Dr. Mario replied calmly. He seemed rather calm and nonchalant today.

"Oh. Sorry for freaking out then," Shrek said shyly.

"Let's cut to the chase. We're here for an experiment," Deadpool said.

"Ooh, do tell," Dr. Mario said. He seemed genuienly interested.

"I need to be stronger," Shrek said bluntly.

"Oh, how interesting," Dr. Mario said. "I have an experiment ready just for that!"

The doctor pulled out a serum, bestowing it to Shrek.

"This is from Captive America's blood. With slight alterations I may be able to accustom it to you so you can gain his strength. It should greatly restrain you from aging. You'd probably gain another one hundred years or so of life," Dr. Mario explained.

Deadpool nudged Dr. Mario. "What about my blood?" asked the merc. "Surely my blood can share my healing factor!"

Dr. Mario stood there thinking. He gazed at Deadpool and Shrek. "Hmm, that could possibly work too," the doctor replied.

Thirty minutes passed as Dr. Mario and Anal set Shrek and Deadpool on big chairs, hooking the former up to a system, latching him with various holds and putting tubes into his body.

"Captive America's blood will be injected first, it should be the simplest step," Dr. Mario said. "Be prepared, Shrek."

"I'm ready," Shrek said. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes as he felt a needle poke him. He felt a surge of pain across his body that lasted for mere seconds. Shrek's muscles began to buldge, his body growing slightly taller. His shirt tore in half, revealing a glorious twenty pack. Luckily his pants had merely stretched.

"Damn, he got hot!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"Well it's not going to last much longer if your blood gives him a face anything like yours," Anal commented.

Deadpool felt deeply wounded inside. "Wow, that would have actually hurt. If I let people affect my self esteem, that is."

"Clearly it did," Anal replied.

Deadpool laughed, "My mask may be pretty expressive but you can't even see what face I made."

Anal made an exaggerated, fake gagging sound. "Why would I want to see under your mask?"

"Leave, you weeb!" Dr. Mario shouted. "I'm not about to have you distract one of my patients or distract me from doing this."

"Really now?" Anal said in a mocking voice. "Wait did you just call me a weeb?"

"Get out," Dr. Mario commanded. Anal left the room.

"Okay, now that Scene Phase-Hatsune Miku is gone, let's get this over with," Deadpool sighed. "Are you ready, Shrek?"

Shrek breathed heavily, looking at Deadpool. "Kinda, my body is just sore from the changes."

"Take your time, otherwise you might die," Dr. Mario warned.

The three waited a while, until Shrek spoke.

"My body feels some relief now, I think I'm ready," the ogre said.

Dr. Mario flipped a giant switch and pressed a few buttons on a machine. A bunch of lights around the system Shrek and Deadpool were tied around to started to light up, and both Shrek and Deadpool started screaming.

Some of Shrek's blood was extracted from a tube and poured into a container, followed by some of Deadpool's blood pouring in as well. The entries to the container closed, with the container beginning to shake rapidly. The container started steaming, the blood bubbling violently. The entrance from Shrek's end opened and the blood came out and went back into Shrek.

Shrek screeched pretty loudly. This time, the pain struck his entire body and stayed there for an entire minute.

* * *

"Hey Anal, have you seen Shrek?" Elsa asked as she approached Anal in a hallway.

"Oh, glad to see you're doing up and better," Anal greeted. "I actually just saw him. He was asking Dr. Mario to experiment on him. It was, well, kinda weird..."

"He asked him to do WHAT?" Elsa shouted.

"I dunno why, but he did. If you want to check up on them you can," Anal said nonchalantly.

"Thanks for telling me, Anal. I'm gonna go check up on this right now," Elsa said. She ran off in a hurry.

Anal laughed to herself once Elsa was out of hearing range.

* * *

"I'm telling you Tingle! I am going to get my revenge on those two soon! No, not just two, those three!" Magolor vented.

"Are you really?" Tingle asked, seemingly uninterested.

"Yeah! Phosphora, Nui, and even that jerk Anal! They're all just bullies and none of them care about anyone's feelings!" Magolor exclaimed.

"Well, I have my doubts but good luck," Tingle replied. "Speaking of crazy dreams, I had another dream where I was a fairy. It must be a sign, right?"

"Well, I don't know... I guess it could mean you might become a fairy soon!" Magolor cheerfully replied.

"Yeah, I hope so."

* * *

**Well it looks like Shrek is in for hell now! Be ready for next chapter when the evil Yoshi assigns Dr. Mario and some of the more evil members an assignment, and Shrek and Elsa face off! Tune in next time for The League of Super Evil Chapter 14: Broken Bonds.**


	14. Chapter 14: Broken Bonds

**Hello all and welcome to the League of Super Evil. Sorry if I haven't been updating a shitton like the golden days of my crackfics, but I've been busy prepping for college and with my job lately, so I haven't had a lot of time. During the summer I'll likely find more time to do this kind of stuff and be online alongside going to work, doing stupid things with peeps, and fulfilling my current bucket list. Anyway, here's the new chapter!**

* * *

Shrek, Deadpool, and Dr. Mario stood in Dr. Mario's lab. Shrek and Deadpool had just been removed from the devices they were attached to during the experimenting.

"So, how do you feel, Shrek?" Dr. Mario asked.

Shrek's ogre muscles were bulging, throbbing intensely. He was heavily breathing and bleeding from a couple of small cuts where blood was transferred into him. He looked very sexy, and I mean VERY sexy. And I've seen some sexy ogres before. I'm a guy. God even Deadpool thought Shrek was incredibly hot now, even though Deadpool himself was sexy as well.

"Well, I feel like I'm experiencing horrible pain," Shrek said. "But I feel stronger than ever!"

"That's wonderful!" Dr. Mario said. He seemed to be very happy that his experiment went alright. "I'm feeling a little dapper knowing everything went well. How about we go out and have some ice cream, or maybe gelato?"

"Is ice cream really all that evil?" Deadpool asked.

"We'll add extra fudge to show how intense and powerful we are," Dr. Mario assured. "And no sprinkles."

Before the trio could leave to go get some delicious frozen delicacies, Elsa suddenly emerged. She stood in the doorway.

"SHREK!" she yelled. She looked pissed.

"Uh oh," Shrek muttered.

Elsa stormed over to Shrek.

"What were you thinking? This could have killed you!" she said in tears. "Dr. Mario's a genius, but nothing guranteed your safety!"

Shrek felt annoyed. He didn't want to be rude to Elsa, but he felt uncontrollable anger. "Not like I'm not going to eventually die anyway," he said stoically.

Elsa's tears became more noticable to Shrek and he started to feel bad. His own eyes were now watering as well.

"You're so seclusive from me now," she said. "I don't know why but you won't speak up about what's bothering you or your own emotions, and now you do this behind my back."

"For the record, you were still more or less recovering so I didn't want to burden you."

"Shrek, I'm serious."

"So am I."

Dr. Mario smiled subtly as he backed away, removing himself from the scene. Deadpool just stared at his two friends, unsure of what to do.

"What kind of leader just goes and does things behind the co-leader's back?! We're supposed to be a team, Shrek!" Elsa stammered. She started charging a blast of ice in one hand.

Shrek snarled at her, in an honest to God scary way. "Are you going to fight me? Do it! Go ahead and try!"

Something inside of Shrek was cracking, and it truly startled him. He had so much emotional tension built up. He didn't want to fight Elsa not only because he truly cared about her, but he also was worried of his amazing new strength. He could accidentally kill her.

Elsa blasted her ice toward Shrek as he leaped forward, jumping over the ice. Elsa dodged to the side with a jump, almost getting hit by Shrek. Shrek landed, leaving a dent in the ground. He pulled his feet out of the ground, attempting to turn around as Elsa begun to freeze him.

"This doesn't have to happen, Shrek," Elsa said calmly.

"You're right," Shrek said.

The room grew quiet for a moment.

Shrek's muscles buldged and the ice surrounding him broke, and he charged toward Elsa. She formed a shield of ice around her at last second, then had it fall to pieces and sent the pieces flying.

"Hey! Be careful, we don't know what kind of stuff Dr. Mario has in here, you could have caused an explosion!" Deadpool yelled.

"Sorry," Elsa replied. "Wait, why aren't you helping?"

"I don't know who to help!" Deadpool cried. "Also, WATCH OUT!"

Elsa looked up to see Shrek about to land on her. She hit him with a stream of ice and he was sent flying back. He hit against the wall.

Elsa seemed to be completely unscratched, but Shrek showed signs of a few cuts. They started healing right away, slowly tying themselves up.

"It actually worked..." Dr. Mario said under his breathe, watching from the corner.

The noise of the fight had even alerted the rest of LoSE, who all came running down to watch the spectacle in awe.

Shrek and Elsa kept fighting each other back and forth for quite a while, until Deadpool spoke up.

"Guys! Calm down, what if something in here explodes?" he yelled. "You two don't need to fight! Call it off!"

Anal laughed. "It's truly sad how none of you seem to get along at all. What kind of team is this?"

"One that's far too broken," Deadpool said. "And it's not funny. We've only been on this team for a short time and look at what's happening."

"It's so pathetic it is funny," Anal said. "But seriously, it needs to stop."

Shrek and Elsa looked at each other, then looked at their friends. Magolor and Tingle looked horrified as they were in the corner, trying not to get caught in the middle of the fight, Chad was giving a disapproving look, Phosphora and Nui looked pissed, and Metal Face just stood there. They couldn't spot Dr. Mario, for some reason.

Even with the slight arguing, the mercenary and scene phase Hatsune Miku who hated each other had a point, one that they agreed on. The fighting was stupid and needed to stop.

"I'm sorry," Shrek said. It's all he could fathom to say. He quickly ran out of the lab and ran to his bedroom.

"Shrek..." Elsa whispered under her breath. She slowly turned around to look at the rest of the team, gathering together.

"You should try talking to him," Chad said.

Elsa nodded. She ran off to go comfort her ogre love.

* * *

Shrek sat down on the end of his bed, deep in thought. What kind of leader was he? Fighting not just with a teammate, but also his love. With all the dark, gritty chaos going on that he had to deal with along with his emotional wellbeing, Shrek never had the time to sit down and think. He never had the time to ask himself if he was truly evil or not. He had seen the movie Wreck-it Ralph, and he knew that being evil could be good, but he couldn't tell. He had no obligation to be evil other than Yoshi previously making him sign a contract that would have him killed if he ever attempted defying the green Barney. Shrek didn't like harming innocent people, and he couldn't recover from the horrific nightmare that happened just the other day when taking over the island. He wished he had never had to harm or order the death of anyone. If only he could find a definitive way of cutting off ties from Yoshi, but Dr. Mario and Yoshi always made sure to have back up ways of communication. Shrek's thoughts came to an abrupt stop as he heard the door creek.

"Shrek," Elsa said, standing at the door. She invited herself in and sat down next to the sad, sexy ogre.

"Elsa..." Shrek said quietly. He looked away from her.

"Don't be ashamed, we both need to take responsibility for everything that just happened," Elsa said calmly, patting Shrek's buff back.

Shrek shed a tear. He felt so physically strong, but so pathetic on the inside. "You don't understand," he replied.

Elsa turned Shrek's head toward her and kissed him. What the hell am I writing. "I want to understand," she said caringly.

Shrek thought about the root of his current problems. Shadow. Oh how Shrek had missed Shadow, his little goth edgehog. Shrek only wanted to have Shadow back and nothing more. He was happy to have Elsa and he truly loved her, but Shrek still missed Shadow, even if Shadow had cheated on him.

He was never going to get over him unless he took the steps to do so, and he felt right now that telling Elsa the truth would be a good first step.

"Elsa," Shrek begun. "I still think about him. Shadow, that is."

Shrek noticed a brief moment of surprise in Elsa's eyes.

"Oh," she said with a small rasp in her voice. "I see."

Shrek already regretted the decision. He should have told her about his evil remorse instead.

There were moments of silence.

"Well," she said, shedding a few tears. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you. If you're still not over him, that's fine, too."

Shrek felt tense and warm. "It's not like that, Elsa..."

"Then what is it like, Shrek?"

After another few long drawn moments of silence, Elsa finally spoke up again.

"I'm gonna find another hotel room to sleep in. There are tons of empty ones left, maybe I can find a more comforting one."

Shrek didn't say anything as Elsa left the room, not even bothering to close the door. The sad, emotionally vulnerable, and dead sexy ogre placed his head into the palm of his hands as he sniffled, tears finally coming out without any restrictions.

* * *

Elsewhere, somewhere downstairs in in the island base of LoSE, Dr. Mario, Anal, Nui, and Metal Face were hiding.

"You know you should keep Metal Face in close range. Can't trust that wuss on ogre," Anal said.

"Don't lecture me, I'm not an idiot," the doctor scolded. He was fixing Metal Face. There was a laptop nearby with Skype open.

"So when exactly should we expect the call?" Nui asked, bored as a brick.

Suddenly, there was a Skype call. Dr. Mario removed himself from Metal Face and walked over to his laptop, pressing a button. A video chat opened up revealing none other than the evil Yoshi.

"Greetings, my prized pupils," Yoshi said.

"Hello, my lord..." Dr. Mario said. He bowed to the dinosaur.

"It seems as if Shrek has softened up, so I'm sending this request directly to you four. I know I can trust you," Yoshi spoke cryptically.

"What about Phosphora?" Nui asked. "She seems pretty worthy if you ask me."

Yoshi scoffed loudly. "Not everyone is what they seem, Nui. She's exceptional to the average person, but she is weak, and not just in power."

Nui brushed the comments aside, not wanting to argue with her superior.

"So what exactly is this mission you have for us?" Anal asked.

Yoshi smiled, telling the evil villains what he needed them to do. He asked Dr. Mario, Nui, and Metal Face to attack Grima, while he wanted Anal to go to Melee City. He told the former three that they needed Grima down so Kynthia would be more susceptible to harm for Yoshi's plans. He told Anal that should would get more info about her mission when she arrived at Melee City. After he was done explaining and disconnected, Dr. Mario made everyone leave the room. He opened another video chat and there was a man in green clothes.

"So, how long can we keep up our charades, Doc?" the green man asked.

"As long as we can, Green. We just have to be careful," Dr. Mario replied.

"Mmhmm. If anyone were to find out about our interactions and group, everything would fall apart. Absolutely everything," the green man said. "But the real reason I called is to say we should next meet up in Melee City, where nobody will expect a thing."

Dr. Mario simply nodded, as he disconnected and got up. He picked up a chess piece off the floor and gazed at it. "Everyone these days is merely a pawn to some of us."

* * *

Magolor sat up in his bed, having a hard time getting to sleep. He looked at the clock on his night stand, reading 11:30 PM. His stomach rumbled so loud he woke up from a nightmare he was having involving a certain awful edgy goth Pokemon.

Magolor got up and made his way to the fridge of the hotel building. When he got there he saw Deadpool standing at the microwave.

"What's up Magolpal?" the mercenary said.

"Not much," he mumbled. Magolor started looking through the fridge as Deadpool just stood there. He pulled a burrito out of the microwave and started eating it. Man oh man did Magolor wish he could be like him. He wanted to be funny, strong, and so much more. While mostly everyone looked down at Deadpool for being the way he was, Magolor respected him greatly.

"Hey..." Magolor said. Deadpool didn't notice him. "Hey," he said, this time louder.

Deadpool looked at him. "Yes?"

"C-can you train me? To be a mercenary like you?!" Magolor asked.

"Sure, why not?" Deadpool said.

"Yes!" Magolor said cheerfully. Tingle then jumped out of nowhere.

"Train me too! Me too!" the not-fairy-part-fairy asked.

"Sure, I can do you too," he said as he tossed his plate aside.

Meanwhile, Shrek was in the hallway just about to pass by. He heard the merc, space egg, and fairy man talking. He didn't want to be spotted by them, so he quietely tippy-toed by but Tingle looked over, causing the other two to do so as well.

"Hey, where are you going?" Deadpool asked.

Shrek froze.

"I trust you three, okay? So don't tell anyone, but I'm going somewhere secret. Somewhere back on the mainland away from the island," the ogre explained.

"Take us along," Deadpool said.

Shrek knew better than to question why because he would be given a half-baked answer.

"Fine, but we meet back at the boat before sunrise, okay?" Shrek asked.

"Okay."

Shrek, Deadpool, Magolor, and Tingle got onto a speed boat. The water was still rather icy from the Elsa incident, but it was clear enough to speed through and make it through alive.

* * *

Grima was lying down peacefully next to his wife.

"Goodnigt," he said with his arm wrapped around her. Kynthia didn't reply, but let out a small snore, as she was now asleep.

Grima had a suspicious feeling though, as if something were watching him. He got up and walked outside the house. He followed a trail of foot prints out into the forest. He looked around, not being able to spot anything.

"Now!" a voice yelled. Dr. Mario, Nui, and Metal Face jumped out and attacked him.

Grima let out a battle cry as he unleashed his dragon fury. He spun around and snapped at Dr. Mario, who threw a pill into his mouth. Grima instantly felt funny, seeing multiple Dr. Marios. He discarded them all as he felt claws jab into his back, turning around as Meta Face flung around. He was stuck to Grima as his claws were latched in. Grima shouted for help, as Dr. Mario threw another pill in. Grima powered down, going back to a humane appearance as Metal Face tore his claws out. Nui duck-taped his mouth shut and held a gun to his head.

"That went smooth, didn't it? Dumb dragon got tricked so easy," she laughed.

"Trully an idiot, isn't he? No need to hold that gun to his face, by the way. My first pill should do enough to kill him, so long as he doesn't see a doctor," Dr. Mario said. He laughed loudly.

"Aren't you a doctor yourself?" Nui asked, laughing along with him.

"I guess not every doctor can help," the evil doctor chuckled. He kicked Grima in the side. Nui walked over to grab Grima and drag him, throwing him into a stream nearby.

"Good luck getting out of this one," she said.

* * *

**Incredible**


	15. Chapter 15: Never Ogre

**Welcome back! When I showed up at school today I had no work left so they told me to gtfo, so I jogged home while blasting crappy punk rock music and the lighting was beautiful. Like any other white boy (usually with brown hair) in a young adult novel would, I had an epiphany of some sort and randomly started writing this beautiful fanfiction. I'm uploading it now to make up for the lack of chapters on the usual weekend schedule lately. Now I'm hurriedly editing this so I can get to work on time.**

* * *

Shrek, Deadpool, Magolor, and Tingle arrived on land, at midnight. They tied the ship to a dock as well as they could, praying it would not loosen and dettach itself.

"Well, this is where we part ways," Shrek said.

"Aw come on!" Deadpool whined. "Let us join you on your top secret and evil mission!"

Shrek sighed. "It's not a mission," he explained. "This is entirely personal. I don't want you three along with me, so why don't you all go do something else?"

Deadpool drew Magolor and Tingle nearby, talking to them quietly while peaking back at Shrek a few times.

"We'll take your offer for now, but we aren't going to like it," Deadpool finally decided. "Come on guys, let's hit up the arcade."

As Deadpool and his apprentice wandered off, Shrek had no idea if he meant to simply visit the arcade or destory it. He could never really tell what was what with Deadpool, but he didn't expect anything too bad from him without reason.

Shrek shrugged away his thoughts, then resumed his mission; find Shadow.

It took Shrek quite a few hours to finally get info on his past love, and it took even longer to finally track him down. He was a resident at a place known as the Lancia family. Shrek crept around outside, peaking in windows. He saw familiar enemies Yoshi had warned him about. He wondered if anyone else on the team knew about this. It would be useful information to know where one of their enemy groups lived, but Shrek didn't want to tell anyone. He couldn't tell if he truly wanted to harm the goths or not, as they seemed mostly harmless. After all, all they truly wanted was to get their store back, not mass genocide or to commit evil. Plus, Shadow was a part of the Hot Topic Krew, which was enough to convince Shrek to not want to hurt them. Also, Shrek had a soft spot for goths... because he had a scene phase once, too.

Nearby, Shrek heard some familiar voices laughing. Dr. Mario, Metal Face, and Anal. Shrek froze, and jumped behind a bush as they walked into sight.

"That was simply too easy," Dr. Mario laughed.

"The entire Lancia family is either fat or stupid," Nui commented.

Dr. Mario chuckled loudly. "Fat or stupid? What's the difference?"

Shrek clenched his fist. He hated Nui and Dr. Mario even more now.

"So, should we deal with the rest of the Lancias and the HTK now? Nui asked.

Dr. Mario shook his head. "No, not yet. They're heading to Melee City tomorrow, which is where Anal went. Whatever happens there should kill them, I'm sure. For now, we should head back, as Metal Face needs to charge."

Nui gave him a bored look, but then gave in. "Fine, I would have loved to go check up on Grima at the bottom of the stream, but let's go."

As the evil doctor, scissor girl, and their robot left, Shrek exited the bush. He took out a note and red crayon, writing a note.

_You are all in danger here. _

_Keep an eye out. _

_A threat lingers._

_You're not safe here. _

_We know where you live._

_Grima was tossed into the stream._

Shrek left the cryptic and creepy note at the doorstep of the Lancia house. He hoped that maybe somebody would see it, but part of him believed the wind might blow it away. He felt his phone go off.

_From: Yoshi _

_Sent to: Shrek at ogremail _

_Subject: Mission_

_Message: I've sent Dr. Mario a new mission briefing. I need your group to take down Grima. Good luck_

Shrek was a little upset that Yoshi still had ways of contacting him and that he was sending missions to LoSE members behind his back, but something else was bugging him more.

Shrek resumed his search, climbing up the house carefully to check in the windows of higher stories. He eventually spotted Shadow in one, listening to a CD player with KoRN CDs around him on the floor.

Shrek prepared to knock on the window, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He retracted his hand as Shadow turned around and stared Shrek in the eyes.

"Shrek..." Shadow mouthed.

"Shadow..." Shrek whispered.

Shadow walked over to the window and threw it open.

"Shrek... why are you here? After all these years..." Shadow said. He had tears in his eyes.

"Yes, after all these years, Shadow," Shrek said solemnly.

"I thought we were ogre..." Shadow cried.

"It was never all ogre, Shadow!" Shrek cried, though quietely so not to wake people up.

"But Shrek, I hurt you. I had daughters with someone else and made you feel both sexually and romantically inferior," Shadow said. He sniffled.

"I don't care, Shadow. I know how you felt back then now... satisified with someone but not satisfied enough. But Elsa is different from Ragyo, I'm sure of it," Shrek said. he was grasping at straws now, as he had no idea what to say.

"If you have Elsa now we can't do this. Not again," Shadow replied. He looked away from Shrek.

But Shrek leaned in to kiss him, and he didn't pull away from him.

"Shrek..." Shadow said, pulling away.

Shrek just leaned back in, and before the both of them knew it they were going at it for quite a while...

* * *

Elsa sat down in her bed. She couldn't bring herself to sleep. She was too distressed. Oh how she wished Shrek would be more honest with her. She was upset that Shrek still thought of Shadow, but she understood why. It's not easy to forget someone after being in a relationship with them, even if they wronged you. Even if you broke up with them. Elsa speculated to herself, envisioning scenarios. What if Shrek were to cheat on her? Would Shrek go as far to do that when he himself had already been hurt in the same way?

* * *

Shrek woke up in bed, naked and next to Shadow. An hour or two had passed, and Shrek had only noticed when stopping the recording on his phone. There was twenty texts from Deadpool asking if it was time to meet up back at the boat. Shrek got up and peaked out the window, the breeze from the window gracing his bare, muscular buttocks.

"Are you leaving?" Shadow asked quietely.

"I'm afraid so," Shrek said calmly. He gave Shadow a loving look as he climbed out the window.

"Please come back again, if we ever come back from Melee City."

"I shall."

"Shrek..."

* * *

Chad woke up to his phone going off. He looked at the caller ID and saw the number as unknown. He reluctantly picked up the phone, hearing a familiar voice.

"Chad, we need to talk. This is serious."

Chad felt his heart pounding. He quickly hung up and tossed the phone away, quickly pulling a blanket over him as he cowered.

"They've found me. They've so found me. I can't go back, no. I can never go back ever again..."

* * *

"Nui, I need to go somewhere. I feel as if you should come, too," Dr. Mario said.

"Where to?" Nui inquired.

"Melee City. I know Anal is there, but I have someone I must personally meet up with... someone I have to see. I can't trust anyone to know about this, but over time I have learned to trust you. You are one of the only truly valuable members on this team," Dr. Mario said.

"Is that true?"

"Yes. Nobody else has shown signs of worth."

"If we're going to Melee City, are we taking Metal Face too?"

"No, too clunky. He'd give us away. Plus, I need him back at base. He can keep watch of Shrek and the other less trustworthy members, as well as help defend in the event of an attack."

"Alright. So when shall we leave?"

"Now."

* * *

As Shrek walked home, he remembered all that was waiting for him. Sure, he had to deal with a bunch of evil people, idiots, and people who would bother him, but so what? He found many of them to be innocent friends of his, and he cherished them so. Shrek felt so happy, he couldn't help but feel everything would be alright. He knew he would have to put up with problems, but they did not concern them at all. He'd burn those bridges when he got to them, one by one or all at once.

Then Shrek remembered Elsa. He frowned a bit, but then went back into his happy mood. She wouldn't know, so Shrek felt it was okay...

Shrek ignored the thoughts of Elsa as he arrived back at the meeting point. Deadpool, Magolor, and Tingle were there with Chuck E. Cheeses tickets and various prizes.

"Well, you look happy," Deadpool said in a welcoming voice. "Where did you run off to anyway?"

"It was a bit of a therapy session," Shrek lied. Well, sort of.

"It seems to have really lifted your spirits," Magolor obsered.

"It certainly has. Don't tell anyone, though," Shrek replied.

"Hey man, there's nothing to be ashamed of about getting help when you need it. I've gotten therapy too," Deadpool said. He looked very understanding.

"Yeah, I know, I know," Shrek said. "But this is something I must do in secret, and it will be a while before the next session. Please don't tell anyone."

"Okay, I respect your wishes," Deadpool said. "And these two better as well or I am so done training them."

Magolor and Tingle simply nodded.

"Thanks man," Shrek said.

The four of them then got on the small little boat as the sun started to show itself ever so slightly. From afar stood a buff African American man with an eye patch, looking at the four of them with a pair of binoculars.

"Don't worry, Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee. You shall all be... avenged."

* * *

**Oh snap! Things are getting intense again. Anyway I have 11 minutes before work and I need to get the hell across town before I'm late. Tune in next time for the next all-new flashback chapter where we see a bit more of Shrek's past! ...And maybe the past of some others, too...**


	16. Chapter 16: Shrek Flashback III

**It's the LoSE author back to deliver you another amazing chapter. Sorry to keep you waiting.**

* * *

Shrek walked out of his bedroom, giddy and happier than ever. He had felt so wonderful ever since his night with Shadow, that all his worries had seemingly vanished. He stepped into a kitchen in a random part of the island resort, pouring some coffee into a mug shaped like Captive America's glorious head. God I love mugs shaped like character's heads. I have a Deadpool one.

Shrek's peace was brought to an abrupt end when he heard Magolor crying. The ogre left the kitchen, and peered out into what seemed to be a dining room. Phosphora was there, along with Magolor.

"And uh, I dunno, you're also dumb. I guess," Phosphora said, almost without emotion.

"You say it so flatly but it's still so mean!" Magolor whimpered.

Shrek had enough of seeing Magolor getting bullied. He built up a growl, then roared.

"Will you and those other two just leave the poor guy alone? I don't need to have any Mean Girls on this team! It was bad enough when you tried to get us to wear pink on Wednesdays. I used to love pink!" Shrek yelled.

Phosphora flinched for a moment, then walked off, surprisingly without showing any signs of anger.

Shrek sighed, remembering Dr. Mario and Nui walking off the previous night. He could only imagine where they ended up going. It was likely to Melee City. Shrek feared for Shadow's safety knowing such an evil as Dr. Mario may get near him, as well as Nui and the already-going-there Anal. He prayed for Shadow's safety.

"Shrek, thank-you for defending me. She's always really mean to me," Magolor said. He seemed to be tearing up.

Shrek truly felt bad for the little space egg. "It's okay. I know how it feels, and I simply do not tolerate bullying. I let them go on for far too long, but I'm not letting it happen anymore."

"Thanks Shrek," Magolor cried. He hugged the ogre.

Shrek felt awkward but he hugged back, being careful not to crush the tubby egg with his amazing ogre muscle.

"You know, I used to be bullied as well," Shrek admitted. This was not something he told very many.

"Y-you did?" Magolor gasped.

"Yeah, back in the good ol' school days. I was rather young. During my early tween years I was skinny as a twig, but over time I developed eating problems and gained quite a lot of weight. It was then people started to make fun of me for stress eating, which made me stress eat more. I got so big I had health problems, but people still laughed," Shrek said. Now that he started telling his story it was hard to stop. Now was the time to let his past come out.

* * *

_Shrek pulled some books out of his locker before slamming it shut. He heard people in the hallway giggling from afar. There was a group of higher class students standing around, peaking and pointing at Shrek. The ogre was pretending not to listen, but every bit and word pierced him harshly._

_"Haha, what a fatass!" one student laughed. He chuckled in such a way Shrek wanted to punch him._

_"Yeah, he doesn't even need to run to jiggle! You can notice it when he walks too!" another one of the students laughed. He was laughing in a fashion that made his laughter seem like it was fake and intentionally obnoxious._

_A third student elbowed another one with a bowlcut. "Don't you agree, Chad? Ehh?"_

_The bowlcut boy carefully set a loose hair back into place. He shrugged, looking at the others and giving them a confused look. "Well I guess that's really his business. Besides, what if he hears us talking?"_

_The other three boys then groaned, looking at him with annoyed expressions._

_"Come on Chad," the first boy said. "You just HAVE to be a jerk if you want to be in a band!"_

_The second and third boy then looked at a shy redhead girl who seemed to be with them._

_"Don't you think it's funny, Anna?" the second boy asked. He seemed to be getting way too close to the girl._

_"I don't know. I guess it's kinda silly? Hehee," she said dully. The three boys seemed to buy the fake laugh and they chuckled in unison._

_A girl with bright, white-ish hair then approached the crowd. She shoved the three boys aside, eyeing the redhead and Chad._

_"Sis, how many times do I have to tell you? Don't hang around these dicks. Especially not the three on the floor right now," the girl said._

_Shrek recognized the girl. Her name was Elsa, and from what Shrek had heard around the school the redhead girl was her younger sister. Shrek had always heard from people that Elsa was a bossy, rude girl, but she really only seemed to be caring, especially of her sister. Shrek really admired her, but he didn't feel much of a romantic attraction. At least not yet._

_"Chad, why are you hanging out with these three again?" Elsa asked, sighing. She looked at Chad with a face of disappointment._

_"I'm sorry Elsa, but... they're not that bad. It's just that they really need me. We're gonna be in a band together, and I think it's gonna be really rad!" Chad said shyly._

_"Chad, they're just a bunch of punks. You're too good to hang around them," Elsa said pleadingly._

_The three boys giggled silently._

_"Aw, you're a good kid aren't you Chad?" teased one of them._

_Shrek noticed Chad's expression growing florid, looking away from the boys._

_"Come on, I know you're different," Elsa said sadly._

_"Hey Chad maybe you better listen to that bitch," one of the boys said loudly. Various people looked over, the hallways growing silent._

_"OH SNAP, he did not just say that," said a bystanding voice. It was Henry with his boyfriend Robin._

_"What did you just call me?" Elsa stammered._

_"A bitch," the boy repeated. "One of the biggest ones in this school besides Cia."_

_"First of all, I'm not a 'bitch', and second of all, don't call her that, even if she is unarguably the bigget one in this school!"_

_"Pfft. Why can't I call you that? Anyone will agree with me! Come on, everyone chant! Bitch! Bitch!"_

_Almost the entire hallway started yelling the word in unison, including Cia._

_"Why are you chanting too?!" Elsa yelled at her. Cia simply shrugged in response._

_Elsa looked flustered. She ran off crying while Anna just stood there, unsure of what to do._

_One of the boys looked at Chad._

_"Why aren't you chanting it too? Come on man!"_

_Chad just sighed as the attention became directed toward him. He slowly walked away from the gathered crowd._

_Shrek gulped as one of the boys looked at him._

_"What about the fat kid?" the boy said._

_"Nah, he's too nice. What a dumbass," another one of the boys said. The entire hallway laughed as Shrek ran off crying while running to his next class. People followed him all the way there, laughing and pointing. It was a nightmare for the poor ogre._

_Shrek sniffled as he walked into his history class presented by Mr. Drake, a former tresure hunter and formally low-life thief who managed to save the world multiple times. He was the most laid back teacher in the entire school, and also married to the lovely Lara Croft._

_Shrek kept hiding his tears over the course of the class, sniffling and such. Nobody seemed to notice, but after class Mr. Drake had stopped Shrek before he could leave. They were the only two in the room._

_"Are you okay, Shrek?" asked the sexy treasure hunter._

_"No, not really..." Shrek said sheepishly._

_"Come on, I'm a teacher. I'm obligated to intervene by default but I really do care about you. There's something going on, I know. You came into class looking like you were about to die," Mr. Drake said. He seemed more serious than his usual facetious tone._

_Shrek decided to be frank. "Everyone calls me fat and acts like it's funny."_

_"Is that what they do?" Mr. Drake said, seeming a little confused._

_"Yeah, I know, I'm complaining for no reason," Shrek said, sniffling._

_"No, you're not in the wrong. They're just stupid. Is that what kids laugh about these days? Jeez," Mr. Drake replied. "You know, I used to be pretty fat. My friends called me 'Doughnut Drake' instead of Nate for the longest time. You know what I did? I didn't change for the longest time. Instead, I took life by the balls and fought back. I did things they'd say I couldn't do, like scale and climb various obstacles. Yeah, stuff broke under my weight, but I kept going even after almost dying on several occasions."_

_"So you're saying it doesn't matter if I'm fat?" Shrek asked, his tears starting to dry up._

_"Hell no, it doesn't matter at all! Yeah, life's a bit harder when your weight drags you down a bit, but you just gotta be strong and carry it. I know you can do it."_

_Shrek nodded and smiled. "Thanks Mr. Drake. I'm gonna go now, okay?"_

_"Sure thing. If you need to talk again, I'm here."_

* * *

"Wow, he sounds like a really cool guy," Magolor said.

"He was. After that conversation I came back to him multiple times. He taught me many things, including combat and how to climb various things. Kind of like what Deadpool is doing with you right now," Shrek said.

"Yeah, speaking of me," Deadpool said, entering the room. "I have a story too."

Shrek was incredibly startled. He had no idea anyone was listening to the story, and he wanted it to be private.

"Gods, you scared me," Shrek said in a surprised tone.

"Sorry about that. I was waiting for a good intro. I have a pretty good story too, but I went to a different school," Deadpool said.

* * *

_It was only a week until the big game. I was on the basketball team, led by the glorious Mr. Fury. The team was severely weak and unprepared to face the rival school. Faced with hard decisions, Nick Fury put us under intense training and even made some of us weaker ones take steroids. He got so desperate that he funded the development of serums, technology designed for battle, and so on just for us to win that damn game. There was an accident in the school during the development of Tony Stark's Iron Man suit that was being made solely for the game, and the building caught on fire. Everyone got out in time except for me. I got stuck in the fire as I cried for help and my entire body went disfigured. My boyfriend Peter was devestated for weeks afterward until he eventually broke up with me for that Mary Jane, ugh. Anyway there were many casualties because of that ball game and when the law found out about Fury's game plan and how all the students willingly took part in the game, they forced them to do community service which eventually led to S.H.I.E.L.D. being made._

* * *

"Wow, that is... surprising. Never expected such dark origins from a heroic group," Shrek said.

"Yeah, greatness from small, horrific, awful beginnings," Deadpool replied.

For some reason that sounded awfully close to Mr. Drake's catchphrase, which caught Shrek off guard.

"I guess what this really shows is that not everything is what it appears to be. There's corruption everywhere, and sometimes in corruption there's good," Deadpool rambled.

Shrek thought about what he was saying. Many times, Shrek had seen the people in power corrupt, and in many ways he saw "corrupt" people, bad guys like himself, to be not so bad. Shrek thought deeper about his moral placement all day after hearing that.

* * *

Meanwhile, Phosphora was in her room. She kept looking at her nails, she was glad she was able to go get them done earlier. However, pretty nails aside nothing could distract her from some bad feeling she had deep down. With Nui and Anal both gone, she felt lonely. In fact, she usually just followed the two of them around and took after them. She didn't even feel like being rude to Magolor, having little to no motivation to bother him. She sighed, brushing it off as nothing. She couldn't get the egg guy off her mind though, and everything she had said to him of her own accord or Nui's guidance started to bother her deeply...

* * *

**Sorry for the lack of chapters lately, but having a job sucks. but so does being broke. Too bad I can't live off of Bing Rewards and Swagbucks.**


	17. Chapter 17: Rising Tide

**Here's another breezy summer chapter of the League of Super Evil! This is a prelude leading into an exciting new battle with many character developments! In this new arc; who will join the League and who will fall? Who will change? And will the group ever be the same by the end? Keep reading to find out!**

* * *

Phosphora got up out of bed after a night of very little sleep. Thoughts kept tugging at her mind and she found it difficult to even lay there on the bed. Thoughts stormed her mind, and she hated it. She eventually gave up on sleeping and went up to go to the Starbucks that was on the island resort. Well, one of the Starbucks. There were multiple Starbucks all over the island base. There was one that Phosphora had claimed as her own, however. Nobody else knew about this specific Starbucks.

Phosphora made herself a Frappichino Crunch. The smell of nice overpriced coffee reminded her of when she used to work at a Starbucks, during a calmer period of her life, a little while after high school but before was taken into and trained to be a part of the League of Super Evil.

The electric goddess girl drank the icy coffee. She remembered feeling left out and friendless once she was recruited, but then she saw Nui. Nui seemed so cool to Phosphora that she wanted to be her friend. Phosphora believed at the time that being Nui's friend, she'd be among the top of ranks in the league. While Nui was a jerk, she certainly knew how to push people around and Phosphora didn't want to be pushed around eithers. Better to get on Nui's good side and learn how to push others out of the way. Do these sentences even make sense I haven't slept in forever.

The guilt of all the bad things she had done to others with not only Nui but Anal as well started to tear away at Phosphora. She felt cold and heartless, but she knew it was too late to show a sudden change of character. If she apologized, who would believe her? Why bother? Why not just go deeper?

"I should keep up my track record, so when Nui and or Anal get back they won't be disappointed with me," Phosphora said solemnly.

Phosphora tossed aside her coffee and wandered around the island. She made her way to the lounge room Magolor typically hung out at. Sure enough, he was there.

"Hey," Phosphora said.

"Hiya! Are you here to be mean again?" Magolor asked with a small hint of a jeer in his tone.

"Why do I have to be mean? Why reiterate everything you know wrong about yourself," Phosphora said in a monotone voice.

"You're right! Why tell me I'm fat? I know pretty well, and I'm okay with that," Magolor said in a cheerful voice. "It doesn't matter so long as I don't let it matter."

Something about the way Magolor talked so carelessly and joyfully ticked off Phosphora. She knew all she had to do to crush his ego was mock him, and that's what she would do.

"You know what's wrong with you, Magolor? Do you really know what's wrong?" she asked.

Magolor looked at her with an expression of thoughtfulness. "What's wrong with me? Tell me."

"You're fat, useless, have no true friends or anyone who cares about you, were too weak to even help defend the only two people who have ever seen any sort of minimal value in you, nobody likes you, very few people have enough consideration to even pity you, you're annoying, you're whiny, you cry easily, and you always smell weird. Also, this team wouldn't be down in quality if you left, only quantity; that's how little purpose you serve. Now do you see what's wrong with you?" Phosphora said, stuck-up and matter-of-factly.

There was silence. Phosphora stared Magolor right into the eyes, and she could notice the exact moment Magolor finally broke inside.

Tears, tears were being shed and Magolor was freaking out. The space egg wailed loudly, thrashing all over on the ground.

"What the hell did you do now? Was this really necessary?" a voice yelled. It was Deadpool, who jumped into the room through a window.

"What did I do? Put him in his place. Go pacify him or something," Phosphora said. She felt herself breaking inside too. She knew she went way too far, but she didn't care. She didn't care about her image anymore, so why not damage it a bit more? Make everyone's hatred of her justified.

"Didn't Shrek already tell you he's sick of your Mean Girls charade? As much as I love that movie to death and quote it often, we don't need any more of this shit on our team. Tell me what the hell Magolor ever did to you!" Deadpool snapped back.

Phosphora simply gave him the bird before starting to use her electricity powers to fly, well rather zap, away.

"I use this term very lightly but I know for sure that she's, well, she's a bitch," Deadpool said. He directed his attention toward Magolor and patted him on the back. "Are you okay Magolpal?"

Magolor looked up at Deadpool with a face full of tears and simply shook his head left and right. Deadpool picked up the egg and hugged him.

"Come on, let's get your mind off of things. We were supposed to train today, remember?" Deadpool said softly.

"But you said that was tomorrow," Magolor mumbled.

"Too bad. It's today now," Deadpool said.

Tingle popped out from behind a vase nearby.

"I'm coming too!" he yelled.

"Gah! Don't do that, it's scary as hell!" Deapool shouted. He was so surprised by Tingle's sudden appearance he let go of Magolor as the space egg landed on the ground, back on his feet.

The trio then walked off to Deadpool's secret set aside training grounds.

* * *

Shrek and Chad were lounging around, watching TV. Phineas and Ferb was on.

"I can't believe this show ends next Friday," Shrek said sadly.

"Yeah, they're even doing a marathon of like every episode before the finale. It's kind of depressing," Chad said.

The ramen boy and ogre exchanged a glance with one another.

"Chad, I know what we're going to do today! Or, well, for the rest of the week," Shrek said excitedly.

"Yeah," Chad agreed. His phone then suddenly vibrated and rung loudly. "Hold that thought," the ramen-haired man said as he got up and left the room. He passed by Elsa as he left.

"Hey, Shrek," Elsa greeted in a rather dull voice.

"Oh, hello Elsa!" Shrek said cheerfully.

Elsa looked at her ogre boyfriend in surprise.

"Why, your spirits seem lifted. Are you feeling better?" Elsa inquired.

"Never felt better," Shrek said as he stood up and walked over to her.

The queen and ogre held each others hands as they stared into each other's eyes, then shared a kiss. They removed themselves from one another, looking at each other for a few silent moments.

"Shrek, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding," Elsa spoke up. "I was just... a little taken back that you still think of Shadow. I know how hard it is to move on from a relationship, I truly do. I know you still appreciate me despite your desires for Shadow."

"Aye, it's fine," Shrek replied joyfully. "I've gotten over Shadow, I don't have any reason to miss him anymore. I have you with me."

"Don't suppress your thoughts, honey," Elsa said.

"Don't worry, I'm not," Shrek assured his beautiful girlfriend. "I truly feel better now. I'm ready to start taking our relationship further, Elsa..."

"I'd like to see us progress too," Elsa said with a smile. The two begun making their way to the couch where they kissed passionatly. I should probably mention Shrek has been shirtless this entire time and also he looked dead sexy.

Shrek removed himself from Elsa a moment, remembering Chad. He had been on the phone for an awfully long time now.

"Hey, where's Chad?" the ogre asked.

"Who cares?" Elsa said suggestively...

* * *

Meanwhile, in the other room Chad was on the phone. He listened to the person on the other line. No words, just breathing. And then finally...

"Chad. We need to talk."

Chad slowly opened his mouth, breathing heavily. "What do you want from me?"

"We need you back," spoke the voice.

"And what if I don't want to come back?" Chad whispered.

"I am afraid that's not a choice. Ditch the team full of idiots and backstabbers. We need you back. If you don't return we will use everything in our power to take down your friends and bosses. Remember Chad, we control you."

"But..."

"Look at the directions being displayed on your phone screen right now. We're spying on you through the camera. Head to these directions right now unless you want your little island resort to go up in flames."

"Okay. I'll come, but just leave the island alone..."

Chad picked up his backup and put it on, then made his way to a boat he had hid near one the island shore somewhere in a barren part of the island.

"I'm sorry if something big comes up, guys," Chad sighed. "I promise I'll come back. If I can. If they let me."

* * *

At the secret training ground, Deadpool was teaching Magolor and Tingle all about the arts of being a mercenary. He managed to teach Magolor some very easy beginner's tactics, though with Tingle he wasn't having such an easy time. Instead of relying on swords and the likes, Tingle kept trying to conjure spells and magic.

"What... what exactly are you trying to do?" Deadpool asked, confued.

"Fairy first, mercenary later," Tingle replied. He then went back to making poses and spouting gibberish.

"What's up with him again?" Deadpool whispered to Magolor.

"He wants to be a fairy someday," Magolor informed.

"Maybe he should take fairy classes instead then," Deadpool commented. He suddenly felt a big vibration near his crotch. He reached into his pants and pulled out a device of some sort with flashing red lights.

"Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no! This is bad!" Deadpool shouted.

Magolor looked at him, scared. Tingle just resumed his practice.

"What's wrong? What's going on?!" Magolor shouted.

"We're in danger. They're... here," Deadpool said in a scared voice.

"Who is they?" Magolor screamed.

Without answering, Deadpool ran off, most likely to warn Shrek.

* * *

Shrek was still with Elsa, both of them sitting on the couch and cuddling.

"So how's your sister doing? I've been meaning to ask," Shrek said.

"She's been doing fine. She finally graduated recently. In fact, I forgot to tell you, but she's going to be visiting us soon. You don't mind that I told her of our base, do you?" Elsa said.

Shrek felt a little bit of worry and annoyance inside. He wished Elsa had consulted him before telling someone else of the base location, but he knew Elsa truly trusted Anna and he trusted her as well. Shrek had fond memories of spending time with both Elsa and Anna while at their house, whenever they hung out after school back in High School. Anna had always teased Shrek and Elsa about their relationship but she did so in a silly way that all three of them could laugh over.

"You know, maybe we should tell Phosphora about what Icarus told us the other day..." Elsa said.

"Yeah, we should do that soon," Shrek agreed.

_Hey kids! Go read The Hot Topic Krew Chaptar 21 to find out what the HECK Shrek and Elsa are talking about!_

Shrek, still keeping himself calm and relaxed, reached into his pocket to feel a trinket that he knew would calm him for quite some time to come. A lovely set of memories recorded onto a tape for him to view time and time again. Yes, Shrek had made a sex tape back when he had seen Shadow the other night. Except it was missing. Shrek felt himself freeze up inside.

Suddenly, everything shook. Shrek looked out the winodw only to see a giant wave crash against the shore and a big boat in the distance.

"What the hell... what's going on?" Shrek wondered aloud.

"Shrek, what is that dear?"

"I don't know. Come on, help me gather everyone and get them down to the safety room. We're going to activate the force field!"

Shrek and Elsa ran off.

* * *

Phosphora sat in her room, crying into her pillow.

"YOU'RE the one nobody likes! Why start being nice now? Nobody is going to change their mind about you!" she yelled to herself. "I've messed up. Since day one of this stupid group, I blew my chance. I have no chance of fixing myself up now. I can only be the 'bitch' they see me as, and if I don't act like such Nui and Anal will mock me. Maybe I should leave, maybe I should quit, before anything else happens. I've had enough battles for now."

Then Phosphora felt the ground shake. She looked outside her window only to see a wave approaching. She gasped, regretting her choice to habitate herself in a part of the resort so close to shore. She knew it was futile to run, so she took a deep breath as the water came rushing toward her and consumed her. She felt herself being pulled forward and tugged around in the water as she lost consciousness.

* * *

Meanwhile, a team of people were standing out on a giant boat, approching an island. The person piloting the ship was a handsome black man with a sexy eye patch. He held up a video tape in his hand, gazing at it with a smile.

"Haha, this is it boys. It's time to take down these villains for good. It's time we assemble, we have some fallen comrades to avenge..."

* * *

**No idea what to put here so have some future chapter titles!**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 18: The Assembled &amp; the Divided**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 19: Onslaught**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 20: Civil War**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 21: Shrek Flashback IV**


	18. Chapter 18: The Assembled & The Divided

**THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL CHAPTER 18: THE ASSEMBLED AND DIVIDED**

**Nothing will ever be the same.**

"Alright boys, it's time we get to work. Prepare the advanced government-funded lasers!" said the amazing eye patch man. It was none other than Nick goddamn Fury.

"Aye. We shall begin to launch our onslaught at this given moment," said Thor in his Asgardian accent. "Not only must we avenge the public, but our fallen comrade Captive America too."

"Poor Steve. It was only a matter of time before he'd fall though. How far did he think that shield of his would get him?" Iron Man said. The other members on board looked at him coldly.

"He could very well be dead and you think now is a great time to crack jokes?" Black Widow retorted.

"Did you expect anything better from him?" Hawkeye replied.

"Enough!" Fury yelled. "Now is not the time for heated banter. Right now we must ready ourselves, especially our newcomers."

Fury directed his attention toward a young redhead girl who seemed nervous.

"How are you holding up, Anna? We know this is your first time going on a mission of such grandiose scale, and with your sister confirmed to be with the enemy we know you must feel very unsure of things right now," Fury said in a calm, understanding voice.

"I'm holding up okay... I don't want for things to end badly, but Elsa has chosen a path of evil. If I have to do something drastic, then I know I can't help it. It's better off than letting her live the way she is," Anna said solemnly.

"If you want to back out, it's fine," Fury assured her.

Anna shook her head. "No, my decision is set in stone. I know what I must do. All this training wasn't for nothing," Anna said, holding a bow and arrow.

"Good to hear. Sorry we couldn't give you sword training like you requested, but we only had Clint open until recently," Fury said.

"Hey, she does do pretty damn good with a bow and arrow. It kind of suits her," Hawkeye chuckled.

The group then fell silent as a laser shot out of the giant ship, hitting the barrier of energy surrounding the League's island base.

"Why are we even here?" Howard the Duck questioned his twin brother, Howard the Dick.

"Hell if I know," Howard the Dick replied.

* * *

Shrek and Elsa split up, with Shrek running straight to the island command base and Elsa grabbing the various League members and directing them to a safehouse. She then regrouped with Shrek at the command base.

"How are we holding up?" Elsa asked, paniced.

"Not well at all. This force field is cheap! Should have expected such," Shrek shouted. He wiped some sweat off his ogre forehead. He slammed down on a button and a bunch of rockets shot away from the island, locking onto the gigantic oncoming ship.

Shrek turned on his radio to listen in on the enemies.

"Fire!" a voice cried over a radio station.

"Oh no," Shrek gasped.

A huge rocket shot out of the shit and hit the barrier. There was a huge explosion as the barrier shattered and the ship sped up and crashed into the island. Nick Fury and his Avengers all jumped off the ship and struck a pose.

"This is it gang, be ready for anything that comes our way."

Phosphora sat in the corner of the safehouse, looking away from everyone else. Deadpool, Magolor, and Tingle were on the other side, talking about their training and the likes. Magolor showed signs of fear as Deadpool comforted him.

"Do you think we'll be alright?" Magolor asked.

"Of course we will, we can fight whoever dares to show up ane challenge us," the mercenary replied.

"But will we all be okay?" Magolor asked.

"Yep! The three of us should be completely fine!" Deadpool replied.

"What about Phosphora?" Magolor asked.

Deadpool noticed the thousand year old teenage god in the corner of the room. She was looking away, but he knew she was listening anyway. He was still angry about the other day and wanted her to feel bad.

"I think a better question is, 'Who cares?'" he replied.

Magolor looked confused and sad. "I know she's mean, but she's a part of the team. We have to help her too, it's the right thing to do..."

Phosphora cringed a little as she felt tears coming. As she sat in fetal position, she looked down so nobody would notice her change of expression and wet eyes.

"They're here, Shrek. They're on the island. I don't think we can avoid a fight," Elsa yelled.

"I know, I know! But our team is basically half size right now! We don't have Dr. Mario, Nui, Anal, Metal Face, or even Chad! We don't even know who we're facing and we might be outnumbered," Shrek replied. He was panicing pretty badly.

"Outnumbered, yes. Are we overpowered though? Likely not," Elsa replied.

Shrek was about to reply, but he instead sighed and closed his eyes. He puffed a little, deciding to give in. "Come on, let's just get this over with," he said.

Shrek and Elsa ran across the island all the way to the safehouse, avoiding running into the foes. They threw open the safehouse door.

"Come on, everyone out. We have to fight, now!" Shrek shouted.

Everyone looked startled, but as they processed what Shrek said, they all quickly got up and made their way out of the door. Just as they did a hammer flew past them, narrowly missing everyone as it crashed into a wall.

_~Desire for All that is Lost from Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD ReMIX begins to play~_

"Halt! None of you move and none shall get hurt!" Thor yelled.

"Oh no, not THESE guys! I knew they were coming," Deadpool yelled.

"You KNEW these guys were on their way?" Elsa shouted at him.

"Yeah, but only since the ending of the last chapter," Deadpool replied.

"The last what?" Shrek asked.

"Nothing, nothing," Deadpool said, trying to reassure Shrek. "But we need t-"

"You all need to be brought to justice," Nick Fury... with a gun said. He held up a gun and pointed it at Shrek.

Thor's hammer flew into his hand, Iron Man floated in the air, Black Widow pointed her gun, Hawkeye had a bow ready, Hulk just stood there ready to unleash his rage, the Howards were just standing there, and Anna silently lifted up her bow.

Elsa looked at Anna in shock.

"Anna? What are you doing here?!" Elsa yelled.

"I'm sorry sis, but I can't help seeing you down this path," Anna said sadly. She choked a little and tried to look away.

"If you don't want to see me come down this path then why did you come here?" Elsa shouted.

"Maybe because I want my sister back?" Anna suggested. She looked up at Elsa which evoked a response, Elsa looking saddened and surprised.

"Enough," Nick Fury stated. "You are all surounded. So much as move out of turn and you shall be shot."

Shrek, standing near the safehouse door with everyone behind him, suddenly remembered something; he had a healing factor and Captive America levels of strength. Without hesitating, he charged forward and leaped at Fury, pinning him down. He grabbed the gun out of his hand and tossed it away.

Iron Man flew toward the gun as Elsa shot it with ice, freezing it as it came down to the ground. She grabbed it and tossed it at Shrek, who crushed it with his amazing strength. The pieces blew away in the wind as he stared down at Fury, sitting on him.

"Next move?" Shrek goaded.

A gun cocked nearby as Black Widow held up her gun and aimed it at Elsa.

Hesitantly, Elsa walked forward. Black Widow shot her gun, but Elsa quickly reacted and froze the bullet and sent it backward. It narrowly missed Black Widow. Elsa shot some more ice toward her and got her hand. Shrek got off of Fury and leaped toward Black Widow and ripped the frozen gun away from her, smashing it as well. Shrek felt a bow hit his back and turned around to see Anna, staring him directly in the eye. As Elsa took her chance to completey freeze Black Widow in the moment of confusion and silence, Shrek growled, and it was then all hell broke loose and the members of both teams started taking each other on.

Elsa got in the way of Shrek and begun to fight Anna herself. Shrek noticed The Hulk running over to Magolor, who Deadpool got in front of to sheild. Shrek ran over to The Hulk and grabbed him turning him around as the two begun to fight.

Hawkeye leaped at Deadpool and started to fight him as the two Howards begun to torment and fist fight Magolor and Tingle.

Iron Man and Phosphora begun to go at it in the air, with Phosphora usin her powers to stay afloat and electricity to move around quickly.

Fury ran toward Shrek, but Shrek knocked him back. However, while doing so Hulk managed to grab Shrek by the arm and squeezed it tightly. Shrek yelped as he punched Hulk with his other hand directly in the face. Hulk squeezed harder as he looked Shrek in the face, then growled with a yell. Shrek felt his ears blow back due to the sheer force of The Hulk's yell, scaring him.

Elsa kept shooting ice at Anna's bow and arrows, reluctantly trying to shoot some ice at her as well.

"You could at least try you know," Anna goaded her sister.

Elsa felt a tingle of emotions go through her as her very own sister teased her to fight on. She didn't want to hurt her and she knew Anna knew that as well, and that Anna would use it to her advantage.

"Come on, I'm not as fragile as I used to be. You don't have to protect me from others now!" Anna yelled at her sister.

Let's take a moment to reflect on the fact all of this originated from an originally somewhat tame story initially about goth Smash Bros. characters lamenting the fall of Hot Topic, which now has an amazing expanded universe, deep plotline, and has gotten so serious for a crackfic it's hard not to get invested in its story. And now this is a spin-off where Shrek is going through emotional turmoil as his character both morally improves and deteriorates and now we have fights to the death between sisters and also intense character development. As Rodin would say, "Beautiful!"

Meanwhile, Phosphora narrowly dodged some bullets from Iron Man. She shot electricity at him, but his suit seemed to negate most of it. She kept trying though, hoping she could possibly break through eventually. The two soared high, with Phosphora starting to tire out as she felt a bullet or two grace her, just barely off from hitting her.

Deadpool leaped around as Hawkeye managed to quickly shoot out gratuitous amounts arrows. Deadpool felt an arrow hit him in the butt.

"OW! I'd say nice aim, but I thought being blind was Daredevil's thing!" he yelled as he jumped behind a rock. He hid behind it for a brief moment before looking up again and ducking, missing another arrow by less than a second.

"I may have a healing factor but this still hurts!" Deadpool yelled as he took the arrow out. He jumped over the rock and ran toward Hawkeye, who started to run off too. He balanced his running with looking behind to shoot, Deadpool getting hit and lagging behind with each successful shot.

"Get back here!" Deadpool yelled as he took another arrow. His entire front side was literally covered in them.

Magolor and Tingle stood back to back as the Howards jumped around them and teasted them, taunting them.

_~Rowdy Rumble from Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX begins to play~_

"Come on, fat boy!" one of the Howards said. It was probably Howard the Dick because that does sound pretty dick-y.

"Yeah, you ain't got quack on us!" the other one yelled.

"What about the fairy man? Looks like a creepy. I bet he's not even a fairy," the first one said.

"Well at least we have to deal with the weaklings. If we had to go up against that Shrek or Elsa, we'd be screwed. Thank God the guy with ramen hair isn't here as well," the second one said.

"Not that we couldn't take them. They're so easy to manipulate honestly," the first one said.

Both Howards laughed, looking Magolor directly in the eye.

"Come on tubs, take us on!" they said in unison.

Magolor closed his eyes, going into deep thought.

"Aw, he's crying," one of the Howards said.

Magolor remembered his training with Deadpool, and how he taught him how to leap from one foe to another. Magolor had never successfully done the task with the training dummies, but he knew what he had to do. He concentrated, hoping his training would pay off.

As Magolor went into deeper thought, he went into a physical manifestation of his mind which was a small stained glass circle.

_~Dive into the Heart -Destati- from Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD ReMIX begins to play as Magolor gently floats down onto the circle~_

Magolor hears a familiar, scratchy voice.

_Honestly I have so many bows in me right now I'm probably about to cry._

"Deadpool? Is that you?" Magolor asked in confusion.

_Shhhh, don't question the voice, young one. You have chosen the way of the mercenary, and this is your time to awaken to your power. You are somewhere outside of time and reality, within your mind. Use this chance to awaken to learn what you must know to win._

"But, how can I do that? I'm in no physical condition to be as good as I need to be, not even close. In fact I don't even have a sword to train with," Magolor said.

_Fear not..._

A sparkling sword appeared in the air and floated downward. It had an end near the grip that was shaped like Magolor's hat. The handle was white, with the blade part of the sword appearing blue, with a rigid yellow pattern along it. The end of it resembled the Master Crown magolor had once worn himself. The blade was covered in a subtle blue glow.

_As your friend has already passed onto you..._

_...Don't let your physical state drag you down._

_Use it to your advantage..._

_...And you shall suffice._

_...Go now, and train._

Monsters suddenly appeared.

_~Fragments of Sorrow from the same game all these other songs were from begins to play~_

Magolor bashed his new sword against his enemies as he slayed them all, one by one in single hits. He started to see a bright white light as he opened his eyes to see the two Howards again, still laughing at him. He summoned his Magolblade and leaped at the first Howard, grabbing him by the neck and spinning around him once before slicing him in a diagonal slant, then leaped off of him and spinning forward with his blade, slicing down on the second Howard. He landed off to the side, holding his blade to his side like a badass.

"Magolor! How did you do that?!" Tingle asked in shock.

"I have awoken," Magolor said.

"You have also just killed two weak ducklings who were also on the good guy team," Tingle pointed out.

Realizing this, Magolor suddenly felt sick, but it WAS mostly self defense. Mostly. Magolor then looked off into the distance to see Phosphora being cornered by Iron Man. Without thinking, Magolor ran off toward the two, getting between Iron Man who was just about to fire his blast at a weakened, bruised Phosphora.

"Magolor?!" Phosphora shouted in confusion.

Iron Man laughed, letting his blast loose as he felt it reflect back toward him. The music faded out as there was a slight explosion and flurry of light. As the light went away, Phosphora looked up, well rather, forward, to see Magolor standing in front of her. He looked back at her.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," Phosphora stated in bewilderment but also gratefulness. She saw Iron Man emerge from a bunch of dust ready to fire another blast. "Look out!"

Magolor leaped forward and jumped at Iron Man, slicing at him with his Magolblade. The armor suddenly had a crack in it.

"Shit! I need some repairs before this thing gets too heavily damaged," Iron Man said. He tried to take off and blast away, but his engines went out immediately and he fell to the ground.

"Dammit! I'm out of commission!" he said.

"We'll leave him here for now, Elsa can freeze him later. That suits heavy so hopefully that and his fatigue keep him down," Phosphora said, still confused by Magolor's sudden bravery and power. Or the fact he saved her as well.

Magolor and Phosphora ran back to the center of battle as Fury spotted them. He sighed and reached into his coat and grabbed a tape. He pulled it out and held it up.

"Attention!" he yelled. Nobody looked at him until he pulled out a megaphone and yelled into it.

"ATTENTION!"

Everybody looked, and everybody gathered around him.

"This battle has shifted into the League's favor, no doubt. Which is why I am deciding to call a truce," Fury said.

"A truce?" Elsa inquired, wiping away some blood from a slight cut she got.

Just then a small ship docked nearby. Dr. Mario, Nui, and Metal Face climbed out. No sign of Chad or Anal.

"May I ask what the hell is going on?" Dr. Mario said, placing a chess piece into his pocket. Shrek thought it was weird he had such but discarded the thoughts for now.

"May I ask YOU what the hell is going on? Where have you been?" Shrek responded, making his annoyance and anger evident on purpose.

"I had a thing to attend to, a mission from Yoshi. That, and personal matters. Now with that out of the way, may you fill me in on the situation?" Dr. Mario calmly replied.

Shrek wanted to lash out on Dr. Mario, but he held himself back. Instead, he took a deep breath and looked at him calmly. "We're negotiating," the ogre explained.

Dr. Mario looked at the Fury, the Avengers, and Anna. He examined them carefully, taking in their prescence.

"Ahh yes, I know these people. They're the Avengers; a group of good doers. Why the hell are they here?" Dr. Mario inquired.

Shrek was fed up with the doctor. "Because your force field system was terrible, and we're screwed now. Let's just listen to what they have to say."

Fury chuckled, and held up the tape again.

Shrek saw the tape and felt himself freeze up. He felt a cold chill across his body, and he noticed Fury's eyes meeting his. It was the sex tape he had made with Shadow.

"I do believe that you do not want the contents of this leaked. After all, it contains many valuable secrets. I won't say what's on here or who it is of for privacy reasons, but if your group surrenders this tape shall be destroyed and discarded. Please choose carefully," Fury said, holding up the tape.

Dr. Mario laughed, along with Nui. "Ha, as if! Would you expect a group of such evil as ours to simply give in over a simplistic little tape. Please!" the doctor joked.

"Puh-lease," Nui agreed.

"Do I take it he speaks for the team? He seems to be the one in charge," Fury said.

"Believe me, I essentially am the one in charge around here. I am the strongest willed and true leader of this group. I say I speak for everyone with my choice when I say we fight back," Dr. Mario said.

Fury nodded, as he took out a device and opened a slot. He was about to put the tape in.

Shrek's heart raced as he glanced around. Everyone around him, all of his friends appeared to be crestfallen. Many of them looked unsure, and some had seemed incredibly tired. Some of them looked scared.

It was then Shrek had decided he had had enough. He had enough of Dr. Mario's awful ruthless evil, the mockery he had always received, the horrific crimes he had committed, and seeing his friends get controlled and pushed around. He was tired of Dr. Mario, Nui, Metal Face, Anal and Phosphora. He wanted to get far, far away from them.

"I object!" Shrek yelled.

_~Link to All from Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance begins to play because I've been listening to the OSTs from this series a lot lotely~_

"What?!" Dr. Mario shouted.

Everyone looked at Shrek in surprise; both his allies and his enemies. Fury gave Shrek a wide smile.

"So, it seems the true leader has spoken up. Tell me, representative of the League of Super Evil, what is your choice?" Fury asked.

"I surrender!" Shrek yelled.

"What the hell are you talking about? You can't surrender! You're the so-called leader, though not a very good one. You can't back out!" Dr. Mario yelled. "I knew you were weak willed... but giving up already? Whatever's on that tape must be pretty bad..."

"It's not about the tape!" Shrek snapped. "At least not just the tape... I've grown to realize I regret what I've done. I've been on the path of evil for quite some time now, and it's not a path I enjoy taking. I'm sick of throwing innocent lives away... I'm sick of being forced into communications with sick freaks like you! I'm taking my stand now, and if anyone would like to join me now is the time!"

Elsa looked at Shrek in awe, surprised by his change of character. She couldn't help but feel he was right, though. She truly did not enjoy being evil, either.

Tingle thought to himself about his position, remembering how he wanted to be a fairy. Deep down inside, he knew that a true fairy would not turn to evil.

Magolor desired to make amends for his past long ago, and he knew a path of evil was not the one that would help him do so.

Phosphora thought of how she desired to make her way to the brighter side of the group, and how she truly wanted to get away from Nui and Anal. She thought of how heroic Magolor truly was and how she wanted to make it up to him. She knew now would be a good time to switch sides...

Deadpool remembered how Nick Fury had trained him in the past, and how he himself did not enjoy being labeled evil. He also knew he wanted to be nowhere near Dr. Mario.

"I'm tired of who I've become! I don't enjoy where I am now, and even if I did I am committed to Shrek. I follow him to the path of light!" Elsa declared.

"True fairies are never evil!" Tingle announced, taking a stand near Shrek.

"Nick Fury once took me in to suck on the sweet milk of justice! I can't turn on him, nor can I turn on the good guys! I've made mistakes before, but I know deep down inside I am a good person. I feel like this is my only chance to make up for ever joining an evil group in the first place," Deadpool went on.

"I never wanted to be evil in the first place! I've become brave now, and I know I can stick up for myself. I've become so strong," Magolor said.

"So there you have it," Shrek begun, but cut off as he heard Phosphora begin to talk.

"I... I'm with them too!" she said.

Everyone looked at her, surprised.

"I'm sorry Nui, and tell Anal I'm sorry as well. Actually... I'm not sorry! I don't want anything to do with any of you! You all tried to make me believe that hurting others is fun, and you have little regard to the lives of others! You're all no better than Dr. Mario... I've made so many mistakes, especially by hurting Magolor. Even after I wronged him, he still risked his life to save me! It's only fair I join him with Shrek-besides, it's where I want to be," Phosphora spoke. She had a bit of a nervous edge to her voice.

Nui looked at her, clenching her fists as she did so. She let out a slight growl, before yelling at her. "Fine! Not like I liked hanging around you anyway!"

Phosphora smiled, glad to have gotten that off her chest.

Suddenly, off the shore Spider-Man and Captive America showed up, followed by Evil Deadpool.

"We're alive!" Spidey said dramatically.

"And I'm FINALLY free!" Captain America cried.

Nick Fury looked at the three in surprise. "Where have you all been?"

"We got stuck underwater after the League abandoned us on their ship before infiltrating this island. Now that the ocean is fully thawed we made our way back above," Spidey explained. "God, I love air. And also land."

"What is going on?" Captain America asked. He examined the League, split in half. He noticed a bit of a showdown going on.

"The League of Super Evil has split up, one side good willed and the other consisting of evildoers," Fury explained, standing in front of his precious little children I mean Avengers.

"I guess I know where I'm goin'," Evil Deadpool said. He walked over to the group of baddies and assimilated with them. Now there was a Deadpool for both groups.

Captain America and Spidey went over to rejoin their Avenger pals, watching all hell brake loose as the League fought one another. Shrek went head-on with Dr. Mario as Magolor and Nui sword fighted, Deadpool fighting Evil Deadpool, while Phosphora, Elsa, and Tingle fought the giant, dastardly Metal Face.

"Should we get invovled?" Iron Man asked Fury.

"No," Fury responded. "Let's see how this plays out."

_~Music from before fades out~_

The divided league kept brawling as the battle constantly shifted its tide, until it seemed as if the bad side were about to win with Metal Face having pinned down various foes and helping his allies take down theirs. Eventually, Tingle was the only one left.

"Kalooh... limpah..." Tingle huffed as he ran around, narrowly missing getting impaled, scratched, burned, or poisoned. He felt a great power stirring up within his heart, as if he had finally finished a right of passage. He felt his body changing as a bright light circled around him, sucking him in.

Tingle appeared in a white, beautiful void, with fluffy clouds all around. He landed on one gently as a path of light formed that went forward.

_~Prelude from Final Fantasy XIV plays~_

_Welcome Tingle... you have finally discovered the light. Your moral placement is now clear, and with that... you have been granted the opportunity for great power._

Tingle emerged as a beautiful fairy, like the Fountain Fairies from Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask... yes, Tingle had TRIANGULAR FAIRY TIDDIE!

"What the shit is going on?! I think we need to call back!" Fury said. All of the Avengers started to run back to the ship, but Fury stood a little longer to make an announcement.

"Meet me at the Avengers HQ. You have a week to decide on whether or not you shall truly surrender! If not, you shall all be perished or imprisoned!" Fury yelled. He turned around as Tingle floated toward him quickly.

Fury worried as he ran faster, until he felt someone poke him from behind. Knowing better than to attempt escape, Fury turned around to see Fairy Fountain!Tingle there. Tingle floated forward a bit and poked out Fury's last good eye with his triangular fairy tiddy.

Fury screamed in pain as his last good eye was now so damaged he was blind.

"Hey, he's like Daredevil now!" Evil Deadpool laughed.

Spider-Man shot a web at Fury and pulled him forward, pulling him onto the ship for a quick escape. The ship quickly sped off as a huge spotlight from the heavens came down on Tingle and he lifted up, singing a beautiful chorus. Tingle was eventually swallowed up into Fairy World, never to be seen again.

Tingle had finally become a wonderful fairy.

"Lock 'em up, Metal Face. Throw them into some cells. Make sure it's the super strong stuff, not the weak ones with the easily breakable bars. Some of them have some rather sharp weapons now and I don't want them to break free," Dr. Mario commanded.

"Yes master," Metal Face said as he collected the unconscious bodies of all the good guys on the team. They were all promptly placed in cells. None of them woke up for quite some time...

_~Beautiful Final Fantasy music fades out~_

* * *

That night, Dr. Mario got on the phone. He heard catchy elevator waiting music as the line was busy.

"Hello," a voice on the other line side.

"Why, hello-it is I, Dr. Ma-"

The person on the other line spoke up again, cutting off Dr. Mario. "I regret to inform you that nobody is current home. Please leave a message and ~Doofenshmirts Evil Incorporated~ will return your call. Oh and if it's about the piano it was sold already. Oh and if it's the doctor just enter the secret code and I'll pick up right now, immediately!"

Dr. Mario inserted a series of various numbers as he heard another person pick up the line.

"Why hello Dr. Mario, you called to ask on a status report of SHIELD, yes? Well with my SHIELD Spying-inator, I'm currently viewing the entire insides of their building," the voice said.

"Wonderful! If I could have that sent to me, it'd be nice. Say, I know you have a pesky nemesis... I hear he's quite a problem. What do you say you join my group and we help you take care of him? We are in dire need of more members, especially members who are evil geniuses such as you and I," Dr. Mario replied.

Doofenshmirtz's voice suddenly sounded much happier and flattered. "Why, I'd love to join! Here, let me just pack my stuff. Send the coordinates to your location and I will be there right away with my SHEILD Spy-inator!"

Dr. Mario did an evil laugh alongside Doof as he sent him a pic of the island's locations, the two diabolical scientist enjoying their pure evil... or something.

* * *

Shrek woke up with himself tied back to back with Elsa. He couldn't look at her but he could feel her.

"Glad you're awake, Shrek," she said calmly.

"Are we in SHIELD's base?" Shrek asked.

"No, much worse. I wish we were, that'd be much better. However I have to ask, 'love'; did you truly want to give in or is there something on that tape you're not telling me of?" Elsa said in a curious, slightly-tempered yet still calm voice.

Shrek gulped and he knew Elsa heard it.

"What did you see?" he asked frankly.

"Nothing. But can you please tell me?" she asked.

Shrek felt tense. He didn't know what to say.

"It's nothing," the ogre lied.

"It's nothing," Elsa said in a voice that made Shrek sting inside.

For a moment then, Shrek didn't care about his moral alignment. He just wanted to get his tape back, and he didn't care if it was by joining up with SHIELD or by ripping it out of Fury's cold, dead hands.


	19. Chapter 19: Onslaught

**Get ready, folks! This chapter is 7,333 words long not counting my author's notes, making it what I believe is my longest one yet! This chapter will be the most climatic and plot twist-y yet! Be prepared for all kinds of changes as the League of Super Evil makes way into a brand new era!**

* * *

Dr. Mario smiled as his new comrade, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz entered the designated meeting room on the island. Doofenshmirtz was wheeling along a covered device, that he presented to the evildoers at the table.

_~Doofenshmirtz walks into a meeting room~_

"So this is our new member?" Nui inquired, studying the handsomely ugly man. "He does give off a wonderful evil vibe, and we could use all the help we could get."

_~Xehanort - The Early Years from Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance begins to play~_

Doofenshmirtz smiled, pleased with Nui's interest. He was glad to have made a good first impression. "Why yes, I am," he greeted. "This bad boy here is my inator."

"Your what?" Nui asked.

"My inator. This inator is the SHIELD Spy-inator! It allows me to see the insides of SHIELD HQ. After all, I heard our team needs to spy on them!" Doofenshmirtz explained. He ripped the cover off and revealed it. It looked rather bulky and had a big red button on it.

"What does the big red button do?" Dr. Mario asked, observing a giant, red, and glowing button.

Doofensmhirtz looked at the button and looked back at Dr. Mario, smiling. "Oh, that's the self-destruct button."

Dr. Mario looked at the fellow doctor, dumbfounded. "The what? Why would you even add that?"

Doofenshmirtz looked down at the button and examined it. "I don't even know, actually. Funny, I don't even remember if it works..." Doofensmhirtz then skeptically hovered his finger of the button.

"No!" Dr. Mario, Nui, and Metal Face shouted.

Doofenshmirtz shook a bit as he pulled himself away from the button. "Okay, okay. You're right, that was a bad idea. Well, would have been. You see usually it's my nemesis Perry the Platypus who presses the button for me, he just-ooh-he really grinds my gears. At least around you guys I won't have to worry about it being pressed. At least from what I can tell so far, I'm still pretty suspicious about robot boy over there."

Metal Face looked down solmenly at himself, then looked back up. He gave a robot frown.

"I don't have time to point out your own moronic design flaws. Let me see your machine. As for Nui, go down and mock the prisoners a bit," Dr. Mario ordered. "I'll go visit them myself later after I've worked out a plan. Plus, I have to give a call to a good friend or two. Maybe I can con someone out of their green dorito and score us a new member..."

* * *

Shrek and Elsa sat back to back while Magolor was sealed tight in a box made of Edgetonium, the most rough material ever. Sadly, Magolor's Magolblade could not cut through it.

Deadpool had his feet and hands tied together as he hung upside down in the air. Phosphora was chained down with chains that would absorb her electricity and hurt her.

Nui came down, laughing dramatically.

"Give it a rest," Shrek said in an annoyed tone.

"Nobody is in the mood for this," Elsa said.

Nui laughed harder. "That's exactly why I'm doing this!"

Nui walked over to the outside part of the cell closest to Phosphora.

"So how does it feel being on the 'good guys' side? Do you enjoy losing? You could be out of here with me right now. I truly thought we were friends," Nui said mockingly, barely even looking at Phosphora.

"I really don't care about being your friend, you know. You're just a lowlife bitch who acts like she's hot shit," Phosphora replied agrily.

"Ooh, the language. I thought you were a little more tame than that. Besides, what makes you such a good person anyway?" Nui rhetorically asked. "One look on the security cameras and I can see you making Magolor cry harder than he's ever cried before. I can't believe you'd choose such a wimp over me."

"Don't respond to her," Deadpool said roughly. He seemed to be having a hard time breathing, poor guy. "By responding you'll only give her more pleasure in all of this."

Nui yanked on a chain as the chains on Deadpool and Phosphora got tighter. She then continued to press a button as they heated up, burning them. Magolor started yelling from his box about the ground heating up.

"It's not nice to ignore someone!" Nui yelled. "Don't just ignore me or I'll have to teach you some manners!"

"You're sick!" Phosphora yelled.

"I know, tell me all about it," Nui said giddily. She pressed the button and the burning stopped. "You know I didn't want to see you end up like this, you actually seemed cool at first."

"Like I care!" Phosphora yelled.

Nui gave her a wide grin in response, but before she could respond she noticed a small beeping noise from a walkie-talkie she had.

"Preperations and planning complete. Come back for a briefing now," Dr. Mario stated.

Nui let out an annoyed grunt as she turned her back to the prisoners and walked away as the music from before faded out.

The room was silent and melancholy.

"DO IT!" Shia LaBeouf shouted.

Everyone looked up, startled.

"Sorry, that was my ringtone," Deadpool said.

As the prison cell grew quiet once more, all but Shrek and Elsa dozed off again.

"Elsa," Shrek spoke up.

"What is it?" she asked in a flat voice.

Shrek thought about telling her of what he did with Shadow. He felt the need to be honest with her and to just break up with her, but... he still loved her too. Shrek felt selfish, and he didn't know what to say. He decided to keep quiet to himself, though he had no right to do so.

"It's just that... I think we should fight Nick Fury and the Avengers. We can convince Dr. Mario to let us escape that way and also get that tape back," Shrek said. "Believe me, the tape is important."

"I'll help you because I feel like your plan is the only one that will work, or we could all be trapped here forever. However I still want to know about what's on the tape," Elsa replied.

"I know," Shrek said. The room became silence once more.

* * *

"Thanks again for joining us on our exploits, Heinz," Dr. Mario said. "We don't have very many members due to our group, well, splitting up. We need more purely evil members on our side, in all honesty. We have two members off the team right now, those being Anal and Chad, though the latter would likely side with our enemy half of the team."

"Chad? I think I knew a Chad once an-wait-did you just say Anal?" Doofenshmirtz asked, bewildered.

"Yes, what of it?" Dr. Mario questioned. "She's a valued member of our team."

"...Nothing," Doofenshmirtz replied._ Wow she really oughta change that name_, he secretely thought. _Has anybody pointed out how awkard her name is before? Sheesh._

Nui came back up and took a seat at the planning table as Dr. Mario pulled out a simplistic remote control device which started a powerpoint on a giant screen nearby.

_~Antasma's Theme from Mario &amp; Luigi: Dream Team begins playing~_

"First and foremost, from our map studies we have learned that our plan requires the work of more than our small band and much stealth, meaning we can't just storm in there with Metal Face. We're going to need more than whom we have now to take everyone down, but we must pull off this heist. I have no idea what's on that tape. If its contents are leaked this could end up being fatal for our team. Besides, before SHIELD can get a report on us out there we need to take them down," Dr. Mario begun. "You spied on the ogre last night, right Nui?"

"That I did, sir. As everyone slept he talked to himself about the tape. He seems awfully motivated to get it back... I know for sure he'd be willing to fight Fury for it. Could we use him for this, albeit heavily monitored?" Nui reported.

Dr. Mario thought to aloud. "The tape could be very personal to him, or it could be related to the safety of this group. We can't take any chances. We have to take a gamble on him and the others. I can always poison them with my darts and needles if they try to turn on us. I have a remedy that could very well render Shrek and Deadpool's healing factors useless."

"Speaking of healing factors, where's Evil Deadpool?" Nui asked.

"I had to test out the serum, didn't I?" Dr. Mario said with a sly grin.

Doofenshmirtz suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"Genius thinking boss! Very resourceful!" Nui cheered.

"So, as for trapping the heroes..." Doofenshmirtz begun.

"Oh them? If we use Shrek, we could have him and Metal Face lure the Hulk out somewhere and fight him with their brute strength. Now for Iron Man, I've managed to hack into his JARVIS system. If we could get him to follow Phosphora off somewhere, I can use my hacking to render his machine useless and he'll plummet. Elsa shall face her sister, just for drama's sake... it'll be fun to see her suffer, after all! We can have little old Magolor sneak into the vent systems to drop down into Black Widow's room and poison her in her sleep. Spider-Man shall be handled by Nui, your scissor sword is perfect for his webs! Hmm, Captain America oh dear. I guess having Deadpool fight his little old hero would work quite well! I shall assassinate Hawkeye, and Doofenshmirtz shall talk to us all over microphone and keep an eye on the building cams," Dr. Mario explained.

"So this all works pretty well, I see. But we're just knocking them out, right? Not like killing them, right?" Doofenshmirtz asked shyly.

Dr. Mario, Nui, and Metal Face looked at him with perturbed glances.

"N-nothing. Carry on with the plan, I'll still help out by keeping watch. If I see someone around a corner turn I'll warn you guys!" Doofenshmirtz said. He was sweating, worried he'd get kicked out for not being evil enough.

"Nobody should be on the prowl. I hope. You see, Nick Fury reads a bed time story to each Avenger starting around 9:00 PM. Allowing each Avenger some time to get to sleep after they've been told their story, we shall strike at 10:30 PM. From then on we launch or onslaught while you compromise their camera system and security system. Locking their security system will lock most of the doors you need a special key card to open while in lockdown mode. The monitors inside the security room do not have them, so the plan is to shut them down and lock them in while we target the Avengers and once they're all down I can slay Fury and get that goddamn tape!" Dr. Mario explained.

Dr. Mario laughed an evil laugh as he went down to the prison room and looked Shrek in the eyes.

"What now, ye sociopath?!" Shrek yelled.

"I heard you'd like to get that tape back. I know it's in your best interest you get it back, and I will allow you to do so with us. Since I know you won't tell me what's on the tape, let me make it clear if it harms you I will not show it to anyone else once we get it back in order to make this a greater deal for you. If you or anyone on your team however so much as cross us you shall all be killed," Dr. Mario replied.

Shrek glared at the doctor with mean, piercing eyes. And then he said, "Alright, I'm in. But only to get the tape away from Fury."

Dr. Mario smiled as he took out some keys and opened the door. He had Metal Face haul everyone out onto a boat that would lead to mainland nearby.

Shrek secretly thought to himself though, about how he'd get the tape himself and destroy it, then make his grand escape to safety with his allies.

* * *

The ship set sail. Shrek sat around in a small, locked room on the lower story of the ship. His companions all begun to wake up around him, confused.

"Where are we?" Magolor wondered aloud.

"We're helping Dr. Mario. As much as it pains me to say it, it's true," Shrek replied.

"Why? I thought he was our enemy!" Phosphora yelled.

"Yes, but so is Nick Fury and the Avengers. I'm sorry but we need to get that tape back and take him down before he does anything crazy. You've heard the true tale of how they all came to be? There's nothing all that heroic about them, honestly. Trust me when I say they are a threat that is worth taking down!" Shrek lied.

"Well, they kind of do have shady origins... but they're definitely good guys now. Shrek, are you sure this is worth it?" Deadpool asked.

Shrek looked at him. Shrek felt unsure inside, but he gave Deadpool an ensuring look.

"I'm sure," Shrek said.

"Well... if this is our first mission as a bunch of 'good guys' then... I guess we'll follow you into war," Elsa said. She also seemed uncertain of everything.

"Then I guess it's settled. Come on gang, let's move out. We have a Fury to take down," Shrek said. He got up and knocked on the door. Dr. Mario opened it, smiling.

"Glad all of you are participating. Come now, up here. The ship is about to enter a small sewer entrance that should get us into the SHIELD HQ. A new friend of mine is watching the cameras," the doctor said. Everyone save for Shrek avoided eye contact with him.

* * *

Quite some time passed as LoSE finally arrived directly under the SHIELD HQ building and it turned 10:30 PM. Dr. Mario called Dr. Doofenshmirtz on a hologram phone.

An image of the evil Doof came out and was displayed on the ground.

"Cut the security," Dr. Mario said. Suddenly, the lights coming from the bathroom entrance above dimmed.

"It appears as if some of the electrical stuff is tied to the security system, funny. Oh well, carry on. I'll be watching the cameras and I shall warn you if any threats are on the prowl," Doofensmhirtz said.

Dr. Mario handed out a map to everyone with their destinations marked.

"Why do I have to fight Anna?" Elsa asked angrily.

"You're the only one that can hold their own against her or manipulate her due to your connection. Turn your reluctance to hurt her against her," Dr. Mario said.

"I am NOT hurting her!" Elsa stammered. She looked at Shrek and gave him a glare.

Shrek looked back at her and frowned.

"Just be careful when fighting her, and she'll be fine," Shrek said.

Elsa looked away for a moment, but then looked back. She grabbed Shrek and took him aside for a private conversation.

"Tell me what the hell is on this tape that's so important," Elsa demanded.

"Elsa, I can't," Shrek lied.

"Why? Do you not know what's on it yourself?" the snow queen asked.

Shrek shed a tear from guilt and stress. He was sweating heavily. He kept looking forward to all the upcoming bloodshed and realized it'd be best to just tell Elsa the truth, but he still couldn't come to say it, no matter how right it felt.

"Elsa, I know what's on there, but the contents could destroy not just everything we have, but this entire team itself. I promise you that I love you with all my life, but I just need you to trust me that this tape shouldn't be seen by ANYONE. I have no idea what Fury plans to do with it, but please, trust me... if you love me, trust me..." Shrek said as he kissed her.

Elsa finally broke inside and started to cry a little.

"Dammit, I want to trust you," she cried silently.

"Please Elsa..." Shrek whispered solemnly.

"Hurry it up!" Dr. Mario called. Shrek and Elsa let go of each other and walked back over to the group. Shrek examined his map and looked at the path to Hulk's room and noticed the note saying he'd fight the green beast with Metal Face. The instructions to lure him out were various random pictures of Black Widow.

"How will this lure him out?" Shrek asked.

Dr. Mario looked at Shrek, confused.

"How WON'T they? Don't you remember, Hulk and Black Widow TOTALLY have a thing for each other! They have such a deep romantic connection due to their tragedies and problems tying them together! They aren't forcefully paired, or anything! They ENDLESSLY LOVE EACH OTHER, duh," Dr. Mario said in a voice that seemed completely oblivious.

"Well, alright..." Shrek said. "So we create a trail of various random pictures and drawings you found off the internet and lead Hulk far away from the building so we can fight him?"

"Yes, exactly," Dr. Mario confirmed.

Dr. Mario then handed out headsets to everyone.

"Alrighty then," the ogre said. He rushed off with Metal Face, urgently wishing to get this over with as fast as possible.

"And I fly in Iron Man's window and act all cocky and get him to fight me and follow me, right?" Phosphora asked.

Dr. Mario nodded.

"Alright," she sighed. She flew off. She would have escaped but she heard a small beeping sound and knew Dr. Mario likely put a tracking device on her so she didn't bother.

The rest went up into the bathroom entrance. Inside the bathroom, Dr. Mario reminded Magolor of the plan to poison Black Widow. Magolor felt awful, but he knew Shrek wanted to go through with this plan... so he let Dr. Mario push him into the vent as the doc handed him a poison pill.

"Alright Elsa, Nui, Deadpool; you all go take down your foes. We split now, alright?" Dr. Mario said.

Deadpool and Elsa exchanged worried, saddened glances, nodding at Dr. Mario. The four then split.

* * *

Shrek told Metal Face to go hide off in the distance of the building, while Shrek created a trail of varios cutout faces of Black Widow. Shrek thought the plan was absolutely stupid, but he went with it anyway due to his desperation to get that sex tape back.

He placed down image after image until he suddenly heard a voice ring in his ear.

"There's a night guard about to enter the wing of you're in!" the voice yelled.

Shrek figured the voice was just the Doof guy Dr. Mario recruited.

"Alright," Shrek whispered. He got near the edge of the turn and as the person turned he grabbed them, and threw them out the window.

"Please just fall unconscious please just fall unconscious," Shrek repeated over and over again. He then resumed leaving his trail and kept going until they led outside and into the distance. Shrek took out a few more guards, as well as the receptionist. He did the classic stealth neck snap, how vintage!

* * *

Magolor tumbled around through the vents, tripping multiple times. He fell down a small drop or two as a part of his path, and for the most part he remained determined and focused. He finally emerged in a compact, organized room.

"This must be what the resting quarters look like for these guys... they look kinda empty..." he whispered to himself. He pushed the vent cover off and jumped out. He saw Black Widow sleeping there, peacefully. Magolor took out the pill Dr. Mario handed him just before he pushed him into the vent, and he looked at Black Widow. He couldn't do it.

"I'm so sorry, Shrek. It's not because I'm afraid, it's because I don't want to..." he whispered. He pushed Black Widow off her bed and rolled her over to the closet, then closed it and barricaded it.

"That should hold it," Magolor said as he started to hear banging on the other side.

* * *

Phosphora sat at the window of Iron Man's room. Tony was sleeping in his bed, shirtless and hot as always. The Iron Man suit was across the room, its cold dead eyes glaring at Phosphora.

I don't want to hurt him, even though this is the perfect chance to just finish him off, she thought. In fact I don't even want to be here at all. I know Shrek is the leader and all but lately he's had such a poor sense of judgement. Something is keeping him down and it could lead to the destruction of not just this team but innocent lives. I wonder what Magolor would do in a situation like this? In fact, I wonder how he's doing right now... he's probably found a way to improvise and keep Black Widow down without killing her.

"Black Widow down!" a voice said on the voice chat.

He did it! Phosphora thought to herself. She wondered how he managed to go about it or how he did it, but she know that he didn't flat out kill her. Phosphora then thought about destorying or stashing away Iron Man's suit. After all, without it he wouldn't be much besides a hot guy sleeping in his underwear with flamboyant hearts on them. Phosphora giggled, then grabbed the incredibly heavy armor. She flew across the sky, though without generating much electricity to keep her afloat in fear of attracting too much attention. She flew around the building and peaked in windows. She saw many things, including a SHIELD agent drying off from a shower while humming an orchestral piece from one of the MCU movies. She suppressed herself from laughing at it until she found the window into Black Widow's room. She saw Magolor there, sitting on the bed looking unsure of himself.

"How'd you do it?" she asked.

"Locked her in her closet," he said.

"Creative, but I think I have an even better idea to take down Iron Man," she said.

"You didn't just kill him or something?" Magolor asked.

"No, dork. I'm not gonna kill him," Phosphora said in a friendly tone. "I need you to use that handy blade of yours to cut up his suit though. Then I'm gonna drop him in the lake a few miles from here and have him float around in his underwear."

Magolor laughed at the image of that in his head as he summoned his blade.

"Okay, might wanna stand back while I destroy this stuff," Magolor said. Phosphora floated out the window a little as Magolor sliced the suit into pieces.

"Good going. After I deal with No-Armor Man I guess I could come back here to hang. We haven't had very many friendly conversations, you know, so it'd be nice to have one while everyone else is completing their part of the mission," Phosphora said while peaking her head into the window. She waved at Magolor before zapping off again. Once she got back, she grabbed Tony and flew all the way over to the lake and gently set him down on the water as he floated on his back.

"Huh, guess he didn't wake up because he's so used to flying around in the air all the time," she said, flying away to go back to Magolor.

* * *

Elsa walked through the SHIELD building, navigating her way to Anna's room via her map. However as she turned a corner she ran into someone she was not expecting; Anna herself.

Anna immediately pulled out her bow and arrow.

"Why aren't you asleep like your comrades?" Elsa questioned.

"Fury hasn't written be a bedtime story yet!" Anna replied. "But he'll be glad he never did!"

Anna pulled out a walkie talkie but Elsa blasted it with ice immediately, knocking it out of Anna's hand and freezing it.

Anna growled at Elsa a bit as she pulled out her bow and arrow.

"I got you back home from an angsty journey before, I can do it a second time!" snapped Anna. She launched a bow and arrow at her sister narrowly missing her.

"You're aiming for me and not the wall, right?" Elsa asked with a grin.

Anna froze a little, standing up a bit straighter.

Elsa continued, "You're not actually going to hurt me. You're only going to shoot fire you know I can throw off or just barely miss me, you're not that convincing. If you want me home so much you ought to actually try."

"You're right, I should," Anna said. She launched a bow and arrow which hit Elsa right in the leg.

Elsa yelped a little, looking up at her sister in both shock and anger.

_~Mad Rush from Bayonetta 2 begins to play~_

Anna shrunk back a little, but then returned the angry look. "If you're not going to come home, then I guess being a part of SHIELD is my job after all. As far as I'm concerned you're just another bad guy now. I'm letting go of all these hopes for you to realize what's right and what's wrong. I'm sorry, Elsa, but you, Shrek, and the others have to be brought to justice, even if that means death!"

"I think I have a rather good sense of judgement, sis, though not with the boys. Can't say I trust Shrek myself right now, but I'm getting a little tired of you showing up everywhere I go like it's your business. You don't have to do this, you know," Elsa replied.

The two sisters looked at each other for a brief moment before rushing at each other for a full on fight.

* * *

_~Doofenshmirtz monitoring cameras~_

Doof sat still, almost ready to fall asleep as he watched the camera displays. He begun to snore as suddenly Perry the Platypus crashed into the window. He quickly pressed the input button for his headset.

"My nemesis is here! At the base!" Doofenshmirtz yelled.

"Take care of him, dammit" Dr. Mario yelled. "And be quiet, patrol might hear you through my mic you know."

"Right," Doofenshmirtz said, taking his hand off the button.

Agent P looked at Doofensmhirtz in curiosity.

"So what do you say we do the usual here? You can destroy my inator I guess, I don't think we'll be needing it after this operation. Plus, if they need a new one I can always build a new one for them too you know," Doofenshmirtz said.

Perry looked at Doofenshmirtz with an annoyed expression, before he got trapped by a small cage. The two then went about their usual antics with Doofenshmirtz telling him his evil scheme or part of it, Perry escaping, and Doofenshmirtz having his inator destroyed. 

* * *

Deadpool entered a room as he came face to face with his hero, Captain America. The man looked at Deadpool with a serious expression.

"I know why you're here," the soldier said.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Deadpool asked.

"I cannot sleep. Something has me at unrest lately, probably a side effect of being frozen for an extended period of time again. But how about we get straight down to business?" Captain America said, pulling out his shield.

Deadpool nodded, leaping forward. He lashed his sword, but Captain America shielded himself. Deadpool hopped back, but jumped to the side to dodge Captain's shield. Deadpool grabbed it, tossing it aside along with his sword. He ran toward Captain America and began a full-on fist fight.

They kept fighting for a while, as Captain America and Deadpool both started bleeding and getting fatigued.

"You think your strength has anything on mine?" Captain America quipped.

"You think your life has anything on my healing factor?" Deadpool replied, kneeing Steven in his Rogers and punching him. Captain America fell unconscious as Deadpool dragged him to the side and locked him behind a closet.

"No need for unjust death today," Deadpool said as he sat down against the wall to take a breather.

* * *

Nui sliced through Spidey's door and entered, grabbing him and tossing him out the window. Nui jumped out after him as Spider-Man woke up, shooting a webbing and slinging down carefully.

"Thank God I wore my costume to bed tonight," Spidey cried. He shot some webs at Nui who cut them all up.

"Keep trying!" she shouted. She pushed her feet off the side of the building to fly toward Spidey a bit, who pulled himself up a bit to narrowly miss her. Nui grabbed onto a street light as she neared the ground, swinging on it a little due to the speed of her fall, before leaping off and landing.

Spidey came down too.

"What a wonderful night to try and get yourself killed!" he said cheerfully.

"Who, you?" Nui asked.

"No, you," Spidey replied.

The two then started to square off in the streets nearby the HQ. 

* * *

_~Mad Rush fades out~_

Shrek knocked on Hulk's door then quickly made a run for it to hide behind a turn. He backed up against the wall and listened to Hulk.

"Huh? Black Widow? Oh she's doing the flower trail thing again, but with pictures of her face! Makes sense..."

The green giant followed the trail as Shrek moved along as quick as he could, hoping Hulk did not see him. Shrek eventually got into the long ferns and crops some distance away from the HQ.

"Alright, lad! We need to make sure we take him out quickly and carefully! He'll be here any second!" Shrek warned.

* * *

_~Save Cereza from Bayonetta OST plays~_

Anna and Elsa resumed their battle as the two went toe to toe, nearly delivering fatal blows to each other.

"You don't really want to hurt me, do you?" Elsa mocked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, sis? Isn't that why you always shut yourself away from your problems, because you know you can't control your emotions and you just end up doing things like this?" Anna jeered as she got with a shard of ice that scrapped her skin.

"Stop reminding me about all that junk! It's in the past!" Elsa yelled back.

"Looks pretty current to me!" Anna shouted.

As the battle raged on, Anna kept mocking her sister, angering her. Elsa's powers began to rage and worsen, reacting to her mood and emotions. She started to let back on her restraints, and to use her power to her fullest extent. She began charging a blast of ice, which Anna glanced at. She began to run as Elsa chased after her, fearing for her life.

See what it feels like to be chased around by someone you think cares about you who just keeps mocking you and only gets in the way?!" Elsa yelled. She let loose on the blast of ice which shot toward Anna, piercing her. It completely shot though her as she fell forward, gasping.

Elsa suddenly snapped to attention.

_~Journey's End from Bayonetta OST plays~_

Elsa ran toward Anna, freaking out and crying while she did so. She kneeled down next to her sister and lifted her up, turning her back over to see her face.

"Anna? Anna? Are you okay? Did that ice scathe your heart? Anna?!" Elsa yelled.

Anna coughed, and opened her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said.

"This isn't your fault," Elsa cried.

"I made you do this," Anna said with a dry voice.

Elsa closed her eyes. "No, Shrek made me do this. If I hadn't come here this wouldn't be happening."

"That's not true," Anna coughed. "Dr. Mario and his cronies would have come here sooner than later."

"Actually, about them..." Elsa begun.

"What... is it?" Anna asked.

Elsa couldn't bring herself to mention she was willingly working with Dr. Mario, even if it was for Shrek. She just opened her eyes and looked at Anna.

"It's nothing..."

"Nothing..." Anna copied, before shutting her eyes. She seemed to have gone limbless to Elsa, as tears streamed down Elsa's face. She couldn't believe she had let Shrek bring her this far, or that she let her emotions and power take control once more. She bawled as she dropped Anna. She didn't care how loud she was or if she gave any sort of cover away, she just kept letting the tears flow.

* * *

Shrek got into his battle position as Metal Face just stood there. Hulk suddenly leaped out in all his rage as Metal Face held up his claw just below Hulk's landing spot. Hulk landed directly on Metal Face's claws and slid right down the pointy nails. Metal Face then flung the green man off his hang thing and sent him flyin into the distance. Hulk's shorts sadly fell off and landed on Metal Face's head. As Metal Face was distracted, Shrek took a run for it. He charged as fast as he could and rushed back into the SHIELD HQ building.

* * *

Dr. Mario silently snuck into Hawkeye's room. The man sat up in bed silently.

"Ugh, I wish I didn't have such bad hearing. I SWEAR I just heard something!" Hawkeye whispered to himself. Dr. Mario crept over in the darkness and simply jammed a poison needle into his foe as Hawkeye fell back down.

"That about does it. I can hear Elsa crying from where I am, so something must have happened to that Anna. As for Shrek and Metal Face with Hulk..." Dr. Mario muttered to himself.

He heard a mic open up as Metal Face said, "Master. Shrek is taking a run for it. I assume he is going to Fury to get the tape himself. Be wary of him and please make your way to Fury quickly in order to succeed."

"I knew this would happen!" Dr. Mario said to himself, pissed off. "At least Shrek is making things more interesting..."

_~Rage Awakened from Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD ReMIX~_ plays as everyone is seen running toward the top of the building at the same time, with Shrek in the lead to getting toward the top. Nui leaves behind an unconscious Spider-Man behind just as she was about to finish him off. Shrek runs and runs until he comes across an elevator that is shut down, so he breaks in and breaks through its roof, punching into the walls of the elevator lift and climbing up every story until he comes out on the final foor and runs through a short hallway, busting through a door and emerging on the rooftop view of SHIELD HQ. Nick Fury was standing there, at the very edge of the roof, hands behind his back and holding the tape. Off to the side was a very futuristic-looking projector.

"Hello, Shrek," Fury said as Shrek neared.

"So I suppose I can't just push you off this building if you're aware of my prescence, huh?" Shrek said.

"Nope, probably not," Fury said turning around.

"Look, let's make it simple and clean. Give me the tape right now. There's no need to ruin my love life," Shrek said.

"Ruin your love life?" Fury said in a surprised tone. "You don't even deserve Elsa after everything you've done! I'm doing her a favor. I honestly don't even know what she sees in your, Shrek. You're as gross now as you were back then, in looks and personality. No amount of fitness will make you appealing."

Shrek wondered how Fury even knew about him when Fury taught at different school, but then he remembered many cross-school field trips and the fact SHIELD had access to many classified documents on various people.

"Yeah, well what about your evil plot? The fact you're going to unleash this on the world just for fun? If people see this, they can get sick! I know I'm horrificly ugly... and I know if people see me getting intimate they'll get sick. You're doing this knowing thousands of people will die or get horribly injured from the true grotesque nature of me and this clip, and what about Shadow? If people see him with me of all people..." Shrek vented.

"Last I checked up on him, he was a lowlife goth trying to avenge Hot Topic, or partake in some grandiose adventure that could change the fate of the world," Fury replied. "Who cares if this embarrassses him? He could tell everyone you paid him a billion dollars to do it, and then it'd just go back around on you, Shrek. All back on you..."

Shrek leaped at Fury as they started to duke it out on the roof...

* * *

Captain America woke up. He heard a weird beeping sound coming from somewhere. He got up and followed the trail, and he followed it to the basement. He found a small ticking device with an outline resembling the shape of a foe. Realizing it was a bomb, Captain America immediately ran off to go warn all within the building. He looked all over every room but could not find his room mates. He gave in and started to run. He called 911 and launched a full city evacuation.

* * *

Shrek punched Fury as he limped toward the projector.

"How do you know your surroundings so well despite being blinded?" Shrek yelled.

"Ever hear of Matt Murdoc?" Fury said with a laugh. He suddenly then tossed the tape aside. Shrek ran toward it without thinking as Fury quickly got up and pulled another tape out and jammed it into the projector. Suddenly, the entire sky all over the world was filled with horrid images of Shrek and Shadow having ogre and hedgehog shrecks.

"No..." Shrek cried as a tear slid down his cheek.

_~Rage Awakened fades out~_

Elsa came running up and enters the rooftop view. She saw Shrek distressed as she looked up and saw it. All of her worry suddenly turn into sorrow, regret, and anger.

"You told me to trust you!" she yelled.

Shrek cried harder as Elsa neared him, dropping down to the ground on his knees and bawling.

"I'm so sorry Elsa! I janked up, I know!" Shrek screeched through his tears.

"But you still didn't say anything!" Elsa screamed, infuriated. She blasted ice to the side, just barely missing Shrek.

Shrek bawled harder, looking up at her with his face covered in tears.

"I don't want to look at your disgraceful face anymore!" she yelled, throwing more ice to the side.

Fury let out a joyous laugh as he spread out his arms and fell back off the rooftop. "Shrek got wreckt!" were is last words before there was a big splat sound.

_~Ventus from Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep begins to play~_

Elsa, emotionlly intense again, threw some ice at the projector. However, it simply froze rather than flying off. Despite the lens being iced, the image in the sky was still very clear.

"Stupid SHIELD technology..." the snow queen muttered.

Shrek looked up at her again, trying desperately to find words. Before he could speak she tossed a huge, piercing ice shard at him. It went through him and stung but his healing factor made him endure it.

"You've done so much behind my back... and I gave you my faifth only to see this... I knew you two weren't done with each other!" she yelled. Enraged and not knowing how to let her anger out, she unleashed huge blasts of ice into the sky which rained down like hail while she yelled.

The rest of the good side of the league came up to see what was going on. Everyone immediately looked away from the sky after a single glance.

"How long IS this godforsaken tape?" Elsa yelled at Shrek.

"I don't know, but I think it might loop... because of the projector..." Shrek whimpered.

Elsa let out a moan of disgust. "I'm so done with you..."

Suddenly, Dr. Mario, Nui, and Metal Face came out. Dr. Mario laughed the hardest he has ever laughed.

"I'd pull out that hideous tape for myself to keep, but it seems Elsa let her emotions get the best of her as always and she permanently froze that projector there. THIS is going to be in the sky for eternity! Or at least for a few years, until that projector dies," Dr. Mario begun.

Elsa turned around and shot ice at the doctor, who simply leaped back and laughed.

"Poor, poor girl. Foolish enough to believe an unlawful ogre. Listen dear, this place is going to blow any second now. You can escape with us or perish with your little comrades," Dr. Mario said.

Elsa looked at the pathetic Shrek and at the menacing Dr. Mario. She walked over to Dr. Mario and shook his hand.

"Welcome, Elsa, the Betrayed Snow Queen of Death. You shall work as the leader of The League of True Super Evil! Come hither, with Nui, Metal Face, and I was we escape in our blimp." Dr. Mario greeted.

Sure enough, a blimp was coming with the words "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated" written on it. It opened its hatch as all the bad guys and Elsa got on board, taking off quickly. Dr. Mario threw a timer out of the window which landed on the window.

"Shrek, we have one minute and thirty seconds to get off here and get away!" Magolor yelled, worried.

"Get your head in the game! Yes, you fucked up, pretty horribly, too. But stop pitying yourself and GET UP!" Deadpool shouted.

Phosphora just stood there, worried, confused, and unsure of what to say. She looked around and spotted Iron Man nearing the building, unaware it was about to blow.

"Oh no! What about Black Widow?" Magolor said as he tugged on Phosphora.

She simply looked at him with a tear in her eye as the timer went down to sixty seconds.

Suddenly, a bunch of blond ramen tentacles came out of nowhere and lifted the four of them up. It quickly took them and set them aside somewhere far away from the building in a forest area before they retracted and disappeared.

"Chad!" Magolor, Deadpool, and Phosphora said excitedly.

"But where is he? How did he save us just now?" Magolor said over Shrek's loud crying.

"Who knows, but let's be grateful. He may be gone for now but I have a feeling he's still with us," Phosphora said with a hint of hope to her voice.

Magolor, Deadpool, and Phosphora looked forward. They all had a beautifully horrific image of SHIELD HQ in the center with a video of Shrek and Shadow making out playing in the skyline while the city paniced and citizens ran around trying to save themselves. The view came to an abrupt end as the entire SHEILD HQ building blew up. After the dust and light settled. the video in the sky disappeared for a second as the frozen projector came flying toward Shrek, Magolor, Deadpool, and Phosphora. Shrek quit crying for a brief moment until the projector landed just perfectly for the video to be played back in the sky all around the world. Shrek tried moving the projector, but even with his strength it was too far jammed into the ground.

"Where are the citizens who evacuated going?" Deadpool wondered aloud.

"I'd imagine some may be going to Melee City. Don't know about the rest, though. I hope they all find shelter..." Phosphora replied.

* * *

_~Ventus Theme fade out as Xehanort - The Early Years plays once more~_

Chad sat in a dark room on a wooden chair, staring at three men who were sitting on a couch directly across the table from him.

"So, we let you save your friends. Now will you oblige, Chad?" one of the men said.

"Yes. So long as they aren't harmed by my actions, I'll follow your orders and demands now," Chad replied with great sorrow.

"Good, Chad. Very good..."

* * *

**Wow, that was intense! Sorry if it got to be too much for any of you! As this arc comes close to ending, major changes shall soon take place. Tune in next time for an yet another exciting chapter; Chapter 20: Civil War!**


	20. Chapter 20: Civil War

**THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL CHAPTER 20: CIVIL WAR**

The League of True Super Evil was sitting at their planning table at the island base. Dr. Mario had installed upgraded force fields that were far superior over the original defense system.

"Damn it! I can't believe they weasled their way out like that!" Nui shouted. She banged her fist down on the table.

Dr. Mario looked rather calmed, while Metal Face simply sat like the robot he was. Elsa looked blanky across the room. A jingle played that said ~Doofenshmirtz toying with odd devices~ while Doofenshmirtz toyed with a a bunch of little parts he was using to apparently make something.

"You know, I was thinking we could use a cooler name. I mean The League of True Super Evil sounds kind of... samey. Maybe we should try the League of Super Duper Evil instead!" Doofenshmirtz said after moments of silence following Nui's outbreak.

Dr. Mario sighed out of annoyance, taking a glance at Elsa. He wondered how truly distressed she was. Dr. Mario, while evil and cold; had experienced his own romantic distresss in the past. No, not just with his fallen love Pichu, but in the past as well. He truly felt sympathy for Elsa, sympathy being an emotion he experienced very little. He pitied himself for allowing himself to care. He was about to speak up and ask before the door randomly slid open. Wizzro came floating in.

"So, what's our first operation?" asked the floating genital.

Everyone looked at him with moot or angry expressions.

"Oh, sorry. Wasn't aware somebody died or something. Actually, didn't your team split recently? Where's that ogre?" Wizzro asked.

"The ogre is a piece of trash who we discarded. He's out there crying himself to sleep right now, I'm sure," Elsa replied coldly.

"Yeesh! Bad break up I see," Wizzro commented.

"We don't need any comments, Wizzro," Dr. Mario stated. "And yes, we did in fact split. Elsa is right, Shrek is trash. Not only did he cheat on her, but he doesn't truly hold up to his evil oath. Does he think anyone will accshrekpt him for who he is? Sad, gross ogre. He should feel lucky that Shadow ever gave him the time of night or that Elsa ever gave him an entire relationship. Not to mention the rest of the detached team members just being worthless as well."

Wizzro laughed. "I guess Shrek is ugly on the outside AND inside!"

"Truly he is. I hated the fact he was our leader!" Nui replied. "Just looking at him when he went over plans and the like made me feel sick!"

A piece of paper slid out of Metal Face with a picture of Shrek.

"Yes, and let's not forget he is weak both emotionally and relatively physically in comparison to us," the robot said.

An idea then hit Dr. Mario.

Shrek? No problem. He had a way of negating his healing factor, anyway.

Deadpool? Ditto.

Magolor? As if he'd present any difficulty.

Phosphora? No worries.

Chad, if he were to come back? Potentially a problem. So now with him out of the picture, it would be a great time to act.

"Guys, I say we go out there and fight them. Let's launch our onsalught against them now. We won't have to deal with Mr. Ramen Hair so taking them down is no challenge. We outnumber them, so we have quality and quantity on our side," Dr. Mario explained.

Elsa looked up for a moment and smiled. The thought of getting back at Shrek while he was down for the count made her smile.

* * *

Shrek lied down on the cold hard pavement, back toward his friends. He sobbed and sniffled continuously.

After the events of the Avengers Onslaught, Deadpool, Phosphora, and Magolor dragged Shrek around and acted on their own accord. They escaped into a sewer to sleep overnight and stayed in there for pretty much all day.

"It's REALLY hard to feel bad for him, with what he did and all..." Deadpool said.

"Yeah," Phosphora said. "I used to have some respect for him despite the fact he always talked rudely of Nui, Anal, and I. Now? Not so much."

Deadpool nodded. "The worst part is, I can't tell if he's crying because he lost Elsa or because he feels bad for what he's done? Maybe both? It seems awfully selfish of him, ugh."

"You're right. While he cries his ass off over everything, he can't even bother to lead his so-called team," Phosphora said, looking over at the crying ogre with an annoyed glance.

"Well, what do we do?" Magolor asked. "Maybe we should try talking to him?"

"Good idea, but God knows if he'll tell us anything," Deadpool replied.

The three were cold, unsure, and afraid of what was to come.

Shrek just kept sobbing as he remembered Elsa. He felt horrible and couldn't believe he let the entire situation escalate so far. He remembered back to how he felt when he found out about Shadow. Shrek couldn't believe he had made the same mistake Shadow had long ago. He thought of how Elsa trusted him and how he took it for granted, and worst of all; he also thought of all the lives lost trying to keep the tape unseen by everyone. Poor Anna was now gone alongside all of the Avengers. Elsa had so much faith in Shrek that she was willing to fight her own sister to the death and did so. Shrek hated himself more than ever now. He knew he had no reason to feel bad for himself about all of it, which put him on the edge even more.

"Get up already," Phosphora said.

Shrek turned around to look at her, wiping off some turns. The ogre sat up.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you feel horrible because of what you've done, accept that you screwed over Elsa and do everything you can to improve her betterment. Don't do it because you want her to like you again or even accept you, but do it because it's the right thing to do," Deadpool said.

Shrek just looked at him, sobbing some more.

Phosphora looked at Deadpool, agreeing with everything but wondering how he seemed to know so much about these kind of things.

"I... speak from experience. I've done many things I regret. I haven't cheated on anyone, but my past is full of awful things I've worked so hard to fix because it's the right thing to do," the mercenary continued.

Shrek stopped crying and then looked serious. "You expect me to do something? How could I possibly do anything while I'm like this?"

"DO IT!" Shia LaBeouf yelled.

"I'm surprised my phone gets service down here," Deadpool said as he took out his phone. There was a message saying: "Look behind you."

"Wait... my phone is silenced right now," Deadpool said.

Deadpool, Phosphora, and Magolor turned around to see a man standing there. It was none other than Shia LaBeouf.

"JUST... DO IT!" LaBeouf yelled. "Yesterday, you said tomorrow, so just DO IT!"

"I never said anything at all!" Shrek whimpered.

"MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!" LaBeouf replied. "DO IT! Some people dream success, while you're going to wake up and work hard at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!"

Shrek just sat there and continued his sniffling.

"You should get to the point," LaBeouf started, "where you get to where anyone else would quit, and you're not gonna stop there; no! What are you waiting for? DO IT!"

Shrek sat up, looking sad and confused.

"JUST..." LaBeouf started, as if he was charging up energy. "DO I-"

"I get the point, alright?" Shrek stated in a deadpan voice.

"Then what are you waiting for? DO IT!" LaBeouf yelled. He started to walk away, mumbling.

"I've shown up at some weird places to encourage some weeeeird people," he said to himself.

"Wait!" Phosphora said as she ran up to him with a pin and piece of paper. "Can I get an autograph?"

"Sure thing," LaBeouf said. He signed it quickly then magically vanished.

"JUST DO IT! YES YOU CAN - Shia LaBeouf"

Shrek then roared loudly.

"First mistake was letting Dr. Mario have his way. Come on, we're going to go fight him... as we are the Friendly Invdividual Worldwide Justice Organization!" Shrek said.

"No. I appreciate taking over their team name from before but we need something original," Deadpool said.

"Then why don't we call ourselves The League of Super Justice or something?" Magolor joked.

"We can worry about the name later. For now we're that," Shrek said. "The League of Super Justice!"

"Shrek, the ogre!"

"Deadpool, the mercenary!"

"Phosphora, the thunder goddess!"

"Magolor, the warrior!"

"Come on, let's go take down Dr. Mario and free Elsa!" Deadpool said. "There's no reason she has to take a path of evil, not even if it's in spite of you."

Chad was tied down to a chair while his ramen hair was put in an advanced hair net that would shock him harshly if he tried breaking out via his hair. He moved his body around though, trying to break free. He had little hope seeing as how he was tied with chains.

"Come on, Chad! Give in! You already said you'd do it!" one of the people said.  
"I don't want to do it!" Chad yelled.

"JUST DO IT!" one of the other three people said.

"I can't! I don't want to sell out! Never again!" he screeched.

"As three of the four members of Nickelback, we say you have to. It's a reunion concert or else! The world needs us, Chad," the third person said.

"What if I don't sing?" Chad asked.

"Then we'll track down your friends and kill them. No more Shrek or Wade Wilson for you. We'll even kill the others not affiliated with your little 'club' if you really want us to," one of the men said.

"DON'T!" Chad yelled.

"Then sing! Our blimp is hovering right above a concert stage right now where countless fans are waiting for us! Conceal your hair and put your stage disguise on! Right now!" the second one demanded.

Chad cried, as he relucantly nodded and was unchained. He got up as he put on the clothing and was pulled over to the exit of the blimp which lowered down steadily to a stage. He saw countless of fans chearing.

"What town is this?" the ramen man asked.

"This is a town over from our usual place; it's called Town 64. Town 64 is between your hometown that just got destroyed and Melee City. Thousands of people have come just to see this comeback concert," the third man explained.

"Well... I guess I'd better give them a show..." Chad said solemnly as the platform touched the stage and he stepped off.

"Yes, exactly."

* * *

_~The Hammer's Coming Down plays as Shrek, Deadpool, Phosphora, and Magolor are seen coming out of a sewer in Town 64 and Dr. Mario is seen in an aircraft with the rest of his companions, using a tracking device to he planted in each of the League of Super Justice members to locate them~_

"Shrek, there's an aircraft that looks like it's tranding to land on us!" Magolor said. The gang took a run for it as they ran through the city. They charged as the plane came closer to the ground.

Shrek and company turned a corner, spotting a concert right in front of them. The gang stopped.

"We have to turn back so nobody gets hurt!" Phosphora shouted. However, it was too late.

The plane made a narrow turn and hit the side of a building, then crashed near the audience. The plane caught on fire and the entire audience paniced, but Nickelback kept playing.

"He sounds familiar!" Deadpool shouted.

Within moments cars were driving around haphazardly as citizens kept running around. Nickelback still continued to play.

Five figures emerged from the burning plane as Shrek and his team approached.

"So, it's already come down to this," Dr. Mario said. "Never a dull moment for any of us, is there?"

"Let Elsa go. Not to come with us, but to be free. Also, I'm not going to make the same mistake with you like I did last time. This time, doc; you're going down," Shrek said. Ow the edge.

Elsa looked at Shrek as various emotions stirred up inside of her. She couldn't believe she invested so much trust and time into him when he only betrayed her in the end. He was truly a self-pitying hypocrite.

"I'm on the League of True Super Evil on my own accord, 'love'," Elsa mocked.

Shrek felt a pang of emotional pain, but it quickly subsided as he focused on being serious.

"Don't do this out of spite or me! You don't have to be on any team at all if you don't want to be!" Shrek yelled with a bit of despair in his voice.

"I know that. I don't have to be on a team, but I want to be. I'm where I want to be," she said.

Before Shrek could reply, Metal Face shot out some missiles and all hell broke loose.

Chad opened his eyes after clenching them shut while doing a pose with his guitar and saw his team fighting. Shocked, he stopped singing and just looked at them. The entire town became much more quiet as he looked down at his past allies fighting each other. He shed a tear, unsure of what to do. But then he had an idea.

Chad undid his hair.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" shouted the other Nickelback members.

"I'm doing what I think is right!" Chad announced, letting his ramen hair flow into the wind.

"STOP FIGHTING!" Chad yelled.

Nobody looked up.

"I SAID STOP FIGHTING!" Chad yelled louder. The mic echoed it throughout the entire town.

Everyone looked up.

"Who the hell are you, telling us to stop fighting?" Dr. Mario demanded.

"Yeah!" Deadpool yelled. "Wait, he looks familiar though..."

Chad then ripped off the rest of his stage disguise.

"It's me, Chad..." he said.

Everyone gasped in shock, including town members as the stage display was now being surrounded by broadcast vehicles that were airing it live on TV.

"I was the lead singer of Nickelback the entire time," Chad said.

_~Riku from Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD ReMIX begins to play~_

"But... how?" Phopshora said in shock. "How did you manage to keep this from us?"

"I'm so surprised, but Nickelback is so huge! You were a part of the League for so long yet none of us caught on?" Nui asked.

"But Nickelback wasn't always huge. It used to be so small. Until I messed with the timeline, that is. Magolor from the most distant future warned me about it once, telling me my band's popularity eventually led to him becoming Magolormore so he could make a song called Thrift Shop in order to wash away the fad of my band, however, it had disasterous results... being one of the few songs to play in his future. I found a way to increase my band's popularity to an amazing status but also have it quickly die out of interest before it could become a timeline-covering fad. However, my other band members became greedy in too, and as a repercussion I've had to put up with them constantly trying to push me for a comeback concert. I think what I did in the past might be the reason we're all divided now, so I thought revealing myself would be the best path..." Chad elaborated.

"Actually..." Magolor spoke up. "We're fighting because about half of us are good guys now."

"Oh, well shit then that reveal was probably a bad idea then!" Chad said awkwardly.

"MESSING WITH FATE IS ALWAYS A BAD IDEA," a voice ripped through the sky.

"Oh no..." Shrek said.

"Is that...?" Elsa wondered.

"YES, MORTALS. IT IS I ONCE MORE. ME, THE LEGENDARY BAE."

The Legendary Bae appeared in the sky in its giant disembodied head glory.

"YOU SAW ME VARIOUS 'MISSIONS' AGO, OR WHAT SOME MAY CALL CHAPTERS. YOU ALL WENT BACK IN TIME AT ONE POINT AND SAW GROUPS DEDICATED TO YOU, AND I WARNED YOU THAT THE BOTH OF YOU BEING NEARBY WOULD BRING ABOUT DISASTER. HAD I NOT WARNED YOU? I HAD, AND FOR THAT I SHALL TAKE ONE OF YOUR LIVES!"

Before Shrek could move, a beam shot from The Legendary Bae and pierced through Elsa. Her body quickly fell back as Shrek saw some sort of ghostly figure appear floating out of her for a mere moment.

"Elsa!" everybody shouted.

"THERE. NOW YOU CAN CONTINUE TO TERRORIZE MODERN SOCIETY WITHOUT BRINGING UP POTENTIAL APOCALYPSE. GOOD DAY."

The Legendary Bae vanished as panic around the city grew louder than ever.

"Elsa..." Shrek said.

"Come on Shrek, we need to go, now! The entire city is up in flames and the evil league already retreated!" Deadpool yelled. He grabbed Shrek and Phosphora, the latter whom was grabbing Magolor and they all started running away.

"Wait!" Chad yelled, running toward Shrek and grabbing everyone with his ramen hair before making two giant ramen feet and using them to quickly step away as fast as they could from the town. They hid away in the same forest they had after the climax of the previous chapter.

* * *

"Great! What now, doc? We've already lost another member! We could be bogged down one less if you hadn't carelessly killed off Evil DP either," Nui said.

"Oh please. Elsa may have taken some severe damage via her physical body, but all that entity truly did was cast her soul off to hell. However, her soul hasn't made the full transition. If we take her perfectly sustained body down there and take it to her soul things will work themselves out," Dr. Mario said.

* * *

**Basically COME BACK FOR CHAPTER 22 FOR BAYONETTA 2 BUT STARRING THE LEAGUES OF TRUE SUPER EVIL AND JUSTICE! Chapter 21 is another flashback though so it'll be a lil while before we dive into things.**


	21. Chapter 21: Shrek Flashback IV

Shrek sat solemnly, thinking about the unfortunate end to his former love Elsa. Thoughts came to mind about how he managed to screw her over twice-and only just recently. All he wanted to do was make it up to her, but alas she was gone.

Memories of Elsa came to Shrek as he remembered times the had in High School...

* * *

_"Leave him alone!" Elsa yelled one day. She got between Shrek and a school bully._

_"Oh, so now the school bitch is protecting the other school bitch? Bitch as in bitch and bitch as in wimp respectively," the bully replied to the girl._

_Shrek just sat there as Elsa defended him. He felt weak and pathetic having to let others defend him, and he was also deathly afraid of the bully violently lashing out on Elsa. He felt he needed to take a stand for her though, the same way Elsa had for him._

_"She's not a bitch..." Shrek said_

_"What was that?" the bully asked in an angry tone._

_"She's not a bitch!" Shrek yelled._

_The bully immediately let his fist loose on Elsa but she grabbed it and twisted his hand._

_Still grabbing hold of him, Elsa looked back at Shrek. "Can you please give me a hand?" she asked._

_Shrek, confused, got up._

_"What do you want me to do?" he asked._

_"Whatever you want, really. He was bothering you so you should be the one to get payback," Elsa replied._

_Shrek looked at the bully whose eyes were now full of fear. He was the pathetic-looking one now._

_"I don't want to hurt anyone," Shrek said. "Haven't you already stopped him? I'm sure he won't hurt me now."_

_"Fair enough," Elsa said, letting go of the bully, whom immediately ran off. "Say, if you want you could come back over to my place and hang out with my sister and I. I never really see you hang out with anyone around school is if you're lonel-"_

_"Sure! I'd love to hang out!"_

_"Heh, well okay. Just come home with me on the bus today and we'll hang out all day."_

_Shrek looked forward to hanging out with Elsa all day. The classes seemed to pass by quickly as Shrek awaited and envisioned what the time at Elsa's would be like. He was so exctied to finally have some friends. Mr. Drake even congratulated him when Shrek told him he wouldn't have time to talk to him after class due to going to a friend's house._

_Shrek and Elsa sat on the bus and ignore the chaos. Shrek was shy and didn't know what to say to her, so he just listened to her talk and responded to her whenever she asked him things. They were a few people who kicked their seats or taked about them from afar, but Elsa told Shrek to just ignore them._

_After about an hour on the bus, they finally arrived at Elsa's house. Shrek hung out with Elsa and Anna all day, playing video games, gossiping about school stuff, and Elsa teaching Shrek and Anna about social things._

_"So if Chad is okay, why aren't his friends?" Anna asked._

_"Because they're dicks. Chad himself is alright, but sadly misguided. I've been trying to get through to him for a while so he can stop trying to fit in with those dolts and start making sense again," Elsa replied._

_Shrek thought maybe Chad could be a friend too, if Elsa's words were to believe._

_The day passed on well as Shrek arrived home late in the day after being dropped off by Elsa's parents. Shrek remembered the day fondly as it was the first of many days when he would go to hang out with Elsa and Anna after school, almost daily. They were his two true friends for the longest time, until they slowly drifted apart after Elsa graduated. It was only until Shrek and Elsa were recruited into the League of Super Evil did Shrek and Elsa reunite. All Shrek had heard about Elsa after her graduation was from Anna, saying that Elsa had wandered off into the world and closed herself away from everyone. Shrek didn't bring it up upon reuniting with Elsa, he couldn't seem to find a way to ask her if she was doing alright without potentially accidentally offending her._

* * *

Thinking about things now, Shrek realized something seemed off about Elsa ever since he reunited with her and they fell in love. Shrke noticed Elsa seemed happier once they fell in love, but now it hit him that even then something seemed off about her. All the guilt of his own obliviousness finally hit him.

"I'm more responsible for this than I thought," he said aloud.

Deadpool heard him but knew automatically what he was talking about.

"It's not your fault she's gone. It was only your fault she switched sides. She could still very well have been lasered down by the Legendary Bae even if she still was on our team," Deadpool said.

Shrek was about to snarl at Deadpool but stopped himself. "That really makes me feel better," he said sarcastically. "However it would still be my fault because I'm the one who started the conflict between us that made the Legendary Bae return."

"Oh..." Deadpool said. He walked off because now he just felt bad and awkward.

Shrek sighed as he fell back onto a pile of leaves to fall asleep.

* * *

Dr. Mario analyzed the secret map of Town 64 he found on the deep web so that he could find some shady places.

"What are you doing, boss?" asked Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

"Finding a way to get Elsa back. I need to find a man capable of getting us into the Gates of Hell so we can retrieve her," Dr. Mario explained. "God forbid I tell you because I know you might mess this up."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz backed away shyly, letting out a small fake chuckle. "I see. In that case I'll go away now."

The room fell silent as Dr. Mario continued his search. He came across a tiny little bar named The Gates of Hell.

"This... this must be some kind of sign. I'll have to find a way to get to there within the remains of Town 64-before they block it off for reconstruction."

* * *

Meanwhile an certain evil green dinoaur named Yoshi was looking at top secret government files. He examined files on current world enemies and saw vague, almost info-less files on members of The League of Super Evil. The document seemed to have no idea the group split.

"While they may be known they aren't in any severe danger... perfect. They also seem to lack the knowledge of their split, which may be used to the great doctor's advantage."

* * *

**Sorry for the short flashback this time! There wasn't a lot to say but a little to set up! Tune in next time for Chapter 22.**

**Future chapter titles:**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 22: The Gates of Hell**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 23: Thanks Satan**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 24: Undoing Our Mistakes Part I**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 25: Shrek Flashback V**


	22. Chapter 22: The Gates of Hell

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 22: The Gates of Hell**

Dr. Mario scurried across the remains of Town 64, wearing a black robe in order to remain incognito. He prowled across the devestated streets as he came to the deepest, darkest alleyways of the streets. He entered a small underground path that eventually passed by a bar named The Gates of Hell. The doctor entered the bar, and immediately took notice of its neat asthetic and the classy music playing inside.

_~The Gates of Hell from Bayonetta plays~_

Dr. Mario seated himself up at the front row of seats. The bartender slid over a shot of booze to him.

"It's complimentary for finding this place; take it," the bartender with his deep, cool voice.

"I'm seeking business, not booze tonight-though I would gladly have a sip," Dr. Mario said as he took the entire swig.

The man laughed. "What kind of business do you seek?"

"Direction," Dr. Mario stated. "Though I wouldn't mind some extra man power either."

The man shared a look with Dr. Mario, seemingly devoid of expression with his sunglasses on. "I'm not exactly one to just 'help out' or anything. What's in it for me?"

"What do you want out of it?" Dr. Mario asked.

"Halos. You gotta off some angels in order to get them. Hope you planned on going to hell someday," the bartender replied.

Dr. Mario smiled coldly. "Easier said than done. After all, I'm not the most heroic of people."

The bartender stuck out his hand to Dr. Mario, whom grabbed it. "Rodin," greeted Rodin from Bayonetta aka the bartender.

"Dr. Mario."

"Glad to meet you. Now most people who come here ask about the real Gates of Hell. I suppose you're no different."

"I am certainly not any different. However my outcome will likely be more successful than the others."

_~Gates of Hell fades out~_

* * *

"I'm worried," Phosphora said. Magolor, Deadpool, and Chad looked up at her.

"About what? We have like twenty things to be worried about right now," Deadpool replied.

"Well," Phosphora begun, "I heard a beeping sound not too long ago. Back when we had to do that mission where we fought SHIELD."

Chad looked confused.

"What exactly has happened since I had to leave anyway?" asked the ramen man.

"Shrek cheated on Elsa and made a sex tape with Shadow," Magolor said.

"Yes, I can see that," replied Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickelback. "Because for some reason their tape has been playing in the sky and has looped a countless amount of times for what feels like forever."

"Yes. And in order to try and prevent the tape from leaking, Shrek decided to split up from Dr. Mario and a bunch of other members which made our team split. Afterward we ended up having to work with Dr. Mario anyway to completely terrorize SHIELD. In the end Shrek failed as Nick Fury played his tape into the sky via an invincible projector that's currently jammed into the ground somewhere nearby, and it won't budge. Also because of Shrek, Elsa had to kill her sister so she joined Dr. Mario and they have some new doctor guy who seems like an idiot. Then both sides of our split group went to war and you revealed yourself and now we're here," Deadpool explained.

"Okay. That's a lot to take in but alright I think I get the gist of it," Chad replied, looking rather confused.

"Sometimes the Shrek and Shadow sex tape is kinda hard to see during day time, if the lighting is good," Magolor added.

"Um guys," Phosphora spoke up, "as I was saying..."

"Right, go on," Magolor said.

"I heard an odd beeping sound during that SHIELD mission. I think they might have pinned down some sort of tracking devices on us," Phosphora said.

"Or maybe the beeping were the bombs? I heard beeping during that mission too, but I'm pretty sure all of the beeping were just the bombs," Deadpool replied.

Phosphora seemed unsure, but for now she let it go.

* * *

Dr. Mario, Nui, Metal Face, Wizzro, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and Rodin arrived at the Gates of Hell, inside of some mountain named Fimbulvetr. It was odly cold outside, so it was weird that it was so hot on the inside. Dr. Mario was gently holding Elsa's dead body in his arms.

"This is it. This is the place. If you want to have any chance at reviving her, you need to reunite her with her soul before it's completely absorbed into Hell," Rodin said.

The league stood on a small platform separated from the actual gates that lead in by an incredibly hot floor covered in flames and even splotches of magma.

"This is nice, but I don't think we can step across it," Nui said in a dull voice.

"You'd need someone invincible to endure that kind of pain. Hell, even then it'd be like torture," Rodin said.

Dr. Mario thought for a moment and he suddenly remembered two past allies who had handy dandy healing factors.

* * *

"So I guess we'd better get Shrek and take a move on," Chad said as he stood up. Suddenly a bunch of projectiles suddenly shot in from the sky. A bunch of cages with ropes tied to them then plopped down over the good guys.

"Sorry to take use of you all again so soon," said a mocking voice as a small vehicle lowered down. Dr. Mario was inside.

"See what I mean? Tracking devices!" Phosphora yelled.

"So you caught on? Surprising. Nui suggested I put one in you. She had a lack of trust in you from day one, honestly," Dr. Mario replied.

Chad immediately let his ramen hair loose but it was shocked by a force field surrounding the shield.

"Dammit!" Chad shouted.

"I need you guys, Shrek and Deadpool in particular. If you want to save Elsa, you'll all come with me," Dr. Mario said. Without waiting for a response, Dr. Mario lifted off on his vehicle while the cages tugged along into the sky.

Dr. Mario arrived back at the Gates of Hell with his captive foes.

"What took you so long? It's burning hot here!" Nui complained. She looked up at one of the cages and saw Phosphora. "Never mind. This is actually pretty funny and worth the wait."

Phosphora sighed upon hearing Nui's voice. It was enough to turn her already dour mood even worse.

Shrek was half awake in his cage. He had been thinking about Elsa ever since he heard Dr. Mario mention potentially saving her. Shrek knew the only way to even begin to atone for what he's done would be to revive her. He at least owed her that and then some. He didn't care about getting her back for himself or to make things good between them. He just wanted to fix the mistakes he made so she could be happy again. He knew he Shrecked up so badly.

The cages dropped to the ground as Dr. Mario hopped out of his machine.

"Why don't you just fly your machine across the lava, boss?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked.

"This place is heavily guarded," Rodin answered before Dr. Mario could speak. "If he even attempts to fly over the flames, they will burst and escalate so badly he'll die."

"So healing factors it is," Doofenshmirtz said. "Maybe I should build a Healing Factor-inator."

"I doubt that'd ever work," Wizzro mocked. Doof just frowned and looked away from Wizzro's direction.

Dr. Mario unlocked the cages. Shrek came out of his and peered across the valley of flames.

"What must we do?" Shrek asked.

"You and Deadpool must use you healing factors to get across this thing. You'll take this locket and use it to keep Elsa's soul within. Take it back to us and then we shall reunite it with Elsa's body," Dr. Mario explained.

"Why do you want to help her though?" Shrek inquired.

"Well..." Dr. Mario mumbled. "Because the League of True Super Evil is loyal to its members, whether they're valued like Elsa or not such as Doofenshmirtz."

"Hey!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz shouted.

Shrek looked across the flames and imagined the pain, but he didn't care. He was determined to help Elsa.

"Fine. I'll go through with it. Just don't expect her to stay evil forever," Shrek said.

"Whoa there!" Deadpool called. He ran up to Shrek and put his hands on his shoulders, looking at him seriously.

"Trust me. Healing factors prevent you from dying and constantly regenerate you so you just heal over and over, yes, but you still feel all the pain. This will hurt and you will feel like you're in hell though we wouldn't be there yet. And it could only be the beginning of something much worse. Once we get to that platform on the other side, there can be things much more painful for us. In fact I bet my ass there will be worse things in there," Deadpool said. "If you're willing I am too. But just make sure you know the danger."

"I know, and I understand. I still want to go," Shrek said.

Deadpool let go of Shrek and backed away. He gulped, preparing for the upcoming pain.

"Okay, I understand," said the mercenary.

Shrek grabbed the locket out of Dr. Mario's hand and put it in his mouth.

"Good thinking, that way it doesn't get burned and melt," said Dr. Mario.

Shrek and Deadpool then stepped off the platform, holding hands as they immediately felt the pain.

_~By my side from Xenoblade Chronicles X plays~_ as Shrek and Deadpool begin to slowly work their way across the flames. They go step by step, holding in all the pain and trying their best not to scream. Each step they grunt, squeezing each others hands harder. They can feel their flesh constantly burning off but immediately regrowing before it's completely gone. The two gradually vanish from few in the midst of the smoky distance and flames while The League of True Super Evil and The League of Super Justice watched from behind. They all saluted the brave duo as they walked on for what felt like forever. Shrek and Deadpool eventually started to null out from the constant pain as they dropped, finally reaching the other side as they both passed out for an hour.

_~Song fades out~_

Shrek looked up at the towering Gates of Hell as Deadpool knocked on them. The doors slowly started sliding open

~Boukyaku Keikoku from Xenoblade Chronicles X begins to play~

"I wonder what this does," Deadpool said examining a switch nearby. He flipped it as all the flames turned off and a bunch of cold water poured into the area, cooling off the rocks.

"...Are you serious?" Shrek asked in an annoyed voice.

Suddenly, the entire mountain shook as geysers broke from the ground. Magolor, Phosphora, Rodin, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and Wizzro were sent flying by them.

"Dammit!" Dr. Mario yelled, tripping and letting go of Elsa. "No!"

Elsa's body was sent flying across the valley previously full of flames along with the aforementioned others, Shrek immediately readying to catch her as she flew into his hands.

"Wait there, we'll run across!" Dr. Mario shouted. "Metal Face, toss us!"

"Can do, master," Metal Face said with his mettalic voice. As he picked up Dr. Mario, the mountain shook once more and lava started seeping in from the walls, returning the room to its previous state as the water flushed out.

The mountain shook twice as violently, with Dr. Mario and the rest having no choice but to exit as Deadpool signaled everyone to enter the gates so they could immediately close them as the entire floor was now lava.

* * *

"Hmm. I don't know who you are or what you did to piss that doctor guy off, but I guess I'm having to follow you now," said Rodin.

"Aye. Name's Shrek," Shrek greeted. "I'm not in the best mood right now."

"I know. Dr. Mario told me all about your pasts. I know everything about the League of Super Evil thanks to him. For now I say we set aside our differences. Hell is no place to joke about so I say before we get our shit fucked up, we best get this over with," Rodin said in a serious voice. Everyone else felt a little intimidated by him.

"Heheheh," Wizzro laughed as he passed by Shrek, Deadpool, Magolor, and Phosphora. "You'd better not pull any fast ones or he'll bash your skulls in."

Shrek just shrugged the floating genital off, knowing he was an piece of trash and a garbage cock (though not as big as one as Mewtwo. Not quite but close.)

"I know this is hell and all, but when you say that we'll get our stuff whacked up what do you exactly mean by all that?" Magolor asked.

Rodin laughed. "If you need me to explain the finer points of fucking shit up, I can tell."

So the gang trudged on in through some of the lighter layers of Hell as they made way through. Rodin told the gang about the dangers of Hell, and how they needed to reunite Elsa's soul with her body within a matter of days or she'd be lost forever. Doofenshmirtz told the League of Super Justice about how he came to join the League of True Super Evil, and then Wizzro begun to speak up about events happening with other teams on the surface as they went down a set of stairs and reached the second layer of Hell.

"Yeah, so that punk Icarus sent me to join your league," Wizzro said.

"Icarus?" Phosphora inquired, shocked on the inside but acting calm on the outside.

"Yep. He's been in charge since Day 1, honestly. Yoshi guy? He ain't much if you were wondering," Wizzro said.

Shrek felt bad for feeling afraid of Yoshi now that he thought about it, seeing as how he was a subordinate the entire time. He wondered if he and his group should perhaps join up with the Hot Topic Krew in their adventures or maybe take on Icarus themselves. After all, Icarus likely wouldn't take them so kindly after they split away from Dr. Mario and became a bunch of heroes.

"Icarus is so busy with things, so don't worry your pretty ogre head off, Shrek," Wizzro said. "He won't get around to assassinating you for a while. He expects us to take care of you anyway."

Shrek felt tense on the inside but didn't say anything.

The gang continued to walk in silence with Wizzro snickering to himself with his creepy laugh every once in a while as the went down another set of stairs, the atmosphere getting warmer and darker. Within moments of the third layer of Hell, Shrek and co ran into some demons.

_~Black tar from Xenoblade Chronicles X begins to play~_

"Go! Get to safety right now!" Rodin yelled.

"What?" Shrek shouted.

"Without her soul, Elsa's body is extra fragile. Wizzro and I will hold these motherfuckers off. You have to guard her Shrek, and take your friends with you. Just run!" Rodin shouted.

"The unneccesary language!" Magolor gasped. "But okay!"

"Hey wait! What about me?!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz yelled.

"Just go with them!" Rodin shouted. "We don't need you!"

Shrek, Magolor, Deadpool, Phosphora, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz started running as fast as they could as Rodin OHKO'd demons and Wizzro carefully toyed with them.

The heroes (and Doof) ran into what was essentially a maze, turning corner after corner until they came across a dead end. They turned around only to find demons cornering them.

"We are so royally danged now!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz yelled.

Everyone backed up in fear, carefully stepping back as Deadpool leaned against the wall. He started to sink back as he yelled and grabbed forward, accidentally pulling Phosphora back with him as they fell into the wall.

"W-what?!" Magolor stammered in confusion. Curious, Magolor pushed his hand through the wall as he felt himself being pulled in. Shrek with Elsa's body jumped through followed by Doofenshmirtz. The gang all got up off the ground as they looked around, finding themselves within a bunch of walls with a vine-like texture.

"I think we're... I think we're safe," Phosphora said as she got up and stepped off Deadpool.

"Yeah. At least I hope we are," Deadpool agreed as he stood up as well.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz felt awkward as he was the only bad guy there. Among the heroic Shrek, Deadpool, Magolor, and Phosphora he just felt odd. Then again, there was Elsa as well but she was dead at the time.

"So, uhh... what do we do now?" asked Dr. Doofenshmirtz nonchatantly, trying to shoot the breeze.

"We're separated from an idiot and the only guy who knows how to handle demons. I don't think we can do anything," Shrek replied in deadpan.

Phosphora was curious about the scientist. He seemed rather lighthearted compared to his teammates, which made her want to talk to him.

"So why are you working with Dr. Mario in the first place?" Phosphora asked.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz took a moment to respond, putting his hand on his chin in a way that suggested he was deep in thought. "Well, I guess it's because I'm evil, really."

"But they're a different kind of evil, right?" Phosphora asked.

"Yeah, yeah... they are. They're like PURE evil! And not the GOOD kind of evil, the BAD kind of evil! They just hurt people without any consideration and ooh it drives me nuts. But I'm a valued member of their team!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz explained, sounding a little unsure of himself.

"If you don't stand for their action-" Deadpool begun but got cut off.

"I don't know, alright? I'm just acting now, I'll think things through later on. But... I do pity you guys. Dr. Mario has installed tracking devices in all four of you and since I don't want him to like, kill you guys or anything I think I should take them out. I have the tools right here in my labcoat!" Doofenshmirtz said as he cut off Deadpool. He took out some tools from his coat and motioned everyone else over as he started to use his tools to (surprisingly) safely remove the tracking devices placed within them all.

"Thanks," Phosphora said.

"Yeah, I guess you're not so bad after all!" Magolor said.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz let out a small scoff. "Oh, I'm bad alright, as in the good kind of evil!"

"Sure you are," Phosphora said in a friendly tone, giggling a little. Doofenshmirtz smiled back signaling he was playing along, but he quickly frowned as he realized he would have to go back to the unforgiving Dr. Mario and the rest of his team. Oh how he already longed to go back to simpler times, such as fighting Perry. His thoughts were quickly wiped away, though, due to a startling rustling sound in the vine-like walls nearby. Everyone flinched as two figures came through, though they were only Wizzro and Rodin.

"Come on. We have work to do, and those demons know it. We only have a few moments before more come storming in. The 4th layer of Hell is nearby, so let's get a move on," Rodin said as he walked on by and started leading the way. Everyone followed him as they arrived at the 4th layer of Hell...

* * *

**Tune in next time for Chapter 23: Thanks Satan, where the gang shall travel further into hell. Whatever shall happen in the next chapter? Stayed tuned!**

**Also, quick announcement. LoSE has recently passed its halfway point. That's right, the tale of Shrek, Elsa, Deadpool, Chad, Dr. Mario, and the others is coming to an eventual end! There are about three more arcs left which means about three more Shrek Flashback chapters! Then I'm probably done with fanfiction forever lol.**


	23. Chapter 23: Thanks Satan

The League of Super Evil Chapter 23: Thanks Satan

Shrek, Magolor, Deadpool, Phosphora, Rodin, Wizzro, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz continued their way through hell as they managed to make it to Layer 7 after what felt like hours worth of pain and suffering. Edgy.

"Aye, how much longer do we have to travel?" Shrek asked, unable to wipe away his sweat due to having to hold Elsa. Oh how he had strong regrets over everything he had caused her. That would all change soon, as all he had to do was help find her soul and revive her. Once Elsa was back, Shrek knew he would be able to convince her to leave The League of True Super Evil. Even if she didn't join him with the good guys (which he would find reasonable) he'd at least be able to convince her to not be a villain.

Rodin chuckled, cracking his knuckles. "I was wondering when you'd ask again. We're almost past Layer 7, after this we just have to get past Layer 8 and 9, then enter Satan's bedroom. He's not going to take kindly to us so we might have to rough him up a bit. Shit always gets real when he's involved, so don't take him softly. And say your prayers; literally, because you're gonna need God's help to pull through this."

Shrek considered the situation and circumstances for a moment. It was true that danger was lingering around every step at this point. They had fought hordes of demons ever since the previous chapter had ended. The demons had just gotten stronger and stronger, though Rodin was able to OHKO most of them. Wizzro just contributed little while attacking like he was a great help, which was to be expected of a garbage genital general. Oh well, he could go to Hell for all I care. Oh wait.

"I'm surprised they didn't split each layer up by chapters," Deadpool mumbled aloud.

"What was that?" Magolor asked, confused.

"Nothing," Deadpool replied.

The conversation died as everyone walked on. They made it to Layer 8 and walked for a while until Rodin suddenly stopped walking and signaled for everyone to do the same.

"Hold up," said the sexy demon man. Or was he an angel? I don't even know I've never played the secret boss battles against him in either Bayonetta game. I'm weak. I'm a pleb who can't even play on Third Climax on Bayonetta 1 who hasn't even finished beating every chapter on Third Climax yet in Bayonetta 2, though the latter is due to time reasons and a huge backlog. I have to say, Bayonetta 1's hard mode is... well, really hard. I don't like it while I feel as if Bayonetta 2's hard mode is just right, and even then there's a higher difficulty mode for an even better challenge. Can't Rodin just OHKO you in the Bayonetta 1 boss fight anyway? These games, I tell you what. NINTENDO PLEASE BUY BAYONETTA AND MAKE IT YOUR TOKEN M GAME FRANCHISE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EVEN IF THERE'S ONLY ONE GAME PER A SYSTEM DUE TO BUDGET AT LEAST MAKE IT A TRILOGY.

Elsa's body started violently shaking, startling Shrek so badly he almost dropped her.

"What the hell is going on?" Shrek yelled with his intense and erotic, deep ogre voice. Like, the type of deep manly voice that turns you on regardless of your sexuality.

"Her body is nearing her soul so things are starting to become unstable! That means we're close! Her body is likely being held up in Satan's in-door swimming pool. It's where all souls go before they go to the true, deepest layer of Hell; Layer 10. Once anything goes down there it shall never surface again," Rodin explained. He walked over to Shrek and helped him get Elsa back into carrying position.

"Don't fuck up like that again. If you drop her, her body will likely shatter. Without a soul a body is as fragile as glass," Rodin said. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, smoking away. "Sorry if you get any smoke in your face."

Magolor coughed a bit in the distance as Shrek begun to worry. "So all we truly have to do is take her body to her soul and mesh them together, right? How easy will that be?" the ogre asked.

Rodin blew some smoke away as he took a deep breath. "It's not a scale of how easy it'll be. It's a scale of how painful it'll be. Satan won't take kindly to taking away any of his prisoners. We'll have to fight or at least sedate him to save your Elsa. Speaking of which, how come you fucked up so badly she died? I thought you loved her."

Shrek's regret stared to tingle inside of him again. "Well, I let desires get in my way. I didn't realize I already had my desires in her, and let myself lose faith in her. I didn't realize by doin so I became what originally hurt me," Shrek said solemnly, remember how Shadow had cheated on him once before. He couldn't believe he let himself become like Shadow and cheat on a loved one. He was sure Shadow had changed as a person by now, for the most part... but Shrek felt foolish for willingly hooking up with him after everything he had caused him.

"I see. So you couldn't keep yourself in one pair of pants, is that it? I don't understand your type, but you seem awfully sorry. Think she'll forgive you?" Rodin replied.

"I don't want her forgiveness," Shrek responded. "I messed up. I swamped up pretty badly, and I can accept that. I just want her alive again. This is all my fault and she didn't deserve any of this."

Rodin was slightly taken aback. "Huh," Rodin scoffed. "That's pretty noble. It seems you've changed a lot recently. You're not quite as bad as Dr. Mario makes you out to be."

On the sideline, Magolor, Deadpool, and Phosphora were listening in and were happy to hear of Shrek's dedication and glad he wasn't acting like a neckbeard over Elsa. Dr. Doofenshmirtz didn't really know what to think while Wizzro found Shrek's sadness amusing.

Shrek was a little curious. "What has Dr. Mario said about me to you?"

Rodin sighed as he tossed his cigarette aside. "Let's walk and talk," he said, as he started moving along once more. "He said you were relentless cheating scum. He described you as an emotionless ogre who only hurts others. Said you only pretend to be a good guy to further your own image and be accepted."

"Well..." Shrek mumbled. An then he kept talking. He told Rodin of his childhood where he was bullied constantly, how he made friends with Elsa in High School, and how he became a part of the League of Super Evil. He told Rodin of his entire life story and Rodin seemed to be really into it.

"You know, you're not so bad after all, Shrek," Rodin said. He was then interrupted by a loud, echoing metallic noise. "Stay back, it's a demon!"

"But we've been fighting them all day, how is this one any different?" Phosphora asked.

"This one is a guard dog. Someone's getting awfully pissed we're getting a bit close," Rodin explained as a big dog-like beast with three heads approached in the distance. It was running quickly, nearly leaping at the gang as it was within range of them in mere moments.

"There isn't any time to deal with this thing!" Rodin said as he dodged one of the beast's paws that was trying to crush him. "We need to hurry up and get to that girl's soul before she's lost for good."

Wizzro lauged, before suggesting, "Why don't we have some of us stay back and deal with this thing? Preferably us that can fly and float."

Rodin took a moment to consider the situation. He knew he'd need Shrek with Elsa's body and himself along to fight Satan, and he wanted to bring along Deadpool due to his healing factor. He knew for sure he couldn't leave Dr. Doofenshmirtz behind or he'd die, and he didn't want to cost the team any casualities.

"Phosphora, Magolor, Wizzro! Stay back and fight this thing. The rest of you come with me!" Rodin ordered.

Rodin broke out into a run as Shrek, Deadpool, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz trailed behind.

"Why did you leave Magolor back there? He can't fly!" Deadpool shouted as he ran next to Rodin.

"Kid's got heart. He can do a lot with that special blade of his. Trust me, kid'll be damn fine out there," Rodin shouted back. "Everyone, keep running! The stairs to Layer 9 are just up ahead!"

Everyone charged as they pulled through the long sprint between them and the stairs, avoiding various demons that were charging after them from all over.

* * *

Meanwile, Dr. Mario was sitting at the foot of the mountain along with Metal Face, Nui, and Chad. Metal Face was charging while Nui was sharpening her scissor blade, and Chad was grabbing a drink at the Fimbulvetr Mountain Base gift shop.

"Oh my god, it's Chad Kroeger!" yelled the man at the gift shop. "I can't believe you were the lead singer of Nickelback this entire time! I have such a man crush on you!"

"Thanks," Chad said unsure, pulling out money to pay for his water bottle.

"No no," the man said. "You don't have to pay. Take it, for free. For helping protect our world as the lead singer of a rock band."

Chad sighed. "Well I'm not very protecting now. It's only been a day or two since the reveal and I already feel it's a mistake. Now people are going to target my personal life. The bad guys are going to target the people I care about."

"Did somebody say targetting the people you care about?" said a devious voice from above.

Chad turned around to see Adam Levine and his cronies from Maroon 5.

"Maroon 5! What are you doing here?" Chad yelled.

"We're here to take you down!" Adam Levine replied. "You're weak and alone right now, as your other band members aren't here to protect you. After we're done with you, we'll take down your family and friends and grow as a band until we overthrow all of Nickelback and take your place on the charts!"

"That's inane!" Chad shouted. "You can't just do that! Besides, how will you guys get famous anyway? You're just a bunch of random white guys nobody can recognize!"

Adam Levine laughed. "Yeah? Well so are you."

"But..." Chad begun, letting his ramen hair flow loosely in the wind. "I have ramen hair!"

The ramen hair tentacles were unleashed as they grabbed each member of Maroon 5 and tied them together in a long strand of hair that detached itself from Chad as it thickened into a steel-like solid contraption. Chad grew more hair from the spot the strand detached itself from.

"Drats! Foiled again!" yelled Adam Levine, as the hair contraption begun to turn into a bubble and they floated away.

"Back to the Dubstep Prison with them!" Chad said.

Nui turned around, intrigued. "Dubstep prison? What's wrong with dubstep?"

"Not much, unless you're a grumpy person. However the Dubstep Prison ONLY plays the type of dubstep that sounds like Transformers getting intimate, and it's 24/7. Spending too much time in there will null out anyone's ears as they have to endure that forever," Chad explained.

"O-M-G! Chad please sign my chest!" yelled the cashier at the gift shop, ripping off his shirt to reveal rock hard abs.

Chad reluctantly pulled out a permanent waterproof marker and did so.

* * *

Phosphora used her lightning speed and powers to zap and float around the beast, while Wizzro had been simply phasing in and out of reality using his wizardy powers. Magolor just desperately tried scaling the monster over and over again, getting higher each time until he managed to get the top and whack at the beast's heads from behind. Occasionally, the monster would shake him off but he always made his way back up.

"I can't get weak now," Magolor huffed under his breath. "I gotta keep it up. If I don't I'll die..."

Phosphora was doing her best as well, but she felt wary being around Wizzro. He was the type of guy to betray you in the middle of a battle like this, and with the way he keep cryptically laughing Phosphora was considerably worried.

* * *

Shrek, Rodin, Deadpool, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz finally made it to the end of Layer 9 after charging for what felt like an hour.

"Should we wait for the others?" Deadpool asked.

"No," Rodin replied. "There's no time. We have to go in there and fight that thing for ourselves. When they show up they can lend us a hand and help us finish that guy off."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz gulped. "So you mean we really have to fight Satan?"

"Yes. We have to if we want to get that girl her life back," Rodin said calmly. "Is everyone ready?"

Shrek took a deep breath. "I guess I am."

Without so much as saying anything, Rodin kicked the giant door open. It slowly opened as a burst of flames were seen on the other side, fading out to reveal a giant red man in a bath tub. He turned to see Shrek and co. and shrieked loudly.

"What are you all doing here uninvited?!" he yelled.

"We uh... we came to find my friend Elsa. She was killed because of me and someone sent her here," Shrek explained shyly.

The red man looked confused for a moment, before chuckling. "Oh, I was wondering about that girl. You see, some girl recently ended up her but her soul was full of goodness. Been trying to flush her soul down the drain to Layer 10 but it just won't go. If you guys want her, you can have her back. Less work on my part."

"Really? Wow, thanks Satan!" Deadpool said.

"Actually, it's Satine," Satine said, using his powers to lift up Elsa's soul and place it near her body which Shrek was holding. Satine closed his shower curtain and went back to bathing as Magolor, Phosphora, and Wizzro came back.

"We finally took care of that big dog thing," Wizzro said as he gasped for air.

"Took a while... but he's gone now," Phosphora continued.

The shower curtain flew open, revealing Satine once more. "You did what to my pet Cerberus? You're all going to pay!"

* * *

**Oh no! What has the gang got itself into now?! How will they possibly manage to fight Satine? How will they defeat him? Or will they...? Probably, or the story would have to end or become a sitcom in Hell. Anyway, find out next time in the League of Super Evil: Chapter 24: Undoing Our Mistakes Part I.**


	24. Chapter 24: Undoing Our Mistakes Part I

_The League of Super Evil Chapter 24: Undoing Our Mistakes Part I_

**It's been a while since I've uploaded a chapter for this, but I pretty much have the entire rest of the series written out right now. I'm going to be steadily uploading the rest of the chapters from here on. I really want to hurry and bring this story to a close so I can move on from fanfiction both ironic and even the very few non-ironic things I've wrote. Life's just been getting busier and I realize I have no time to invest in overarching and lengthy stories like this either, so if anything is uploaded again besides chapters of these stories it'll likely be something a friend got me to write that I rushed out in a few minutes. But other than that, enjoy.**

* * *

Satine summoned his large pitch fork weapon that shot needles from the end of each point as he let out a battle screech. Everyone covered their ears as the shriek echoed through every layer of Hell, and even managed to make its way to the surrounding area of the mountain.

_~Fight Alone from Persona 4: The Golden Animation plays~_

"Shrek, go! Take Elsa and make it down the toilet's drain, it should take you to the Spirit Fountain!" Rodin yelled. "All you have to do is set Elsa's body down and her soul should naturally go back to her. It's the only safe place we have right now!"

Shrek nodded as he ran off toward the toilet across the room, which was giant to Shrek and his friends. They were so small compared to Satine and his room, it was jarring to them.

Satine jabbed his three-ended pitchfork to the ground, nearly stabbing Magolor, Deadpool and Rodin who all backed up.

"How are we supposed to defeat a giant?" Magolor asked.

"Well staying airborn for one is a good thing. Makes scaling this motherfucker easier," Rodin said. He notioned for Phosphora and Wizzro to begin flying. "He has no weak spots! Just keep doing all you can to damage him!" the man yelled as the two both took off.

"What do we do?" Deadpool shouted over Satine's loud, echoing laughter.

"If we get to close to him, he'll step on us. His feet are out of the question. Just keep shooting him from afar," Rodin said as he pulled out a gun.

Deadpool and Magolor kept shooting at Satine as they dodged his pitchfork thrusts. Magolor did the same but couldn't find anything to fight with. Oh how he wished he had brought his blasters with him...

"Think Magolor, think..." Magolor said to himself as he paniced, narrowly jumping over a sweep of Satine's pitchfork.

Satine laughed as Phosphora shot him with electricity and Wizzro shot him with dark balls of energy. They did very little, it was as if a bug just pinched him for a second as his thick skin seemed to negate every hit a little while after impact.

Magolor wondered if Rodin was right when he said Satine had no weak points. He thought about how large Satine was compared to the rest of them, and had an idea. All he needed to do was get to his head...

As soon as Satine jabbed his pitchfork at him, Magolor jumped up onto it and ran. He kept running as Satine immediately lifted up his arm, trying to shake Magolor off. Magolor leaped off the arm and landed on Satine's soulder, then summoned is Magolblade as he sliced at Satine's face, piercing him and giving him cuts.

"How are you doing this?" Satine shouted in confusion. He turned his head and saw the Magolblade in the corner of his eye. "The Magolblade wielder? But how?! How did a weakling like you get the Magolblade?"

Magolor thought to himself about what to say. Maybe he could say the power of friendship? Nah, that'd kill the moment. He got so hung up he didn't even know what to say. He almost felt kinda bad, so he was going to apologize and ask Satine if he was okay for some reason, but then shouted "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?"

Everyone froze, and some even gasped.

"Magolor! I thought you never swore!" Phosphora said.

"I-I-I don't! It kinda just slipped!" Magolor shouted. Out of confusion, he went back to slashing away at Satine, who started shaking violently in order to try and get Magolor to fall. Everyone resumed what they were doing and begun to fight Satine with the best of their ability.

* * *

Chad was wandering around the mountain base. For a mountain that led to Hell, it was oddly cold around the mountain. He wrapped himself up in ramen hair to keep himself warm as it begun to snow heavily. He entered a small cavern and sat down to rest. He had fought a few bands ever since his showdown with Maroon 5 the previous day and he needed somewhere to hide. He tried to fall asleep, but thoughts of his family and friends in danger kept him up.

"Oh God, why did I have to reveal myself..." he whispered, shivering.

Chad shut his eyes for a few moments due to his overwhelming tiredness. He opened his eyes again to see a faint light deeper in the tunnel. Startled, Chad got up and wrapped his hair around himself tighter as he walked forward. Suddenly, the light erupted as everything turned completely white. Chad clamped his eyes shut but opened them only to see white as far as the eye could see. A triangle appeared. It had a hat, and disembodied limbs floating around it along with a small cane. It laughed in its corny voice, then approached Chad.

"What are you doing out here around the entrance to Hell?" asked the triangle. "Not very safe. So many people on your trail make it much worse too."

"Who are you and how do you know about me?" Chad demanded.

The triangle laughed. "Well duh, everyone knows about you. My infinite knowledge has nothing to do with me knowing about you, actually. Well besides me knowing you're in deep trouble."

Chad backed away a little, hesitant of the triangle. "Who are you then?"

"I'm Bill Cipher. I'm from the Holy Trinity of Sexy Yellow Shapes."

"A holy trinity?" Chad asked, intrigued.

"Yeah we help people and watch over them and junk. I noticed you're in a bit of a pickle so I lured you in here to talk. What do you say we make a deal?" Bill Cipher said.

Chad thought about it. He was a little wary, but he was desperate to undo his grand reveal. He knew more and more bands would keep coming to wipe out his band. The industry would do anything to get rid of the competition, even if they were no longer in a band. The worst part was, each band that would come would be much more stronger than the one before. He didn't have the will to keep up the fight.

"What's the deal?" Chad asked.

"I make everyone forget in the world forget your secret identity so you can live without anyone knowing your secret identity, then you do me a favor!" Bill Cipher replied, sticking out his hand.

Chad took a moment to consider things. Anything this Bill guy would ask him would likely be something challenging, but he was up to the task if it meant saving his life.

"Deal!" Chad said. He grabbed Bill's hand and shook it.

* * *

Shrek grabbed the shower curtain and pulled it down with his amazing muscles. He dragged it along the floor, all the way back to the toilet and Elsa as the rest of his friends battled with Satine in the distance. He tossed the curtain over into the toilet as he put Elsa in a bucket and tied a rope to it he tossed up as well. He climbed up the curtain as fast as he could, gradually pulling it down as he climbed. He barely made it up on top as he stood on the surprisingly sparkly clean ledge and grabbed the rope, carefully pulling Elsa up. He grabbed her bucket, then jumped into the toilet with her.

"So one drain leads to a spring, the other to eternal suffering. Funny how that works out," Shrek said aloud. He couldn't hear himself though due to the loud noises of the water. He along with Elsa's dead body and soul went sliding down the drain slowly, but then it hit a slant and they fell down into a stream that sent them violently flowing forward. Shrek carefully held onto the bucket, remembering Rodin's words about a body being fragile once it no longer contains a soul. However maybe as Elsa's soul seemed to be connected to it ever so lightly, maybe it was starting to tougen up a bit.

The two then fell out of a pipe and landed right at a beautiful fountain in the middle of seemingly nowhere. The fountain was in the air, with pink clouds surrounding them and a sunrise far in the distance. Streams of water came out of various little tubes and hole making a beautiful visual feat. There was a small stand in the middle with a plaque on it. Shrek ignored the writing on the plaque as he set Elsa down on the stand, as the soul floated around the body gracefully.

"She'll be okay again soon. I know she will..."

* * *

Magolor launched into the air, somehow majestically floating with no explanation in true anime fashion. He lifted up his Magolblade which grew in size and started to glow, as he violently slashed against Satine multiple times. Satine screamed as he was literally sliced into pieces, unable to heal as he usually would from typical injuries. Satine fell apart as all his pieces poofed away, his dying screech's echo slowly fading away.

"We did it!" Magolor said cheerfully as he smacked against the ground.

"Are you kidding? That was all you!" Deadpool said. He grabbed Magolor and tossed him into the air while cheering his name. However, the cheering was cut short.

The toilet rumbled as an evil laugh could be heard coming from it.

"Dammit! That coward slipped away!" Rodin yelled. Without a word, he ran off and leaped a gigantic jump and landed in the toiet, going downward through the pipes.

* * *

Elsa slowly lifted up and the first thing she was was Shrek. She immediately wanted to die again.

"Elsa, I'm so glad you're ok-" Shrek begun.

"No. Don't even speak to me. You know what you did wrong, don't expect me to come crawling back just because you revived me. I didn't even want to come back to life," Elsa cut him off.

Shrek looked at her as his ears lowered as they always did when he felt sad. "Elsa, I don't want you to come back to me. I want you to come back to the world. I messed up and you deserve better than me, but you also deserve another shot at life. Please, come back home and don't serve the path of evil."

"It's not that simple, Shrek. I'm tired of life. I don't have any reasons to live and after you hurt me real bad I felt like the only one who still truly cared about me and valued me as my own person had betrayed me," Elsa said.

Shrek felt worse now. "We all value you as your own person. Your sister did too."

"No, you all valued me as someone you all need. Not me as a person."

"Elsa..."

"Shrek..."

"Please, just let me do this for you. I want you to live again and I want you to have the life you've always deserved. I know you've been going through too much emotional turmoil lately, and I want to help you or at least see you get help from someone. I can understand if you don't want to be near me."

Elsa looked away for a moment. She was deep in thought and didn't know what to believe in anymore. She got up off the stand, and looked Shrek in the eyes.

"Okay. I'll come with you, but once we're out of this place, I'm taking off. I'm not going to be on any sides for a while, at least not until I start to figure things out. Okay?"

"Okay. I understand. I'm happy you're for it."

Shrek and Elsa started to look around for an exit as a demon suddenly rose from the ground. It was a badly damaged, smaller, Shrek-height Satine.

_~Ying Yang from Persona 4: The Golden Animation OST plays~_

"Don't think you can go anywhere!" He yelled.

Shrek summoned his recently sparsely used Onionblade as Elsa started to summon an icy aura around her hands. Rodin slid out of the pipe entrance above with a giant ass sword. He sliced down as he fell, Satine barely dodging. Rodin stepped forward Satine, intdimidating him and causing him to step back. He kept going back and back until he couldn't move his feet anymore. He looked down to see them frozen in place. He laughed as he made himself catch on fire as the water below boiled, burning everyone's feet. Shrek tossed his Onionblade at Satine, causing him to trip back a bit. The water boiled warmer as Shrek tossed Elsa up onto his back.

"Aren't your feet going to burn too?" she asked.

"I got a healing factor and the other guy is practically invincible from what I know," Shrek replied. "Just keeping flinging ice at him."

Shrek leaped to the side, barely missing a stream of boiling hot water that Satine show upward with his magical pitchfork.

Shrek summoned his Onionblade as it reformed in his hand. He used it to block Satine jabbing his pitchfork at him, and then slashed at him as Rodin approached him from behind and cut him in half.

Satine yelled as his body somehow pulled itself back together and he sent blasts of water toward Shrek and Rodin.

"Shrek, now! It's time for the climax!" Rodin yelled.

Shrek knew well what Rodin meant. He started to suck in all the power he could, as he begun to charge energy. He let all the energy loose as he unleashed his fury on Satine, moving at the speed of light. Onionblades were all over Satine, surrounding him as they all sliced through him like some super amazing cliche anime finisher with no logic behind it and yeah up RIP Satine.

The entire underworld began to rumble.

"What's going on now?" Shrek shouted.

"This place is falling apart. With its ruler out of the picture, it has nothing holding it together. This place is going to crumble and disappear, and with that, we'l-"

Everything faded to white for Shrek and co. Everyone in Hell vanished, along with the gang back outside the mountain base...

"And our deal starts now."


	25. Chapter 25: Shrek Flashback V

_The League of Super Evil Chapter 25: Shrek Flashback V_

It all begun, years ago when Shrek lived back in his parent's swamp. He had a beloved brother named Shrack, and when I say beloved I mean hated. Shrack was awful to Shrek on a daily basis and always acted rude and crude to him. While Shrek was still very young, Shrack was already in High School when Shrek was in Pre-School.

Shrack was a big red ogre, much taller than Shrek. He had purple eyes, ear piercings and wore edgy eyeliner, and was one of the few last Red Ogres to live. Naturaly, as a Red Ogre he took an interest in his heritage and studied the way of the sword though his mother and step-father did not approve. However, Shrack always convinced her to allow him to continue his studies and practice of swordsmanship as a way to honor his late biological father. In fact, Shrack was the one who intitially told Shrek about the existence of the fabled Onionblade, though it was of his own spite and on accident.

Shrack would push Shrek aside and mock him. Their parents would always tell Shrack to be nice, but Shrack would push them off and never give them the time of day. He'd be ungrateful for all they did for him, unlike Shrekabelle. Shrekabelle was the middle sister of Shrek and Shrack. Shrekabelle greatly appreciated everything their parents had done for them, though she would eventually become rebellious due to conflicting views and eventual misuse of parental jurisdiction.

However, one day Shrek's life completely changed thanks to Shrack. It was Shrek's first day of first grade and Shrack was tasked with walking him home after school. Shrack had taken one of their parent's cars to drive up to the school. Shrek got in, asking him why he had taken the car despite their parents telling Shrack he wasn't allowed to drive after getting a speeding ticket. Shrack merely told Shrek to silence himself in a rude manor, then drove off. Halfway there Shrack had realized it was a Wednesday, which only meant that his mother would be home from work early. Shrack parked the cry and started bickering to himself and got worked up, being angry at himself and at his mother. With this, he decided to prolong his drive home much to Shrek's chagrin.

"We can't drive through that forest, it's dangerous in there! You can't just drive through it!" Shrek cried from the passenger's seat, wearing his seatbelt.

Shrack scolded him angrily, wearing no seatbelt. "Shut up, we live in a swamp; that's no better than living in a forest. And what do you know about driving? This is a shortcut."

"I know more than you!" Shrek snapped back, holding up his arms for defense. "You're not even using the turn-y stick thing!"

Shrack saved himself the trouble of hitting Shrek because he knew Shrek would just tell on him and because he didn't want to have to put up with Shrek in the car. Ignoring his brother, he shifted gears and started moving forward into the forest. They hit a few bumps as they passed along the muddy trails of the forest.

After a few moments, the forest suddenly grew dark and mysterious. There was nothing but darkness as far as the eye could see.

"What's happening?" Shrek yelled.

"How the hell would I know?" Shrack scolded.

Shrack swung the car door open and ran out, gazing around but all he could see was the car and nothing but black everywhere else. An image of a triangle appeared in the distance and it lit up as a laugh echoed throughout the area. Shrack suddenly started falling, downward and downward.

Shrack was suddenly grabbed by two arms that held him up and brought him to gaze up at a giant, lone eye. It illuminated a figure around him that had the apperance of a giant triangle.

"Shrek? Shrek where are you!" Shrack shouted.

The eye suddenly had a mouth that opened and laughed, scaring Shrack shitless.

"Sorry to barge in like this, but I have to ask you if you're willing to exchange favors..."

* * *

Shrack woke up immediately the next morning. He saw his family surrounding him, worried if he was oky or not.

"What happened?" Shrack said, sitting up in his bed.

"You suddenly passed out in the car..." Shrek said. "The car shot forward for some reason. I jumped out of it but you wouldn't wake up..."

Shrack immediately got out of bed and walked away.

"Where do you think you're going?" inquired Momma Shrek in an upset tone.

Shrack ignored her and walked away.

From that day forward, Shrack became quiet, though he was still a delinquent. He frequently left the house at night when not allowed and never spent any time with anyone besides himself. Or did he?

Shrek followed Shrack one day. He saw him return to the forest where the crash happened. Shrek carefully trailed Shrack in, watching him return to the part where he crashed. A glowing triangular figure appeared. Shrek carefully watched from afar, listening in on them.

"You can never go back from here. Are you okay with that?" asked the triangle.

"Yes. I'm ready for this," Shrack replied. "You're keeping your end of the deal, right?"

"Yes, I've already told you. Once everything's said and done, the Onionblade shall finally be returned to and passed down onto the next generation, duh," the triangle said.

"Okay, but you better not be double-crossing me, Bill," Shrack said.

"Why would I?" the triangle-Bill-asked. He snapped his fingers as a portal opened up. Shrek couldn't make out what was on the other side.

"Thanks Bill," Shrack said in a voice that seemed rather unsure as well as solemn. He stepped into the portal and Shrek knew right then he'd never see him again.

The portal instantly closed as Bill laughed. "No more Red Ogres now," Bill laughed. "Too bad he was so painfully unaware of me. Didn't his daddy pass on the warnings of the unholy triangle? That was almost too easy. Ah well, maybe I'll wipe out Blue Ogres sometime, but that Drek entity would kill me. Green Ogres are innocent enough to live. For now, at least."

The triangle disappeared and Shrek returned home, unable to sleep. Years passed and Shrek had never told anyone what had happened to his brother. He felt responsible, and the guilt pained him. He slowly dissociated with his family as his sister left the house to find a safe haven living with a friend Shrek would later know as Phosphora. Shrek had visited them many times when he felt lonely and wanted to get out of the house, as Shrekabelle was one of the only people he felt like he could trust during these lonely days. At least until he met Elsa. He remembered that one day they were both getting ready to go to some concert and the two of them seemed embarrassed, but when Shrek picked up the ticket Phosphora dropped to hand it to her, he remembered reading the words "Muppet Show" on the ticket. He felt it was kinda silly they were going to see that, but he didn't judge others. In fact he almost asked to come along due to wanting to spend time with them and not wanting to return home where he constantly felt guilty just being around people he had to lie to daily, people who acted rude to his sister.

One night, Shrek went on a walk, years after he lost his brother. His mother told him to come back home before it got too late, but Shrek was feeling too crestfallen to care. He walked through the rain, enjoying the calm nature of it as the rain beat against his raincoat. As he aimlessly wandered along, he started to slowly walk through the path in the woods where he had last seen his brother. He stared at the spot where the portal had opened up and shed a few tears. His sulking was cut short though, as he heard a sound in the distance, something in the bushes nearby.

Hordes of monster leaped out from every corner of Shrek's surrounding area, surprising him. The monsters looked grotesque, shadowy, and scary. Shrek screamed as he ducked and cowered. Before he knew it, he felt a sensation though. Shrek noticed a powerful feeling in the palm of his hand. He let it flow, and he noticed it becoming more and more powerful. With great gusto, Shrek screamed as a blade magically appeared in his hand. It was none other than the mythical Onionblade, the very one Shrack had told him about. With a burst of power, Shrek took down each and every enemy in mere moments. He ran home in fear, worried of more monsters he believed were yet to come. Upon entering the house, he threw his raincoat off over to the direction of the coatrack and locked himself up in his room right away.

"What the hell was that?" he whispered to himself, afraid. "That sword... it looks just like the Onionblade that Shrack told me about. It even as the onion scent to it..."

Shrek looked out the window and into the darkness of the night. Rain hit his face, but he enjoyed it. He just kept staring out the window, wondering how the hell he even managed to summon such a blade. He believed it had belonged to his old brother Shrack, but maybe since he was gone now it had moved onto him? Shrek was confused and sad. He missed his jerk of a brother and wished things had never ended up the way they had.

* * *

In current time, Chad Kroeger woke up in his soft, nice bed. His wife was right next to him, looking comfortable and cuddly. Chad carefully slipped out of bed without waking her up. Everything felt surreal to Chad. He had no idea how he suddenly awoke in bed, he just remembered being near the entrance to Hell and waking up the way he was a moment later. Full of worry, he quickly checked the mirror to make sure he was himself. He was still himself, much to his relief. However he spotted a note taped to one side of the mirror.

_Concert tonight 11:00 PM. _

_Meet up outside this dressing room._

Chad suddenly realized something was off. The deal he had made didn't just make everyone forget him... it made him go back. It sent him all the way back to when he was still in his band. Chad freaked out. Nobody knowing his identity was good, but being stuck together with his former now current band members was worse.

"Oh God, what do I do...?" he wondered.

He thought for a moment and suddenly realized what happened to the other members of both Leagues.

"Ah, I know! I should meet up with the others and see if they're any different. Maybe I wasn't sent back in time, but the timeline was just altered or something so that I'd be in Nickelback still. It's a bit of a gamble but I have no other options," he said.

Chad took out a piece of paper and a pen and quickly wrote a note for his wife. He slipped it into a note and left it next to her on the bed before slipping out of the window and sneaking away. His next step was to find Shrek...

* * *

**It's that time again! Future chapter titles:**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 26: Undoing Our Mistakes Part II**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 27: Muppetational!**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 28: An Overdue Bill**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 29: Intermission**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 30: Shrek Flashback VI**


	26. Chapter 26: Undoing Our Mistakes Part II

THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL CHAPTER 26: UNDOING OUR MISTAKES PART II

Shrek woke up in his swamp. More specifically speaking, in his bed. Shrek sat up in bed, sexy and shirtless. He looked down at his stomach and noticed his big ol' ogre belly. Sexy.

The ogre looked over to see Fiona lying down as well. Shrek was quickly taken aback. He hadn't talked to Fiona in ages. He didn't remember going to her either. In fact, the last thing he could remember was... saving Elsa. In Hell. Shrek frowned as the gravity of everything recent hit him. All the death and tragedy and venturing into Hell to fix it all. Shrek sighed, wondering how he even managed to end up in such a place. All he could remember was defeating Satine with Rodin and Elsa.

Shrek slipped out of bed carefully. He was naked, so he immediately went off to go find some clothing. None in the house. He stepped up to the doorway as he prepared himself to step outside. He had no idea why he was suddenly back in his swamp with his ex girlfriend, and had no idea why everything was suddenly the way it was. For all he knew, outside wouldn't even be his swamp but the middle of space or maybe the middle of a city. Shrek took a deep breath and flung the door open. He screamed as a man was right there outside about to approach the door. The man screamed back as his eyes ventured downward for a split second, quickly going back up to look the ogre in the eyes. Then Shrek realized it wasn't just any man. It was Chad.

"Chad! What the hell are ye doing here? It's like 10 in the morning!" Shrek yelled.

Chad flinched. "W-wait, you know what happened, right? Please tell me you remember everything and that this isn't some memory wipe thing..."

Shrek laughed, covering his massive junk with his even more massive hands. "No, no. I was kidding, but I am very tired. Where the heck is everyone, anyway?"

"That's what I came to ask you, actually," Chad replied. "I'm relieved to see you at your swamp, at least. If everyone went back 'home' that should make them easier to find."

Shrek welcomed Chad in to take a seat inside while Shrek went off to look around the swamp for clothing. He found some boxers, putting them to cover his vulgar ogres. Shrek then returned to the kitchen table where Chad was waiting.

"So how do we go about all this?" Chad asked. "Do we road trip them up and then find out what to do next?"

Shrek shrugged. "Sure, I guess we could," the ogre said, darting his eyes back to the bedroom door. He felt kinda odd. Simply put, he felt like he was cheating on someone who cheated on him who he cheated on someone else for. Then again, he never did get back into a relationship with Shadow, It was just a one Shrek-stand. If he was suddenly back home lying in bed with Fiona, what did it all mean?

"If everyone remembers everything it should be easy to gather them up," Shrek said. His expression softened a bit. "However, if we've all gone back in the past a bit... won't it be a bit hard on some of us? I mean I have one of the few possible loves of my life in that bedroom in there, someone I was forced to give up when I entered the League."

Chad looked reflective for a moment. "Yeah, but we're not a part of that League anymore. Maybe this is all a good thing? A redo for all of us, actually. Didn't you love Fiona?"

"I did... and I guess I still might... but Shadow..." Shrek whimpered.

"Forget him!" Chad said. "Look at what he did to you! Deadpool told me something about him screwing you over 'chapters' ago in some 'flashback' or whatever. I dunno what any of that means but it sounds like it was pretty bad."

"Shadow had an affair with me with that Ragyo girl. The woman he was seeing showed up one night at our house and she got her pregnant. He's had daughters with her. I know one is that Ryuko girl, and Satsuki..." Shrek explained.

"Yeah, well screw that. He messed you up and betrayed you. I wouldn't be surprised if he had another daughter with that disco MILF," Chad retorted. "He messed you up badly, don't give him any remorse. Don't go crawling back to him and don't let him crawl back to you, either."

"If I can't forgive him then how can I expect Elsa to forgive me?!" Shrek cried.

The room was quiet for a moment.

"Shrek," Chad said. "You don't need her love anymore. You messed up, if you truly care about her you have to let her move on for her own good."

"I know that! I want her to see me as a friend again, though. I want to make it up to her somehow... it's just that after everything that happened with her, I have no idea what this 'love' stuff really is," Shrek said. "I don't know if I've ever felt it. There was always Shrek who I went from idolizing to spending almost every day of our relationship with. I felt happy and safe, like I wouldn't mind life being that way forever... until it all fell apart and he started moving away from me until I found out he was cheating. With Fiona I felt like I could be myself, but she feels different from me too... like I won't feel happy with her throughout my life. With Elsa I felt great, but I feel like she and I only ever connected due to our circumstances."

Chad sniffled a bit, feeling sad for his friend. "Shrek, tell me; what is your sexuality?"

"Bishrekxual," Shrek replied.

"Then I'm sure someday you'll find a girl or guy or someone who just fits you fine. Just keeping looking, or just wait until they come to you," Chad replied.

Shrek looked up at him. "Thank You."

"No problem. I don't mind sitting down to talk every once in a while, I feel like our team could use more bonding," Chad said.

"Yeah... our team really could," Shrek said. "But speaking of our team, we need to go out and find them now."

_~Movin' Right Along (Alkaline Trio version) plays~_

Shrek and Chad drove across the country, in a montage that showed their campy van driving over the map and bouncing along. They drove across a few states and went into a field, driving across it and coming across a big ship in the middle of nowhere while a bunch of metallic looking guys fought in the distance. There was a sign outside of the ship that said: "Welcome to the Lor Starcutter"

Chad used his ramen hair to knock on the door all the way over from the van. Magolor instantly opened the door, looking overjoyed as he ran out of the ship and hopped into the car. The van then took off, speeding off in the distance as cops trailed behind with their lights on. Shrek floored it as the illegally modified car took off at warp speed, traversing from the planes of reality onto a map of sorts. They drove across the map, stopping at a place somewhere in New York. They got out of the car and climbed onto a bunch of rooftops only to see a sexy mercenary aka Deadpool with a pair of binoculars, spying on Spider-Man from afar and fawning over him. The tugged on the mercenary, scaring him. Deadpool quickly realized it was them though, and followed them back to the car as they took off again, using the car's boosters to fly into the air and go somewhere into the sky where they found Phosphora chilling on a cloud. Chad rolled down the window and notioned her over. Phosphora floated off the cloud and entered the car, which then lowered all the way down to the ground and took off as it drove off to a cafe to discuss things.

_~song fades out~_

"So, where exactly do we begin?" Phosphora begun.

"Hold the goddamn phone, don't think you can start without me," said a mysterious voice.

Everyone looked over to see Rodin.

"Dude, you came back!" Deadpool said.

"Of course I did. Shrek's an honorable man after everything he did for Elsa. I truly thought he'd be saving Elsa's behind as a way of getting her back for himself, but in the end he only did so because he did it for her. He knew he fucked up and did something right to save her, and that I respect. Dr. Mario can try and sway me over with Halos, but I honestly don't care what currency I make so long as I'm earning it. As a group of good guys, surely we'll get paid properly for all our hard work," Rodin said, completely chill.

"Well, glad to know you're one of us!" Magolor said cheerfully.

Shrek motioned Rodin over to sit down as a bartista came over and everyone ordered their various assortments of coffee and the whatnot. I've been addicted to mochas lately oh man somebody help me I'm supposed to still be on a diet.

Shrek sipped his mocha as he stood up. "I officially declare The League of Super Justice reformed. Now if I could get member titles from both Chad and Rodin..."

"Rodin, the weapons dealer!"

"Chad Kroeger, the guy with the ramen hair!"

At another table, a familiar girl spoke up.

"Hey, that guy looks kinda like that Nickelback guy..." the girl-who was actually Nui-said.

"Don't be ridiculous," said another familiar girl. It was surprisingly Anal. Hadn't she died while off on a mission though? (In the Hot Topic Krew) "That's obviously not him. There's no similarities besides the hair, and even then the mysterious Nickelback guy's hair has more flow to it. That guy's just trying to imitate him."

Phosphora sunk down, feeling embarrassed. But then she realized these versions of her friends seemed to lack the knowledge of who she was. She sat back up.

"That's right, we're in some sort of alternate timeline or universe. I guess the other guys didn't transer here with us... unless they're playing it safe," Shrek said.

"For now let's ignore them," Deadpool suggested.

"How about we check on the other counterparts and see if there's any signs of them around here. Sound like a good idea?" Rodin chimed in.

"Yeah, good idea," Shrek said. "Let's take our drinks out and go search for ourselves."

The gang wandered into a library, surprised to be greeted almost right away by Dr. Mario and Pichu, whom he was holding hands with.

"Dr. Mario?" everyone yelled in surprise.

"Um... yes? That's what my name tag says..." the doctor replied shyly.

"Honey, who are these people?" Pichu asked, confused.

Shrek looked in the back of the library to see Metal Face putting away books while playing calming music from speakers he had installed.

"It's... nothing. Ignore us. We're dumb," Shrek hurriedly said, quickly working his way out of the library as everyone followed.

The gang then left to go look at a building in the distance. It read "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated" on it.

~Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated~

Shrek knocked on the door as a voice welcomed everyone in. Everyone piled into an elevator which quickly lifted up, taking everyone up to a room where a scientist was seen tinkering with a device.

"Oh. I wasn't expecting any of you, I though my nemesis Perry the Platyppus would be showing up instead," said the hunched scientist man that looked like a pharmacist.

"Uhh, we were just here for a tour," Chad lied.

"Hmmm. Well I'm kinda busy right now. I wouldn't have time for anything like that, I need to finish adding this self destruct button to my device for when my nemesis Perry the Platypus gets here. He's going to thwart me!" Doofenshmirtz replied. He seemed to be completely unaware of whom everyone was-similar to both Anal and Nui.

Shrek had everyone huddle together.

"Obviously, something's going on if nobody can remember us, except for us good guys. Nui wasn't oblivious to us, and somehow Anal is alive again. I could have sworn she was killed on her mission to Melee City..." Shrek said.

"Yeah, it is kinda weird," Chad agreed. "But hey... we don't have the full team back together."

"Yeah, we're missing someone," Magolor said.

"What are you guys talking about?" Shrek asked nervously.

"Yeah, what ARE you guys talking about?" Doofenshmirtz asked from afar.

Everyone looked over at the pharmacist, highly embarrassed of the attention they grabbed.

"Oh, it's nothing important. We'll be on our way right now," Deadpool said. He walked toward the elevator and everyone followed.

The ride down was oddly silent, everyone waiting to get outside to continue the conversation.

"But what about Els-" Phosphora spoke up.

"Nope. No idea who you're talking about," Shrek said.

"Gigs up, Shrek. We know you're trying not to bring up Elsa. What good does avoiding her do for us anyway?" Rodin interrupted.

"It's not for the good of us, it's for the good of her. Who knows how she's doing her in this weird alternate reality? It seems to act like some sort of reset for all of us, placing us back with loved ones. She's likely back home in Arendelle with a lovely person and her sister," Shrek explained. "I don't want to take that away from her."

"I understand and respect that," Chad stated.

Everyone agreed with Chad.

"However, she's a crucial member of everything. We should at least go to her and explain what's going on," Chad continued. "She deserves to know."

Everyone agreed a second time.

"No," Shrek simply stated. "I do not want her to be dragged in."

"She doesn't have to be," Rodin said. "She should at the very least be alerted. Once that's over with, we can find out where to go from here."

"As Team Leader, I say no," Shrek instilled once more.

"Well everyone else unanimously agrees we should, so like it or not we shall go visit Elsa," Phosphora said.

Shrek looked at her with an annoyed face.

"Then it's settled. Everyone to the car," Rodin said.

Everyone started to walk to the car as Shrek sagged his shoulders down. Deadpool patted his back and told him it'd be okay and to hurry up and get to the car.

The car quickly took off and started flying across the sky with amazing precision, making mockery of the clouds and airplanes in the sky. It lowered as it entered Arendelle's skies, silently hovering in the air next to a window at a castle.

Anna (not the merchant like the FE character or amazing author, but the Frozen one) opened the curtain and looked out the window only to see Deadpool's head sticking out of the passenger seat's window.

"Howdy!" Deadpool said welcomingly. "Glad to see you're around, Elsa."

"What are you talking about?" asked Anna.

"I... wait... are you telling me you aren't Elsa?" Deadpool asked, scratching his head in confusion.

"No, I'm her sister," Anna replied.

"...You two look almost identical. Like not just because your related but you look like you'd both be like edited versions of one another that'd like borderline use the same model in a movie out of pure laziness and lack of knowledge with diverse female character design or something," Deadpool said.

Anna shrugged it off, not wanting to find out. "Who are you guys?"

The window from the second row of seats opened up to reveal Rodin.

"We're the League of Motherfucking Super Justice," he stated.

"Drop the profane part," Magolor yelled from the back of the car.

"We're here to find Elsa," Deadpool said.

"Well, she isn't here... especially not if you're looking for her due to her bounty," Anna said solemnly.

"Her bounty?" Shrek yelled in great shock.

"Yes and... wait is that Shrek? Like the guy from High School?" Anna asked dumbfounded.

Shrek climbed up from the back of the car, trampling over others as he climbed out the roof window and jumped through Anna's window to get inside.

"Shrek! It feels like it's been forever!" Anna yelled.

"Why it does, doesn't it?" Shrek asked, feeling awkard as Anna hugged him. "Wait, I forget-what part of the timeline is this-I mean, uh have you graduated High School yet?" Shrek asked.

"No, not yet. I still have another year and I'm jealous you and Elsa have already been out for quite some time now. But now... Elsa isn't doing too well. She's having an early 20s crisis and has ran off. She's so full of sorrow and angst her powers went out of control and now there's snow everywhere in the middle of summer!" Anna explained.

Shrek was glad to have confirmation of what part of the timeline he was in, and worried to hear about Elsa. He knew Elsa had a rough past even before the League, but now he was in the midst of the tragedy. Now he could stop everything from unfolding, but first he'd have to find out what exactly happened... or what was happening.

"So she ran off, her powers are out of control, and there's a bounty on her?" Shrek inquired.

"Yes. I tried to get her back, but she pushed me away and almost hurt me... and now this douchebag Hans is trying to get her killed so he can take over her royalty and I don't even get how that works like if he kills a queen suddenly he's a prince like what?" Anna confusedly explained.

"I dunno how any of that works myself... but for now shall you come with us to help us out? We're gonna go look for her now," Shrek said.

Anna's face lit up. "Of course I'll help!"

Shrek and Anna climbed into the car, trampling over people.

"Where to next?" Chad asked from the driver's seat.

"She's off in the mountains. Maybe we'll find her there!" Anna said.

The car took off, flying around the icy mountains as everyone peaked out the windows in search of Elsa. Eventually, they came across a castle made entirely of ice. Chad floored it and slammed down on a button as some bullets shot out and made an opening on the castle. The car swiftly flew in and accidentally landed on a body. It turns out it was Hans' body, lol. Hope that garbage cock enjoys his trip to hell.

Shrek and Anna climbed out of the car, approaching Elsa who was sitting on a chair made of ice.

"Elsa!" cried Shrek and Anna.

"S-Shrek?!" Elsa stammered.

Silence.

"Elsa... do you remember what happened not too long ago?" Shrek asked.

"I do, Shrek. What about all of it?" Elsa responded.

"We need to talk about it," Shrek said.

Elsa simply held her hand out as stairs made of ice broke from the ground, leading up to another room.

"Follow me," Elsa said.

Shrek followed Elsa to the room. The door slid shut immediately after he entered the room.

"This is an odd time," Elsa said. "What's happened anyway?"

"Nobody is quite sure," Shrek said. "But we all seem to have gone back in time. This looks like back when you went through some heavy stuff..."

"What about it?" Elsa asked, making a seat of ice and sitting on it.

"Why are you putting yourself through all of this? You have your sister back, and you have your old life back... I don't know what you've done before coming here to this castle of sorts, but I'm sure you can call this off and apologize. Your family will welcome you back," Shrek said.

"It's not that simple!" Elsa shouted.

Shrek felt a little scared. He wasn't expecting Elsa to yell at him like that.

"Elsa, this is a chance to redo things for ourselves. I don't know what's going on but is it really that bad?" Shrek asked with a soft voice.

"You don't understand, Shrek. I've been so hung up on all of this ever since it happened. Even after I joined LoSE, it still got to me. Wanna know why? Because this is just around the time I joined the league. I abandoned home and left everyone behind as a means of escaping my bounty. I shut everyone off and putting myself at temporary ease allowed me to control my powers to an extent, but not for long. That's how I ended up accidentally freezing the ocean a while back," Elsa explained. "Suddenly coming back to it all immediately after coming back to life is too much for me. I couldn't deal with it back then, and I can't deal with it now."

"But what IS it?" Shrek asked.

"I'm... not sure. I just have some difficulty controlling my powers sometimes, and I don't do well around others. I shut myself off and away so I don't hurt anyone," Elsa replied.

"But you don't have to do that!" Shrek yelled. "Surely there must be something you can do to control your powers! You need to open up, Elsa!"

"I did open up! And then my powers were unleashed!"

"No, not like that! I meant you need to open up to others!"

"I did! And it worked... for a while! Nobody understands me though! Anna doesn't get me and I can't stand the sight of you anymore! The constant turmoil between us is what drove me up the wall and made my powers unstable again! Did you even notice any of that?!" Elsa yelled in response.

"Before you spawn some sort of dark side like that Anal thing Lana made, I think you need to calm down for a bit and let things go," Shrek said as he walked closer to Elsa, carefully.

"That's not even how you do the pun," she said looking down.

Shrek walked over to her and patted her back. "I know. But please... I want you to know that I care about you as a person. You have every right to be pissed off at me, but please... for the sake of the others, could you stop this nonsense? Let the kingdom thaw, get closer to your sister. Love is love, and love comforts. No matter what kind of love-platonic, romantic, or family... it's all important. Let your sister thaw your heart, let your friends in too. Maybe for the romance part you'll find someone in the future deserving of you. You don't have to forgive me, you just have to forgive yourself..." Shrek said as a tear fell from my eye from my beautiful bad fanfiction writing.

Elsa looked at Shrek, surprised. She started to relax for a moment as she felt the warmth of everyone nearby radiating within. She softened her expression as she stood out of her chair and the entire castle begun melting.

"Hey-you don't need to melt everything yet! You just need to control it!" Shrek yelped.

Elsa laughed a bit, finally a bit calm after Shrek gave her that speech I just wrote at 2:44 AM while trying to finish this chapter.

"Sorry about that," Elsa said. "I guess I got a bit too relaxed."

Suddenly there was a loud boom and the entire castle shook. A small part of the floor cracked.

"We need to go see what that was," Elsa said in a worried voice. She commanded the door she slid closed earlier open and ran out with Shrek trailing shortly after.

Shrek and Elsa returned to the open room with the rest of the gang and the car. There was a giant floating yellow triangle, a yellow and moldy sponge, and a yellow pac.

"Greetings from the Holy Trinity of Sexy Yellow Shapes!" said the triangle.

Chad took a loud gulp.

"I didn't imagine you'd all come here so soon. This really puts a bummer on all my plans for Arendelle. Oh well, just a small speed bump. Plus, my good old friend Shrek is here. I guess that allows me to begin my ogreley plans!" said the triangle.

"Who are you? And how do you know me?!" Shrek yelled, summoning his Onionblade almost by instinct.

"I know many things, Shrek. My name is Bill Cipher. I'm the one who killed your brother! How could you not remember me?!" Bill said.

Everything came back to Shrek as he remembered long ago when he saw his brother get sucked into a portal opened by an evil triangle.

"You're the one who took away my brother and tore my family apart!" Shrek yelled.

"Duh, I just said I did half of that," Bill said in a jeering voice.

_~Dino Piranha from Super Mario Galaxy plays~_

Shrek leaped at Bill, slashing at the triangle with his Onionblade.

"Not yet," Bill said. He vanished and reappeared after Shrek landed on the other side of him. "Meet my companions, Old SpongeBob and New Pac-Man."

"...What?" Phosphora said, confused.

"Didn't you know? Old SpongeBob was back from when SpongeBob was actually good. Now it's just new episodes with little quality put into them and they're all awful. New Pac-Man tried to replace Old Pac-Man and was awful so one's forgotten and the other is hated. Go figure," Deadpool explained.

"...Now I'm really confused..." Phosphora replied.

"What he said! Nobody remembers me for how great I am!" SpongeBob yelled and ohhh god this fic just got to a new level of shitpost. I mean Shrek is fighting SpongeBob and just what...

SpongeBob shot out a bunch of bubbles that targetted onto Magolor and Deadpool as Magolor sliced them off with his Magolblade and Deadpool did the same with one of his swords.

Pac-Man took out some power pellets and started tossing them rapidly at Phosphora and Elsa, the latter who froze them as they came.

Rodin tried getting near Bill, but Bill kept vanishing after every punch.

Shrek and Rodin leaped at Bill at the same time and smacked against each other, falling back.

"Hehehehe, this is so funny because the guy who caused all this isn't doing anything to help!" Bill laughed.

"Wait, what?" Shrek said, confused. "Hey, wait! Chad why aren't you helping us fight?"

"He's the one who made all this possible!" Bill said. He then vanished and appeared right next to Chad and grabbed him. "Now it's time for him to fulfill his end of the favor!"

Chad started screaming as his eyes started to turn yellow and gained elongated pupils. A yellow aura surrounded him as his voice began to transition to sound exactly like Bill's.

"It is I, Chill Kipher!" said Chill. "Not a very good blend of names, but you get the idea."

"No!" shouted Shrek. "What have you done to him?"

"I took him over, duh. And now with his beautiful and powerful ramen hair, I will bring about destruction to not just this alternate reality, but the original one you all came from as well!" Chill gloated.

Anna was confused by everything, and extremely worried, hiding behind her sister in fear. She was rather tough and a good fighter, but she had no idea what the hell any of this stuff was.

"I'd say it's time for Arendelle to meet some Chill, but you already took care of that, didn't you snow witch?" Chill said to Elsa.

Everyone took steady battle stances as the chapter came to an end and _~music fades out~_.


	27. Chapter 27: Muppetational!

THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL CHAPTER 27: MUPPETATIONAL!

Everyone stared in horror as Chill majestically flew through the air, breaking out of the castle of ice and rampaging toward the central town of Arendelle.

"He's going to destroy our town!" Anna cried.

_~Captain America's theme from Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 plays~_

"Not today!" Shrek said. He ran toward the car from the previous chapter. Everyone quickly huddled in, squishing one another.

"No time for seatbelts, just floor it!" Rodin snapped.

Shrek slammed his foot down onto the car and put it in a shift so that it would fly. It flew out the hole Chill had made, trailing him ever so slightly behind.

"Shoot him with the lasers!" Deadpool shouted.

Shrek slammed down on a button on the dashboard, and lasers shot out from the car. Chill merely reflected the lasers by hitting them with his ramen hair, sending the lasers to go flying off and blast against random mountains. Chunks of ice flew everywhere.

"He's moving quickly!" Phosphora yelled.

"I know, this is as fast as the car can fly though!" Shrek replied.

Chill sped up and unleashed his ramen hair further, sending it everywhere as he flew over the town and stopped, lowering himself as he begun his rampage on the streets as citizens ran around in terror. Chill knocked one of his ramen tentacles against a big building that had a sign on it.

Worldwide Muppet Show Stop: Arendelle

Phosphora saw Chill devestate the building as he laughed.

"God, I always hated those mucking fuppets!"

"No!" Phosphora yelled as Chill left a devstating blow on the building. Everyone looked at her. "...Not that I particularly care about the Muppets, or anything. But there could be some casualties in there!"

"She's right," Rodin said. "We'd best check for civillians in the town once he's done around here."

"You mean after we stop him," Shrek instilled.

Elsa was crestfallen as she saw her beautiful town being destroyed in mere seconds. She comforted Anna whom was crying onto her shoulder. Her poor sister only wanted to find her and now she had to witness this chaos and destruction.

Chill laughed as he wandered away, Pac and SpongeBob rising from within his hairs to give menacing looks to the gang.

_~Music fades out~_

Shrek flipped them off, then landed the car. Everyone exited with a sense of guilt and defeat, as a royal guard approached them.

"Elsa! Elsa! You have returned home in peace... well, at least you're peaceful. Did you bring that hairy man with you?" asked the guard.

"No, I didn't. Shrek here and my sister Anna came to get me and convinced me to step down... I'm fine for now. That other person though is actually innocent, they're being controlled by an evil triangle," Elsa explained.

The guard looked at Elsa with a confused face.

"Are you sure you've come back in good health?" the man asked.

"She has," Anna assured him. "She speaks the truth."

"If you all say so. The castle is currently too damaged to sustain guests, but there is a nearby inn that has pertained itself. You may all stay in its residents for now as the Arendelle military plans on the capture of the felon," said the royal guard. "Also, has anyone seen Hans?"

"Oh, the monster thing killed him," Shrek lied.

"Then the monster shall face justice!" the royal guard said as he walked off.

_~Holoska Day from Sonic Unleashed plays~_

Everyone made their way to the inn as they walked through the snowy town, looking at the beautiful sights of twinkling snow... and ruined buildings and blood drenched snow as well.

"It's so peaceful yet grim here," Magolor said as he observed a neat looking patch of snow and a dead guy crushed under rubble from a building.

Everyone entered the hotel, divided by different rooms. Shrek was with Deadpool and Magolor, Elsa was with Phosphora and Anna, and Rodin was alone.

"So, how do you suppose we take him down anyhow?" Deadpool wondered aloud.

"We can't..." Shrek said. "I know that triangle. He's a cunning dream demon and we have zero hope of defeating him."

"Wow, what a downer," said Magolor. "Why not?"

"He's like a god," Shrek rambled. He then unfolded into telling his backstory from Chapter 25 or so about his brother, alerting Chad and Magolor of it.

"Wow... that's some heavy stuff man," Chad said.

"Yes, it was..." Shrek said as he sniffled. The memories of his beloved yet rude Shrack came back to him.

In the other room, Elsa was talking to Phosphora and Anna.

"So, this may be a lot to take in, but..." Elsa begun.

"Yes?" Anna replied, listening in.

"We're not the versions of us you know. We're from a different reality, where... where you're no longer alive..." Elsa said as she choked a little.

"Oh..." Anna said softly. "How did I... how'd I die?"

Elsa and Phosphora shared a gaze.

"Well..." Phosphora begun.

"There was a mission our league had to go on. There was mass destruction thanks to the actions of the enemy and you were nearby. We lost you because of it," Elsa lied.

For some reason, Anna felt incredibly overwhelmbed by the news and started crying.

As Anna calmed down, Elsa and Phosphora then begun to reiterate the entire story thus far for Anna.

"So... if your world currently has no Anna," Anna spoke up shyly.

"If possible, I assume we could take you back to our world," Elsa replied. "But what about the Elsa here, is what I'm wondering. Did she just cease to exist once I got here?"

"I don't know. I'd assume she would have, since you took her place in her... your, castle thing," Anna rambled.

"Yeah," Phosphora said. "I believe it'd make sense. Unless the Elsa here went to our world, or something. I'm sure we can work something out that works best for all of us in the end."

"Yeah. If you do come back, Anna-I'm gonna do things differently this time. You can be a part of our team but you don't have to fight. This time I'm gonna protect you instead of shun you," Elsa said.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the original reality Dr. Mario and his band of evil cronies were planning things.

"We need to get some new recruits," Dr. Mario said in his quiet, creepy yet soothing voice.

"Hmm... maybe we could put an ad in a newspaper!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz suggested.

Dr. Mario, Nui, and Wizzro groaned loudly in annoyance. Metal Face simply made a machine-like sound that didn't sound very pleased.

"We can't just do that. We need to get some bad guys, and I mean the baddest of the bad! We might even have to go completely underground for this enlistment, for whomever we get," Dr. Mario elaborated.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz just frowned as Dr. Mario continued to explain his plans to have super secretive auditions. He ignored Dr. Mario, continuing to tinker with a small little device he would likely turn into a full fledged-inator.

* * *

Within the tangled hairs of Chill, SpongeBob and Pac were talking.

i can't beleive i'm writing this shitpost of a crackfic at 5:22 am. before you make snarky comments about that i'm only up this late because i've been talking to my girlfriend all night and getting love feels

"Maybe once Chill finishes imposing terror on everyone and helps us gain our splotlight and rule over all these different worlds with his power, people will finally respect us," Pac said with a small dash of hope.

"I'm not holding out on that," SpongeBob replied in a groggy tone. "They'll worship us out of fear, but respect is something we'll never truly earn. We'll just be their leader, and nothing else."

"But what if we appealed to them?" Pac asked.

"Who cares if we do?!" SpongeBob yelled. "I DID appeal to them but they just wiped me away with that cheap replacement! You're different, though. People have the opposite problem with you because suddenly society looks at things reserved now when it comes to quality. Suddenly, everything old is good but I don't qualify enough for old? I linger in between, desperately hoping for more than minimal acknowledgement, Pac. I'm forgotten and in memories I'm assimilated with some subpar replacement while you're forced down everyone's throats as your own entity. Appeal isn't what it's about. I already did appeal, and nobody will see your potential appeal."

Pac was stung by SpongeBob's harsh words. He had a feeling deep down inside he was destined for constant shame. He would be remembered by everyone but he would be a laughingstock. Pac shed a small tear before more started to roll out and he was silently sobbing.

"Get over it," SpongeBob remarked bitterly. "It'll do you good to dry out all those emotions now, you don't need the baggage."

Pac walked off to another part of the ramen hair tangle to continue crying, missing his friends back from home.

* * *

That night, Phosphora snuck out of her room and walked down to the hotal lobby, moving carefully and quietely. However, Deadpool caught a glimpse of her as he walked out of a bathroom door in the hall. Curious, he followed her as well. Using his great stealth, Deadpool managed to follow Phosphora as she worked her way out of the inn unspotted, wandering across the dark night town. Phosphora slipped into a building Deadpool had spotted himself earlier during the big scene when Chill had rampaged the town. It was the theater where the Muppets were.

Phoshora sat down with a drink in the audience as a show played. Surprisingly-I guess, she was the only one there.

"Just for old time's sake, and then I'm out of here before somebody spots me," Phosphora says.

"It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest stars, Callie and Marie!"

The Muppet Show theme song played. Phosphora silently clapped and cheered the show on.

The show opened with Callie and Marie expressing their surprise at nobody showing up and also the fact that there was still a show going on despite the recent rampaging and destruction.

The first skit had Gonzo shoot himself out of a cannon named "Canon", where Gonzo shot himself at a picture of a timeline. Phosphora thought it was quite meta and laughed. Deadpool, however, found it absolutely amazing and almost couldn't stop himself from laughing or cheering. He enjoyed the show and the skits as it went on, remembering fond days of when he saw the Muppets on television. However, despite the amazing act the theater was still empty and quiet.

At the end of the show, Kermit appeared on stage and announced that there would be free meet and greets backstage.

"Uh, yeah, if any of you want to come back now's your chance... all two of you there," Kermit said with a voice that sounded of despair. He trudged backstage with a solemn look.

Phosphora felt bad. She peaked around, wondering who the second audience member was but she could not see anything. Curious, she went backstage for the meet and greet only to hear a footstep behind her. She turned around to see Deadpool who immediately tried hiding behind the stage curtain.

"Deadpool, come out-I can see you," Phosphora said, embarrassed.

"Uhhh, I was following you. Totally didn't come here to watch a Muppet show. Like I definitely didn't start out stalking you to make sure you weren't up to no good but then stayed for the Muppet show or anything," Deadpool awkwardly replied.

Phosphora sighed. "You have a right to still be suspicious I guess. Wanna come backstage? You seem to like these guys just as much as I did. Or do, actually."

"Sure thing," Deadpool said. "How long have you been a fan of these guys?"

"I've been around for like thousands of years," Phosphora said. "Since their debut I've kept an eye on them. It's been great but I also lose track of time."

"Ah," Deadpool stated.

The two walked through the backstage, spotting Kermit on a log.

"Hi-ho there, Kermit the Frog here," said the sad frog.

"Wow, I'd say you're looking a little green but I think blue works a bit better. You almost look like that unfunny frog meme guy," Deadpool said.

"Uh, thanks, I guess," said Kermit.

"Don't mention it," Deadpool said with a friendly smile.

"So... why do you look so sad? Did something happen?" asked Phosphora.

"Well, nothing has happened... kinda. Nobody comes to our gigs anymore in this modern world. Having our theater kinda destroyed is just holding back all potential three fans from wanting to come here. I'm surprised you two even decided to come," Kermit replied in a shy, sad tone.

"What do you mean? You guys are the Muppets, you've been around for years! You're all so beloved!" Phosphora assured the amphibian. Alas, the amphibian was still sad.

"The gang has been slowly falling apart. There's no enthusiasm left for us in this world. We have no remaining audience," Kermit continued, shedding a single tear.

Phosphora and Deadpool stepped aside for a moment.

"I think we should invite him to join us," Deadpool said.

"Are you crazy? We can't just... well, we should, but we probably shouldn't. I'm in!" Phosphora rambled excitedly.

"Hey Kermie, how about you join us?" Deadpool said, welcoming Kermit over.

"Really? Like, leave my gang and leave with you guys? I can't just do that, can I?" Kermit asked, surprised.

"Sure you can! We'd be reeeeally happy to have you," Phosphora assured him.

"Well... there were talks of disbanding. As much as I hate to admit it I believe that right there was our last show! Alright guys pack your bags and look for some new jobs because Kermit's now officially a part of... what was your guy's name again?" Kermit spoke.

"We're the League of Super Justice," Phosphora said.

"I like the sound of that!" Kermit said proudly. "In that case, I can't wait to kick some bad guy tail."

"Uhh, Kermit?" asked a bear who had just walked into the room.

"Yes Fozzie?" Kermit asked.

"What about the rest of us?" he asked.

"Well, I dunno Fozzie. The offer was for me, besides; what if it's dangerous?" Kermit replied in a concerned, caring voice.

"Well, we're actually in a bit of a tough situation," Phosphora said. "We could possibly use all the help we could get."

* * *

Back in the main reality, Dr. Mario was getting ready for bed. He yawned as he set his evil alarm clock. He exited his room, toying with his smartwatch he invented recently, checking the connection on the tracking devices he had set on some members of The League of Super Justice. There was once again no connection. Dr. Mario wondered why his glorious device was malfunctioning. He thought back to the entire recent Hell escapade. He only remembered a flash of white light near it all and suddenly appearing back home, completely safe. He thought of Wizzro, Rodin, and Doofenshmirtz. Rodin seemed to be gone for the time being, as Dr. Mario had already checked back at his bar but had not found him there. He knew he could trust Wizzro, but Doof, however...

Dr. Mario knocked on Doofenshmirtz's door, whom opened it immediately.

"Why hello doctor," Dr. Doofenshmirtz greeted.

"Hello... lesser doctor," Dr. Mario replied back. He noticed Doof frowned and ignored the will to laugh.

"I've noticed my tracking devices on Shrek and his cronies have gone defunct. Do you have any ideas on why that may be?" Dr. Mario asked in his calm, and currently unsettling voice.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz swallowed harshly, gulping loudly. "I-I don't know. Have you asked the others? Maybe they would know?!"

Dr. Mario smiled at him. "Alright, doctor. Whatever you say. I'll trust you, for now. But time is running out."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabbed ahold of himself on the inside for a moment, making his expression calm and serious. "Look, I don't know what happened to your dinky little devices. They probably got all messed up in that flash of light, man."

Dr. Mario's grin widened. He simply slammed the door shut, almost hitting Doofenshmirtz in the face. Doof grinned as he sunk to the ground, sighing. He felt truly out of place in on the "evil" side.

* * *

"So you're telling me, we're going to take down a bunch of godly and evil yellow shapes with... puppets?" Shrek asked, in disbelief.

"They're not puppets!" Deadpool said.

"They're Muppets," Phosphora continued.


	28. Chapter 28: An Overdue Bill

THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL CHAPTER 28: AN OVERDUE BILL

"Alright, now that we have our little pests hidden away with low morale, now is a wonderful time to go back to the currently highly unstable main timeline and mess around with it," Chill said with an evil laugh.

"So we're gonna go attack the main world now?" Pac asked.

"Yes, that is literally what he just said," SpongeBob said.

Pac ignored the crusty sponge, turning his back toward him in an immature manor.

"Enough, you two imbeciles. Now is the time for conquest and glory, not idiocity. Now is the time Bill Cipher shall rise and finally take over the world! We don't need any essences or bull like that, we just need ultimate knowledge and power! Which we have right now, fyi," Chill spat out.

Chill held up his hands to a circular graphic on the wall and begun chanting. The circle lit up and turned blue, then turned into a portal.

"Taking over this world should be a cinch. After this is over, we should finish my original goal of taking down all the remaining ogres and taking their powers, legacy, and wealth for ourselves!" Chill gloated.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Your majesty, they're here!" SpongeBob said to his leader.

"Well shit that moment didn't last very long, wonder how they found this place. Then again we did leave a sign outside of our HQ to welcome them in here for some good fun," mumbled Chill. "Say Pac, do you know your battle station?"

"Uhh," Pac groaned. "I guess so..."

"You idiot, we're gonna get killed because of you!" SpongeBob snapped.

The doors flung open, revealing Shrek, Elsa, Magolor, Deadpool, Phosphora, Rodin, Anna, Kermit, and a raging horde of Muppets.

_~Unforgettable from Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep begins to play~_

"Quick! Defeat them before the portal closes so we can get a move on!" Chill yelled.

The battle broke out in an explosive manor, the Muppets raging all over the floor as Chill grabbed both SpongeBob and Pac with his ramen hair tentacles, lifting them up. Deadpool pulled out a gun and shot at SpongeBob, who screamed as blood went everywhere.

"BARNACLES!" shouted the dirty-mouthed sponge. He suddenly felt limp in Chill's tentacle ramen hair.

"Sponge... hey Sponge," Chill said. "Sponge?"

There was no response.

"You can't just shoot someone, you douchebag!" yelled Chill as he threw SpongeBob's corpse at Deadpool.

"What, how was I supposed to know he'd die like that?" Deadpool retorted.

Chill screamed as he unleashed his hair tentacles, sending them down on various different Muppets, crushing them to death.

"Watch out!" Shrek yelled.

Everyone begun desperately trying to avoid the tentacles.

Pac screamed as Chill dropped him carelessly, running off as far away as he could so not to get crushed as well. He came across his old comrade's corpse.

"SpongeBob... are you really dead?" asked the poor young boy, holding the sponge in his arms.

"Let go of me," replied SpongeBob in a raspy voice. He stood up, almost tripping over. "Don't get sappy now. We have to live."

"Then we need to help Bill!" Pac yelled.

"Forget Bill! Can't you see, Pac? He's been using us since day one! But of course you were too blind to see that as well!" SpongeBob yelled.

Pac stepped back in fear. He felt like crying again, but he noticed a change in SpongeBob's expression. It went from one of anger to fear.

"Pac, look out!" yelled SpongeBob.

SpongeBob leaped forward and pushed Pac tumbling back. Pac opened his eyes after hitting the ground, peaking up only to see a ramen tentacle smashed brutally against the ground where he previously stood.

"SpongeBob! Not again, no!" Pac yelled.

The ramen tentacled lifted up to reveal SpongeBob, who was smooshed against the ground so badly he tore, making him unable to recover from being squished as he would normally be able to as a sponge.

"SpongeBob!" Pac yelled.

Chill uttered a few instances of profanity before working his way into the portal, which started to close.

"Guys, look! It's closing!" Phosphora shrieked.

Chill stuck his head into the portal from the other side. "Go ahead, try and get back. This is the only chance you got!" he gloated, then turned around to float away.

Another portal opened in the room as countless triangle monsters fell in, wielding swords, guns, and crossbows, beginning to attack the Muppets and The League of Super Justice.

"Just... go! We'll handle them!" Kermit yelled.

"What, are you sure?" Phosphora gasped.

"Yes, I'm sure. Go, get into that portal if that's where you guys are from!" Kermit yelled.

"But Kermit..." Phosphora said, gazing into his eyes from slightly across the battle field.

"I'll never forget you. In fact it'd be kinda hard to do so," Kermit joked as he narrowly dodged a slash from a sword and almost got shot in the foot.

"I'll never forget you too!" Phosphora said as she flew, grabbing Magolor and Deadpool nearby. "Everyone grab on!"

Shrek, Elsa, Anna, and Rodin clinged onto the feet of Magolor and Deadpol, only barely lifting above the enemies below.

"Ow! One just slashed my foot!" Shrek yelled.

"Better be glad I supplied you with a healing factor then!" Deadpool shouted from above.

Phosphora desperately tried to speed up as the portal grew ever so smaller. She pushed as hard as she could, getting one burst of energy sending her and her allies forward and into the portal. The gang flew through and fell outside of the real, original version of Arendelle. They were in the middle of town square.

_~Perfect Chaos Phase 2 from Sonic Adventure plays~_

Chill laughed loudly as he floated through the sky.

"I will bring death upon each and every one of you!" the evil ramen man triangle guy echoed through the air.

Chill lowered himself to look directly at The League of Super Justice.

"What you saw earlier in the other world was just a special sneak peak of what's to come!" yelled Chill.

"Give us our Chad back!" Deadpool shouted. He revealed his two swords as he leaped at Chill, trying to slash away at him.

"Deadpool, no!" Rodin yelled. "If you damage Chill, it'll hurt Chad's body too! We don't know how much damage his body can sustain."

Deadpool stopped on a dime and landed back on the ground. "Then what do we do for now?"

"I'll think of something," Rodin said. "You just defend for now. Negate all of his attacks! Take care of his hair, too!"

Chill floated high, maneuvering to rest above the center of Arendelle as he unleashed the ramen tentacles. They all seemed to act and coordinate on their own free will.

Shrek summoned his Onionblade, leaped at one and chopping it in half. He flung his blade at another to slice it from afar, then ran over to a third and ripped it in half with his brute strength.

Elsa froze some of the ramen tentacles, having Anna then hit them with an axe she found to shatter them to pieces.

Magolor was flinging around from tentacle to tentacle, slicing them one by one at an amazing rate.

Deadpool sliced away with his swords, doing his best to not get caught by one of the monsters.

Phosphora flow threw the air, carefully dodging strikes from each ramen hair beast as she zapped lightning at them. They seemed to really stick out whenever she hit them with electricity. Well, they were made of hair, after all.

Rodin just punched them away as he stood in place, trying to hatch a better strategy.

* * *

Pac climbed through the portal at the very last second. He noticed the battle scene going on, and he quickly ran away from it all along with the rest of the citizens of Arendelle. He spotted a boat on a dock in the distance and climbed into it, releasing its ties and rowing it off into the sea.

As the view of Arendelle started to look further and further away, Pac continuously cried. He eventually stopped the boat for a moment so he could stop and think clearly.

"I don't know what to think anymore... if I go back home, I'll just get mocked. It's dangerous everywhere else. If only I were more like SpongeBob... I wouldn't be such a pushover. But here I am now. No wonder nobody likes me... I have to MAKE them like me. I think there's only one logical step to go from here..."

* * *

Rodin suddenly recalled something he had given Shrek the other day while in Hell. Before they had planned to completely reunite Elsa's soul with her body, they were going to put the soul in a locket that they could use to keep her soul in until they brought it back to her body.

"Phoshora!" Rodin shouted.

Phosphora turned to look at Rodin, who held up the locket.

"Take this locket and use it to absorb the demon from Ch-" Rodin begun, but was cut off as Phosphora was suddenly grabbed by some of Chill's various tentacle ramen hair monsters.

"Dammit!" Phosphora and Rodin shouted at once.

Rodin turned his view to Shrek who was fighting a few of the monsters. The monsters just seemed to keep coming by the dozens at this rate.

Rodin ran up to Shrek, grabbing his hand to give him the locket.

"Run up to the top of the highest building in town and do whatever you can to draw Chill near. Hold this locket up to him and release it, it'll absorb the demon and we'll get that Chad guy back," Rodin explained.

Shrek nodded, grabbing the locket.

"I'll cover your spot for now, Shrek! Go and take him down!" Rodin yelled.

Magolor noticed Phosphora in the distance. He took off in a run toward her as he launched through the air and sliced through a bunch of the monsters, then went sword crazy on the monsters holding her captive. She was freed, returning to flight as she began dodging more of the monsters right away.

"Thanks, pal!" she yelled.

"No problem!" Magolor replied.

Shrek ran faster and faster. He looked up at the skyline, gazing for the tallest building in the town. He eventually spotted it, then bolted toward it. He huffed and puffed, jumping over and sliding under ramen tentacles coming his way.

Shrek broke down the locked building door and ran up flight of stairs.

_~Save Cereza! from Bayonetta begins to play even though I believe I used this song before in another chapter~_

Shrek paniced as he remembered all the times he related to Chad on opinions and in style, the times they talked, and some early yet to be revealed High School nostalgia.

"Don't worry man, I'm coming," Shrek said under his breath as a ramen tentacle broke through the wall and tried to trip him. He narrowly avoided it with a jump.

Shrek got to the highest floor and kicked open the doors to the roof view. He had some bad flashbacks to the SHIELD mission from before, but he casted them away to another part of his mind for now.

"Aye! Scalene idiot, would ye look over here?" Shrek taunted.

Chill looked over.

"What, do you want to take me head-on or something? Aren't you just some random fat ogre. Shrek was the name, right? I sent your brother threw a portal promising him the oh so great Onionblade would be passed down. Good think I'm not a liar and stuck to my deal. Aren't you happy, Shrek? Aren't you happy you got the Onionblade instead?" Chill goaded.

"No! The Onionblade-useful as it is-is no replacement for that of my bretheren! I wanted Shrack back! I wanted my family back! Years have passed since I've moved on from my sorrow, but I'll never forgive you for what you've done. First my brother, then my family. I'm not letting you take my friend too!" Shrek replied, carefully pulling the Soul Locket out from his back pocket. He held it tightly, holding it behind his back.

Chill got near Shrek.

"Really, and what are you going to do about it?" Chill teased.

"This!" Shrek screeched as he pulled out and popped open the Soul Locket or whatever I'm actually gonna call it.

"What? Are you kidding me, where the hell did you find that thing?" Chill yelled.

A burst of light shot out of the Soul Locket, piercing Chill. Chill screamed, his voice slowly going from Bill's voice to Chad's voice.

A triangular spirit was forcefully pulling out of Chad, hooked onto the beam of light as it pulled back into the Soul Locket. The locket closed as Bill was absorbed within.

"Wow, that was kind of scary and amazing!" Chad said in a surprised tone. Then he looked down and realized he was in mid air and he started to plummet to the ground.

Shrek pocketed the Soul Locket and ran toward the ledge of the building.

"Chad!" shoute the ogre.

Two ramen tentacles then grabbed the ledge of the building and pulled Chad up.

Shrek grabbed Chad's hand and helped him on back onto the building.

"Thanks man," Chad said.

"Don't mention it," Shrek replied with a handshake.

Shrek pulled the Soul Locket out of his pocket. He gazed at it, confused on what to do with it. Rodin suddenly approached from behind.

"You're wondering what we do with that thing, right?" Rodin asked.

"Yeah," Shrek replied. "Something we'd want to take good care of so to make sure he never gets out ever again."

Rodin grabbed the locket and threw it onto the ground, smashing it under his foot.

"What?!" Shrek and Chad both yelled in shock.

"Don't worry. That motherfucker is gone now. Once the Soul Locket is broken there's no way he can be released from the realm he's in now. He's essentially all but dead," Rodin said.

Shrek and Chad glanced at each other.

"Well... all's well that ends well, I guess," Chad said with a shrug.

"I missed you dude," Shrek said as he pulled Chad in for a hug.


	29. Chapter 29: Intermission

THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL CHAPTER 29: Intermission

Nui noticed a boat rowing in from a telescope she was viewing to gaze upon the surroundings of The League of True Super Evil's evil island base.

Nui immediately ran to Dr. Mario to alert him.

"There's someone here? Who are they?" Dr. Mario asked, highly intrigued.

"I dunno, I couldn't see him. Looked a bit round and yellow, that's all I could tell," Nui replied.

Dr. Mario suddenly envisioned Pac-Man.

"Ah yes, I think I know who that may be. This could be... interesting. I'm going to drop the island defenses for some fun... let him come in safe," Dr. Mario ordered.

Nui felt skeptical, but followed his orders and went to go turn off the defense system.

* * *

Pac rowed onto the island base.

"Isn't the place that got attacked a long time ago... people were killed here. I'm sure it's likely abandoned now, though," Pac wondered aloud. "Might as well isolate myself here of all places. It looks nice here."

Pac trudged through the sand as he saw something move beneath it. The bump in the sand just moved and moved, circling him. Pac heard a loud cackling noise, and it scared him.

"Show yourself!" Pac demanded.

Wizzro revealed himself and continued to laugh at the poor Pac, finding his fear quite hilarious.

"Are you some kind of ghost?" Pac asked with his frightened, trembling voice.

"Why yes I am!" Wizzro said cheerfully.

"I-I-I'm not afraid," Pac lied

The two stared at each other as Wizzro slowly inched closer while Pac sweated harshly.

"That's enough, Wizzro," Dr. Mario said.

Pac looked over and saw two people in lab coats, a girl with a scissor sword, and a giant robot thing.

"Who the heck are you guys?" he asked.

"We're the League of True Super Evil," Dr. Mario greeted. "You seem rather lost, or maybe you're right at home."

* * *

_~Snowflakes from Persona 4 Golden plays~_

Elsa gleefully sat back down on her throne for the first time in forever. It felt wonderful finally being back home and to be appreciated. Upon returning she had explained everything and unfroze Arendelle, bringing it back to its previous state. She was welcomed back as the rightful Queen and had Hans banned from Arendelle on account of possesion of illegal drugs. All was well for once as Elsa was at home-but she was not alone. Anna was there, Shrek was there, Chad was there, etc. She felt truly surrounded by love.

The League of Super Justice members were appointed their own various rooms. Shrek had a swamp-inspired room, Rodin had one very similar to his bar, Chad had one with soundproof walls where he could play music whenver he wanted, Deadpool and Maagolor shared a simplistic one they decorated with posters and displayed weapons, Phosphora had one that meshed her old electricity-themed one back home with her current interests.

* * *

"So... I was lost due to casualities in this reality, huh?" Anna asked her sister that night. They were sitting in the library discussing things while sipping on some hot drinks.

"Yeah, it was during our mission against SHIELD. You died in the explosion," Elsa replied.

"You mentioned I was a part of SHIELD, right? At least in this world. How come nobody had to fight me in that story you told me about everyting that went down? Surely you would have had to have fought me being on opposite teams and all..." Anna said.

"Yeah, but thankfully nothing like that had to happen," Elsa said. "That would have been disasterous."

"Yes, it likely would have," Anna agreed as they both fell silent.

* * *

Phosphora snuck out of the castle as she slipped off to go look around Arendelle. As soon as she exited the castle she turned around.

"Come on out, Deadpool," she said.

Deadpool stepped out from his hiding place behind a pot.

"What? I swear to God I was stalking you and totally not going on my way to see if there's a Muppet show going on in this reality too.

"Well it doesn't hurt to check," Phosphora said.

The two Muppet fanatics then went off to go check out their reality's version of the Muppet show, and they met a familiar friend there...

* * *

Shrek sat alone in is room. He reflected on everything. Looking back, he really regretted almost everything he had caused those around him. Shrek couldn't believe he had let things escalate so far that he costed both Elsa and Elsa's sister their lives. Things were fixed now... more or less. Shrek knew that another Anna wasn't just something that'd make Elsa's life better. the original Anna could never be replaced, though Elsa would likely use the new one as a way of coming to terms. Shrek lied down with his thoughts starting to take over, feeling nothing but guilt. Even after he had managed to more or less "correct" things, he knew things were still off. Deep down inside he could feel he had become a better person from all of this, but he didn't feel like much. In fact, it reminded him much of his past. Before he knew it, Shrek was suddenly overwhelmed with painful memories of the past. The worst days of his High School life were suddenly coming back to him. Worse than when he was bullied, even worse than when he had no Mr. Drake or Elsa to spend time with... a time when he almost became a person he would not be able to look back fondly on.

"So, Pac. This is your room... you can decorate it to how you see fit," said Dr. Mario as he welcomed back into a nice resort room at the island base.

"Thanks, doc. I'll be sure to make good use of it," Pac said.

Dr. Mario gave him a welcoming yet still unsettling smile. "You're very welcome, Pac. I am aware of your father and is achievements, so it'd only make sense I take you in in his honor. Training starts tomorrow. I do hope you are ready."


	30. Chapter 30: Shrek Flashback VI

THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL CHAPTER 30: SHREK FLASHBACK VI

Shrek slammed his locker shut. Another day, another bullying session... against him, that is. Shrek tired of the constant bullying he was put through. Every single day he awaited class to get out so he could go and hang out with Elsa and her sister after school. Every day at school was a tiring, repetitive process for him. It'd go like this; Get there, swoon over Shadow, get bullied, talk to Mr. Drake after his class ended, go to Elsa's house and hang out with her. However, today was about to go down a bit different...

Shrek looked over to a person hiding behind their opened locker door. As Shrek kept looking in the direction, he noticed a head peak from behind the locker. The person immediately shut their locker and took off in a run, dropping their fedora behind them. Shrek was curious and worried, so he grabbed the fedora and followed after him.

Shrek found the person at the end of a hallway. They wore a blue button up with a white shirt and red tie beneath. They had messy dark gray hair and pants that matched the color of their button up. Shrek recognized the student, his name was Tohru Adachi.

"You dropped your fedora," Shrek said to the cowering man.

"T-thanks," Adachi said.

Shrek handed the fedora over to Adachi, standing there awkwardly for a few moments as Adachi adjusted it back on his head.

"So..." Shrek spoke up. "Were you spying on me or something?"

"I'm not gonna lie, I was checking up on you," Adachi said in a calm, cool voice. "I'm gonna come straight out and say it in fact; I'm a part of an after school group that wishes to recruit you."

Shrek was wary this was just another complex plot someone launched to bully him. However, he was also intrigued and decided to go along with it.

"Which after school club is it?" Shrek asked.

"The Nice Guys Brotherhood," Adachi said as he tipped his fedora. "We're a group dedicating those who have been wronged by all of society, especially those who have been wronged by the ladies."

Shrek wasn't sure about what Adachi was talking about.

"So like you wanna have me join you guys because I get bullied?" Shrek asked.

"Yeah, yeah, exactly! And we could even help you get the respect you deserve from Elsa... we see how you fancy her!" Adachi replied.

Shrek thought about Elsa. It was true Shrek did like to spend time with her. However, Shrek truly longed for Shadow on the inside... though thinking about it; Shrek also liked Elsa too. He would gladly make a compromise.

"Yeah, I guess I kinda do..." Shrek said.

"Great!" Adachi replied. "Now follow me."

Adachi grabbed Shrek by the arm and pulled him along the hallway, taking him to a room.

Inside the room others were waiting around. There was a circle of chairs around, others sitting around. Adachi took a seat next to one last open chair and invited Shrek over.

Shrek sat down as everyone else stood up and looked at him.

"It is time we do our greetings," said a man in one fedora.

"My name is L-U-K-A Luka. I got friendzoned by Bayonetta," Luka said. He passed on a sparkly pink fedora he was holding to the next person.

"I am Eggman. I get friendzoned by EVERY girl ever," Eggman said as he passed on the sparkly fedora.

"I am Riku. After I fell to darkess girls started to ignore me, even my friend Sora hates me now," Riku said. He passed on the fedora.

"I am Scott Pilgrim. I got friendzoned by Ramona Flowers after I fought her evil exes and she broke up with me a year later..." said Scott. He passed on the fedora to the next person, whom Shrek did not quite recognize.

"My name is Billy Bob Frank," said the man. "Girls ignore me because I write about them a lot... they don't like it but that's their fault. I'm actually 42 but I get held back a lot." Billy Bob Frank then handed the fedora to Adachi.

"And I thought I was the oldest one in the group," Riku huffed, his fat jiggling as he leaned down to tie his shoes. Then he stood up, the smacking of his phallus to his fat was loudly obvious.

"Uhhhh ignoring that," Adachi said carefully, "I'm Adachi, and I'm the leader! I started this committe when that new girl Yamano friendzoned me so hard! I held the door open for her like five times and she wouldn't sleep with me!"

"And you know what he did to her?" Eggman said in a maniacal voice.

"W-what?" Shrek asked curiously.

"I closed the door on her! ...and also she fell back and cracked her head and died but I DIDN'T INTEND FOR THAT! I blamed it on that Mitsuo kid from the kindgarten at the school next door," Adachi revealed.

Shrek was feeling uncomfortable.

"God and then there's this Saki chick," Adachi said. "Her hair reminds me of ramen but she keeps ignoring me!"

"Why not talk to her and spend time with her?" Shrek shrekgested.

"Because she's going out with that Chad guy with the ramen hair right now. Ramen hair is like their thing," Adachi suggested. "She probably won't keep it once they split though."

"How does her being with Chad prevent you from being friends with her?" Shrek asked innocently.

"That's not what he wants!" Luka yelled. "He wants to get in her, ya know?"

Shrek was really confused, especially as Adachi winked at him and handed over the fedora to him.

"Shrek, you are our special new member. You get to wear this, but only if you promise to come to our meeting tomorrow as well," Adachi said.

Shrek put the awful hat on. "Sure, I guess..."

"That's great!" said Riku, as he chomped into a Paopu Fruit. "Oh if only I chould share one of these with every girl in school..."

Shrek left the room and ran to the bus as quickly as possible. He barely managed to get on at the last moment, joining Elsa at her seat.

"Shrek? I almost thought you weren't gonna show. And what's with the hat?" Elsa asked, confused.

"It's my brand new hat!" Shrek said cheerfully. "A friend gave it to me. Isn't it great?"

Elsa was a bit wary. The hat was in a style that reminded her of a type of people that were not to be involved with. She shrugged it off for now, deciding to worry about it later.

* * *

The next day, Shrek went to the meeting after school instead of going to Elsa's house.

"So Shrek, as our official new member-we need to truly assimilate you. We need you to test your friend Elsa. She seems rather secluded from the other people in this school and may very well be an exception from the usual girls here," Adachi said, tipping his fedora. Everyone tipped their fedoras in respect for him.

Shrek tipped his fedora by instinct, looking at Adachi. "Alright, what do you want me to do?" Shrek asked.

"Do as much as you can for her..." Adachi said.

And so Shrek did.

He started to constantly hold the door open for Elsa, bringing her lunch, and being twice as friendly. Elsa loved how helpful Shrek was and truly appreciated the kind displays of friendship he had shown. Shrek enjoyed seeing her happy as well, especially whenever Elsa thanked him.

Shrek arrived to a group meeting two weeks later.

"So, how has Elsa repaid you?" Adachi asked.

"Well, she thanked me a lot! She truly appeciates me," Shrek said cheerfully. "I've never felt better helping someone before."

"Well," Adachi said skeptically. "How has she helped you?"

"She's thanked me a lot," Shrek said.

"Blasphemy!" Adachi stammered. "That doesn't count! How has she repaid you for all of your efforts? Has she done anything for you, like go out with you? Verbal thanks don't count!"

"Hey, at least she thanks him," said Billy Bob Frank as he typed on his iPad. "The girls I write about never thank me for my stories! I even make sure to go into detail about them..."

Shrek felt out of place and unsure. "What am I supposed to get in return? Isn't her thanking me enough?"

"No!" Adachi shrieked. "Ugh, she's just like all the other ones. Shrek-listen here-you're being friendzoned," the neckbeard continued.

Everyone gasped.

"I knew it..." said Riku.

"What's that mean?" Shrek asked.

"It's when you're ignored by someone so much even after you do EVERYTHING for them and they refuse to see as more than a friend..." Adachi explained. "Scott here knows it best."

Scott looked down sadly. "I did so much..."

"But you didn't have to, did you?" Shrek asked. "You did it because you wanted to do it for her, right?"

"Yeah and she owed me!" Scott retorted.

"But... that just seems kinda sleezy. You helped her. You helped her because you wanted to. And she owes you how?" Shrek asked.

"Ugh, Shrek. You're an insult to your fedora. Don't you see, Shrek? How we've all been wronged so badly? We're all kindred spirits; poor misunderstood souls, but you seem to be the most lost. So wrongfully treated, yet so blissfully innocent," Adachi rambled poetically.

"That sounds really dumb," Shrek said. He took off his fedora, stood up, put the fedora on the seat, and walked toward the door. "I don't even get the point of all of this."

"You dare walk out on us?" Adachi said menacingly.

"Sorry, but you all seem like you're just kinda... entitled. I like Elsa but I don't want to mistreat her. If I ever did that, I don't know how I'd ever live with myself," Shrek said. He walked out the door and it would be years before he would see these band of misfits ever again, though that would be very soon in the present days...

* * *

**NEW ARC TIME! Future chapter titles!**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 31: Nice Guys**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 32: Among Thieves**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 33: Le Friendzone Meme xD Fedora**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 34: Nice Guys Finish Last**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 35: Shrek Flashback VII**


	31. Chapter 31: Nice Guys

The League of Super Evil Chapter 31: Nice Guys

Shrek was sitting peacefully in his room. He was watching TV and eating a bowl of ramen noodles, finally feeling some slight peace with himself. Then he heard a knock on his door.

"Shrek! Shrek, are you there? We have some visitors for you. They went to High School with us," said Elsa from behind Shrek's door.

Shrek's ears perked up, then fell down. A moment of excitement followed by dread, who could it possibly be?

Shrek got up.

"I'm coming, hold on a second!" Shrek called.

Shrek threw on a clean shirt and opened the door only to be greeted by Tohru Adachi, his old classmate. Shrek quickly felt regret.

"Heya Shrek, how are you holding up?" Adachi greeted with great charisma. "It's been a while, huh?"

"I've done alright," Shrek said shyly. "How did you find me here?"

"Well it took some searching around, but I managed to track ya down," Adachi said.

Adachi welcomed himself and the rest of his neckbeards into Shrek's room as they closed the door. Elsa was a little suspicious, but simply wandered away from the door as she decided not to eavesdrop.

"I still say this is a bad idea," Eggman said. "He did betray us after all. And he's still hanging around Elsa as some little friend of hers."

"That is pretty funny baby," Riku said to Eggman. They were in a relationship now. "I wonder how much Shrek has done for her at this point."

"Too much!" Eggman laughed.

Shrek ignored the commentary.

"So what is it you want?" Shrek asked.

"It's something rather important, actually," Adachi said. "We need your help, Shrek. Only one with your power can help us break into the Friendzone Dimension and steal the Heart Rod. With its power, we'd be able to control the love of all."

"For starters, the friendzone you speak so often of is completely fake. Second, I thought you wanted to get out of the theoretical thing as it stands. Also, what the hell is the Heart Rod and why would I help you group of obvious sleezeballs steal it if it let's you control the love of others?" Shrek replied.

"Since when do you have moral standards, Shrek?" Adachi retorted. "I thought you were in a group called The League of Super Evil or something like that. Haha."

"That's classified info!" Shrek shrieked, alarmed. "How did you ever come across any of that? And besides, it's outdated now. I'm a good guy where I currently stand."

"Fine! Whatever! See if we care, you keep toying around with Elsa for now, you ogre asshole," Adachi said, pulling his fedora down over his face to hide his steaming anger.

"If I remember right, they were actually a thing at one point," said Billy Bob Frank.

Oh no, here we go, Shrek thought.

"They were what?" Adachi asked.

"Oh yeah, I think I remember hearing about Shrek and Elsa being a thing," said Riku. "And then like, there was something on the news about some godlike entity being pissed off at them so it killed Elsa and sent her soul to Hell. I guess Shrek did a bunch of stuff to save her or something."

"That's hilarious!" Adachi laughed. "And let me guess-even after all of that, you two are just friends again?"

"More or less," Shrek said. "I'm trying to repair my friendship with her. I know I wronged her and I know I care about her, but not in such a way I wanna be with her," the ogre explained.

Adachi laughed at Shrek. "Wow, way to be oh so noble. You're the one that let her die in the first place."

"Let's not bring up any bygones now, shall we?" Shrek interrupted.

"Whatever," Adachi sighed. "We couldn't count on you before, you're too ignorant. I guess we'll just have to take our searches somewere else."

"Don't trip on your way out," Shrek snarkily chimed.

* * *

Dr. Mario awoke to the sound of movement in the vents above. Curious, he got up and immediatly turned on his vent cameras and spotted various figures moving around in the vents.

Dr. Mario got on his speaker system and spoke up, "Warning to any intruders; I shall not hesitate to turn on our laser defense system. If you desire to live even if it's in a state of captivity, please follow the lit pattern of lights within the vents that shall appear within the following moments."

Dr. Mario flipped a switch and then walked outside, picking up a walkie-talkie and ordering everyone to gather outside of a vent on the beach. The entire League of True Super Evil was surrounding the vents, watching as a bunch of people came out.

A muscular man wiped some sweat off his face as he looked at Dr. Mario.

"Greetings, the name is Nate. You may or may not have heard of me," the man said.

"Your name is Nathan Drake, actually. I've read about you in some of Shrek's files. You lived a life as a thief, or rather, still do?" Dr. Mario asked.

"That's right. I came here with my team hoping to strike a deal. We had to work our way through your security, though. That defense system you have there works pretty damn well, leaving the vent open for a false sense of exposure is probably my favorite part," Nate replied.

Dr. Mario looked at the gang of thieves that were accompanying the man. He saw a mechanized man that resembled Gaius, a raccoon in blue clothing, a fox with a blue mask, a boy with red hair and a snazzy outfit, and the protagonist of Persona 5.

"We're The Band of Thieves. We need to pull off a heist for an object that another group of morally questionable people plan to misuse for their own sinister purposes," Nate explained.

"Serious question here," Nui spoke up. "You came to a group called The League of True Super Evil hoping we would help you stop a bunch of bad guys?"

"Well..." Nate said with a small chuckle. "I guess we didn't think that part through. So isn't my old apprentice Shrek a part of this group or what? I figured he'd understand pretty well, as this is a job that will hit home for him in particular."

"Shrek is no longer a part of this group," Dr. Mario said with a stern voice. "Nor is he welcome back."

"Funny, I thought he was the leader," Nate said curiously. "Oh well, we'll be on our way out now. Sly, drop a smoke bomb!"

Suddenly, a bunch of smoke surrounded everyone. Dr. Mario coughed as he tried to feel around for his foes, but the smoke cleared to reveal no trace of them.

"Dammit, they got away!" Dr. Mario shouted.

Pac felt discouraged, but was also wondering about Shrek's former position in the group. Apparently Shrek had screwed this group over as well, which made Pac dislike him further.

A boat started to near in the distance.

"Is that their escape ship?" Pac wondered aloud.

"No, idiot. Why would they escape then come directly toward us?" Wizzro mocked.

"Wizzro's right. Different group of people," Dr. Mario observed. "I wonder whom they may be."

Dr. Mario took out a pair of highly advanced glasses. With them, he was able to see from various different angles on seagulls, fish, and bugs he could control at will. From above, Dr. Mario was able to spot a group of various odd looking people in fedoras.

"Oh boy," Dr. Mario said in a deadpan voice.

* * *

Shrek was trying to fall back asleep again when he heard yet another knocking.

"Shrek... you seem to have more visitors. This is the second group of people today!" Elsa said.

Shrek got up and checked the door only to be greeted with a big hug from his past mentor, Mr. Drake and a bunch of other people he did not recognize.

"Mr. Drake... is that you?!" Shrek asked in surprise.

"Sure is, Shrek!" Nate replied. "I see you've become quite a hero. I have to ask now-would you be willing to my gang out?"

"Help your gang out with what?" Shrek asked.

"Help my gang out with saving the world," Nate said. "We have a mission for you."


	32. Chapter 32: Among Thieves

The League of Super Evil Chapter 32: Among Thieves

After regrouping with his past mentor, Shrek had called out the rest of his team to be formally introduced to the rest of his mentor's gang. They all kind of stuck out yet still seemed very stealthy. One of them Magolor had an interest in, though; a person that seemed highly familiar...

"I'm Nate. Some of you may recognize me as Mr. Nathan Drake from High School, but I no longer live a life as a teacher. I've gone back to treasure hunting," Nate greeted.

"Oh, I remember you. Shrek used to tell me all about you after class sometimes," Elsa said.

"Right, as he told me about you as well. Here's the rest of my gang, we're The Band of Thieves," Nate replied. The rest of his team stood side by side from shortest to tallest.

"I am Swiper, the actual leader of this group. Nate is just our spokesperson, but I'm the brains of most of the operations as most people can not physically repel me. My success is only inevitable and most cannot do a thing about it," said a fox with a blue mask.

"My name is Sly. I come from a long line of thieves. There really isn't much else to say about me," said a raccoon in a blue outfit.

"My name is Gaius-II. I was once brutally defeated in battle but was found and artificially improved to live life once more as a mechanized being. Sadly I contain no traces of my past within me," said Gaius-Ii.

Magolor was suddenly very alert and felt a pang of emotions go through him.

"Gaius! Do you remember me?" Magolor asked.

Gaius-II just looked at Magolor.

"No, sadly I do not..." the robot replied in a sad voice.

"Oh..." Magolor said in a defeated, melancholy tone. "Bummer..."

"My name is Phantom R. I'm a master art thief who only takes what I need to get by. Everything else I return shortly, and I do so in hopes of someday finding my father," greeted a boy in red hair with blue clothing.

Last was a boy with a mask and black hair. He just stood there, not saying anything.

"This is Chair-kun. He doesn't talk much, which is probably because he's mute," Nate said. "We can still communicate with him through hand gestures and sign language."

"So do all of you know sign language?" Magolor wondered aloud.

"Yes. It's always a good idea for a theif to be resourceful and know multiple languages," said Sly. "Though I'm mainly just good at accents.

"Not even. Your accents have almost gotten us killed," Swiper snapped. "But enough of that. Nate, can you tell them of the special operation?"

"Ah yes," Nate spoke up. "We all seek the power of getting into a fabled extra dimension. There's said to be an artifact in said dimension that allows anyone who is powerful enough to wield it to control the love of others. The neckbeards we're up against have collectively referred to it as 'The Friendzone.'"

Shrek groaned.

"Those neckbeards approached me not too long ago. I shut them down and they got all upset with me," said the ogre.

"Whoa, looks like we showed up just on time," said Phantom R.

"Yeah. They seemed a bit persistent... or maybe just too stupid to quit," Shrek said.

"I do remember seeing them around as a club at school a while back," Elsa chimed in. "They seemed like an unlively bunch to be around."

"I wonder where they are now..." Nate wondered aloud.

* * *

"This does sound... intriguing," Dr. Mario said. "I love the concept, and the scientific possibilities all show that you may be telling the truth. Plus you do all sound intellectual and reasonable."

The neckbeards had arrived on Dr. Mario's island base and had already begun to influence him. He was even wearing a fedora.

"Yes, as both an inteccectual and treasure hunter I can confirm that the likeliness of this all is almost 100%!" Luka said.

Nui just sat there looking at the neckbeards as they all plowed through boxes and boxes of pizza with Dr. Mario. She felt annoyed by the mere prescence of them. Young Pac, however, felt that they were all pretty cool and smart and wanted to emulate them (poor boy, if only he knew...) while Wizzro found their mundane nature to be quite entertaining out of their cringe-inducing factor. Metal Face somehow had a strong feeling of dislike toward them even though he was generally a tool-based robot. Doofenshmirtz found them all to be a bunch of stuck-up idiots.

"So how do we get into this other realm?" Dr. Mario asked.

"By gathering together the most wide range of rejection as possible," Adachi replied.

"...Are you serious?" Dr. Mario asked.

"Or we could launch a Kickstarter," Adachi said. "That, or gather as many fedoras as possible and to put them around a satanic summoning circle."

"Doofenshmirtz, get to work on an inator right now. Make one that can gather any fedora within a 1,000 mile range!" Dr. Mario commanded. With little choice, Dr. Doofenshmirtz sighed as he wandered off and went to begin development on such a device.

* * *

"So the only way to stop them is to get there before them, but how do we do that?" Shrek asked.

"I hate to tell you this," Nate said," but in order to get into that godforsaken place we have to open a portal made purely out of self-entitledness and whininess," Nate replied. "We could very well spy on them and wait for them to open up the portal for themselves, but it's too risky. The only other method is gathering an unwholesome amount of fedoras and arranging them in a specific layout."

Elsa and Shrek looked at Chad.

"I burned them all long ago. I can never go back," Chad said, making no eye contact with either of them.

"Chad, it's for the greater good. We know you don't wear them anymore, Chad. You've become a much better person since that phase," Elsa said.

Chad broke out in a sweat. "F-fine. I'll go find them in storage, wherever they are."

Chad wrapped himself up in his ramen disguise before leaving in order to hide himself from others. If only Bill hadn't screwed him over with the deal they made.

"He seems like a nice man," Nate said.

"He is," Elsa replied. "But he's gone through some dark times."

"To think I could have ended up like that..." Shrek said solemnly.


	33. Chapter 33: Le Friendzone Meme xD Fedora

The League of Super Evil Chapter 33: Le Friendzone Meme xD Fedora

Chad Kroeger held up his collection of fedoras he had shamefully collected in the past, via his ramen hair tentacles. Doing so in front of his friends felt like he was admitting defeat, not being able to show how much growth he had truly made over the years.

Chad released a tear as Nate instructed Chad how to hold each of the awful hats, and where in the air to hold them.

"Alright, from a few steps back it should create some unholy pattern that'll create a portal and make it possible to get in there and retrieve the Love Stick before the Neckbeards do," Swiper said.

"Is that REALLY what it's called?" giggled Deadpool.

"It's not that funny," Rodin replied.

Nate sighed, having tired of the joke after discussing it with his team mates in the past on various occasions.

"So what exactly is the image we're supposed to be making?" Magolor asked.

"It looks a bit like that," Nate said, pointing at one of the hats. "However, that one fedora needs to be moved over to the left a bit."

Suddenly, the fedoras emmitted beams of light and a vortext opened within their radius, shining brightly for a brief moment before dying down and almost blinding everyone.

"THERE IT IS!" Phantom R said. "The... friendzone."

"I can't believe it's actually called that," said Phosphora.

"The neckbeards were the one to name it," Sly said. "We kinda just went with it for lack of better term and because why not?"

"If we're going to go in, we'd better be damn well prepared," Nate said. "I lost a friend to something like this once. Oh poor Sully, if only I could save him..."

Chair-kun did some sign language, as Nate replied back in sign language.

"He told me he was sorry for my loss, and told me that we'd better take some fedora repelent with us on our way in. God knows how long we'd last without some," Nate explained.

"Oh, I have a lot of that stuff," Deadpool said as he pulled out a few bottles. "I have to get away from the majority of my fanbase somehow, anyway."

"Alright, so we have the repelent. Anything else?" Phantom R asked.

"Food. Lots and lots of food, since we have no idea how much time we'll spend in there," Nate said. He took off his backpack and opened it up. "Stash as much repelent and food in here as you can."

"On it," said Deadpool as he poured a bunch of the bottles of repelent in as well as a shedload of packaged food and water bottles. "I like to be resourceful."

"Right-so is everyone ready to get this on the road?" Nate asked.

Everyone nodded.

"Right. Then let's enter."

* * *

Adachi sat some fedoras down around a sanatic summoning circle, gathering around the entire group to stand around it and hold hands while chanting.

"FG ON WFT" Adachi chanted aloud. He kept repeating it as the others started to speak it too, Adachi's eyes losing their pupils as he lifted up in the air, letting go of those he held hands with.

"I-it's working!" Dr. Mario said in surprise.

A huge portal then opened within the circle.

"That it is!" Eggman said in a laughing, gripping his boyfriend Riku's hand tighter.

"So do we just step in?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked. "That doesn't seem very safe..."

"Actually, it is safe," said Billy Bob Frank. "Why wouldn't it be?" he continued, walking into the portal that had opened. "OH GOD EVERYONE COME QUICK!"

Everyone came rushing into the portal only to be met with another large group also in this dimension.

The place was dizzying, with portals open all over the purple and red sky that had black splothes everywhere. The colors flowed around in a creepy way, making things awfully unsettling.

"You!" Dr. Mario said, pointing at Shrek.

"What are you doing here?" Shrek barked back. "And why are you wearing that hat and working with those neckbeards?"

"Why are you working with those no-good thieves?" Dr. Mario retorted. "They're actual bad guys."

"Speak for yourself," said Phantom R. "We only steal what we need to put a stop to the likes of you."

"Nice try, but you go against the law you dolts," said Nui.

"So do all of you!" snapped Phosphora.

Nui gave Phosphora a mocking look, both of them about to fight. However, before Phosphora could move Shrek but his hand on her shoulder.

"Phosphora," he said.

"What?" she responded.

"We don't have time for this, though we do have time for something else. Do you know what that something else is?" Shrek said calmly.

"What?" she asked again.

"TO RUN!" Shrek shouted.

Everyone broke out into a jog, the good guys and thieves leading the way while the bad guys and the neckbeards trailed behind already feeling tired.

"You aren't going to get to the Love Stick!" Scott yelled

"Oh we will, and then we'll sell it to some shady guy for lots of money and then destroy it before he gets to use it!" Sly yelled back.

"How far away is this thing anyway?" Elsa asked as she ran.

"It should be only be like, ten miles away or so," Nate said. "I have a map that I looked over a lot and I'm 51% sure we're heading in the right direction!"

"Are you serious?" Chad shouted.

"It's alright, we can throw them off nearby!" Nate said. "Once they get left behind we can plot something."

* * *

Everyone huffed for air as their running came to a stop. After running for a while, the neckbeards and bad guys were no longer in sight.

"Alright," Nate said. He took out his map and spread it over the ground. "We could keep following our current path and split at the fork that's ahead. Half of us go left, half of us go right. Afterward we can mislead the neckbeards with more split ups on these paths until they all die off from the death hazards around here and regroup by following these paths to the Love Stick."

"Alright. Sounds like a good short half-assed plan for a good short half-assed chapter," Deadpool said.


	34. Chapter 34: Nice Guys Finish Last

The League of Super Evil Chapter 34: Nice Guys Finish Last

Dr. Mario spotted a familiar set of figures in the distance.

"Those guys seem to be taking it easy. We should ambush them now," Wizzro suggested.

"Exactly what I was thinking," Dr. Mario said. He seemed to be very on the edge, his usual frank nature and calm voice losing its composure.

"Are you alright boss? My readings show your emotions have been much more active than usual. It seems you are invested quite a lot in something compared to usual," Metal Face observed.

"I'm always invested!" Dr. Mario stammered. "It's just that I'm much more serious now-well I was before, but now I'm trying twice as hard. I won't let Shrek and his gang of miserable backstabbing cronies slip away now!"

"So... you really dislike Shrek... what for?" asked Pac.

"That damn ogre betrayed my group. He claimed he was some oh so amazing big bad ogre but instead he flipped over and tried to act all good. Some good guy he is. What kind of good guy screws over his girlfriend by going to back someone that cheated on him? Oh how Shrek and Shadow are truly perfect for one another, that poor Elsa. Elsa isn't any prize either, though. Left this group and went to go help Shrek after he saved her or something, probably doesn't know any better and still has a thing for him," Dr. Mario vented. "I've been sick of all the lighthearted fools in this group since the earliest missions. I'm glad the group split, as now the evil namesake of it is in a much better condition."

Hearing even more of Shrek's exploits managed to make Pac's disliking of him grow stronger. He desired to help the onslaught of The League of True Super Evil.

"Come now, we must follow them. Now is our only chance to catch up with them and stop them from stealing our treasure," Adachi said. "Those campy brats remind me of a group I had to fight once and it doesn't make me happy..."

* * *

"They're coming. I can sense them not too far off from here, they'll arrive within a few long moments. It depends on how much energy they've regained," Rodin announced.

"So we prepare to split now, aye?" Shrek asked.

"Correct. I say we go about it this way," Nate began. "Shrek leads one team, Elsa leads the other..." he continued, assigning each position.  
"I'm not really ready, I'm still kinda confused..." Magolor said.

"Then just follow along with me and you'll be fine," Deadpool said in a caring voice.

"Phew," Magolor sighed. "Thanks pal."

"Now here they come," Nate whispered. "Let's get out of here now!"

Everyone broke out into a run in their separated groups.

"Hey! Get back here! And don't split on us like that!" Riku shouted.

Shrek and Elsa ran to two different paths with their respective assigned allies following them. Dr. Mario, Pac, Billy Bob Frank, Luka, and Riku followed Shrek while Wizzro, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Metal Face, Nui, Scott, and Eggman followed Elsa.

"Why are more of them following us?" Elsa yelled, looking at Swiper.

Swiper just shrugged as he ran alongside her.

The groups kept running until they eventually split even further, with Dr. Mario, Pac, and Riku following Shrek and Nate; Nui and Billy Bob Frank following Elsa and Phosphora; Wizzro, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and Eggman following Deadpool, Magolor, Phantom R, and Sly; Metal Face and Scott following Gaius-II, Swiper, and Chair-kun; Luka following Chad and Rodin.

* * *

Gaius-II, Swiper, and Chair-kun turned a wall and hid from their enemies. They were in what was essentially a maze and it was confusing to them.

"Gaius, the modifier," Swiper said.

Gaius-II opened his mouth and started to speak in a voice very familiar to the approaching Scott.

"Scott, I'm sorry I broke up with you. You were right, you did do a lot for me..." the voice said.

"Is that... Ramona?" Scott shouted. He ran forward happily and was greeted by a sword he ran right into and died.

Gaius-II, Swiper, and Chair-kun started running as soon as they could in fear of Metal Face, and to continue the plan and reach the meet up point.

* * *

Nui and Billy Bob Frank followed Elsa and Phosphora, the former of the chasees using ice to try and make the two slip. However, all of a sudden Billy Bob Frank was pierced with Nui's scissor sword. Elsa and Phosphora were so shocked they stopped running.

"Why'd you kill him?" Phosphora demanded.

"Because, whether he's on my side or not he's a creepy. I caught him writing a weird story about me full of creepy and alarming things," Nui explained. "Besides, you should be thanking me; he wrote things about you two too. In fact, I found quite a few stories about other women we all know too, as well as some young girls."

Elsa and Phosphora were both disgusted.

"Thanks for ending him then, but we have to go," Elsa said. She and Phosphora picked up the pace once more as they made their way to the meet up spot and run away from Nui.

* * *

Deadpool, Magolor, Phantom R, and Sly stopped and made a person-ladder out of themselves and helped one another climb up the walls of the maze so they could spy from above. They saw Wizzro, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and Eggman looking around curiously.

"Where'd they go?" Eggman huffed.

"They'll show up... just wait..." Wizzro said.

Suddenly, Deadpool came flying from above standing on his sword as he sliced into Eggman.

"Oh, I'd never!" Magolor gasped.

Dr. Doofensmirtz ran away scared, as Wizzro chased after him.

"Get back here you idiot! We have a job!" Wizzro yelled.

The rest of the gang jumped back down to reunite with Deadpool.

"Why'd you do that?" Magolor asked. "That was so dirty... that wasn't even a fight!"

"In dire times a mission may call for dirty tricks," Sly said.

"Stealth is always a key part of being a thief. We rely mainly on it to avoid as much violence as possible but if there's going to be death it should be silent and quick," Phantom R continued.

"It's not a fun thing to do, but that guy was an evil neckbeard bent on world domination. You ever see his plans for a Disney World knock-off? Guy is horrible," Deadpool explained. "Going through with it takes a lot, and that is all a big part of being a mercenary. Even if now I only take jobs of the heroic moral allignment."

Magolor understood what they were trying to say, but felt a pang of guilt. He wondered how Riku would react to the death of his beloved Eggman.

* * *

Shrek and Nate came to a dead end as both cursed under their breath.

"I told you it was a right turn! I'M THE ONE WHO MAPPED IT ALL OUT!" Nate yelled.

"I know, I'm sorry but..." Shrek begun.

Nate pulled out his gun.

"We need to ready for them right away," Nate said quietely. Where's that weapon you showed me when you told me the story of how you lost your brother?"

Shrek summoned his Onionblade.

"It's right here," Shrek said.

"Okay," Nate said. "I only have one bullet left in this thing because I forgot to ask Chair-kun to reload this thing for me before we left. I'll shoot one and you take down the other two."

"I don't think we have to ki-" Shrek begun but was cut off as Dr. Mario, Pac, and Riku turned the corner and looked directly at him and Nate.

"Surprise, bitch," Nate said as he shot his gun at Riku.

Riku's head started bleeding as he fell to the ground.

"Eggman... Sora..." Riku said.

"Sora? You mean the spikey haired guy?" Shrek asked.

"You... how do you know him?" Riku asked as he breathed heavier than usual.

"My team defeated a Sora once," Shrek simply stated.

"You bastard..." Riku said with his dying breath.

"WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE?" Pac screamed in terror.

Nate climbed onto Shrek's back.

"Charge!" Nate yelled.

Shrek ran forward, trampling over Pac and Dr. Mario as he backtracked to the misguided turn he and Nate had made and took the right path this time.

* * *

Chad and Rodin kept running as fast as they could as Luka followed behind, constantly fixing his fedora as it kept falling out of balance.

"I've had enough of this motherfucker ever since he started obsession over that damn umbran witch," Rodin bickered.

"He's true to his neckbeard nature isn't he?" Chad asked.

"Correct," Rodin said. "You know you're damn strong for being a survivor of near neckbeardity."

"I know..." Chad said. "But just looking at him makes me uncomfortable."

Chad unleashed his ramen hair as he commanded it toward Luka and begun to choke him. He kept grasping tighter on Luka's neck until Luka had passed on.

"We shall never speak of this to another," Rodin said.

"Agreed."

* * *

The good guys regrouped and suddenly realized they were at the alter of the Love Stick.

"So this is the meet up point? You're so corny Nate," Shrek joked.

"That I am," Nate laughed. "I bet those bad guys are just wandering around aimlessly out in that maze now."

"Probably, those dumbasses," a familiar voice said. Everyone looked over to see Adachi walking toward them.

"Swiper, go grab that before he can get to it!" Nate yelled.

Swiper broke out in a run toward the Love Stick as Adachi yelled at him to stop. Swiper turned around, giving him a death stare.

"You understand if you try and get in my way, the universe will screw you over and you'll cramp up in a ball and die. Would you really want that?" Swiper asked.

"Swiper no swiping," Adachi said as he pointed his gun at Swiper.

Swiper flinched for a moment.

"How did you..." the fox mumbled.

"Swiper no swiping..." Adachi continued, cocking his gun.

Swiper let out a small sweat.

"Swiper no swiping," Adachi said, pulling down on his gun.

A bullet shot out of Adachi's gun and went straight into the poor fox, killing him.

"You monster!" Nate yelled.

"Oh please, how are you any different? You shoot thugs up all the time," Adachi said.

Nate flinched.

"I'm so tired of your kind. I was planning on screwing over the other guys, too. I don't get this whole group effort thing, you know? Every time I end up fighting someone all they do is go on and worship bonds and friendship and all that junk," Adachi moaned. "Let me guess-you must all be the same, huh?"

Shrek thought deep down about his entire journey thus far. He remembered how much each of his friends meant to him and how much they had done for each other. He thought of how they grew closer over the times through the thick and thin, and how much he truly cared for each of them. Shrek knew they were a big part of his strengths; both emotionally and physically.

"Well, my friends do mean a lot to me," Shrek said.

Adachi immediately took out a tarot card and threw it into the air, then grabbing it and smashing it in his fist as it glew a bright blue color. A giant red monster thing appeared above Adachi.

"PERSONA!" Adachi yelled.

Shrek felt the strength of his bonds radiating within him.

"シュレック友情ファンフィクションパワー" Shrek yelled, summoning a giant onion monster above. It had an Onionblade as well.

_~A New World Fool from Persona 4 plays~_

Adachi's Persona swung it's sword at Shrek's Persona who swung its sword back, sending Adachi's Persona backward a bit. The two Personae battled in the sky above, casting sparks all around them as they continued to sword fight.

"Enough of this power of friendship bullshit!" Adachi yelled, tipping his fedora. "Why bother with it? If love is everything then I'm gonna make everyone love me! HAND OVER THE LOVE STICK!"

"NO!" Shrek yelled, sending his Persona to stab Adachi's Persona.

Nearby, Nate begun to make his way to the Love Stick as everyone else watched the battle while lamenting together over Swiper.

The League of True Super Evil entered the place (not realizing what Nate was doing) and begun to watch the battle.

"Who needs to make any truces or bonds to live? It's not my fault people are stupid enough to trust each other! Even that idiot Dr. Mario is weakened by these so called bonds!" Adachi vented.

Dr. Mario took his fedora off and stomped on it.

"Piece of trash..." he mumbled, looking at Adachi. "Do him in good, Shrek. I hate your guts but I'm sick of things like this."

~Reach Out to the Truth from Persona 4 plays~

Shrek screamed a very shonen style scream as his Persona grew bright and he felt the hearts around him radiating with hope and cliche. His Persona began to reshape as some sort of giant entity resembling that of himself. Using this newfound power, Shrek sent his Persona slicing down on Adachi's with its giant Onionblade, completely destroying Adachi's Persona as it continued to attack Adachi himself, crushing him flat with the Onionblade.

"Another one bites the dust," Nate said. He grabbed the Love Stick and smashed it against the ground. The entire dimension started shaking as Shrek used the power of friendship and bad storytelling to open two portals; one near himself and his friends, and another where the bad guys stood.

"You all get to escape too, but not with us," Shrek said.

"I hate your guts," Dr. Mario said with a smile. He piled into the portal with his allies.

Shrek turned back to see Nate being the only one of his group who hadn't jumped through the portal yet.

"You did well, pupil," Nate said, walking over to Shrek and patting him on the back.

"That I did," Shrek said.

"That you did," Nate agreed.

Shrek and Nate then went through the portal together as the dimension itself ceased to exist. The thieves returned back to their home that night after a celebration, and that would be the final celebration Shrek would have.


	35. Chapter 35: Shrek Flashback VII

The League of Super Evil Chapter 35: Shrek Flashback VII

Shrek woke up next to his lovely ogre girlfriend Fiona. He smiled as they looked at each other awake, happy to merely be with one another. Shrek was so overjoyed in his swamp, as he had all the friends and family he could ever hope for. Shrek had hoped for nothing to change. And then it all did.

Shrek had married Fiona, as Donkey had married his girlfriend Donkey. Donkey had children with his girl, though Shrek desired for no such thing with Fiona. He shuddered at the thought of having to share her attention with children.

Shrek disliked one thing about Fiona though, and that was how she stayed in contact with Dreck. Dreck was Fiona's ex, a blue ogre who was rude and crude, and always treated Fiona falsely. It bothered Shrek to no end.

However, Shrek started to realize that around Fiona he did not feel as if he were worhthy. Shrek noticed many things wrong about himself that he did not care for, and he realized how much he missed Shadow from High School. Shrek simply did not feel true to himself around Fiona and that eventually made him lose interest in the short lived thing they had.

Shrek sighed the next morning, and the next morning, and the next morning, etc. Shrek couldn't stand another day in his now cluttered swamp. Shrek decided to have a private talk with Donkey.

"So, you really sure you want to just up and leave Fiona like this?" Donkey asked.

"Aye. I know it's rude but I'll sort myself out later. Besides, I think she deserves a better me," Shrek said.

"One that wouldn't run away from her," Donkey said seriously.

Shrek suddenly felt tense.

"Look Donkey, you can be a bit annoying at times but I'm not in the mood for you to boss me around today," Shrek said.

"I'm serious Shrek. Don't do this man, don't do this to her. She needs you..." Donkey said.

"Does anybody else need me?" Shrek said mockingly.

"I need you," Donkey said.

Shrek looked away.

"I'm not in the mood. Don't act like we're all campy just because we just so happen to be friends. Peh," Shrek said.

"Come on Shrek, but we all love you. Fiona especially. You can't just walk out on your girl!" Donkey pleaded.

"What do you know about love, Donkey?" Shrek asked.

"I have a wife," Donkey replied.

"A dragon wife that's likely just going to eat you after it's bred and fed," Shrek remarked.

"Not cool man," Donkey said, wandering away. He felt deeply wounded, being sick of the constant jokes those would make of his and his dragon wife's love.

Shrek felt guilt as Donkey stormed off, regretting what he said. He knew deep down inside comments as such offended Donkey but was also truly concerned about him and felt as if Doneky wasn't safe being in a relationship with a dragon.

Shrek slipped back into his house. He heard the sounds of a shower and Fiona singing. The song made his heart feel warm and fuzzy, but he ignored those feelings as he made way to grab a secret key under his alarm clock that he took out to the swamp to unlock a shed. He used that to open a vault with a bag of supplies within it.

"I'm sorry my friends, but I must leave now..." Shrek said. He put the bag on and made his way out of the swamp, climbing up a giant, green, and lush hill that gave him a great view of the surrounding world.

Shrek took in a deep breath of air.

He had reunited with Shadow and learned of the affair Shadow had had with him.

Shrek had become an alcoholic while trying to get over his loss of Shadow.

Shrek had reunited with Elsa in rehab after deciding to pick his life back up once more.

Shrek had been assimilated into a program that promised him great rewards for his deeds alongside Elsa, both of them more or less getting brainwashed into being evil.

Before all that, Shrek had gone to High School, and before that he had lost his older brother Shrack.

He had crushed for Shadow.

He had been bullied.

He had found a friend and mentor in his teacher Mr. Drake

He had met and made friends with Elsa and her sister.

Shrek had graduated.

More recently, however, Shrek had fallen into an evil slum. He had tried to assassinate President Lincoln.

He had fought the Friendly Neighborhood Individual Justice Committee.

He had helped an onslaught on an island.

He had been given super strength.

He had been given a healing factor.

He had cheated on Elsa.

He had fought SHIELD and the Avengers.

He had switched sides to a path of good.

He had decided to truly fix his negative traits.

He had decided to atone for his mistakes for Elsa.

He had helped a gang of heroic thieves save the world.

But where was Shrek to go next? The very place he was just leaving now in this flashback.

* * *

Shrek longed for his swamp. He thought back to the times he had in it, where he was able to wallow in his own self pity and former negative character. It felt easy, and he missed when things were easy. Now he felt as if he had nothing to do once more besides loaf around and wait for things to happen. He knew he couldn't return, though. Back home Fiona awaited as did Donkey, and the others. He longed for simplicity but not for his past; not his former self or the repercussions of his decisions. Shrek was happy now, excited for the future, but he wanted to check in on things back home. He needed a reason; an excuse. Shrek sighed, trying his best to fall asleep in the comfy castle beds of Arendelle Castle. Shrek was sure things would soon become fast paced and exciting as usual again in no time, as he went through group after group and struggle after struggle ever since he joined The League Program. He felt worried, though... as if something bad were about to happen. Just as those thoughts were nearly put to rest, Shrek suddenly heard a knock on his door.

"Shrek, someone has sent you mail," Elsa said. She slipped the letter under the door and Shrek walked over to pick it up.

"Thanks. I'll read it after I finally get some sleep. I've been up all night," Shrek said.

"No problem. Get some rest," Elsa said over the door.

* * *

**THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL IS ALMOST OVER! However, you can come aboard for a brand new arc coming out soon!**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 36: Homeward Bound**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 37: Into the Dragon's Den**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 38: Movin' Right Along**

**The League of Super Evil Chapter 39: Shrek Flashback Final**


	36. Chapter 36: Homeward Bound

The League of Super Evil Chapter 36: Homeward Bound

Shroke woke up, grasping the letter he had received early tightly in his hand. Deciding to just get ready for business, Shrek opened the envelope only to scan the bottom of the note and see it was from Fiona.

Shrek was already worried.

He looked at the top and read it.

_Dear Shrek,_

_I desperately hope this letter somehow reaches you. If it does, I regret to inform you that Donkey has sadly passed on. My royal family from Far Far Away sent some knights in to confirm, and they spotted Dragon and her donkey-dragon hybrid children gathered around his carcass eating him. We both knew she was bad for him but failed to help him. I know you must feel strong remorse due to your emotional side you don't like to talk about, but I want you to know it's gonna be alright. Let the tears of loss flow through you. We are holding a funeral for Donkey very soon, and at it we would really like to see you. Please come, it'll be held at the swamp in September; the very end of the month. Arrive whenever you'd like, we have a living quarters set up for you._

_~Opelucid City from Pokemon White plays (not the Black version, don't get confused~_

Shrek felt a tear roll down his cheek. He remembered how he had yelled at Donkey a long time ago about Dragon eating him one day, and how it made Donkey feel terrible. Everyone saw what Dragon was doing, yet Donkey poured so much love into her, and at his very own expense.

Shrek gathered some supplies in a bag, but not just any bag. Shrek still owned the same bag he had taken with him when he had originally left his swamp. He felt corny taking it with him on his way back.

Shrek was about to walk out the front door of Elsa's castle but stopped himself. He decided to tell her at the very least, and for her to pass it onto the others. He had always planned for her to be the new leader of the group had anything happened to him.

So Shrek had met up with Elsa in Elsa's room, privately.

"What is it, Shrek?" Elsa asked, sounding unsure.

"I'm returning home," Shrek said frankly.

Elsa looked a little surprised.

"What for? Does it have to do with the note?" Elsa asked.

"That it does," Shrek replied. "My friend from long ago has passed and I wish to attend his funeral. That, and I..."

"You...?"

"I wish to avenge him."

Elsa looked at Shrek with a sad look.

"I understand. I don't believe it's right to go through with it as we're a team of good guys, but if you feel it's justified..."

"I do, Elsa. He was my best friend and I could have prevented this. Plus, I need to go. I need to go and fix my past."

"I'm glad you're so responsible now compared to before," Elsa said. "You've changed a lot Shrek. I'm starting to accept you as a friend once more."

"And that's all I wanna be," Shrek said. "You deserve better than me. You need to go out there and find a good guy or girl for yourself, okay?"

"Okay, I promise," Elsa said with a smile.

"And also... while I'm gone... and if I never come back, I want you to be the new leader of The League of Super Justice. I want you to tell the others as well, but only after it's been a few hours since I've departed."

"Shrek, I... I never thought you'd make me leader," Elsa said with a choke. "Are you sure? Why not Chad? Or Phosphora? Heck, even Deadpool or Magolor?"

"They're not as strong minded as you are, even if you've had a few hiccups in the past. I trust you Elsa, and I know you'd make a great leader. Especially now with your own past settled; that about you inspire me, especially as I am yet to fix my own."

Shrek and Elsa shared a quiet, yet happy moment.

"Don't die, Shrek. This team needs you," Elsa finally said.

"It needs us all. We're all an important and vital part of this team, even if it feels like it was never meant to be. We're like a dysfunctional family of sorts," Shrek said.

"Yes, we are," Elsa agreed.

The two hugged just before Shrek finally departed, traveling on boat to leave Arendelle as he returned to the continent where his swamp awaited. Shrek journied as far as he could on his quest to return to his swamp. After traveling for a month, he finally found old and familiar landmarks until he realized he was backtracking the same path he used to leave his swamp. He returned to his swamp, it looking exactly the same. He knocked on the door of his old house.

Dreck opened the door.

Shrek snarled, but that snarl turned into a simple frown when he saw Fiona approach from behind Dreck and wrap her arms around him.

"Hello Shrek, it's nice to see you again," Fiona greeted.

Dreck gave Shrek an intimidating grin.

"I see you kept the place nice," Shrek said awkwardly.

"Welcome back," Dreck said coldly.

* * *

Hours after Shrek left months ago, Elsa gathered everyone together in the dining hall of her castle.

"Hey, it's been a while since Elsa's had to group everyone together," Magolor said.

"Yeah, last time she did that I think was when I was still horrible to you," Phosphora said.

"WOW! That does feel like a really long time ago!" Magolor replied.

"Yeah," Deadpool said with a chuckle. "It happened so many chapters ago I wasn't even there!"

"Hold up a moment," interrupted Rodin. "Where's Shrek at, anyway?"

Elsa gulped, then begun to spoke. She didn't like talking to the entire group, but now would be a good time to get used to it.

"Shrek has decided to return home. He may be a while, or he may never return," Elsa revealed. "However, Shrek has appointed me leader of the group."

Everyone looked surprised.

"Why'd he return home?"

"Are you serious?"

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"But Shrek would never..."

* * *

Over at the League of True Super Evil, Dr. Doofensmirtz sat as he tinkered with an inator. Wizzro kept telling jokes about him at his expense until Doof decided to get up and leave the building. He walked over to an empty part of the beach and sat down. Pac approached and sat down too.

"Why do they always make fun of you?" Pac asked.

"They're all rude and only care about the harm of others and for themselves. I used to think I myself was evil, but after seeing them... I just don't know anymore. I'd rather be with the good guys, ya know?" Doof ranted.

"You'd WHAT?" Pac asked.

"Oops! Me and my big not-so-evil mouth!" Doof stammered.

"I'm telling Dr. Mario! You're not loyal at all!" Pac yelled. He got up and ran off.

"No, wait!" Doof shouted. There was no time.

Doof ran off as well, going into a little shack on the beach he had made his own and put a secret lair in. He put an access code into a vending machine as it opened an elevator and took him down. There he quickly pulled out tools, building a device as fast as he possibly could.

"I've had enough of all of these people... I need to make a Communicate-inator right now! It's my only shot at getting out of here alive!"


	37. Chapter 37: Into the Dragon's Den

The League of Super Evil Chapter 37: Into the Dragon's Den

"So the dragon is in its castle?" Shrek asked.

"Yes. It hasn't set food outside ever since we caught it eating donkey," Fiona said. "It knows that trouble is heading toward it for what it's done!"

"Aye, that it is. I'm going to go deal with it myelf," Shrek said.

"I suggest you do, go out there and avenge your friend," Dreck said.

"Are you stupid? You'll get killed!" Fiona said. "You just got back and here you are being reckless again already."

"But that's why I came back; so I could be reckless. Trust me Fiona, I never got to slay a baby dragon as a child ogre. This is my right of passage to true ogrehood and after all I've grown I think I'm fit for an adult dragon," Shrek half-joked. He turned around, putting his back on Fiona and Dreck as he made way in the direction of the castle.

"Shrek!" Fiona called.

"Forget him, baby," Dreck said.

"But I'm worried..." Fiona pouted.

"Don't be," Dreck said. He thought that the less of Shrek he saw, the better.

* * *

Over the past month or so, Deadpool had really resumed his training with Magolor. Magolor was getting so good that Deadpool had to stop going easy on him while sparring, and noticed that he was requesting Magolor go easy on him now.

Deadpool realized Magolor was fully trained.

"Well Magolpal, I think I've done it; there is nothing else I could possibly teach you. You've shown some increeeedible growth! I now dub you; 'Magolpool.'"

Magolor dropped his Magolblade that he could now dual wield as two, looking at Deadpool in shock.

"You really mean it? Like, really?" Magolor said in excitement.

"I do mean it! You're so strong now, so powerful... I couldn't be anymore proud of you!" Deadpool said cheerfully, picking up Magolor like a son and throwing him into the air and catching him. "You're an official mercenary now!"

"I'm a mercenary! I'm a mercenary! But I won't kill any good people and just jail the bad ones! Yay!"

* * *

Tingle felt one of his triangle fairy tiddies as he rested in the heavens above. He sighed, missing his friends as he opened up a portal to view each and every one of them. He sent his blessings towards the good ones, hoping it would help them succeed in the coming times.

* * *

Shadow was lying down in bed, but suddenly he remembered someone. He remembered Shrek, and how he had left Shrek behind when he went to Melee City. Recent events had been chaotic, especially with the recent reveal that Cia was still alive and getting to meet her again, alongside some other wacky hijinx. Things were so serious and different with his krew that he almost forgot about Shrek, and also the fact Shrek was in a league. An opposing league. Shadow knew deep down that Shrek was not a bad person, and was hoping Shrek would realize that and would leave his villainous team. Or maybe he already had...

* * *

Phosphora sat at a table in her room, fixing her nails as she hummed a tune. She finally felt happy for once after all the recent choas had died down. After Shrek had left, the group became more straightforward. Now the gang simply took up jobs to track down criminals or save people. Each mission would be a quick excursion with a few members sent out that would be rewarded handsomely. Rodin would always go on the most missions, but that's another story...

Phosphora did feel happy though. She thought about how great she was as a person compared to before. She truly had grown and changed, and it showed for the better; especially as she went from being a mere rude bully to Magolor to becoming a true friend. She loved herself, and wanted to be more expressive than ever before. She thought deep down about some old friends from her past, such as other goddesses and hoped maybe she'd be able to rekindle her friendships with all of them.

* * *

Spider-Man swung into a small apartment building.

"Welcome back webhead. Any intel?" asked Captain America.

"Not much. I've learned that our friends over at The League of Super Evil split over a month or two ago. Apparently half of them are good guys now working together to stop crime in Arendelle," Spidey revealed. Sounds like it'd be an interesting thing to become a part of now, doesn't it?"

"Hmm. It'd be a big surprise if they saw us now, wouldn't it? They have no idea that the two of us survived that one night. Maybe we should give them a visit and give them our congratulations for finding the path of justice..." Captain America replied.

"Yeah, maybe we should," Spidey agreed.

* * *

Dr. Mario sat at his table with Nui, Wizzro, and Metal Face.

"So you think you may have found out about your past?" Nui asked.

"Yes. I was watching the reruns of Sakurai's Nintendo Fanfiction 2 which you may all know as the Supspace Emissary 2: Electric Boogaloo. Then something suddenly hit me," Dr. Mario replied. "I was enlighted by something. But something about me now bothers me as well..."

Before anyone could ask what it is, Pac came running in.

"Dr. Mario! Dr. Mario! Dr. Mario! Dr. Doofenshmirtz is trying to escape and become a good guy!" Pac shouted.

Dr. Mario got up from his chair.

"No, not today. Quickly, to his secret base that he hid in plain site!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz activated his Communicate-inator which launched a video chat with him and an old foe.

"Monogram! I need your help!" Doof yelled.

"Dr. Doofenshmirtz? What is it?" Monogram asked in surprise.

"I'm being held somewhat captive by an evil and murderous group! Oh this is the type of evil I HATE! I'm on that island that was attacked in the news months ago, please please please send some agents!" Doof pleaded.

"Some agents? Why not just Agent P? Are you in any immediate danger?!" Monogram yelled back, already summoning some agents.

"No, these people are freaks with powers and odd abilities. They're also very evil and kill people, Agent P wouldn't be enough and as for the immediate dange-"

"Hello, doctor. I'm sorry but we just realized that we already have a doctor here, and I predate oyu immensely," said Dr. Mario as he stood at the elevator doorway with the rest of his cronies.

"Aw poo," Doof muttered.


	38. Chapter 38: Movin' Right Along

The League of Super Evil Chapter 38: Movin' Right Along

Shrek entered Dragon's castle, moving his way through the old traps he had recognized from years ago. It took little to no effort to make it through the place, though he could slip up at any moment due to the undying emotions he felt going through him. Shrek was hellbent on avenging Donkey now. In fact, it wasn't just Donkey; it was proving himself. Every ogre would have to fight and slay a young dragon around their side as a right of passage. Shrek had never liked himself before, but now he felt as if he was a good person. He believed now would be the time to fight a dragon, one that matched him in will and wits. Shrek viewed now as the perfect time to fight, and that was just what he was going to do.

* * *

Deadpool was lying down on his bed as someone suddenly flew in.

"SPIDEY! OMG YOU'RE ALIVE!" Deadpool shouted, almost having a heart attack that wouldn't even be able to kill him.

"I'm not the only one," Spidey said, backing away from Deadpool in fear of a hug.

Captain America climbed into the window, barely able to pull himself through without breaking the window due to his strength.

"We've heard of your amazing deeds thus far, Wade. We wish to speak to Shrek once more," Captain America said.

"Oh, Shrek? He's left. He's gone off to fight a dragon," Deadpool said.

"A dragon? ...Wait, does he still believe he retains my strength as well as your healing factor from before?" Captain America asked.

"Yeah, and the experiment worked. Why's that?" Deadpool asked.

Captain America sighed.

"Remember how back in school, we were all subjected to experiments to be given our powers?" the captain asked.

"Yeah," Deadpool replied, starting to feel worried.

"They gave one kid both of the serums they used on us. He only kept the powers for a few months before they vanished and his body started to rot. Your ogre friend may very well be dead right now," Captain America explained.

Deadpool sat up right away.

"Oh no..."

* * *

Rodin strummed a guitar as he sat next to Chad.

"So, this isn't too hard. And you can make some serious money off of these sweet sounds?" Rodin asked.

"Yeah," Chad said. "It's pretty great. Especially since a lot of the time you can just sing along with it about your feelings and stuff like that, I guess."

"...It sounds promising," Rodin replied. "And dangerous. Are other bands still tracking you down? That Bill guy really screwed you over; most demons are like that-but not me. I used to be an angel once, actually."

"Yeah, every once in a while one pops up. I have to go out in public in a new disguise and my wife and I had to get a fake divorce and we struggle to meet up without being spotted by anyone. My family is on witness protection now too, so they're not as immediately dangered anymore. I still just wish it was easier to protect those I care about while revealed," Chad rambled.

"You're strong, Chad. You survived near neckbeardity, and you'll survive this. Come on, we have a band to start now. I declare us the founding members of Backnickel," Rodin replied.

Chad simply smiled at him before they both began rocking out on guitars.

* * *

Elsa ate lunch together with her sister Anna and her friend Olaf.

"It's great to be able to do this, again," Elsa said.

"I agree," Anna said.

"I'm so glad you're not actually dead," Olaf said happily to Anna.

Anna and Elsa shared a glance that showed their mistrust in each other still a little evident.

"Are you sure you've told me the full truth, Elsa?" Anna asked.

"I'm sure," Elsa replied with a frown.

Olaf just sat their quietely, feeling the heavy atmosphere for itself.

"Well... hopefully if anything happens to that Shrek guy we can just get another one of him too," Olaf said.

* * *

Dr. Mario looked at Dr. Doofenshmirtz, giving him a wide grin.

"I already made it clear we don't have time for your not-so-evil type here. I know you tampered with my tracking devices I had put on those goody goodies. Now you think you can just go and betray me?" Dr. Mario ranted.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz quickly hung up his Commnicate-inator and backed away from Dr. Mario and co, who kept nearing him.

"If only you had a ground to stand on while wishing for mercy..." Dr. Mario said coldly. "You're the worst member of this entire group, I don't even know what we were thinking when we let you in! Luckily, we've being a lot more conservative with our member choices from here on. Nobody who isn't truly evil, or nobody who can't easily be manipulated."

"I uh... Iiiiii-" Doof choked up.

"What? Spit it out! Whatever you're about to say is going to be your last words!" Dr. Mario shouted.

Suddenly, the wall broke open as a bunch of ships appeared above the sky and a bunch of animal agents poured in.

"I'm on my way out, suckers!" Doofenshmirtz yelled.

The horde of animal agents kept attacking Dr. Mario, Nui, Metal Face, Wizzro, and even Pac as Agent P came out. The platypus agent grabbed Doof's hand and pulled him away as he took out his grappling hook and shot it up toward a ship, then pulled both of them out.

"Perry the Platypus, you saved me!" Doof said in awe.

"Gyrururururu," croaked Perry as he tipped his hat at Doof.

"Oh believe me I've seen enough of fedora tipping lately," Doof joked.

The platypus and evil pharmacist were then pulled into the ship by Monogram.

"Thanks for the lead, Dr. D. Sorry you almost had to die, but I guess evil can lose its tame sometime," Monogram said.

"Yeah," Doof said under a heavy breath. "But about being evil... I think I'm done for now. I'd like to join the OWCA if that's alright with you."

* * *

Dr. Mario screamed as the animal agents beat at him in cartoony ways. He was incredibly pissed off to be bested by a bunch of animals in hats. The fact they were all wearing fedoras made it worse after the recent neckbeard incident.

"I have had enough!" Dr. Mario shouted.

He flipped open a secret compartment on his watch and pressed a button as he alongside Nui, Metal Face, Wizzro, and Pac vanished.

The five of them reappeared in a small shelter somewhere. It was dark and there was boxes of survival supplies all around them.

"Where is this?" Nui asked.

"My secret underground hideout. I put chips in all of us that I trusted so we could easily be taken here in a dire emergency, though being beat by a bunch of little animals is hardly an emergency," Dr. Mario explained, steaming with anger.

"Calm down doc," Wizzro said. "What was that thing you were about to share?"

"This is heavy news..." Dr. Mario spoke, coughing to clear his throat after. "I'm not originally from this reality."

"You what?" Nui asked, confused.

"I hail from another world. You know that show Sakurai's Nintendo Fanfiction? It's not just a show. It's another dimension, and something happened there... something bad that has prevented it from continuing which is why the show of it is on a hiatus here. If I could go back I could use its current status to my advantage and finally fulfill my original diabolical plans I had there, but there's one problem..."

"What is the one problem, master?" Metal Face asked.

"I have plans here. And Pichu, my fallen love... I've recently learned how I could come to revive him," Dr. Mario revealed.

"That's heavy," Nui said, trying to sound understanding.

"Yeah, it is... so what are you going to do?" Pac asked.

"Isn't the answer obvious? I'm not an emotion-based fool! I have no purpose left in this world, I'm going back to where I've come from," Dr. Mario said. He walked over to a wall of the small bunker and kicked it, causing part of the wall to open up and reveal a device with a control panel. Dr. Mario walked over to the device and did some input, causing the control panel to light up.

"Wait... so you're going back?" Nui asked.

"I sure as hell am!" Dr. Mario said. He grabbed a remote and pointed it toward the others, pressing a button that opened up a portal and sucked them all in. "To Icarus' aid they go. I have no need for them any longer."

Dr. Mario turned back to his device, pressing a button which opened up another portal that he stepped into himself.

Dr. Mario suddenly returned to conciousness back where he had been defeated long ago in his efforts to turn everyone into Animes and Edgelings, beings made purely of anime and edginess respectively. He had been defeated by the Mario, Pit, Luigi, Link, and others of that dimension. He suddenly realized he had no idea though, and that he was just floating around. He couldn't move or do anything, just float there for eternity.

"Sakurai, you bitch..."

* * *

Shrek emerged in a room that was very familiar to him. He looked ahead, seeing a door where he knew his foe awaited. Shrek sat down to eat the final contents of his supplies, resting himself up for the battle that was about to come.


	39. Chapter 39: Shrek Flashback Final

The League of Super Evil Chapter 39: Shrek Flashback Final

"So you'd like to check into rehab?" asked a man in a nice suit.

"Yes, that I would," said Shrek.

"Once you get in, you can never leave. You're going to be kept until you're completely treated," the man explained.

"I know that," Shrek said. "I would like that."

Shrek was enrolled in the rehab facility. He was given a tour by a bearded man, being shown his room, food places, bathrooms, and so on.

Shrek woke up, went to class, and hung around the facilities all day. He began to bull out and find himself feeling a lack of emotions until one day...

Shrek saw someone across the room from him in the food court of the facility. He regonized her as the friend he had hung out with every day after school; Elsa.

Shrek approached Elsa.

"Shrek?" she asked, startled and full of emotion.

"Elsa..." Shrek mumbled.

The two hugged each other tightly.

From then on, Shrek and Elsa had spent every day together while in rehab. Shrek told Elsa of his exploits with Shadow and his swamp days, and Elsa had told Shrek about how nobody back home understood her.

Shrek and Elsa had become the unofficial pairing of the rehab, everyone supporting and enjoying their relationship and the happier vibes it brought to the entire facility.

One day one of the heads of the rehab, Bruce Wayne, was about to make an announcement.

"You've all come a long way from your troubled pasts, and many of you are truly powerful. I believe you can all be truly wonderful people; ones who can help others and inspire them. Which is why I am here to introduce the Suicide Squad prog-"

Suddenly, Bruce Wayne was shot dead from afar as a green dinosaur approached.

"Any of you who are pansies, run now," the green dinosaur said.

Chaos erupted right away, a bunch of people just standing there confused.

"All of you who remain, help me haul out Wayne I hope none of your moral alignments don't tend to sway, because now we shall begin our path down an evil way."

Shrek and Elsa, along with some others they would soon come to know; Chad, Dr. Mario, Nui, Phosphora, Magolor, Tingle, and Pichu-the original The League of Super Evil.

Shrek, Elsa, Chad, Magolor, Phosphora, Dr. Mario, Nui, Tingle, and Pichu were given a battle and maintenance robot named Metal Face and were treated to an evil base to carry out their operations.

The gang had quickly been susceptible to splitting into smaller internal cliques of sorts, with various relationships and pairings opening up, while some still tried to stay in touch with their past lives and everyone in the group.

The League was one that Shrek felt right away out of place in, and he knew was not destined to last long. Shrek had always knew from Day 1 the group would fall apart quickly. He felt as if becoming a part of it were a step backwards from all the progress he had made in rehab, and it took him a while to finally admit that to himself once he begun to try and change who he was-for the better. In present times, he smiled as he looking back one veryting. He was happy with his changes and felt an energy he did not normally feel thinking about those he cared about and those who cared about him. He was ready to fight the dragon and to then return home, fix his past mistakes, and move on to a new life.

* * *

**Now THAT was a short flashback chapter! Come back next time for the FINAL chapter of THE LEAGUE OF SUPER EVIL! **


	40. Chapter 40: Endgame

The League of Super Evil Chapter 40: Endgame

* * *

**Welcome all who have made it this far to the final chapter of The League of Super Evil. Maybe you read the entire thing, none of it, or a few chapters. Nonetheless I still welcome you. This chapter has the most intense yet somehow most half-assed battle yet. I love you all for following this story and I'm somewhat glad I got to be a part of the whole Hot Topic Krew thing, especially since this is a canon dealio. I'm gonna love following the adventures of these characters in HTK if they resurface there. From here on I am personally done with intentionally bad and/or crack fanfiction, which is the only type of fanfiction I've ever wrote for the past few years. I have little to no time for any of this anymore as I'm preparing for college and my senior year of High School, have a time consuming job, and want to spend as much time with my girlfriend as possible. It's been a wild and mostly stupid ride on this site, but I'm more than ready to jump ship. Cya guys!**

* * *

Shrek swung open the door and held up his shield was quickly as possible. Three baby dragons rammed toward him, but Shrek knocked them back with his shield. He then charged toward them and drew his sword on them, easily ripping through their young dragon flesh. Shrek let out a roar as his eyes pierced violently into the eyes of Dragon, whom stared back at him with a look of pure anger, hatred, and death.

Shrek threw away his sword and summoned his Onionblade, but this time he had two. He was DOOOOOWL WEEELDING!

Shrek ran through the room, dodging shots of fire Dragon shot out at him and leaping over obstacles left and right.

Shrek then jumped high up onto Dragon's leg, then onto her back as he jammed his Onionblade down into it. Dragon screamed and shot fire everywhere from her mouth, as Shrek grabbed his Onionblade and scaled down her back, tearing a big cut into Dragon.

Dragon then flew up and bashed her back against the wall as Shrek jumped off. He looked up at Dragon, ready to be hurt thanks to his nifty healing factor.

Dragon crashed down right next to Shrek and swiped a claw at him.

Shrek screamed, the pain feeling much worse than he anticipated.

Dragon kept bleeding from her back, breathing heavily.

Shrek charged forward and sliced at Dragon with his Onionblade, cutting off a toe as Dragon tried to stomp on him. Shrek simply leaped away as he kept bleeding from his cut, running to the backleg of Dragon and managing to cut off one of her legs.

Dragon screamed, leaping up and stomping down. Shrek was unable to move and was crushed under Dragon who lied down on him.

Shrek felt himself dying, feeling worried even though he was still under the impression he had a working healing factor.

* * *

Elsa thought deeply about Shrek, wondering where he was now. Shrek had left over a month ago and Elsa had worried that he had passed in the fight with the dragon. Oh, how Elsa had wished she could hear from Shrek. She just wanted to know...

* * *

Magolor, Deadpool, and Phosphora sat in a pizza place. The three had all become close friends over time and loved to go out for fun.

"Hey, I've been wondering what's been up with Shrek lately, ya know?" Deadpool suddenly said before biting into a slice.

"Yeah, it's been quite a while. I guess he made Elsa our leader for a reason..." Phosphora said solemnly.

"I hope he's doing alright, wherever he is..." Magolor spoke.

* * *

Chad and Rodin were working together to draw a new logo for their new band, Backnickel.

"It looks pretty damn good," Rodin said.

"Yeah. I wonder what Shrek would think, though... he always gave me good constructive criticism on these things," Chad said.

"Huh. That's odd," Rodin said.

"What?" Chad replied.

"I just thought about Shrek too. Wonder where he is," Rodin said.

"Hopefully he's safe," Chad replied.

"I hope so too," Rodin agreed.

* * *

Shadow woke up and thought of his beloved Shrek. He was wondering when he'd get to see the ogre once more, but part of him felt unsure. He sensed that Shrek was in danger, and wondered where he was. Shadow did something against the goth code and prayed-for Shrek. He prayed for Shrek and hoped for the best.

* * *

Spidey and Captain America sat down at a coffee table in Elsa's Castle. They had been welcomed into the League of Super Justice as honorary members.

"So, how much longer do you think that Shrek guy has left?" Spidey asked.

"Not much longer..." Captain America grimly replied.

* * *

Nate sat down with his gang, rolling in sweet treasures and dosh they had obtained on their heroic exploits against bad guys. Nate suddenly remembered Shrek and how he had helped him a bit over a month ago. He thanked Shrek, hoping he was doing alright wherever he was now.

* * *

Shrek suddenly felt a pulse of energy as his muscles bulged. He pushed up as hard as he could, starting to feel overwhelming strength as he somehow managed to topple over Dragon and throw her. Dragon broke though the wall and landed outside the castle, Shrek jumping as high as he could to follow her.

Shrek landed painfully, quickly falling as his legs felt great shock from his landing.

Shrek jabbed his Onionblade into the ground to use it as support to pull himself up as he kept bleeding. He looked into the half-closed eyes of Dragon, who stared at him with no energy left. She eventually shut her eyes and stopped breathing.

"Donkey... I did it..." Shrek said, before his breathing stopped and he fell to the ground.

Fiona and Dreck were walking nearby and spotted him.

"Shrek...? Shrek!"

* * *

And so word of Shrek's death was returned to The League of True Super Justice. The news shook them greatly, so greatly they all had to decide on what to do.

The team had decided to go separate ways.

Elsa, Anna, and Phosphora stayed at the Arendelle Castle.

Deadpool, Magolor, Spider-Man, and Captain America continued to fight crime and evil, sometimes working together or with different heroic teams.

Chad and Rodin continued to sing for Backnickel, becoming more famed than Nickelback ever was and letting Chad express his feelings and letting Rodin make some sweet dosh.

As for the bad guys...

Dr. Mario returned home, but was stuck to eternally float around as a small spirit.

Nui, Wizzro, Metal Face, and Pac were sent to Icarus to work as assistants.

Doofenshmirtz joined the OWCA, whom had decided to recruit all the Muppets and give them new jobs in order to keep them all financially stable.


End file.
